“No,” Cassie told him. “You have all the memories you carry around inside yourself. Those will always be with you.”
He leaned forward. Some of the tension left his body. “You’re right. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but it’s true.” He smiled. “Thank you, Cassie. You’re very insightful.”
It was, she knew, her cue to leave. So she wished him good-night and walked out. After closing the door behind her, she leaned against the thick wood and reminded herself it was just a crush. Nothing else. But at this moment, still feeling empathy for his pain, it felt like much, much more.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“C
AN
YOU
smile?” Ryan asked as he adjusted the focus on the camera.
Sasha obliged him by placing one hand on her hip, gazing up at him and giving him a big grin.
“Very nice,” he told her. “You’re a beautiful princess.”
Sasha twirled around, then settled to the floor in a cloud of pink fabric. “Pincess! Me pincess.”
“Yes, you
are
a princess,” Cassie said, moving forward and straightening Sasha’s glittery cardboard crown. “The loveliest princess who ever graced a Halloween evening. Look at Uncle Ryan. He wants to take more pictures.”
Instead of following instructions, the toddler held out her arms for a hug. Cassie knelt down and gathered her close. “You’re going to have fun tonight,” she told the child.
Ryan looked through the viewfinder of the camera and took three quick photos, then chose not to look too closely at his motives for doing so. Why would he want photographs of the nanny? Except he knew deep down inside that Cassie was more than that. Over the past few days, she’d also become a friend.
His conscience battled it out over conflicting needs and moral obligations. As his employee, Cassie was entitled to his consideration. As a friend, the same rules applied. The fact that he saw her as a desirable woman put a difficult spin on everything. He still respected her and wanted to pay attention to what was right, but he couldn’t stop noticing her, thinking about her,
needing
her.
She didn’t wear perfume, but a soft, clean feminine scent clung to her and drove him crazy. During the day he could hear her moving around the house and he wanted to go find her and be with her. He thought about her when he was supposed to be concentrating on work. The more he tried to dismiss her from his mind, the more she seemed to invade his every thought.
If she’d been just a pretty face, he probably could have forgotten about her fairly easily. But she wasn’t trying to get his attention. Most of the time he figured she thought of him as
her
uncle Ryan, as well as Sasha’s. She treated him like a much older, distant relative. Obviously the nearly nine-year age difference meant a lot more to her than it did to him.
So even as he took a couple more quick pictures of her, he told himself he had to let this fantasy fade. It was nonproductive and only left him aroused and restless.
“Where’s your pumpkin?” Cassie asked as she pulled Sasha to her feet and gave her costume a quick once-over. “Wasn’t it right here?”
Sasha frowned. “Pun’kin?”
“Yes, the plastic pumpkin Uncle Ryan bought you so that you can take it when we go trick-or-treating and get candy. It’s about this big.” Cassie demonstrated the size with her hands.
“Me know,” Sasha said, then dashed out of the room.
Ryan lowered the camera and stared after her. “Do you realize I’ve never seen that kid walk? She runs and skips, sort of, and races everywhere.”
“Excess energy. Too bad we can’t suck a little of it out of her each morning. Think of how much work we could both get done that day.”
“Interesting thought.” He returned his attention to her. Cassie had dressed in black jeans and a multicolored sweater. Her usual heart-shaped earrings dangled, catching the overhead light.
“You look nice,” he told her.
She glanced at him. A slight flush climbed her cheeks. “Thanks. I wanted to be warm. It’s going to be cool tonight. I knew that Sasha wouldn’t want to wear a coat over her costume so I put her in two long-sleeved T-shirts and long pants underneath her dress. She’s a tad bulky to fit in with the royal set, but otherwise, she’s the perfect princess.”
She didn’t quite meet his gaze as she spoke and the flush lingered. He made her nervous, he thought with some surprise, incredibly pleased by the fact. Maybe Cassie wasn’t as immune to him as he’d first thought. Then she raised her hand to tuck her hair behind her ear and he caught sight of the ring on her left hand. Joel’s ring.
She was already committed to someone else, he reminded himself. He had no right to mess with her life.
He set the camera on the counter. “You don’t have to come trick-or-treating with us tonight,” he told her. “You haven’t been out with Joel in several days. Don’t the two of you have plans?”
