Darque Wants (32 page)

              When Anna woke the next morning, Kat was already back from the showers. The two girls spoke but only in little bursts. A quick trip down the hall to the showers and Anna was getting dressed and ready for registration. The two girls went together, but throughout the day their conversations were short and uncomfortable. By the time they reached the dining hall that afternoon though, things had relaxed between them and conversation turned back to a more comfortable line about life back home and friends. After a trip through the quad where they listened to a little live music, and countless invitations to join social action groups, the two headed back towards their room together to call it a night.

              “I'm cumming!” Anna called out. “Fuck, oh fuck!” She screamed as she shot up in bed. Immediately she spun her head around to find Kat, soaked in sweat staring back at her from across the room. The two looked at each other with a mixture of fear and confusion. But there was something else, both felt somewhat glad not to be alone even if there was an awkward sensation of embarrassment.

              Summer faded and the days grew short as a chill set in over campus. By the time Christmas break came around, things had settled into a rhythm. The two girls had become best friends, almost inseparable, somewhat to the exclusion of other social groups. Somehow Anna felt a connection and responsibility towards Kat, like an older sister maybe, she wasn't sure. The dreams kept coming each night for both of them, but the feelings of embarrassment between them about faded. They had begun talking openly about the man or the men they both saw at night. Some nights they laughed after they woke, while other, more intense nights, they helped to calm one another.

              Neither had any luck meeting boys on campus. They often joked that it was because they always hung out together, and people probably heard them waking from their dreams in the middle of the night and thought they were lesbians. But the truth was that both of them were finding it harder and harder to focus on their classes or homework. The dreams kept growing in intensity but were somehow incomplete leaving them feeling empty and aching. The emptiness grew with each passing night until it was almost consuming.

              Anna's body ached for someone else to touch her, for a man to take her. Her virginity had become a curse that plagued her.  Even sitting close to a boy in class made her blood start to boil. The craving the dreams left her with were almost overpowering. There were brief moments when she thought of just grabbing some guy on the drum field and tossing him in the bushes and just doing it. Both of the girls had been growing in their desperation, sexually. Their need had become a craving that had then turned into an obsession that was difficult to think past. 

              Anna packed her bag as she waited for Meredith to call and say she was there. “You know, I said you can come home with me if you want,” she said over her shoulder as she packed.

              “No, that's ok,” Kat replied. “I don't mind hanging here on campus over break. Besides, I don't want your mom to think you went off to school and went gay first semester.”

              “Yea, I don't know if she'd be making warm milk or dialing 911 if she heard us both screaming in the middle of the night,” Anna said with a giggle.

              “I know, right?” Kat said laughing.

              But still, Anna felt strange leaving Kat alone in the dorm over Christmas. In part because she felt that it would just suck to be alone at Christmas, but also because she had become attached to Kat so quickly the last few months and didn't really want to go without her.

              “You know, I could stay here, too,” she said as she looked over at Kat, feeling guilty.

              “No!” Kat said. “You go home and spend some time with your mom before she decides to move in here with us. She misses you so bad.”

              “Hell, no!” Anna said as she laughed along with Kat. But she still felt a sense that it was just wrong to abandon her best friend like this.

              Meredith arrived and there was more hugging than Anna had expected. She even grabbed Kat and hugged her so hard that Anna could swear she heard something crack inside the little girl. There were hugs in the dorm room. Then there were hugs in the hallway.

              “Mom, stop. Damn!” Anna complained. Though she was actually so happy to see her mom, she was almost in tears. “You're embarrassing me. Stop!” There were more hugs in the parking lot before Meredith tried to talk Kat into coming home with them. That was followed but a flurry of faster but equally powerful momma bear hugs before they were finally in the car headed home.

              Anna spent the drive home catching her mom up on the events of the semester. As the sun lowered in the sky, Anna found herself staring out the car window without really focusing on anything. She was really thinking about Kat.

              “Why did she really want to stay all alone?” she wondered as the dimming scenery passed by. She felt badly, leaving her friend alone knowing she didn't really have family or anywhere else to go. “Maybe,” she thought. “No,” she said in a drawn out tone.

              “No what, sweetheart?” her mother asked.

              “Oh, sorry, Mom. Nothing,” Anna said as she wondered to herself whether or not it could possibly be a guy. But Kat hadn't said anything about a guy. And after all, with the dreams they shared, they had gotten very close these last few months. She shook the thought out of her head and tried to move past it. But moving past it meant she simply moved to thinking about men in general. Anna shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she felt her thighs start to warm and a tingle building deep inside. “God!” she thought. “I have to get laid sooner rather than later.”

              The evening passed along with a wonderful dinner which Anna hardly touched. She felt guilty when her mom asked if college dining hall food had ruined her for homemade cooking, but she simply didn't have an appetite. She hadn't been able to get her mind off the burning emptiness she felt between her legs. Her panties were soaked through and she was aching inside. When she was finally tucked into her big bed naked and at home, she was so relieved to be alone for the first time, in what seemed like, years.

              Anna closed her eyes as her hands drifted down her stomach. The tips of her fingers slipping between her delicate lips sent shivers through her body. Then suddenly she was zapped backwards in time as she heard the loud creak of the floor board by the stairs. Suddenly, she felt guilty and slightly ashamed, and her hand jerked up above the blankets. “God! What's happening to me?” she wondered as she rolled over on her stomach and tried to get comfortable. Funny enough, she thought it was kind of strange not to be sleeping in pajamas.

