Drunk With Blood (26 page)

2 Kings 10.11

Estimated Number Killed: 20

Ahab’s family, friends, and priests

In God’s last killing (
107
), the chicken-shit leaders of Jezreel sent Jehu the heads of Ahab’s sons, all 70 of them.

But that didn’t quite satisfy Jehu. He had his orders from God, given to him by Elisha when Jehu was made king.

Thus saith the LORD God ... thou shalt smite the house of Ahab thy master ... The whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall ....And I will make the house of Ahab like the house of Jeroboam ... and Baasha ... And the dogs shall eat Jezebel in the portion of Jezreel, and there shall be none to bury her. 2 Kings 9.6-10

So although he was off to a good start, having killed Ahab’s son, Jehoram (
105
), Ahab’s wife, Jezebel (
106
), and 70 of Ahab’s sons (
107
), there still might be a few wall-pissing family or friends of Ahab left to kill.

The first place that Jehu looked was Ahab’s old hometown, Jezreel. He searched the town and found all of Ahab’s family, friends, and priests—whoever that was associated somehow with Ahab and might also have pissed against a wall at one time or another.

And then he killed them all.

So Jehu slew all that remained of the house of Ahab in Jezreel, and all his great men, and his kinsfolks, and his priests, until he left him none remaining. 10.11

Then he took his search elsewhere.

The text doesn’t say how many of Ahab’s family and friends were killed in Jezreel. I’ll just say 20.

2 Kings 10.14

Number Killed: 42

Ahaziah’s family

After Jehu killed what remained of Ahab’s family in Jezreel (
108
), he went to Samaria and met with the family of Ahaziah (of Judah).

He arose and departed, and came to Samaria. And ... met with the brethren of Ahaziah king of Judah, and said, Who are ye? And they answered, We are the brethren of Ahaziah; and we go down to salute the children of the king and the children of the queen. 2 Kings 10.12-13

It was a short, productive meeting. Jehu had only one action item: kill all the attendees.

And he said, Take them alive. And they took them alive, and slew them at the pit of the shearing house, even two and forty men; neither left he any of them. 10.14

That’s all that 2 Kings says about it. But the killing is also covered in 2 Chronicles.

The destruction of Ahaziah was of God by coming to Joram: for when he was come, he went out with Jehoram against Jehu the son of Nimshi, whom the LORD had anointed to cut off the house of Ahab. And it came to pass, that, when Jehu was executing judgment upon the house of Ahab, and found the princes of Judah, and the sons of the brethren of Ahaziah, that ministered to Ahaziah, he slew them. And he sought Ahaziah: and they caught him, (for he was hid in Samaria,) and brought him to Jehu: and when they had slain him. 2 Chronicles 22.7-9

So we know that the killing of Ahaziah’s 42 relatives was “of God”—which means that God approved of these killings.

2 Kings 10.17

Estimated Number Killed: 20

The rest of Ahab’s family

After meeting with Ahaziah’s family (and killing them all), Jehu got into his chariot and drove away furiously toward Samaria. On his way he ran across and old friend, Jehonadab.

Jehu asked Jehonadab, “Is your heart as true to mine as mine is to yours?” And Jehonadab said, “It is.” (They were really good friends.)

When he was departed thence, he lighted on Jehonadab … coming to meet him: and he saluted him, and said to him, Is thine heart right, as my heart is with thy heart? And Jehonadab answered, It is. 2 Kings 10.15a

Then Jehu said, “If it is, give me your hand.” (This is getting so romantic!)

If it be, give me thine hand. 10.15b

So Jehu reached out his hand and took Jehonadab into the chariot.

And he gave him his hand; and he took him up to him into the chariot. 10.15c

When Jehonadab and Jehu were finally together, Jehu said, “Come with me, and see my zeal for the Lord.”

He said, Come with me, and see my zeal for the LORD. 10.16

Then the two men, whose hearts were true to each other, rode off into the sunset toward Samaria.

When they arrived in Samaria, they slaughtered the rest of Ahab’s family, “according to the saying of the LORD, which he spake to Elijah.”

When he came to Samaria, he slew all that remained unto Ahab in Samaria, till he had destroyed him, according to the saying of the LORD, which he spake to Elijah. 10.17

And by so doing, the true-hearted partners expressed their zeal for the Lord.

The Bible doesn’t say how many were killed, so I just guessed 20.