She shook her head. “Bradley Discount is having a big celebration, with candy for kids and several departments offering special sales. Joel is in charge of all that, so he couldn’t get away. Besides, I
want
to come out with you and Sasha. I doubt she remembers last year, so this will practically be her first time. She’s going to have fun.”
“If you’re sure.”
Her gaze met his. “I am.”
He was too, sure that he wanted her. He could feel the heat rising inside him, the need growing. One of these days he was going to have to start dating again, he told himself. He couldn’t keep having fantasies about inappropriate women—they were starting to interfere with his work.
Sasha raced back into the kitchen. She held out her plastic pumpkin and grinned. “Me find!” She handed the container to Cassie, then walked over to her uncle and raised her arms. “Up.”
Ryan bent over and gripped her, pulling her into the air and toward him in one, smooth motion. Her little arms went around his neck. He settled her at his waist, his forearm supporting her butt.
“Hey, kid, you ready to go out trick-or-treating?”
Sasha nodded. “Me pincess.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have called you a kid. Are you ready to go trick-or-treating, your highness?”
The toddler giggled.
The doorbell rang and she pointed. “Go see.”
“Oh, so I’m transportation now, am I?” Ryan asked, although he didn’t really mind. He liked that his niece was comfortable with him and that he enjoyed being around her.
Cassie beat both of them to the door. She pulled it open, allowing her sister, in crocodile costume, and a man dressed as a pirate to enter. Sasha took one look at them and buried her face in Ryan’s shoulder.
“It’s okay,” he said softly as Cassie greeted her sister and brother-in-law. “You know Chloe, don’t you? Cassie’s sister? You like her. And that man is her husband. I’m sure he would really like to meet a real princess. Especially one as pretty as you.”
Sasha raised her head slightly, gave a squeak and hid away again. Cassie smiled at him. “She’s gone shy, has she?”
Chloe glanced down at herself. “Do you blame her? I think the theory of the crocodile costume was a good one. While I don’t look hugely pregnant, I also don’t look much like a normal crocodile. Maybe one that has pigged out over the weekend and is a little bloated.”
“You look spectacular as always,” her husband said. He glanced at Ryan. “I’m Arizona Smith. You must be Ryan. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
They shook hands.
“Great costume,” Ryan said, motioning to the other man’s black wig, fitted blue jacket with a matching hat and the fake pistols strapped to his waist.
“I left my hook in the car. I thought it might scare Sasha. I see we did that anyway.” He touched the child’s arm. “Sorry, little one. Adults are strange creatures and you’re going to have to get used to that.”
She raised her head slightly. Arizona gave her a big smile, then an exaggerated wink. Ryan felt her relax in his arms.
“You’re a very beautiful princess,” Arizona told her.
Sasha nodded, as if to say she already knew that much and did he have anything new to tell her. Cassie and Chloe laughed.
If Ryan hadn’t known Cassie was adopted, he would have wondered how the same family could have produced two such dissimilar daughters. Chloe was tall and elegant, even pregnant and dressed as a crocodile. She had the kind of sparkle about her that caused men to drop what they were doing just to watch her walk by. Cassie was several inches shorter, curved where her sister was lean, with a quieter beauty that Ryan found all the more appealing for its subtleties.
“We really appreciate you doing this,” Cassie told her sister. “We won’t be out long. Sasha will get tired pretty quickly.”
Sasha began to wiggle. Ryan set her on the ground. She walked over to Cassie and put her hands on her tiny hips. “Me not tired.”
“I know, sweetie. You’re a big girl. You’re going to have a lot of fun.” Cassie straightened her crown, then returned her attention to her sister. “The candy is there,” she said, pointing to a bowl on the table by the front door. “As I said, we’ll be back in plenty of time for you to head out to your party.”
Ryan glanced at his watch. “If you want to leave before we’re back—”
Chloe cut him off with a shake of her head. “The university party doesn’t start for over an hour and it goes practically all night. Take as long as you’d like.” She touched her stomach. “Arizona and I are thinking of this as practice for the coming years.”
“Absolutely.” Arizona stepped next to his wife and put his arm around her. Chloe shifted closer.
They stood together as if they’d been a couple for decades instead of less than a year. Their love for each other was as obvious and real as their costumes. Ryan felt a twinge of envy inside. Was this what his brother and Helen had experienced in their marriage? He’d never been around them enough to notice, and even if he’d visited, he doubted he would have bothered to pick up on the small signals all couples sent and received.
