Healing Faith (18 page)

"I do not know as well. Our ways are much different I
know. You are correct; there are rules and it will take time to
learn them. I would like to show you our ways, if that is what you
would like. I would like to know more of your world, so that I may
understand you. But we must abide by the law," he whispered, his
eyes thoughtful as he watched my reaction.

He was saying he wanted something. Wanted me.

"So what next?" I asked, feeling the blush creep
along my neck as his thumb returned to brushing across my knuckles.
Just his touch was certainly taboo, right? It felt entirely too
good to be right.

"I shall take you home," he said, his eyes sparkling
at the mention of home.

"And then?" I asked, my smile breaking out across my
face.

"And then I would request Elder Jonah to allow me to
see you again.”

His thumb skirted across my hand a little faster,
excited.

"And then?"

He brought my hand up to his lips, kissing my
knuckles lightly before smiling down into my eyes.

"And then perhaps I would like to steal a kiss under
the moonlight, Kate. If you would allow me," he said and offered me
a smile that made my insides melt.

I squeezed his hand in mine, eager to find out more
about this man.

We travelled back in silence, my hand in his, each of
us deep in thought of what was to come. And for the first time in a
long time, I felt truly safe. Whatever laws we had to abide by, I
was excited to learn.

I'd learn his ways.

I'd learn and find my place in his world.

Nathan held my hand all the way back to the Bergers.
When we turned onto the long drive to the house, he squeezed it as
if in promise of returning to it when he could before his hand
slipped from my grasp. It was sunset when we finally came to a
stop, in front of my new home. He carefully helped me down from the
buggy and released me quickly into the arms of Fannie and Jonah,
back from their duties and worried for their newest charge. Our
bruises alarmed them, but Nathan promised to relay the story before
supper, insisting that I needed a few moments.

By a few moments, I was sure he meant to get some
clothes on. He refused to look my way as I stood there, half
clothed by his standards. I was ushered into the house by Fannie
and Emma, Jonah staying with Nathan outside. Leaving me to change
in the bedroom I looked out the window and down to find Jonah
patting Nathan's shoulder softly, nodding as if in serious
conversation. Nathan was shaking his head, taking the familiar
black hat off to scrub at his hair roughly. He hung his head for a
moment, Jonah taking Nathan by the shoulder towards the house, his
head turned in to speak softly.

A knock on the door drew me from the window. Opening
the door, I was startled to see Hannah there in the doorway, a new
dress in her hands. She offered it to me, her gaze taking in the
cut along my hairline before she shook her head and looked me in
the eye, the same look I had seen in the garden. Her voice was
unnaturally soft when she spoke.

"I took in the length of the dress for you. I can
show you how to do this if you like, Katherine.”

"I would like that, Hannah. Thank you," I murmured,
unsure how to respond to her.

"I would of course help you make another pie for
tomorrow night, if you would allow me," she suggested. I laughed
nervously, drawing her eyes up to me in confusion. My emotions were
a little raw.

"I would like that very much. Maybe we can make
dinner together tomorrow?" I asked, watching as she looked at me
cautiously for a moment before nodding, her face still troubled.
She lingered at the door a moment before her hand came up to touch
my bruises along my arm gently. I couldn’t help the flinch.

"No one should be allowed to do this. Too many fall
victim, I am sorry you are hurt," she said, her voice strangely
distant.

Before I could respond, she excused herself and left
me there alone. I stood in the doorway for a long moment,
contemplating what had just happened with Hannah's sudden warming.
I was left feeling more confused than ever.

Jonah ushered me into the front room of the house
when I had changed, Fannie lighting several lamps near a chair that
sat near the front window. Jonah motioned for me to sit, turning to
his bag that sat on the table nearby. I sat hesitantly with my
hands folded in my lap and watched as he turned and paused beside
me, pursing his lips towards the dark corner of the room. I
followed his gaze and noticed Nathan standing in the shadow, his
body hunched slightly as he watched me. His arms were folded up
around himself, one hand rubbing at the side of his head
worriedly.

