Keeping Secrets (14 page)

“I'm saying that you had a plan and we gon' stick to it.”

Secret's eyes widened. Was Lucky saying what she thought he was saying?

“We gon' finish what you started. Only now I guess I'm in on it too. As far as anybody is concerned, that's my baby you carrying.”

“Lucky,” Secret said, finally able to exhale. She buried her face in her hands as tears poured out. “I don't know what I ever did in life to deserve this. To deserve you,” Secret's muffled voice stated.

“Don't go making it seem like I'm some saint or something. I'm far from that.” Lucky shook his head thinking about his past and some of the awful things he'd done. “I wasn't able to save a lot of my homies. In some cases I was probably the downfall of a couple of 'em. So maybe with this here baby it's like God is giving me another chance to save somebody. And, I promise, I won't fuck this one up.” He removed Secret's hand from her face. “Don't cry,” he told her as he took his index finger and caught one of her falling tears. “Daddy's here.” He knelt down and kissed her pregnant stomach. “Daddy's here.”

“Girl, if I had been there I would have straight pulled that nigga's thug card,” Shawndiece teased as she and Secret talked on the phone.

Secret had just gotten back home and settled from her night with Lucky in the hotel suite. She had spent the last few minutes relaying to Shawndiece everything that had gone down.

“Girl, it was so sweet. I thought he was going to cry,” Secret said.

“‘When Thugs Cry,' ha, that's gon' be my new anthem for that nigga. I swear if we ever out and around his boys, I'm gon' clown his ass good.” Shawndiece was cracking herself up.

“Well, you can file that under never. I've never even heard Lucky mention any of his friends' names, let alone meet any of them.”

“Word?” Shawndiece was now in serious mode.

“Yeah.” This was something Secret hadn't really thought about until now.

“What about his family, his moms or anybody?”

“He did mention his mom and dad once; the fact that they were drug addicts and in jail or something like that.”

“Oh, well, the story of a thug.” Shawndiece sighed. “But still, I know with the type of business he's in, he got at least one or two flunkies or sidekicks.”

“Like you know what Lucky does for a living.”

“Like you don't,” Shawndiece shot back. “Girl, don't try to play naïve and stupid. The fact that you haven't straight-out asked that nigga exactly what he does for a living and the fact that he hasn't straight out told you speaks volumes. But you playing your cards right by not asking. The less you know, the better. Which is probably why you've never met any of his boys. You different, Secret. I've always told you that. Lucky can see it too. He knows better than to taint you with the cats he rolls with. You ain't about that life. It would be like mixing oil and water. You wouldn't fit in and his boys would clown him for even fucking with somebody like you. Or they'd think he was plain stupid and getting played.”

“Why, is that what you think about him?” Secret decided to finally interrupt Shawndiece and speak.

“Well, uh . . .” It was far from usual for Shawndiece to ever be at a loss for words. “I mean, no, because you my girl and I know your heart. I know you really didn't want to go into this to trap old boy out of malice or to just be stank. That's what God put me on this earth for.” Shawndiece let out a chuckle in which Secret joined her subconsciously. “But for real, I saw how you was feeling Lucky from the moment you met him. You had every intention of calling him up. After all, your initial intentions were to get rid of the baby, so it wasn't like you were going to get with dude thinking a baby would be in your future.”

Secret loved the fact that Shawndiece was lifting some of the thoughts that had been burdening Secret about being with Lucky. She couldn't help if he wondered or doubted her wanting to be with him because of who he was and not what he could do for her and her baby. Hopefully he could see down to her heart just like Shawndiece and know that she really liked and cared about him.

“You watching an episode of
Scandal
you done recorded or something? Because you sho'nuff is ignoring the fuck out of me,” Shawndiece barked through the phone.

“Oh, huh, what?” Secret said, snapping out of her thoughts.

“Nothing, girl. I'm gon' let you go. Bitch tired as hell. My cousin Rah-Rah wanted this expensive-ass sew-in weave that had my black ass up until the wee hours in the morning finishing up. And I was s'posed to hook up with Paco tonight but I'ma have to call him and postpone. You know a bitch tired if she passing up getting her pussy ate right and a shot at that new Michael Kors bag from Macy's.”

“Girl, bye,” Secret said, hanging up the phone in Shawndiece's ear, never amazed by what came out of that girl's mouth.

Secret let out a yawn, too. She was tired as well, as she should have been from making love to Lucky all night. She decided to lay it down for a nap. Her ringing cell phone woke her up out of her sleep two hours later.

“Hello,” Secret answered groggily.

“What's up with my baby mama?” Lucky spoke.

“Oh, hey, Lucky.” Secret stretched. “What's up?”

“Nothing, just handling some business. You sound tired.”

“I was taking a nap.”

“Oh, my bad, I didn't mean to wake you up.”

“It's okay.”

“Well, I ain't gon' keep you. I just wanted to let you know that I dropped a li'l somethin'-somethin' in your bank account. You was acting all shy and crazy about me seeing your naked body all last night.”

“'Cause I got that baby bump now.” Secret touched her belly.