What a waste, he thought grimly. He could have been a part of a very special family…his family. Instead he’d wasted his time with too much work.
“Then I think we’re ready,” Cassie said. “Oops, Sasha’s pumpkin is in the kitchen. I’ll go get it.”
She walked down the hall. Sasha trailed after her.
“So what do you think of Bradley?” Arizona asked.
“It’s a great town,” Ryan told him and knew that wasn’t the question Arizona really wanted to ask. He decided to make it easier on the other man. After all, he was looking out for a family member. Ryan respected that.
“I regret that it took a tragedy to bring me here,” he said. “Without Cassie’s help, I wouldn’t have made it through these past couple of weeks. She’s terrific with Sasha and a wonderful person to have around. I have the greatest respect for her.”
“We think she’s special,” Arizona said, his gaze steady.
“As do I. It’s fortunate that she has family close by. If anything were to happen, she would have plenty of support.”
“I’m glad you recognize that,” Arizona said.
Cassie and Sasha returned to the foyer. “We’re ready.” She paused. “What are you two talking about?”
“Nothing special,” Ryan told her. “Let’s go.”
They called out their goodbyes and stepped into the clear, cool night. When the door had closed behind them, Cassie looked at him. “You’re not getting off that easily. I could smell the testosterone in the air. Was that some kind of male dominance contest?”
“Not at all.” He bent down and smiled at Sasha. “Would you like me to carry your pumpkin for a while?”
Sasha nodded. He took it from her, then held out his hand to his niece. Cassie took her other one and they walked to the sidewalk and turned right. Already there were dozens of children and adults out for the festivities. As they passed a group of boys dressed like monsters, Sasha shrank against Ryan. He squeezed her hand reassuringly, then continued his conversation with Cassie.
“Your sister and brother-in-law are concerned about your safety while you’re living alone in my house. They wanted to make sure that I understood they were looking out for your interests. I assured them that I respect you as a person and would never do anything to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m impressed you two got all that said. After all, I wasn’t gone that long.”
“Guys read between the lines. He understood, as did I.”
“If you say so. You would have more experience with the guy thing than me.” She paused. “Why wouldn’t they trust you? I do.”
His first thought was to tell her that was because she was so young. She didn’t have enough life experiences to know that she should be wary. But then he realized it wasn’t about age at all. It was about Cassie. She was one of the most open people he’d ever met. She would be this trusting at eighty.
“You take the world at face value,” he said. “That’s not always a good thing. Be grateful you have family watching out for you.”
They’d reached the first house. Cassie dropped to one knee and straightened Sasha’s crown. “Do you remember what we talked about this afternoon?” she asked. “About trick or treat?”
Sasha nodded.
“Okay, then all you have to do is walk up to that door and knock. When the people come out, hold out your pumpkin, say ‘trick or treat’ and they’ll give you candy.”
Sasha hesitated.
“We’ll go up with you,” Ryan assured her.
With Sasha leading the way, the three of them moved toward the front door. The porch light was on and more light spilled from the open windows.
“Go ahead and knock,” Cassie said.
Sasha stood immobilized.
“I guess this is a bigger moment than I’d realized,” Ryan said. He leaned forward and rapped his knuckles on the door.
When it opened a large, older woman peered out. “Oh, look, Martin, this one is so precious. Aren’t you just the prettiest thing.” She beamed at them all. “What a lovely family. Can you say ‘trick or treat’?”
Sasha opened her mouth, but there wasn’t any sound.
“Next year,” the woman said kindly. “She’ll be demanding seconds for sure. Here you go, hon.” She dropped a small candy bar into Sasha’s pumpkin. “You have a good time tonight and don’t eat too much sugar.”
They thanked the woman and left. As they walked down the path, Sasha fished the candy out of her pumpkin and held it up to both of them. “Look,” she said.
“I see.” Cassie took it from her and put it back in the container. “We’re going to wait until we get home before we eat any. You want to go to another house and try again?”
“More,” Sasha said.
Ryan smiled at Cassie over the girl’s head. “I think she’s getting the hang of this.”
At the next house they had to wait while the group in front of them collected candy. Sasha held out her pumpkin. She still didn’t say “trick or treat,” but she managed a faint “tank you” when a candy bar was placed in her container.