"Nathan," Jonah sighed. "Just a few minutes alone if
you would."

Nathan's eyes darted to mine, unreadable in the
half-light, but I could tell by his tight lips that he was worried.
He nodded, scrubbing at his neck before slipping through the door,
watching me until the door closed him off to me. I swallowed at the
sudden separation, not realizing just how much Nathan's presence
comforted me after my altercation with Sean.

I could feel it significantly as Fannie and Jonah
regarded me carefully.

Was I in trouble?

For running away? For putting Nathan in harm’s
way?

Was Nathan in trouble for hurting Sean?

I waited while Jonah circled me slowly, taking in my
appearance and sighing softly.

"Katherine," he said softly.

Finding the courage to look up, I was caught off
guard by the amount of concern etched on his face, but also the
fact that he refused to look me in the eye.

"Katherine, I need to ask you questions. Questions we
do not typically ask. I have spoken with Nathan, he has told me of
your English boyfriend and the violence he inflicted upon you," he
said quietly, standing very still before me.

I concentrated my focus on my hands, at the bruises
that were darkening along my wrists. I took a startled breath when
he squatted down before me, his hands gently hovering over
mine.

"May I look to your injuries, Katherine?" he
whispered quietly.

I swallowed and extended my arms out to him slowly,
struggling at slow measured breaths as his hands ghosted over my
wrists. Jonah's fingers were cool and gentle as they traced and
pressed at the bones. I winced slightly at the tenderness, but
remained quiet as he frowned and moved on towards the bruises up my
arms. Fannie stood beside me with her hand beside my head, tucking
back the stray hairs from my bun as if to distract both of us from
his exploration. It was when Jonah moved up to my face that his
eyes finally caught mine fully. The kind face was back in place,
but examining me saddened his normally vibrant eyes.

He waited until I could nod to let him continue and
then traced his fingertips over the tender spot on my forehead,
where I had hit the car door.

"This will need cleaning, but I do not think stitches
are needed. It is not as deep as Nathan feared. Does it hurt?" he
asked.

"No more than I am used to," I whispered, my voice
trembling slightly.

I heard Fannie's harsh exhale.

"Do you hurt elsewhere, Katherine? Anywhere that I
cannot see in the moment?" Jonah asked, the meaning coming through
strongly.

They thought the worst. I shook my head, embarrassed
at his words. How was it that a stranger such as Jonah worried
about my health, but my father could not see?

"He did not touch you, Katherine?" Fannie
whispered.

"Only to get me in the car. Nathan was there before
anything could happen," I said, looking up into her eyes and
pausing at her tortured gaze.

"So only bumps and bruises, then? I will want to
watch you this evening, with the bump on your head," Jonah stated
and stood to go to his bag again.

He handed Fannie a cloth and a bottle of something
that smelled like rubbing alcohol. She took it and he stepped out
of the room, letting Fannie take care of my cuts in private. She
was quiet while she worked, her hand light as she wiped away the
dirt and blood I had not known was caked on my forehead. No doubt I
looked much worse than I actually was.

For once I was glad for no mirrors in the house. I
didn't need to be reminded of the damage Sean could produce, and
judging by the soiled rag, I was a mess. Nathan must have been
worried. He had seemed so brave in the buggy.

"Is Nathan all right?" I asked my voice a little loud
in the quiet room.

Fannie smiled as she worked.

"He is well. Jonah saw to his wounds while we
discussed what happened. He was more worried about you than
himself. He wanted Jonah to look to you first, but it was best that
you changed," she said as she worked.

"It wasn't his fault,” I said hurriedly, trying to
explain Nathan's actions. “Sean's all right. Nathan was just trying
to get to me."

Fannie smiled down at me and pressed her palm against
my cheek in comfort.

"I know, Katherine. Do not worry. Nathan is not in
any trouble. It is done and past us now," she whispered.

She was quiet for a moment, changing to a balm that
she swiped across my forehead before returning to clean my jaw.

"Would you like to tell me why you left, Katherine?"
she asked quietly.