“Girl, I told you nobody can't even tell you're pregnant. But since you think you getting all big, I put some money in your bank account so you can go shopping for some bigger clothes.”

“Awww, baby, thank you.” Secret smiled. This type of thing didn't even surprise her coming from Lucky. He was just that kind of guy who never had to ask or guess at what she wanted or needed. He just knew.

“No problem. Well, go on and lie back down. I'll holler.”

“All right. Thanks again.”

Secret ended the call and then lay back down. She closed her eyes but then they popped back open after only a few seconds. “Who can sleep when there's shopping to do?” She laughed and hopped up out of the bed. She went to the bathroom, washed her face, and brushed her teeth. She put on eyeliner, lip liner, and lip gloss. She wasn't that big on makeup, but Shawndiece insisted she do a little something to remove herself from Plain Jane status. She was actually going to call Shawndiece to see if she wanted to roll with her, but remembered Shawndiece saying how tired she was. She was not trying to get cursed out by calling and waking her up. Secret got herself together and went shopping by herself.

After two hours of nonstop shopping, Secret had worked up an appetite. She decided to go the Chinese restaurant located in the strip mall. Although she didn't feel like dining in, she figured she would go inside to place a to-go order.

With a couple shopping bags in hand, Secret made it to her car and added them to the collection that was already forming in the trunk. She was a few stores down from the restaurant so she got in her car to drive over. While heading toward the restaurant she saw a male figure enter the restaurant. She was still quite a few feet away, but she'd know her baby daddy anywhere.

“Perhaps I will dine in.” Secret smiled as she began her search for a parking spot. While driving down one aisle, Secret saw Lucky's car parked in the lot, more confirmation that the man she saw entering the restaurant was him.

After finding a spot Secret got out of the car and started walking toward the restaurant. The parking lot had been pretty full so she had to park farther away than she would have liked. As she got closer to the restaurant, she saw another gentleman coming from the opposite direction, looking as if he was headed toward the restaurant too. Secret fell back a little bit, realizing she and the man were going to arrive at the door at the same time. She'd allow him to be the gentleman and go first, hopefully opening the door for her.

The closer Secret made it to the restaurant, the more excited she was about her chance impromptu meeting with her baby daddy. She just hoped she was able to catch him before he ordered carry-out so that they could dine in together.

With a huge grin on her face, Secret was prepared to enter the restaurant. The kind gentleman was, in fact, standing at the door, holding it open for Secret.

“You coming in here?” he asked as Secret made it just one foot from the door.

Secret, for the first time, actually made eye contact with the guy. Upon doing so, she couldn't speak. She just shook her head no to his inquiry and kept walking. She picked up her pace, practically running. Her breaths became deep and long to the point where it was like she couldn't remember how to exhale. She just kept walking. She had no idea where she was walking to; she just knew where she was walking from.

When Secret decided she was going to go into the restaurant and have a sit-down meal with her baby daddy, she had no idea she was going to actually run into him. But she had. She'd recognize that face anywhere. The man who stood there holding the door for her was the man from the alley that night. The memory of that night came flooding back to her. Shame filled her being. Standing before her was the man she'd paid her father's debt with her body. The man who took her virginity. The man who she was now pregnant by. Yes, it was true; Secret had definitely just run into her baby daddy . . . her real baby daddy!

“What up, pa'tna?” Major Pain said after spotting Lucky over at a table by the window in the Chinese restaurant he and Lucky had agreed to meet up at.

“Nothing,” Lucky said, staring out of the window with a confused look on his face. “I thought I just saw somebody I knew walking by.”

“That shit must be going around, 'cause I thought I just saw a familiar face as well. Some chick I hit a couple months back as a pay off from some geeker.” Major Pain sat down. “Although I wouldn't mind hitting that shit again. Running up in her felt like the first time I'd ever run up in some pussy in my life. All brand new and shit.” He grabbed his manhood up under the table. “Make a nigga wanna go out there and chase her ass down just thinking about it.” He laughed. “Bitch probably wouldn't give me the time a day. She didn't seem like all these other hoes we be fucking wit'.”

“Enough talk about old pussy. Let's talk about new business,” Lucky said. He looked at his watch. “By the way, you late, nigga.”

“Man, fuck you. I know you ain't talking shit. The same nigga who is like the fuckin' black James Bond nowadays. One minute you here and one minute you there and shit.” Major Pain picked up a menu and began to scan it. “Anyway, what's up?”

“Motherfucker! I done caught up with yo' black ass now. You can run, nigga, but you sho' the fuck can't hide.”

Lucky closed his eyes and put his head down at the sound of the distant familiar voice that was getting closer until it was right up on him.

“What up, Kat? You lookin' your regular hood-fabulous, loud-ass ghetto self today,” Major said once Kat approached the table.

“Fuck you, Major. Don't fuck with me,” Kat spat. She slammed her hands into her hips and then turned to face Lucky. “Really, Lucky, it's like that?”

“Oh shit.” Lucky washed his hands down his face. He had a look on his face as if he'd just remembered something he'd neglected to do.

