Finding Cassie Crazy (29 page)

We are supposed to be choosing our subjects for Years 11 and 12, as you are too probably, and I happened to ask Mr Botherit about what books they read in 3 Unit English and he gave me this funny look. And I realised he was thinking,
I hope she doesn't think she's good enough to do 3 Unit English!

It is strange that I tell you this, because I think I told you that we had secret assignments from Lydia, in which we had to write out our greatest fears. And they are now sealed in
Lydia's Note-book ready to read in ten years time. Although of course we already read Cassie's once.

Go figure.

But the terrible thing is, I don't actually think I was honest. Even with my two best friends. I didn't write my real fears, which include: a sudden outbreak of bad acne right before the formal (or at any other time), weapons of mass destruction, any of my family getting sick.

It sounds terrible but when Cassie's dad died I got so frightened that my own dad or mum or brother would also get sick, almost like awfulness was contagious.

You know, Cass is so quiet these days that it reminds me of when her dad died—it was stupid but I felt really angry with him for that. It was like he took a piece of Cassie with him when he left.

And now I think Paul Wilson has taken another piece of Cass.

She started skinny to begin with, I don't think you can take any more of her.

Lydia and I get annoyed with Cass (not to her face), because we wish she would be verbally angry with Paul, so we could give her therapy. But the only time I ever saw Cass lose her temper was once in primary when I told her she couldn't ring the school bell properly. Also, once last year, when the doctor came out of the hospital room and told her that her dad wouldn't be able to leave. We were there with Cass because it was the day her dad was coming home. Cass became very stern and angry with the doctor, as if he was a rude shopkeeper. ‘Don't talk to me like that,' she said, ‘Don't you
dare
talk to me like that.'

Anyway, never mind.

Dad just issued me with a summons to attend dinner. I was planning on skipping it as I understand from a recent magazine that it is no longer a required meal. Dad got William to serve the summons on me. ‘Are you Emily Melissa-Anne Thompson?' William said and I said, ‘Yes,' and he threw a paper on my bedroom floor and said (as per the movies), ‘Consider yourself served.' William is now making the summons into a paper aeroplane and Dad is standing in the stairway chuckling to himself.

Love
Emily

Dear Emily
There were a lot of sad stories and interesting things in your letter, and I would like to see you again and talk about them. I'm not good enough at letter-writing to talk about them by pen. Can we please go out again soon? I could just swing by your school and we could take a walk into Castle Hill. Any day next week?

I have many questions, eg, are you saying that Lydia is the one who gives you secret assignments? Why? Are they connected to your criminal conduct? Let's meet up, eh.

Charlie

Hey Charlie
I didn't actually mean to give it away about the secret
assignments, but I guess I wrote without thinking. The secret assignments started in primary when Lyd, Cass and I had this huge fight. It was the first fight we ever had and I can't even remember what it was about. Well, it was about how you ring the school bell properly. Anyway, all three of us stopped talking to each other for like ONE WHOLE WEEK.

Then Lydia solved it by inventing this thing she called the Significant Secret Assignment. She wrote out this assignment on three different pieces of paper, one for each of us, and she used different colours for each one and burned the edges of all of them. The assignment was to go over to her place for a slumber party and have a midnight feast and never have another fight again.

After that, Cass and I became a bit obsessed with secret assignments, and we made Lyd give them to us all the time. So she would give us assignments to do scary things such as sneak into the principal's office
while the principal was in the office having her afternoon nap
. We almost never got caught.

So! Then they faded away, but Lyd brought them out again to solve a fight we had in Year 7.

And then? Last year? When we needed some wild and criminal distractions?

Again.

They have faded away lately, except that Lydia always brings them out as a way of solving problems.

Anyway, Charlie, that is a nice idea about meeting up, but I don't think we should do that. The fact is, I am going cold turkey on you as our parents did with marijuana a few years ago. If I keep seeing you, I might miss you a bit when you start going out with Christina.

On that note, could you please give me an update of how it is going with Christina? Lydia is getting impatient with the revenge.

It is SO COLD it is like the coldness has my head in a headlock.

Love
Emily

Em
I am going to lay this on the line here. I am not interested in Christina any more. This is because I am interested in somebody else. Do you actually need me to tell you who the somebody else is?
Charlie
PS Can you give examples of what you've done for criminal secret assignments in the last year? Out of professional interest.

Dear Charlie
Well, actually, I think you had better tell me who the person is in whom you are now interested. Thanks. Or just give me a clue or two. Thanks.

Yes, I can give you examples of Lyd's secret assignments. She gave Cass an assignment to break into the car of a teacher at YOUR school last term and steal some exam papers. This was actually to help Seb avoid doing his exam.

You know, it's strange that you and Seb are friends, isn't it?
Don't you think that's a coincidence? That Lyd and I ended up writing to Seb and you?

Love
Emily

Dear Emily
Well, Seb and I were kind of distant buddies but we became friends when this letter-writing scheme began. This was because Seb received a letter from Lydia and he started asking around if anybody knew her name, because he thought, you know, the level of effort he put into his reply would be dependent on whether she was cute. That is Seb's style, not mine, by the way. I knew you were cute from your handwriting.

Anyway, I recognised Lydia's name because of my supersonic memory. Her mother is Marianne Jaackson, the former star of the excellent soap opera
The Tall and the Blooming
, and her father's a big-time judge. So I acknowledged Seb's request for information, and he and I spent a bit of time trying to track down a photo of Lyd. We found an old story about the family that had been in the
Woman's Day
, got a hold of the photo, and got confirmation that your friend Lydia is gorgeous. So he stepped up his letter-writing.

Meanwhile, in the process, Seb and I became buddies. It was inevitable, anyway, as we are both the type of people to get in a fair bit of trouble at school. Through no fault of our own. We would have run into one another in the principal's office at some point.

Catch ya
Charlie

PS I will give you a clue about the person I'm interested in. She gets a very cute dimple in her right cheek when she's trying not to smile. She has a very cute way of pronouncing ‘th', and she wears a cute hat on cold days, which is like a French beret. I once had an appointment with her to Gaze into a Girl's Eyes, which she went and cancelled on me, and I've been waiting all term for a chance to Kiss the Girl.

Dear Charlie
News flash! We have cancelled the revenge idea. You do not have to pursue Christina!! REPEAT: do not worry about pursuing Christina! Leave her! Lydia and I are going to work on something new. We don't know what yet. We will do something though! We know that!

And I will just be honest with you here, so there are no tricks or betrayals between us, and say that I actually knew what you looked like a fair while before I knew you. It was because Seb sent a photo of his own foot to Lydia, as part of a game they were playing (which now turns out was a dishonest game), and you were also, coincidentally, in the photo. Playing soccer. This happened just before I suggested we go on a Date with a Girl.