2 Kings 10.25

Estimated Number Killed: 1,000

Followers of Baal

After Jehu finished killing Ahab’s family in Samaria (
110
), he called an assembly to worship Baal.

Jehu gathered all the people together, and said unto them, Ahab served Baal a little; but Jehu shall serve him much. 2 Kings 10.18

Jehu said that he would lead the sacrifice to Baal and any follower of Baal that did not come would be killed.

Now therefore call unto me all the prophets of Baal, all his servants, and all his priests; let none be wanting: for I have a great sacrifice to do to Baal; whosoever shall be wanting, he shall not live. 10.19a

But he was lying, of course. He assembled the followers of Baal, not to worship Baal with them as he said, but to kill them all.

But Jehu did it in subtilty ... that he might destroy the worshippers of Baal. 10.19b

So Jehu called the assembly.

Jehu said, Proclaim a solemn assembly for Baal. And they proclaimed it. And Jehu sent through all Israel: and all the worshippers of Baal came, so that there was not a man left that came not. And they came into the house of Baal; and the house of Baal was full from one end to another. 10.20-21

Then he told 80 of his men to kill of the worshipers of Baal, saying he’d kill whoever let any escape.

When they went in to offer sacrifices and burnt offerings, Jehu appointed fourscore men without, and said, If any of the men whom I have brought into your hands escape, he that letteth him go, his life shall be for the life of him. 10.24

When Jehu finished his sacrifice to Baal, he ordered the sacrifice of all of the followers of Baal.

As soon as he had made an end of offering the burnt offering, that Jehu said to the guard and to the captains, Go in, and slay them; let none come forth. And they smote them with the edge of the sword. 10.25

God approved of this and all of Jehu’s previous mass murders. He liked them so much, in fact, that Jehu’s sons would be kings of Israel for the next four generations.

The LORD said unto Jehu, Because thou hast done well in executing that which is right in mine eyes, and hast done unto the house of Ahab according to all that was in mine heart, thy children of the fourth generation shall sit on the throne of Israel. 10.30

(The Bible doesn’t say how many followers of Baal Jehu killed. I’ll guess 1000.)

2 Kings 11.18-20

Number Killed: 2

Mattan the priest of Baal and Athaliah

The high priest Jehoiada arranged an agreement between God, the king, and the people. The king and the people would be God’s people.

Jehoiada made a covenant between the LORD and the king and the people, that they should be the LORD’s people; between the king also and the people. 2 Kings 11.17

And as God’s people, they would destroy the religious symbols of all other Gods, and kill their priests. So God’s people went into a murderous rampage. They started by killing Mattan, the priest of Baal, at the altar.

All the people of the land went into the house of Baal, and brake it down; his altars and his images brake they in pieces thoroughly, and slew Mattan the priest of Baal before the altars. 11.18

And finished by killing Queen Athaliah.

And all the people of the land rejoiced, and the city was in quiet: and they slew Athaliah with the sword beside the king’s house. 11.20

2 Kings 19.37, Isaiah 37.38

Number Killed: 1

Sennacherib

Poor king Hezekiah was upset, so upset, in fact, that he “rent his clothes.”

And it came to pass, when king Hezekiah heard it, that he rent his clothes. 2 Kings 19.1, Isaiah 37.1

You see, Hezekiah had just heard the commanding officer (Rabshakeh) of the Assyrian army say that Hezekiah and his people would soon be “eating their own dung and drinking their own piss.”

But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you? 2 Kings 18.27, Isaiah 36.12

So Hezekiah, who didn’t much like eating dung or drinking piss, sent a message to Isaiah, asking him what he should do about it. Isaiah told him not to worry. God would put a spirit (or “a blast” in the KJV) in the king of Assyria (Sennacherib) so that he will “hear a rumor” to return to his home in Ninevah. Then God will cause him to be killed with the sword.

Behold, I will send a blast upon him, and he shall hear a rumour, and shall return to his own land; and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land. 2 Kings 19.7, Isaiah 37.7

And that’s what happened. Sennacherib returned to Ninevah and was killed by his sons while he was in church praying.

And it came to pass, as he was worshipping in the house of Nisroch his god, that Adrammelech and Sharezer his sons smote him with the sword. 2 Kings 19.37, Isaiah 37.38

But then, he was praying to the wrong god so he deserved it.