Finding Peace (Finding Series, Book 3) (11 page)

Gray let his hands settle on Luke’s tight ass and couldn’t stop himself from massaging the globes. It was probably more than he should have done to someone who hadn’t ever experienced a man’s touch before but Luke didn’t seem to have any issue with it because he quickly got Gray’s unspoken message and began to thrust into Gray’s mouth. Grunts of pure bliss spilled from Luke’s mouth as Gray twisted his tongue around his shaft with every forward motion but then Luke did something Gray hadn’t been expecting. He pulled free of Gray’s mouth and leaned down to seal their lips together. This time it was Gray’s mouth that was worshipped and when Luke finally released him, Gray momentarily forgot his primary intent because he got lost in Luke’s hungry gaze.

“I knew it would be like this,” Luke murmured as his thumb trailed over Gray’s lower lip.

“Like what?” Gray whispered.

“Like finding something I didn’t know was missing.”

The words had Gray spellbound for several long seconds and then his hungry mouth was sucking Luke’s cock into its depths. He showed Luke no mercy as he licked, sucked and nipped the sensitive flesh and when he heard Luke roar in satisfaction, he sealed his mouth around the spasming flesh between his lips and swallowed as jet after endless jet of semen hit the back of his throat. Long after Luke’s orgasm eased, Gray sucked on the crown of Luke’s cock until there was nothing left and then he rose to his feet and drew Luke against him for a searing kiss.

***

Luke never would have thought the taste of his own come would be a turn-on but with Gray’s mouth as the delivery system, he couldn’t get enough. As wrung out as he was from the explosive orgasm that he’d felt in every cell of his body, Luke was eager to reciprocate and reached one hand out to stroke over Gray’s groin. But before he could make contact, Gray was stepping back and saying, “We should check on Ripley.”

The brush-off stung but Luke released the grip he had on Gray’s waist. “Okay.”

He couldn’t read the look in Gray’s eyes as he put more distance between them but when Gray murmured, “You know, I think I’m just going to call it a night,” Luke could only nod because all the pleasure he’d felt just a moment before turned into something cold and ugly inside of him.

“Did I do something wrong?” he heard himself asking before he could think better of it. He hated the vulnerability in his voice but he hated the idea of not knowing what he’d done to make Gray do such a 180 more.

“No, just tired,” Gray said with ill-concealed sheepishness. “See you in the morning.”

Luke watched Gray turn his back on him and disappear down the hall leading to his room. It took everything in him not to follow and demand an explanation so he ended up going outside instead. He spent a good half an hour walking around the property as the sun finally slipped behind the horizon but not even the chill in the air could calm his raging frustration. Luke had had his fair share of blowjobs from the few women he’d dated but none could come close to what Gray had done to him. With the women it had only felt like they were slaking some physical need inside him but with Gray it had felt like so much more. He’d seen the look in Gray’s eyes when he’d told Gray how he felt – he’d fucking felt it in Gray’s touch…you couldn’t fake that shit.

It was that thought that had Luke storming back into the cabin and going straight for Gray’s room. He threw open the door only to find that Gray wasn’t asleep. He was sitting fully dressed on his bed looking at his tablet.

“You owe me more!” Luke growled as he stomped into the room and tore the tablet from Gray’s hands. “You can’t just fucking rip my world apart and then come in here and disappear into one of your books that you love so much-”

Luke’s rant died a quick death when he glanced at the tablet and saw what Gray had been looking at. “What is this?” he asked as he scanned the title of the article.
Sex after Testicular Cancer – What You Need to Know.

“Nothing,” Gray mumbled as he stood and tried to push past Luke.

Luke grabbed him with his free hand. “Is this why you walked away from me?” he asked as he held the tablet up.

Gray dropped his gaze. “The doctor said that the testosterone I was taking would help me get it up…”

Gray’s voice dropped off as he tried to pull free of Luke’s hold. Understanding dawned and Luke tossed the tablet on the bed. “You didn’t feel anything out there.”

“I felt things with you I’ve never felt before but not anywhere where I could do something about it,” Gray admitted. He glanced at the tablet. “I was hoping to find some other things I could try…” he began to say but then shook his head. Luke didn’t miss the flood of color in his cheeks.

