Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook (27 page)

Harnesses

A BDSM harness is a fairly generic term for just
about anything that is worn about the torso, and to which you attach
other
things.
  A simple example would be a
dildo harness
, which is
usually
(but not always)
worn around the hips and groin and is designed
to hold a dildo in place for
pegging.
  Other common types of
harnesses include cock and ball torture harnesses, chastity harnesses, purely decorative
body harnesses, and specialty bondage harnesses.  Some harnesses are
designed to be used
only
with other types of equipment, fetish
furniture, frames, hoists, swings or devices.  In short, a harness can
refer to
damn near anything
that attaches your body to
something
else.
 

Straitjackets

Straitjackets have come a long, long way in the past
few decades.  The boring but classic beige canvas straitjacket that most
of us have seen only in the movies has recently been joined by a wide
assortment of new straitjacket designs in all-new materials and hot new
colors.  The classic straitjacket consists of a canvas garment top that
closes in the back and has overly long sleeves which, when worn, are crossed
over the chest and then tied or buckled in the back, which prevents the wearer
from using his arms and hands.  

The
newer
designs, which are more appropriate
for
recreational
users, rather than
criminally insane
ones, are
typically made with leather, latex rubber, PVC or a combination of those
materials.  Minor variations in their design can include arms that cross
in the back instead of across the chest, the addition of wrist or crotch
straps, breast-access zippers, built-in toy harnesses, built-in chastity belts,
and sturdy closures or fasteners that will accommodate padlocks. 
Straitjackets make wonderful conversation pieces, and can always serve as the
punch line to any joke questioning your sanity.  They also happen to be
one of the few forms of bondage that even vanilla people will line up to try at
a party.

Straitjackets tend to fall into two general price
categories: expensive, and
ridiculously
expensive.  An authentic,
old-fashioned heavy-canvas straitjacket will set you back roughly $200, but a latex
rubber or PVC straitjacket can cost anywhere from $700 to $2,000 depending on
the quality of workmanship and your selection of bells and whistles in the
design.

As far as safety goes, straitjackets should be worn
loosely enough to permit some movement and allow for proper blood circulation
in the arms.  If a straitjacket is worn for long periods of time, it can
result in numbness in the arms or the pooling of blood and swelling in the
elbows.  When straitjacket-related injuries
do
occur they are, more
often than not, the result of the wearer falling or striking nearby furniture
while thrashing around in an attempt to
escape from it.

Rope, Straps & Chain

What good are all those collars, cuffs and sleeves,
if you can’t
attach
them to anything? 
That’s
where the
rope, straps and chains come into play.  We can categorized them all by
functionality
as
connectors
, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Let’s start with rope.  When it comes to
bondage, rope isn’t always used strictly for simple bondage or just as a
connector; it can also be used in the more advanced stand-alone bondage art
commonly referred to as
shibari or kinbaku.
  Both are Japanese
terms which came into general usage in the West in the 1990s. 
Shibari
refers to the generic art of
intricate knot-tying
, while
kinbaku
refers to the
erotic application
of the same skill.  The types of
rope traditionally used in shibari and kinbaku are jute (made from cellulose
and lignin fibers), hemp (derived from cannabis plant fibers), and linen (which
is woven from flax and sometimes cotton fibers), and various new synthetic
fibers. 

The type of rope you purchase for your BDSM
activities should depend on what you plan to do with it.  For most simple
bondage play, solid nylon or cotton braid rope that is 3/8” or 7/16” in
thickness is usually a good choice.  Solid braid cord is often preferred
over twisted braid for its ability to hold its shape when twisted into complex
or twisted shapes.  It also eliminates the need to remove the core from a
twisted braid, since leaving the core can make it more difficult to tie secure
knots; a 3/8” twisted braid rope with the core removed becomes a 1/4”
hollow
tube.
  For more advanced rope play, to include kinbaku and
suspensions, jute or hemp is typically the preferred type of rope.  A
simple rope kit for novices should include two pairs of 10-foot lengths, one
pair of 30-foot lengths, and at least one 50 to 60-foot length of rope. 
Rope pricing will vary widely, depending on the type of rope, braid, length,
color, and any other unique properties.  Rope that is specifically
produced and sold for shibari purposes can be quite pricy.