“Yeah, that's right, motherfucker. You was supposed to hook up with me yesterday.” She began making quotation marks in the air and mimicking Lucky. “I got something special planned for you. I know I been fuckin' up, but just let me make it up to you.” Kat slammed her hands down on the table causing those patrons who had tried to play it off and ignore her rant to give their table their full attention.

“Come on now, Kat. You see a brotha taking care of business here.” He extended his hands in the direction of Major Pain.

“Business, business, business,” Kat mocked. “That's always your excuse. For years you've been playing me like some dumb-ass ho. Well not anymore, Lucky. This is the last motherfuckin' time you will ever . . .”

Kat went on and on and on nonstop. Her voice was giving Lucky a headache. He just wanted her to stop. He wanted her to go away so he could handle his business at hand with Major Pain. The more Kat talked, the more aggravated he got. But she was on a roll. There was no stopping her. She wasn't coming up for air. Lucky tried to find a place to jump in, but Kat wouldn't allow him to get a word in edgewise. Finally he just snapped.

“Look, ho, you know what it is. You ain't new to this shit so stop acting brand new. Now get the fuck out of here embarrassing yourself and me.”

Kat was taken aback. Sure Lucky had talked mad shit to her in the past. She'd taken it just as good as she'd given it. But there was something about his tone this time that told her things had changed, and not for her good.

“Ohhhh, I get it,” Kat said as if coming to a revelation. “You real brand new. I mean for real, coming at me like that, you acting real brand new right now. And there's only two things that make a nigga get all brand new. That's either new money or new pussy. And since money ain't a thang to you, it must be new pussy. Is that what it is? Some bitch got your nose wide open?”

Lucky didn't deny it. He just looked away. When he saw that Major Pain was staring at him, waiting on him to respond, he tried to play it off by sucking his teeth and shooing his hand. “This bitch crazy,” he hissed.

“Crazy for always being there whenever you've wanted or needed me.” Tears formed in Kat's eyes, which shocked the hell out of Lucky. He'd seen Kat cry before, but usually it was out of anger. Usually she was mad because he had her in a bear hug or something to keep her from swinging on him. She'd be angry that she couldn't lay hands on him. She'd get over it and then afterward they'd have good old-fashioned makeup sex. But this time Kat's tears were different. They weren't tears of anger. They were tears of pain, and something told Lucky there would be no chance of makeup sex . . . ever.

“I can't even believe I actually really cared about yo' ass,” Kat said as a tear spilled from her eyes. She tried to wipe it real quick, but it was too late. She'd actually allowed Lucky to see her shed a tear over him.

“Like I said, you know what it is. Now me and my boy here need to talk.” And just like that, Lucky dismissed her. His ride or die chick. His bottom bitch. His down-ass chick. It was done and over with. Lucky could just tell, so there wasn't no need in him trying to make nice and promising her a purse, pair of shoes, or tennis bracelet. He had to admit, pre-Secret he probably would have entertained Kat's rant, given her some money to go shopping, and then hooked up and fucked the shit out of her later that night. But now he felt he didn't need to. As far as he was concerned, he'd found him someone to add to his circle that would be genuinely down for him no matter what he did or didn't have to offer.

“So that's all you have to say to me?” Kat said in disbelief that Lucky was so quick to send her on her way. When Lucky, once again, let his silence do his talking, Kat let out a “Fuck you!”

Before anyone could stop her, Kat had picked up one of the cups of the complimentary tea the restaurant provided and splashed it on Lucky. Fortunately for him, it had been sitting there long enough to cool off so it didn't scorch him or anything. Unfortunately for Kat, it still pissed Lucky the fuck off. So much so that he jumped up, his hands in position to snatch Kat up by the throat. Major Pain was just as quick and able to get in between the two. By that time the manager, who had been off to the side watching the showdown, finally got the balls to come interfere.

“You no fight in here,” the Chinese man squawked. “You leave now or I call police.” He was directing his words to Kat as he took her by the arm. He knew better than to throw his regular, paying, high-tipping customers, Lucky and Major Pain, out of the restaurant. Their regular business meetings over lunch damn near kept the lights on in the joint. But Kat he had no problem kicking to the curb. Literally.

“Get the fuck off of me,” Kat spat to the manager, snatching her arm from his grip.

The manager didn't use his hands, but his body to kind of push and escort Kat toward the exit door. She screamed and hollered the entire way.

“You're dead to me,” Kat screamed and pointed at Lucky as the manager kept using his body weight to push her toward the door. “I don't even know your name anymore. You don't even deserve for your name to come out of my mouth anymore. For now on, I'm just gon' refer to you as L. Not for Lucky, but for Loser, you son of a bitch. I swear to God I will never say your fuckin' name again. I never knew you. This is the last time I'ma ever let you play me for a fool. You're dead to me, L. Dead!” That was the last thing Kat spat out just as the manager pitched her out on the sidewalk and closed the door.

Lucky wasn't even embarrassed that he'd just been caught up in such an outburst. He was used to this type of drama, damn near immune to it. Lucky picked up the other cup of the complimentary tea the restaurant served. With his pinky in the air as he took a sip he looked at Major Pain and then said, “Back to business. Now where were we?”