Luke hated how tense Gray was so he did the only thing he could think of and kissed him long and deep. Gray’s answering moan had Luke shouting a silent victory cry in his mind and then he was pushing Gray down on the bed and pinning him in place with his body. His own dick was already rock hard again and he nearly cried out in relief when Gray opened his legs to make room for him.

“Our bodies line up perfectly,” Luke whispered as he peppered Gray’s face with light kisses. He could feel Gray’s hands at his waist and they tightened at Luke’s words. “I just want to explore you, Gray. If that’s all we do tonight or the next night…”

Luke realized he was treading into dangerous territory with his talk of a future that didn’t exist so he switched gears and settled deeper into the cradle of Gray’s hips and then kissed him. “Tell me it’s okay,” he finally said when he came up for air.

Gray nodded but then he was trying to sit up. “Let me just turn off the lights,” Gray said as he struggled under Luke’s greater weight.

“No, I want to see all of you,” Luke said as he easily subdued Gray and gently held his arms down.

Tears formed in Gray’s eyes and Luke instantly relinquished his hold on Gray but Gray just lay unmoving beneath him. “I’m a freak, Luke,” he cried out suddenly. “Even when my hair grows back and I gain weight, I’ll still only be half a man.”

Gray looked so broken as silent tears streaked down his cheeks that Luke was on the verge of releasing him entirely. But his instincts kicked in and he stayed where he was and leaned down and began kissing away the salty tears until they stopped all together. Gray’s body eventually went pliant beneath his and his ragged breaths eased. And when Luke kissed his mouth, Gray kissed him back.

“Do you feel that, Gray?” Luke murmured as he rubbed his erection against Gray’s body. “So even if you don’t believe the words I’m about to say, believe this, because my body can’t lie and it knows exactly who it wants,” Luke said.

“I knew the day we met that I wanted you in a way I’ve never wanted another person, man or woman. And I knew when I talked to Dane and Jax that this need I have wasn’t about any man, it was about one man. It’s you and only you. Nothing about you is a turn-off for me. Nothing.”

He leaned down to brush a kiss across Gray’s lips. “I’ll stop the moment you tell me to but make sure it’s because you don’t want me because I won’t accept anything less.”

Luke was thrilled when Gray initiated the next kiss. It quickly went from tentative and uncertain to needy and raw and it was Luke who had to break the kiss to catch his breath. Gray’s hands had found their way under his shirt and were skimming up and down his back as his hips lifted so he was brushing Luke’s cock with every upward motion.

With his desire quickly spiraling out of control, Luke reared back and stripped off his shirt and then went to work on the buttons of Gray’s. His fingers felt too big and awkward for the task and as his eyes connected with Gray’s he said, “See what you do to me?”

His voice sounded husky even to his own ears. But Gray seemed to understand his dilemma because he sat up and with Luke now straddling him, began helping with the buttons. Luke abandoned the task and focused on kissing Gray instead. Once Gray finished with the last button, he stilled his hands and Luke knew he was struggling with the final step of baring his body completely.

“Show me,” Luke whispered against Gray’s lips.

Gray removed the shirt slowly and tossed it to the floor and then his hands dropped down to rest on Luke’s thighs. Luke let his fingers explore Gray’s smooth skin. While Gray had definitely lost some muscle definition, it didn’t deter Luke in the least as he explored every ridge and hollow. He let his fingers settle on the spot on Gray’s chest where he’d struck him that first day.

“It feels like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it?” Luke asked softly.

“I never would have guessed that one of the worst days in my life would also be one of the best,” Gray said.

Luke hung there for a moment as he absorbed the words and then he was pushing Gray back down on the bed and devouring his mouth. Gray’s eager tongue welcomed Luke as he thrust past Gray’s full lips. They kissed for several long minutes until Luke finally forced himself to release Gray’s mouth and scorched a trail of kisses down Gray’s neck. His fingers roamed over Gray’s chest and settled on his nipples. He played with one while he sucked at the point where Gray’s neck and shoulder met and he heard a strangled moan escape Gray’s lips. An assault on Gray’s nipples was next and the resulting whimpers had Luke grinding his dick mindlessly against Gray’s.

As Luke made his way down Gray’s body, he felt Gray begin to tense up. The reaction helped cool Luke’s raging need and he shifted back up so he could kiss Gray. “Move up a little,” he said softly. Gray hesitated - probably because he knew why Luke wanted him to move farther up the bed – but then eased himself up on to his elbows and pulled himself up closer to the headboard and when he was done moving, Luke settled over him once more.