Straps
are
often used in lieu of rope in some kinds of BDSM bondage play.  Since
straps are difficult to
knot
, they are used primarily as connectors or
restraining devices.  For most types of bondage play, the same kinds of
nylon or canvas cargo straps that you would purchase from any hardware store to
secure items to your car or truck will work just fine.  They come in a
variety of utilitarian styles, which include ratcheting straps, flexible rubber
straps and straps with built-in D-rings or O-rings.  You
can
get
specialty straps designed specifically for BDSM play from many fetish retailers
but, for the most part, they offer no significant advantages over the hardware
store variety and tend to be far more expensive.

Chain,
like the
riding
crop
, is an iconic symbol of BDSM with a reputation which
may or may
not
be entirely well-deserved.  It is exceptionally good at supporting heavy
loads, has great aesthetic qualities, and the
psychological
impact of
chain is undeniable.  On the
other
hand, chain can be heavy,
unwieldy, and difficult to lug from place to place.  Additionally, chain
can oxidize or rust over time, which means it should be stored appropriately
and lubricated at regular intervals.  Adjusting the length of a chain
typically requires heavy tools, and connecting a chain to
anything else
usually involves the use of hooks, shackles, pin-anchors, clevises, lock-links,
snap links, carabiners, or padlocks. 

For very short lengths of chain which can be used
creatively in a wide variety of ways, consider purchasing several lengths of
stainless steel or chrome-plated
dog choker chains
from your local pet
store or big-box retailer.  These herringbone-style chains typically range
in length from 8” to 28” and have strong O-rings suitable for snap-links at
each end.  They’re very affordable, lightweight, attractive, and extremely
useful in all sorts of ways, particularly as connectors between cuffs and
equipment or furniture.  For more traditional types of chain, simply
decide on the lengths and number of segments you’ll need and visit your local
hardware store to talk to a salesperson about how to cut the spooled chain to
the lengths you want to purchase.

Ropes, straps and chains each have their own unique
safety concerns that are the natural consequence of their design and
utilization.  Ropes, for example, are far more likely to be wound around
portions of the body than straps or chains, and therefore pose a greater risk
of impeding a person’s circulation or causing strangulation. 

Straps, on the other hand, may have hardware
attached such as ratcheting gears that enable a strap to be tightened down very
securely.  A securing strap that is ratcheted down just a little too tight
could easily suffocate a person through postural asphyxiation.  It
certainly doesn’t help that some of these ratcheting devices can be
exceptionally difficult to release or loosen once there is a lot of tension on
the strap.  Always be sure to test out any strap-ratcheting mechanism -
especially the
quick release
, if there is one - on an inanimate object
before tightening one down on a live person. 

Chain presents us with a completely different set of
concerns.  Some types of chain can have an annoying tendency to
pinch
the skin
under certain circumstances and, depending upon the degree of
force applied, those pinches can sometimes turn into
cuts and
lacerations
. 
Chain can also sometimes unexpectedly kink or bind in ways that alter the
length of the chain in unforeseen ways.  Obviously, if a length of chain
that you were counting on to be a three-foot segment suddenly kinks up and
turns into a two-foot length, it could be a potential problem.  Chain is
also incredibly
unforgiving.
  There’s absolutely no flexibility in
a length of chain, and rarely any padding to cushion or protect vulnerable
parts of the body such as wrist joints, ankle joints, hip bones, tail bones, or
ribs from harm.  You should always closely monitor the spots where the
chain comes into contact with bare skin, keeping a close watch for binding,
bruising, pinching or any other
unintentional
discomfort. 