              “Ohhh fuck!” she cried out as she shot up in bed. The sweat dripped off her shoulders and ran down her arms. Her thighs trembled and she burned inside even more intensely than usual. The images still flashed in her head of the room, the stone altars and the men standing around her and Kat as their bodies were used. She sat there naked with the covers wrapped around her waiting for her alarmed mother to knock at the door. But the knock never came. “Wow, I guess I'm not the only one who has gotten used to me being gone.” she thought as she decided to get up and wipe the wetness from her thighs.

              As she stood up, her naked body lit up in the pale light from outside the window. Anna turned her head to look out on her street. Suddenly, her breath stuck in her throat and her heart pounded furiously under her breast. He was there. He was outside leaning against the gate looking up at her as she stood naked in her window. She instantly fell to the floor in an effort to hide her body. She dragged her pajamas from her bag and wiggled around on the hard wood floor as she slipped into them. Then carefully Anna slipped back to the window and peeked over the ledge. Her heart started pounding again, and she was jolted to the core as she looked down to see him still standing there. She watched in awe. “He's never there twice,” she thought to herself as she kept looking down. His dark eyes were fixed on her. He knew she was there. He knew she was looking right at him, and he simply stood there, perfectly still against the gate. His tall form looked towering in the black suit, his features slightly chiseled for such a young man. But he was an ominous presence at any age. Finally, he moved just his arm, as his hand lifted up slowly and beckoned for her. Anna dropped down below the window, panicking. Her heart couldn't take this pace as it thundered inside her. Yet her body seemed to ache at her defiance of his call. She wanted, she needed to go to him.

              “Alright damn it!” she said out loud. “This has been going on long enough.” She rationalized the choice to go out to him. If it was a choice, she wondered for just a moment. “I'm going find out what the hell is going on,” she said as she scrambled to her feet and grabbed her bathrobe. Slipping out her bedroom door, she knew the drill. As she got to the edge of the stairs, she carefully stepped up on the rail and down to the first step to avoid the tattle-tale floor board. She learned that trick at Christmas time, years ago, and the memory somehow brought a smile to her face. She made her way down the step and out the door. As she came through onto the porch, she hesitated. He was actually still there, his eyes still on her. She wondered if he had actually watched her through the walls as she came down the steps. As she started to move down the sidewalk towards him, she could feel him somehow. As she got closer, she felt as if she was drawn to him, that he had a chain around her and was somehow pulling her along.

              Finally, standing just beside him, separated only by the cold metal of the iron gate she realized just how ridiculous this picture would look if her mom happened to gaze out the window. Anna stood a full foot shorter than this man. His dark hair and dark suit looked perfectly clean and sculpted. Meanwhile she stood there beneath him like a mouse. A mouse in a pink and yellow rubber duckies bathrobe. Despite the wardrobe malfunction, “And why do I even care?” she thought. Anna steeled herself to give him a piece of her mind. She stood up straight, brushed her hair back behind her ears and adjusted the robe so it opened slightly showing off her cleavage underneath. “Why the fuck did I do that?” she thought to herself as she was sure she didn't care if this guy found her attractive. “Oh God, does he find me attractive?” Her confidence was quickly fading and she knew it. She stood up straight again and began to have at him. Her mouth opened, and she blurted out.

              “Ok look, what the...” she began.

              “Hush,” he said in a smooth low tone, its bass rumbling through her body like little waves. Anna instantly fell silent, her mouth still hanging open. “I don't have a lot of time. I'm not supposed to be here,” he said. His eyes, were they brown, were they black? She couldn't really tell. They looked down at her so intently that she knew she couldn't look away. His hand came up to her chin and slowly pushed her mouth closed. His touch was deceitfully warm for the cold color of his complexion. His fingers opened and the palm of his hand slid across her face. Anna melted into his touch and her eyes fell closed. The rumbling started in his chest, she could hear it before his words even came out. “Anna listen to me,” he said as he drew his hand away. She ached for it the second it left her. She needed his touch.

              “How?” She stumbled forward as her face followed his retreating hand. “How do you know my name?” she asked as his hands gripped her shoulders tightly to steady her.

              “I don't have time to explain it all. Anna, please, just listen,” he said, still holding her upright. “You're very special. We only pick very special girls.” he said as he looked down at her. Anna's neck bent back as she tried to look up into his eyes. “But you have to surrender yourself. We can't take you until you do.” Suddenly, she was frightened again and stepped back drawing back from the gate. His hands held her tightly, though, and she was stayed. “Listen to me. If they find out I came...”

              “Who? If who finds out?” She panicked. “Let go of me. I don't want you to take me anywhere,” she said struggling to break free from his grip.

              “Hush,” he said again in the same low tone, and Anna fell instantly silent again. Her body stopped its struggle, and she was frozen still where she was. “If you don't surrender soon,” he said, his eyes now piercing her with more intent than she had ever seen. “If you and your friend don't surrender soon, we won't be able to protect you.” Suddenly, the silence of the street was broken by a sound in the distance. His hands released her, and he spun around in a single motion to gaze down the street. Anna fell a few steps back towards the porch as she watched him looking into the darkness. Finally, he turned back towards her. “Anna, please, if you don't surrender soon, they will come for you,” he said and for the first time she saw him as less than the stone-like figure that had haunted her dreams.