Growing Up Brady: I Was a Teenage Greg, Special Collector's Edition (39 page)

EPISODE 23: "LOST LOCKET, FOUND LOCKET"

The first of our many `Jan's depressed" episodes. This time it's
about being an overlooked, underloved middle sibling. But just
when things appear blackest for the gal, an unknown admirer
sends her a little gold locket on a little gold chain. He also sends
her spirits soaring.

It isn't long, before Jan's in the dumps again (you don't think
she was manic-depressive, do you?). Now, she's lost her new locket, and she's mad at the world. Anyway, with sleuth-like detective
work she refinds the locket, (it had fallen out the bedroom window as she stargazed). Her mood-swings back toward happy again,
and in the end she finds out that her secret admirer was really ...
Alice.

Alice explains she too grew up as a middle sister, knew exactly
how bad Jan was feeling, and decided to give her the locket just so
she could feel "special." Awwwwwwww.

The real Brady
house.
(Paramount
Pictures)

WRITER: Charles Hoffman

DIRECTOR: Norman Abbott

• The Brady house that you see in every episode really does
exist. It's in California's San Fernando Valley, but there's no
upstairs window. That was just a prop, hammered onto the house,
prior to shooting. When it came time to shoot "A Very Brady
Christmas" the bogus window frame was nailed into place, and
filmed once more.

EPISODE 24: "THE POSSIBLE DREAM"

This is iti-the grand high exalted corny ruler of Brady camp! If
you're looking to bust Brady chops, you've come to the right episode.

Dopey little Cindy has accidentally given Marcia's treasured
diary to the (gulp/) Friends-In-Need Book Drive! And even worse,
inside of that diary, Marcia's just spilled the lurid truth that her
"dream of dreams is to someday be Mrs. Desi Arnaz, Jr." gasp!
Needless to say, Marcia's just gonna die if they can't relocate her
lost journal.

The Brady forces split up, scouring every single bookstore in
town, and the results are futile, until ... we return to the Brady living room, where Marcia gets a visit from-Desi ArnazJr.! Seems
that Alice knows Lucy's housekeeper (oooh!), and she finagled the
meeting to cheer Marcia up. Implausible, corny, goofy, and really,
really funny. A true kitsch classic.

WRITERS: Al Schwartz and Bill Freedman

DIRECTOR: Oscar Rudolph

EPISODE 25: "GOING, GOING ... STEADY"

The second Marcia-filled Brady classic in a row. This time, our
most babe-ish Brady is out to capture the elusive Harvey Klinger, 4eyed collector of bugs. Her strategy? Learn all about the disgusting
little six-legged (but protein-rich) invertebrates, dazzle him with
her knowledge, then pounce. Harvey arrives, takes the bait, and
Marcia's plan works like a charm. Soon the two pubescent bug
hunters are going steady.

WRITER: David P. Harmon

DIRECTOR: Oscar Rudolph

EPISODE 26: "THE DROPOUT"

We swung into our second season with an episode, which featured the Bradys' second Los Angeles Dodger houseguest. This
time around, Mike is designing a new house for Dodger pitching
great Don Drysdale, and casually mentions to the all-star hurler
that his son Greg would really be thrilled to meet him. Immediately (as happens only in the reality of sitcoms), Drysdale pays a visit to the Brady house, gets a look at Greg's nasty curve ball, and
makes the well-intentioned, but large mistake of telling the kid
that with a little practice, he just might be a Dodger himself someday.

Me and Don
Drysdale.
(©1991 Capital
Cities/ABC, Inc.)

That does it. Greg tells Mike and Carol that he's going to drop
out of school and become a hugely successful major leaguer. Nearcoronaries ensue, but the Brady parents can't get Greg to change
his mind.

Re-enter Don Drysdale. He and Greg toss around the of apple
while Don gives Greg the inside scoop on the extra-tough life of a
pro baseball player-a plot twist that would be impossible nowadays. He yammers endlessly about the minor leagues, their broken-down buses, bad food, and bad hotels (leaving out the part
about the poker, the booze, and the readily available bimbos).
Anyway, after the speech, and a twelve-run Little League shellacking to boot, stubborn Greg finally decides to ease up on the baseball practice and stay in school.

Judging from Roger Clemens's wallet size, that was probably a
real bad decision!

WRITERS: Bill Freedman and Ben Gershman

DIRECTOR: Peter Baldwin

EPISODE 27: "THE BABYSITTERS"

When Mike and Carol can't find a sitter, Greg and Marcia volunteer to baby-sit the younger, punier, weaker Bradys. Mike and
Carol give the plan a less than enthusiastic okay and head out for
an evening at the theater.

However, once the parents are out of the house, the littlest
Bradys rebel against the authority of their peers, launch a mini-revolution, and end up hating Greg and Marcia's guts. Meanwhile,
over at the theater, Mike and Carol are so worried about the kids
that they can't enjoy the play, and end up coming home early.