“One word and this stops, Gray. I just need to be with you even if that means all we do is sleep-”

Gray sat up and kissed him before he could finish the sentence and then he was taking Luke’s hand in his and placing it over the button on his pants. He lowered himself back down to the bed and watched Luke as Luke slowly worked the button free. The zipper was next and then Luke was climbing off of Gray so he could pull Gray’s pants off of him. He left Gray’s underwear where it was and focused his attention on the rest of Gray’s body. He kissed and touched every surface he could reach and when he next looked up to see if Gray was okay, he was glad to see that Gray’s eyes were closed and his lower lip was caught between his teeth.

Luke let his hands brush over Gray’s still flaccid cock and the instant he did, all the tension he’d managed to work out of Gray’s body came back and his eyes flew open. Luke palmed Gray’s dick as their eyes held each other but he didn’t make a move to remove Gray’s underwear until Gray gave him an almost imperceptible nod. Gray lifted his hips long enough to allow Luke to lower the underwear but he didn’t remove them entirely because his gaze was focused on Gray’s cock.

A moment of uncertainty came over him as the full impact of what he was about to do hit him. He’d loved what Gray had done to him out in the living room but getting a blowjob and giving one were two very different things. What if hated it and couldn’t go through with it? What kind of damage would that do to Gray’s vulnerable psyche? But even as his doubt began to build, he was reminded of the trust Gray had put in him – this one chance he’d given Luke to show him that he wasn’t any less of a man.

With that thought in mind, Luke reached down to run his tongue over the surprisingly soft skin. Intrigued, he did it again and then once more and with each caress, he felt saliva start to flood his mouth as his lust exploded. Whatever apprehension he felt at touching a man so intimately faded to the back of his mind as he ran his tongue over the crown. Gray surged beneath him at the contact so Luke did it again. As he continued to explore Gray’s length, he heard a cry of distress and looked up to see Gray had covered his eyes with his hands.

Instead of asking Gray if he wanted him to stop, Luke used his hand to pull Gray’s dick away from his body. He ignored the fold of empty skin beneath the heavy flesh and sealed his mouth over the tip. With each subsequent suck, he drew more of Gray’s length into his mouth and a surge of energy went through him when he felt the hot flesh twitch against his tongue. Gray had gone deathly quiet and Luke didn’t dare look up to check on him because he couldn’t bear to see the man’s disappointment. As he continued to massage Gray’s cock, Luke slipped his palm under Gray’s ass to knead the flesh and then his finger was slipping between the crease to search out his hole. He brushed over the pulsing entrance several times and then removed his finger. Instead of putting his finger in his mouth, he reached up to press it against Gray’s lips.

At some point he’d gotten Gray’s attention because Gray was watching him with a mix of desperation and want and he instantly opened his mouth and sucked Luke’s finger in. The pressure Gray exerted on his digit had Luke remembering what it felt like to have the man’s mouth wrapped around him and he instantly changed the level of tension he was applying to Gray’s dick. A hiss escaped from Gray’s mouth as he released Luke’s finger and Luke nearly cried out at the feel of Gray’s dick thickening in his mouth. Luke kept up the torment and used his finger to find Gray’s opening once more. Gray’s saliva eased the way and as soon as his finger pushed past the outer muscle trying to deny Luke’s entry, Gray’s dick swelled even more.

“Luke!” Gray called out and another glance up showed he had Gray’s complete attention.

Luke pulled his finger back out and then pressed it in again until he was in as far as he could go. Gray began to alternate between pushing up into his mouth and trying to bear down even farther onto his finger. Luke stroked over Gray’s inner walls until he found the bundle of nerves he was looking for. Gray actually shouted at the contact and then he began thrusting heavily into Luke’s mouth as his cock hardened to the point that Luke could no longer keep him fully in his mouth without gagging. Luke made sure to strike Gray’s prostate over and over again with his finger as he continued sucking on Gray, and Luke’s own lust was so intense that he began humping his hips into the bed. A sudden curse erupted from Gray’s mouth and then he was jerking against Luke uncontrollably and while there was no fluid to accompany Gray’s orgasm, the feel of his dick pulsing inside of Luke’s mouth had Luke’s own body responding and he swallowed the moan that erupted as he came.