Galaxy Patrol (5 page)

‘Octopuses, centipedes … we take many shapes and forms. But we all belong to worlds that are technologically far in advance of Earth. For us to land on your planet would be disastrous. It would not only cause havoc, but far worse, it would contaminate the time line.'

I'd heard about the time line. I wasn't quite sure what it was, but I knew it was very important not to contaminate it.

‘You see,' said the captain, ‘we are actually part of the future.'

Yesss
! I punched the air, exultantly. Now I understood.

Rosie, obviously, still didn't.

‘So, if you're from the future,' she said, ‘why not just put things right and then move on?'

Shocked, I said, ‘'Cos people from the future mustn't ever interfere with the past! It's one of the rules.'

‘It's why we have to recruit local agents,' explained the captain. ‘It's why we've recruited you. Or hope to recruit you. We've had you under observation for some while. Jake, because he's eager to find out as much as he can about space travel.' I swelled, importantly. ‘We always watch out for those who show an interest.'

‘
I
didn't show any interest,' said Rosie.

‘No, but you are quick to learn. You are very much the type we like to recruit.'

Pardon me???

‘You ask questions, you demand answers, you don't let anyone push you around. Plus, of course, we are aware that you have already looked death in the face.'

Oh, please! Not that again. I was sick of hearing how Rosie had looked death in the face. All it was, she'd read this book where a kid climbed out of the bedroom window and slid down the drainpipe, so she thought she'd try doing it, too, only she went and got stuck halfway down and was there for nearly an hour before she was discovered. Dad had to get a ladder and rescue her. She'd been on about it ever since. How she'd looked death in the face.

‘And didn't panic!'

Rosie smirked.

‘I won't pretend,' said the captain, ‘that the mission would be without danger. These bugs are vicious, and they move at great speed. You would need to move at even greater speed. It would be a question of dislodging the creature from the Queen, then zapping it before it could attack one of you. I can give you no guarantee that this would not happen. I can only assure you that if it did we would take immediate action. We would not abandon you to your fate.'

There was a bit of a pause, while I wondered what exactly our fate would be. I shot a glance at Rosie.

‘Yeah. Well! Yeah.' She bounced on her marshmallow. ‘OK, then!'

What did she mean,
OK then
?

‘Let's go for it!'

Really
? I stared at her, gobsmacked.

‘Jake?' said the captain. ‘How about you?'

‘Oh, he'll do it,' said Rosie. ‘He's been waiting for something like this for years.'

It was true, I had; but I didn't see what right she had to speak for me. She has this really annoying habit of just taking over.

‘So, what's the plan?' she said.

‘The plan,' said the captain, ‘is that we send you back home and you wait for us to contact you. Probably in the next twenty-four hours. Earth hours, that is.'

Rosie nodded. ‘OK.'

‘Got it,' I said, feeling it was time I re-entered the conversation.

‘I'd better let you have a communicator. Jake, here, you take it.'

A com badge. He'd actually given me a com badge!

‘I would just ask you not to use it unless you're in trouble. I know I can trust you.' I swallowed, and nodded. Rosie curled her lip. ‘As soon as you hear from us, expect to be beamed up and given your instructions. In the meantime – '

‘I know!' Rosie zipped a finger across her mouth. ‘Say nothing to anyone. My lips are sealed!'

‘No need for that,' said the captain. ‘Feel free to say whatever you like! The very reason we use children as our agents is that no one ever believes them. Try telling your mum and dad you've been abducted by aliens … what do you think they're likely to do?'

‘Yeah, right,' said Rosie. ‘I see what you mean.'

‘They do have these stories in the papers,' I said. ‘People being abducted.'

‘Yes.' The captain frowned. ‘That's because we made the mistake, in the past, of using adults. It took us a while to realise that children were far better, from a security point of view.'

‘Not that it really matters,' said Rosie. ‘No one actually believes in aliens … only nutters!'

‘Guess what?' said Rosie. ‘I've just had the weirdest dream! I dreamt we'd been abducted by aliens.' It obviously embarrassed her. ‘
Me
!' She gave this little titter, to show how ridiculous it was. ‘Dreaming about aliens! Can you imagine?'

I said, ‘I don't have to imagine. I was there.'

‘I know you were there! I just told you … they abducted
us
. In a spaceship! That's what comes of trying to do my homework while you're watching that rubbish.' She waved a hand at the television, where
Star Trek
was still going on – right at the point where we'd left it. ‘There was this thing,' said Rosie, ‘like an octopus – '

‘Ensign Gork.'

‘What?' She looked at me, eyes narrowed.

‘Ensign Gork. That's what he was called.'

‘How do you know what he was called?'

‘'Cos I was there,' I reminded her.

‘In my dream!
My
dream.' Rosie stabbed a
finger at herself. ‘Not your dream:
my
dream. People can't share dreams!'

‘So how come I know his name?'

She pursed her lips, trying to think up an answer.

‘And how come…' I slid my hand into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out something small and round and silver. ‘How come I've got this?'

Rosie stared. It was the com badge the captain had given me. Rosie had seen him do it. How was she going to wriggle out of that one?

For a moment I thought she was going to admit, just for once, that I was right and she was wrong. But Rosie never gives in without a fight.

‘You don't think it actually
works
?' she said, scornfully. ‘Probably some kind of stupid toy.'

‘Doesn't explain how it got in my pocket.'

She chewed at her lip. ‘See what happens if you press the button.'

‘No, I can't. You heard the captain … we're not to use it unless we're in trouble.'

‘Who's he to go giving orders? Him and his aliens…
Queen's got a bug
!' Rosie gave one of her uncouth cackles. ‘Pardon me while I die laughing!'

‘Look at the time,' I said.