I frowned and shrugged, embarrassed to tell her how I
had tempted Nathan, and scared him into fleeing from me.

"I thought maybe it was best if I left," I replied
quietly.

“Even after our talk this morning?” she asked and I
could hear the hurt in her voice.

“I wasn’t sure if I had made the right choice to
stay.”

"And did you get in contact with your sister?"

I nodded and looked down at my hands.

"And what does she say? Or your father? He must know
where you are, if the boy knows."

I remained quiet as she pushed my hair back and
cleaned up around my neck. What would I say? Even they thought
perhaps that my father was the reason why Sean could find me.

"I have never understood how a parent can turn their
heart from their own flesh and blood," she whispered and placed her
hand against my chin, tilting it up so that she could look down
into my eyes.

Fannie looked at me much as a doting mother would and
I had to wonder why she and Jonah didn’t have more children running
around, as was the Amish way. She seemed suited for having enough
love for an entire town. She smiled and cleared her throat, nodding
as if having made a private decision. She moved away and closed up
her husband's bag. When she turned around once more, she was all
determination.

"Let us go and see what the girls have prepared for
supper, my daughter. I am sure it will be something to remember,"
she said and held me around the shoulder as we walked down the
hallway.

We stepped into the kitchen, all eyes turning towards
us when we entered. I caught sight of Nathan immediately, his hair
a damp mess as if he had just cleaned up and tried to comb it with
his fingers. He smiled in relief before glancing away to listen to
Mark who was speaking softly to him from the table. Mark looked my
way for a moment, pausing in his conversation, before turning back
to Nathan, nudging Nathan slightly to draw his attention from me.
Jonah nodded and offered his wife a knowing look before settling
into his seat at the head of the table to watch his daughters busy
themselves in the kitchen.

I lingered in the doorway for only a second, weighing
my next move. Did I sit, or did I help out with serving the meal?
Feeling more comfortable with Emma and Fannie, I busied myself with
pulling out the plates for the table. I could feel Nathan's eyes on
me as I moved around the table, until finally Mark spoke up in his
loud booming voice.

"Have you heard nothing I have said, Nathan!" he
exclaimed, causing me to jump and Nathan's head to jerk back
towards Mark, his face bright red.

Mark let out a chortling sort of laughter and shook
his head. Jonah cleared his throat and looked at the boys as if to
admonish them.

"That will be enough of that, Mark. These two have
been through enough today. We do not need to make them feel more
uncomfortable," Jonah said, fighting a smile as I set his plate
with shaking hands.

I glanced at Nathan on my way back to the safety of
the kitchen, and caught his soft smile as he regarded me. Not a
look of fear. Not a feeling of the need to flee. Perhaps this would
be easier than I thought. Judging by the way little Abigail hugged
me and continued to smile at Nathan, I thought that maybe we would
have some support in the family.

Dinner was a quiet affair, even with Mark seated
across from me. I was a little intimidated by Mark, if I was being
honest. He watched me throughout supper, his playful eyes staring
right through me. And as if I was not nervous enough by his
attention, Nathan sat across from me as well and tried his best not
to look up at me. Every time he did, his mouth would turn up
slightly and he would quickly look away again.

Hannah was the most talkative one of the bunch, which
was most peculiar. She and Fannie spoke of the upcoming wedding. At
mention of the wedding, Mark would shift in his seat and smile
endearingly towards his future wife, who would pretend to scowl and
ignore him. Emma was the only one who did not speak at all
throughout the meal. I looked over at her a few times, but couldn't
read her mood as she picked at her meal and kept her eyes on her
plate.

Maybe I had been knocked on the head a little harder
than I thought. Everyone seemed a little off. Even Jonah seemed to
smile more when he would catch Nathan looking my way.

I must have suffered a concussion.

The men ventured out to the porch while we cleaned
up. I was setting the last plate into the cabinet when Fannie and
Hannah, who had been chattering on about menus for the wedding
reception grew quiet. I looked around to see why it was silent when
I caught sight of Nathan from the doorway. He cleared his throat
and held his hat a little tighter to his chest.