Finding Cassie Crazy (26 page)

I guess we should be careful to make sure it's him. Glitter gets around.

Cass also told me she's had enough of letters, which is a good thing, because even though I wanted her to send this one, I was going to put her in a straitjacket if she tried to write again.

I hope we find him soon.

Lydia

Friday

To: LYDIA JAACKSON-OBERMAN
SPECIAL COVERT OPERATION REPORT

OPERATION:
Operation Track Down Matthew Dunlop Assigned by Agent Lydia
RESULT:
Successful (see below)
FIELD NOTES:
Suspect was spotted by Agent AKA in the school admin block. Suspect was requesting new bus pass from school receptionist and reaching out to sign form. Suspect had one pink glitter speck on knuckle of right hand.

Suspect is in AKA's English class, so AKA's heart began to beat quickly.

AKA proceeded to skip next class in order to break in to Suspect's locker and search contents of locker. Contents of locker included approximately 500 glitter specks (scattered over books, rotting fruit etc) and the remains of one envelope addressed to Matthew Dunlop.

The envelope seemed to have been ripped into five pieces, probably while standing at locker (it looked like he hadn't even opened the envelope, just gone ahead and ripped it up). Suspect must have got a shock when glitter specks went all over the shop. That'll teach him to not open his letters.

DISCOVERY:
Matthew Dunlop is PAUL WILSON.
REACTION:
Discovery is a shock and a half to me and Charlie, for reasons which I should tell you in person.
QUERY 1:
What do you want me to do to him?

QUERY 2:
Charlie tells me he's meeting your friend Em after school every Wednesday. You and I should give that a shot.

Hey Em
Seb just told me he's tracked down Matthew Dunlop. It's a guy called Paul Wilson, which has hit us for a six.

I've mentioned him to you before, is the thing. He's the Year 10 captain, star of the school drama and boyfriend of the beautiful Christina.

See you
Charlie

Dear Charlie
THERE ARE SO MANY SURPRISES!

Friday was astonishing. I was just taking a little break from History in the library, downloading some mobile ringtones at the computer there, and Lyd came skidding in, breathless and shiny-eyed. She had just got the letter from Seb, disclosing Matthew's identity, and she also handed me
your
letter, which she'd found in the mail box.

There was so much to talk about! Lyd and I had to leave the school grounds. They were too small to contain our many thoughts.

We did not rush straight to Cass with the news; Lyd thought she was too fragile. So Cass still doesn't know. However, Lyd herself is all of one response: she is on fire with revenge. She wants to figure out the PERFECT REVENGE. It might take her a couple of weeks, as she wants to think it through, and then I will participate.

In the meantime, I will just philologise on the surprises.

One surprise is that the evil Matthew Dunlop has a name like
Paul Wilson
. It is so forgetful! It is such a plain, ordinary,
non d' scrip
name! Strange.

Another surprise is that Paul Wilson is the boyfriend of your Christina. And it makes me think: are you sure this Christina is a nice person, choosing such a horrible boy as that? Christina may not be that great.

You may like to set her aside.

Anyway, I'm glad the search is complete, as I am now free to do homework etc and, most important, continue with your training program. Would you like to continue?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOUR HELP WITH FINDING MATTHEW DUNLOP.

Love
Emily

Dear Em
It was a pleasure.

And yes, please continue with the training.

Great.

You're right about the surprises, but maybe some are not so surprising as they seemed. As I said before, I was bowled over when I heard it was Paul Wilson but now I've thought about it, it kind of makes sense. He's one of those charming types who all the girls giggle about, like girls do, and even teachers attempt to flirt with him. Being form captain, actor etc is where he gets his magnetism from, I'd say. (And it's not actually Christina's fault that she got pulled in by it, eh?)

But I've always thought he might have an evil marrow. Seb agrees. He thinks maybe Paul used the penfriend thing to release his evil self in an anonymous way.

Love
Charlie
PS I don't think you meant
non d' scrip
when you said that Paul Wilson is a
non d' scrip
name. I don't think that's a French expression but the English word: nondescript. That's just a feeling I have.

Dear Charlie
Okay, I have thought about this training program and it's going to have to take several weeks, even years. It may be that you will not even know Christina any more by the time it's finished! Who knows? The point is: there are so many aspects of being a boy that we have to cover! There are things like: the hair, the shoes, the talking, the walking, the dancing, the getting hold of alcohol without difficulty etc, etc.

We will be very busy.

To begin: one thing that all boys should be able to do (in my opinion) is to walk along beside a girl, occasionally kicking a pebble. So, I'm just wondering if you want to see me after school one day this week and walk to Castle Hill, Kicking a Pebble?

Love
Emily

Em
Sure, let's meet at your school gate again tomorrow, same time, and take a walk. I guess the important question is: do I bring the pebble with me or do I choose one lying on the road?
Charlie

Dear Charlie
For your interest, Cass was mixed in her reaction when we told her we had tracked down Matthew Dunlop. She was
quiet and said she didn't really want to talk about it. She asked us to leave it alone and said she didn't want any revenge.

But she doesn't know what she means.

I await Lydia's suggestions for the revenge, with interest.

See you tomorrow for the walking-along lesson. And please do not bring your own pebble as that would be funny.

Love
Emily

Hey Em
How did I go at Kicking the Pebble? I thought I rocked.
Charlie

Dear Charlie
Well, to be honest you are not much good at Kicking a Pebble. However, you redeemed yourself by being very funny in your conversation as we walked, and I just wonder why you hid your best humour from me on our first date?

One interesting thing is that I just tried to list some examples of when you were humorous, but I found that I could not explain
why
I was laughing half the distance into Castle Hill. I wonder if there is a lesson here, but what?

Now, changing the subject.

Here is something very annoying. Cass told us this morning that part of why she believed in Matthew Dunlop at the start of their letter-writing was that a girl in our year, Bindy Mackenzie, told her that she RECOGNISED THE
NAME. Bindy said that Matthew Dunlop PLAYED THE TRUMPET AT THE SCHOOL SPECTACULAR LAST YEAR.

Oh puh-lease.

So therefore Cass said to Matthew, ‘How is your trumpet playing going?' and Matthew just played along and agreed he played the trumpet. Which meant that Cass was more likely to trust him as she herself is musical.

Lyd and I have had a stern talking to Bindy Mackenzie to follow up on this and do you know what she says? She says, ‘Actually, maybe it was
Michael
Dunlop who played the trumpet.'

So, you can imagine, we wanted to kill her. Why did she tell Cass she was certain it was Matthew Dunlop when she CANNOT HAVE BEEN SURE. What an IDIOT SHE IS.

It now hurts my eyes even to look at Bindy Mackenzie, and the worst thing is that she is apparently SMART. She always comes first in English. The idiot. And when I stay back to do assignments in the library, she is always there with her laptop computer, sitting at a window desk, typing away like the wind. She is one of those touching typists, who makes a lot of clattering to show off how fast she can type, and also she LOOKS AROUND AND OUT THE WINDOW WHILE SHE TYPES. This is so we will all realise that she knows the keys off by heart. What a loser. I can't stand her.

Anyway.

How was your weekend? Mine was of some note. On Friday night my Uncle Christopher and Auntie June were at our place, collecting my brother William because my parents had to go away for the weekend. It was very unpleasant: Uncle Christopher has Breath, as I have told you before, and
won't stop talking; Auntie June is a very garrulous woman and hardly says a word.

It was good when they left, and Cass and Lyd took their place.

Love
Em