Another tip to keep in mind when using chain: some
people can be
very sensitive
or even
allergic
to certain types of
metal
that come into contact with their skin
.
  This
sensitivity is common in women who are unable to wear
jewelry
that is
made from anything but
gold.
  In rare cases, even
gold of low
purity
will trigger a skin reaction or infection; those women can only wear
18k or 24k gold jewelry.  Try to imagine how the skin of someone
who
can’t even wear pure silver jewelry
might react when it comes into contact
with a chain made from a
mystery metal
alloy and coated with unknown
chemical compounds used to deter rust in some backwater third-world
nation.  

Spreader Bars

Spreader bars are BDSM bondage devices which are
designed to do one thing and one thing
only:
keep a Bottom’s legs spread
wide apart to provide easy access to his or her
naughty-bits
. 
Spreader bars can range in design and quality from the homemade variety at one
end of the spectrum to expensive, yet wonderfully functional
works of art
at the other end of the spectrum.  The one thing they all have in common
is their basic design; a spreader bar is essentially just a stick with rings at
each end, to which
ankle (or sometimes, wrist) cuff
s may be
attached. 

Lots of do-it-yourself kinksters construct their own
homemade spreader bars simply by cutting a wooden broomstick or garden tool
handle to the proper length, screwing sturdy eye-bolts into each end, and
sanding down or covering any rough edges.  Homemade spreader bars may not
win any
art awards
but, for the most part, they work just like the
high-end
variety.  If, on the other hand, you prefer
not
being reminded of
your spreader bar’s previous life as a
kitchen mop
each time you use it,
then you might want to consider shelling out $50 to $150 on one from an online
specialty retailer.  

Top-of-the-line spreader bars often come with a
variety of ingenious features that you probably won’t see on your typical
mop-handle models.  Those features and accessories may include the ability
to adjust the length of the spreader bar as needed, swivel connectors at each
end, designs that allow for disassembly into a very small package, built-in
cuffs or shackles, customized locks, or the ability to attach other bondage
accessories or parts of the body along its length.  Spreader bars are
typically constructed with steel or aluminum pipe, but can also be made from
any sturdy material, such as wood or PVC
pipe.       

There are few safety concerns, to speak of, that are
specific only to spreader bars, other than a recommendation that you check your
subject’s toes periodically for adequate blood circulation and numbness.

Chastity Belts

Chastity belts have been around for a very long
time, although there is quite a bit of disagreement about
how
long and
whether their
actual use
was consistent with the common myths about them
that have persisted through the ages.  Since none of that is really
pertinent to our discussion here, we’ll just
skip
the
history
lesson and go straight to the good stuff.  It is probably worth noting,
however, that chastity belts have been and continue to be used for
non-BDSM
purposes
in various parts of the world.  In 1998, race riots in West
Java compelled a significant number of ethnic Chinese women to wear chastity
belts fitted with combination locks in public in order to avoid being raped by
roving gangs of thugs.  In 2007, the Asian Human Rights Commission
published a study claiming that some women were being forced to wear chastity
belts in rural parts of India.  And in 2008 in Batu, Indonesia, women who
were employed in massage parlors were required by local authorities to wear
locked chastity belts to prevent them from engaging in prostitution. 

The modern chastity belts which are used in
BDSM
play
come in both male and female versions and in a wide range of
styles.  They can be designed for a variety of purposes, which may include
preventing sexual intercourse, oral sex, stimulation or masturbation,
preventing the removal of
other
devices or attachments, preventing or
controlling urination or defecation, preventing an erection, or as a harness to
restrict a person’s movements.  They are commonly constructed from
leather, PVC, or steel and can range in price from $50 to
thousands
of
dollars.  In 2002, a manufacturer in Cape Town, South Africa sold a
gold
chastity belt decorated with
diamonds and pearls
to an English
customer for the equivalent of $16,000 USD.