‘Why?' She shot a quick glance at the clock. ‘What's that got to do with anything?'

‘The captain told us it'd stand still.'

‘Clock's obviously stopped.'

‘The clock hasn't stopped,' I said. ‘Time is what stopped.' I couldn't expect her to understand. ‘Temporal mechanics are extremely complicated. You'd know, if you watched
Star Trek
. Time can do almost anything. Go backwards, go forwards. Go fast, go slow. Did you know, for instance, that if you travelled far enough into space you could come back to Earth only a few months older than when you left, while everyone else would have grown old and died?'

‘Oh, you'd swallow any old rubbish!' said Rosie.

‘OK.' I waved the com badge at her. ‘So what's your explanation? Are you telling me you don't believe what just happened?'

Rosie hooked her hair behind her ears. ‘Obviously
something
happened. It's a question of what. Probably some kind of … government experiment. Something to do with carbon emissions. A new kind of transport!' She
pounced on the idea, triumphantly. ‘They're going to get rid of cars and planes and all those stinky things that are manking up the planet and we're all going to whiz around in beams of light. But obviously it's top secret, they're still trying it out.
That's
why they're using kids! 'Cos like they said, nobody'd believe us.'

I gazed at her, doubtfully. Could she be right?

‘The government wouldn't abduct
children
,' I said.

‘Governments'd do anything,' said Rosie.

‘But what about Ensign Gork? How'd they get someone to look like an octopus?'

‘Easy! They do it all the time in movies.'

‘But what would be the point?'

‘Put you off the scent. Make you think there's aliens.'

‘There
are
aliens. Except,' I remembered, ‘it's not polite to call them that.'

‘
He
did.'

‘If you mean the captain – '

‘Captain!' Rosie snorted. ‘Government agent, more like.'

‘If he was a government agent,' I said, ‘he ought to know better. If he was the captain…' Which he was. I knew he was! ‘Well, he's
allowed to say it, 'cos he is one.'

‘One what?'

‘Alien. Different life form! It's like people with red hair can call themselves Carrots if they want, but not anyone else.'

‘Who says?'

‘It's a known fact,' I said. ‘It's rude. Might hurt their feelings. Like you calling me Elephant Ears.'

‘You
are
Elephant Ears.'

‘Yeah, well, in that case you're the Blob!'

‘Oh, shut up,' snapped Rosie. ‘I've had enough interruption for one evening.' She went back to her laptop, fiercely clacking and clattering and frowning at the screen. ‘Wonder if the newspapers'd be interested? Might pay us something –
SCHOOLCHILDREN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!
'

‘Thought you said it was government agents?'

‘Yeah, but that doesn't sound so good,' said Rosie. ‘Anyway, they probably wouldn't be allowed to print it. Not if it's the government. Might come and take us away.'

‘But we haven't
done
anything,' I said.

‘So what? Wouldn't stop them liquidating us.'

Liquidating
… the word rolled round my
brain. I had visions of me and Rosie being stuffed headfirst into giant food processors and coming out the other end as juice.

‘Like oranges,' I said.

‘What?'

‘Being liquidated.'

‘That's liquid
ised
! Liquidating means bumping off. Tied into sacks and dumped over the side of a boat, most like. Either that, or chucked off the top of a tower block … squish! Then you
would
be liquidised!'

For some reason, she seemed to find this amusing. She has a very odd sense of humour.

‘I still reckon it was aliens,' I said. I'd given up calling them
dfferent life forms
. It was too much trouble, and Rosie took no notice anyway. ‘Stands to reason we can't be the only things in the universe.'

‘Yeah, way to go,' said Rosie.

Whatever that was supposed to mean. She doesn't always make sense.

It was at this moment that Mum came in. ‘Rosie, I've told you before,' she said. ‘If you're doing homework, you should be up in your room. How can you possibly concentrate with the television on?'

‘It's not the television that bothers me,' said Rosie, ‘it's being abducted.' She looked up boldly at Mum. ‘By government agents,' she said.

‘Or aliens,' I said.

‘Whatever.' Rosie waved a hand. ‘We've only just got back.'

‘Right. Good try!' said Mum. ‘But I wouldn't make that excuse to your teachers, if I were you.'

‘No, 'cos they wouldn't believe me,' said Rosie.

‘Just get on with it,' said Mum. ‘Either go upstairs, or you, Jake, turn that television off.'

‘OK.' I zapped it with the remote. I couldn't concentrate on
Star Trek
any more; not now I'd been in contact with the real thing. ‘Mum, d'you remember,' I said, ‘when the Queen had to cancel her engagements?'

‘Vaguely,' said Mum. ‘She had the flu.'

‘That's what they
said
,' said Rosie. ‘D'you want to hear the truth? Truth is, she was sitting in bed playing computer games.'

‘Well, good for her,' said Mum. ‘Keeping up with modern technology.'

‘She was also eating chicken nuggets,' said Rosie.

I waited with interest to hear Mum's response. Me and Rosie aren't allowed to eat chicken nuggets. But if the
Queen
could eat them…

‘Don't push your luck,' said Mum. ‘And just get on with that homework. I want it finished by the time your dad gets in.'

Mum left the room. Me and Rosie exchanged glances. Rosie gave me the thumbs up. Mum hadn't believed a single word we'd said.

I stayed awake half the night, waiting for a message to come through from the captain. I wasn't exactly
expecting
it, in the middle of the night, but I wanted to be ready when the call came. I hid the com badge under my pillow, where Mum's prying eyes couldn't see it. She has this nasty habit of bursting into my room in the morning, all bright and breezy, yanking back the curtains and tugging at the duvet and shrieking at me to
get up, get up
! I didn't want her zeroing in and asking awkward questions.