WRITER: Bruce Howard

DIRECTOR: Oscar Rudolph

•With all the running around in this episode, you get a pretty
good look at how the Brady set was physically laid out. Basically, all
the "downstairs" rooms, garage, driveway, front door, and backyard were indeed connected, and laid out together just as they
appeared on TV, while the upstairs rooms (and later the attic)
were housed in another area of the soundstage.

EPISODE 28: "THE TREASURE OF SIERRA
AVENUE"

The boys pick up a football and head out of the Brady backyard
(probably to avoid playing on Astroturf) to play ball in the street.
The pigskin flies, but when Bobby muffs a long fly pattern, he
drops the ball but picks up something much more exciting. It's a
wallet, crammed full of money-eleven hundred dollars.

Bobby's rich ... at least until all the other Brady kids start sticking their hands into his pockets. One by one, everybody wants a
cut and Bobby goes from rich to a little better off. Still, he's thrilled
with his newfound (yet dwindling) fortune.

Enter a fossilish old geezer named Mr. Stoner. He's the guy who
lost the money, and when he launches into a melodramatic songand-dance sob story about how the wallet contained his life savings
and an "I thank God for honest people like you" schtick, Bobby
reluctantly returns the wrinkled coot's cash.

But ya know, he's still "a little better off" just for helping another human being.

WRITERS: Gwen Bagni and Paul Dubov

DIRECTOR: Oscar Rudolph

EPISODE 29: "THE UN-UNDERGROUND MOVIE"

The Pilgrim episode! I love this one! We had a great time shooting the thing, and it's actually kind of funny, too.

Greg's thrown himself into directing that super-8 super-cinematic masterpiece Our Pilgrim Fathers, and every Brady gets a
part. Mike and Carol play John Smith and Priscilla Alden, and Alice
makes a nifty (but effeminate) Governor John Carver.

The kids fight like-kids, over everything; the shooting is chaotic; but when the dust settles, the movie's a smash (watch for the
capsizing Mayflower in the Brady bathtub), and smiles abound
once more.

This is definitely among my favorite "Brady Bunch"es.

WRITER: Albert E. Lewin

DIRECTOR: Jack Arnold

-As an aside: you'll notice that the Brady kids' bathroom has a
sink, a tub, mirrors, but no toilet. I guess we kids really were supposed to be "immaculate."

EPISODE 30: "THE SLUMBER CAPER"

Now here's an episode that seems to be tattooed onto the
brains of most Brady fanatics.

1. Marcia wants to throw her first-ever slumber party.

2. The boys hate the idea.

3. Mike and Carol okay the party, but then ...

4. Marcia gets into trouble at school when her teacher, Mrs.
Denton, takes one look at Marcia's art project and sees the
words "Mrs. Denton ... a Hippopotamus" scrawled under a
picture of what looks like a hippo.

5. Marcia says that she never wrote any caption on her drawing, and that it wasn't a hippo at all. She claims that she was
simply trying to sketch George Washington, and that a classmate must've seen her inept work and written the caption as
a gag.

6. Marcia's principal's not laughing, and he doesn't buy her
story. She gets after-school detention for a week!

7. Party's canceled.

8. Marcia swears she's innocent, tells her sob story to Mike, and
he believes that as farfetched as it may sound, Marcia's telling
the truth.

9. Party's back on!

10. See number 2.

11. Marcia comes to the conclusion that her pal jenny was the
twisted caption creator and quickly yanks her name off the
invite list.

12. The boys decide not to take this slumber business lying
down.

13. Later that night, they start the chaos rolling by dressing like
ghouls and terrorizing the gals.

14. Next, they haul out the coup de gras ... itching powder in
the sleeping bags. The stuff works, and the house is soon
buzzing with itchy/screamy/wiggly girls (sorta like a "G" rated
Hefs place)!

15. The boys crack up big-time.

16. Marcia's pal Paula chooses this particularly raucous occasion
to make small talk and fesses up about writing that caption.

17. Red-faced, and having learned a lesson about jumping to
conclusions, Marcia quickly reinvites her blackballed pal,
Jenny.

18. Everybody smiles and hugs ... again.

WRITER: Tam Spiva

DIRECTOR: Oscar Rudolph

'Nepotism Alert 1! Robert Reed's daughter, Carolyn appears in
this episode as Marcia's pal Karen.

*Nepotism Alert 2! Florence Henderson's daughter Barbara
Bernstein plays Ruthie.

•Nepotism Alert 3! Sherwood Schwartz's daughter Hope makes
her first of several appearances on the show. This time she's playing Jenny, but she'd later spend three episodes appearing as
Greg's girlfriend Rachel.

•E. G. Marshall and Robert Reed, who starred together in "The
Defenders," are reunited in this episode. Marshall shows up in the
small, rather inconsequential part of Marcia's principal, crabby old
Mr. Randolph.