Libera Me (14 page)

“Let me go, Zane. Please. You must let me go.”

The site of her stops my breath. The air grows heavier as I swallow back the torment radiating from the apparition in front of me.

“Please release me from this place.”

I can’t refuse her; can’t allow her to suffer because of me.

Maybe Gabriel is right, maybe I need to let her go.

Maybe Caim is right and she has a life now, a life with Aydan.

Maybe my presence causes the pain I feel in her.

A dark smoke forms behind the apparition of Nesy. It comes as a wave, encircling her. Consuming her.

“No!” The word starts in the back of my throat, dying before it can escape.

No.

Nesy disappears in the funnel of smoke. Tears flow down my face as her body fades into nothing.  

“Goodbye,” I whisper, choking back a sob. “Goodbye Nesayiel.”

My body doubles over in pain as new emotions wash over me.

Obsession.

Terror.

And rage. So much rage.

Help me Cass. Zane. Someone. Help me.

Aydan’s voice fills my thoughts.

The Beast is here. Alive.

I can’t move, paralyzed by the emotions that will not abate.

Nesy’s in danger, mortal danger. From me…

Something in me snaps and I’m on my feet, forging a portal toward the voice before I can think. The vortex opens. I step in and the space collapses around me.

The spinning does not stop as it should.

There is no other side, no path to Aydan’s door as I expect.

Instead, I’m trapped in a twirling darkness that has no end.

“Stop,” I say aloud, the emptiness engulfing my words before they become sound. “Stop!”

Laughter replaces the emptiness. It’s familiar, threatening, and can only mean one thing—the demonic smoke has found me.

“Zanethios, we meet again,” it says.

“What do you want?” I have no time for these games.

“I want you to uphold your bargain.”

“I’ve already given you my memories.”

“That was only one part of our agreement. You also promised not to interfere in her life.”

“I never—”

“Oh, but you did. The minute you allowed me to take your sight, the minute you let me into your mind, you gave up your claim to her. She is no longer any of your concern.”

“I won’t let you hurt her.”

The laughter grows, vibrating through the still spinning darkness. “Hurt her? Why would I hurt her? I need her.”

“Need?”

“Return to Celestium, Zanethios of the Mediators, and be a good little angel. I would hate to have to force the issue.”

“You have no dominion over me.”

“True. But if you continue with this interference I will have to call off our bargain. Then you will learn just how much dominion I have.”

The vortex squeezes in around me. My wings crush against my body. My arms pin against me as I struggle to breathe. I open my mouth to speak, only to have the speed of the vortex slam it shut. My mind closes in on itself as everything grows even darker.

“Nes…” I manage to force out.

The sound dies around me.

Emptiness replaces everything.

And I continue to spin.

Chapter 20 – INFERNO

Aydan

My apartment is quiet. Almost too quiet. I know I shouldn’t have left school, but after Caim’s little visit, I couldn’t stay. I need time and distance to figure out how my life has managed to spin so out of control.

Caim.

     
—Can I trust you?

Nessa.

     
—Are you my enemy?

Azza.

     
—Are you here?

My head spins with the answers to the questions that refuse to abate, answers I’m unwilling to hear. Answers Caim, Celestium, believes.

Caim.

His presence unnerves me. He said Nessa was the danger, not me. Is she the reason the Beast grows? Is she the siren?

My stomach tosses as the puzzle pieces float through me, the moments of fear and anguish. The nightmares and visions.

Hers.

Mine.

No!
I refuse to accept this truth coiling around me. Nessa is my love. Nothing more; nothing less.

I pace, waiting for Nessa to arrive. I told her I was sent home and she promised to come.

I need her to, soon. I need to hold her, reaffirm what we mean to each other.  

Time passes too slowly. My mind crowds with words and images too horrible to admit. Distortions of life filled with misery. The Beast, claiming too many souls. Azza, placing too many demands.

And Nesy, saving me from myself.

My pulse quickens as the memories of that time twist inside, a kaleidoscope of emotions I must ignore.

If I can.

A soft knocking releases the images threatening to undo me.

“Aydan. It’s me.”

Nessa
.

At last.

A smile tugs at my lips as I open the door. Pulling her into a hard embrace, I taste her lips. I need to feel her body next to mine, desperate to prove she’s real. Our love, real.

After a moment she pulls away, breathless. “What was that for?” she asks, her voice quivering.

I kiss her again, inhaling her essence.  The smoky scent lingers on her skin. I forge a trail of kisses down her jaw, bathing in the smoke, unable—unwilling—to stop.

She pushes away again, and the distance is unbearable. “Slow down. I’m not going anywhere.”

I know I should comply, but every heartbeat spent away from her increases my lust, sending it to unfathomable heights.

I pull her into the house, and kick the door closed.

“How are you feeling?” she asks.

“Better now.” The words come out in a garbled mess.

I can barely think, her presence overwhelming my mind.

I kiss her again.

 And again

I can’t control my urgency.

The more of her I taste, the more I need to consume her.

All of her.

She pulls back, pushing her hands against my chest.

Stop!

I release a slight growl as I turn away.

“Why the rush?” she whispers, too close.

“It’s…it’s…”

There are no words to describe the desire coursing through my veins, so unlike anything I’ve ever felt. My body shudders. I have to move away from her while I can.

“Nothing,” I say, walking to the kitchen.

She comes up behind me, slipping her arms around my waist.

Don’t you know what you’re doing to me?

“It’s okay,” she says. “I want you too.”

I spin her around and trace my thumb along her throat and jaw. Her eyes, Nesy’s eyes, reach into my core. I cover her mouth in a ravenous kiss.

The sweet taste of her flows into the depths of me and I need more.

So much more.

My throat aches as I inhale more of her with every taste of her lips.

She pushes against my shoulders.

Stop!

The voice is far away. Meaningless.

Aydan. Stop!

I take more and more, filling a need so deep, so profound, that nothing else matters. Not this sham of a life I’m living, trapped in human flesh, nor the empty game of pretend I play with Nesy.

Nesy.

Oh no!

My brain screams as she continues to pound against me.
Stop, Aydan. Stop.

Her eyes open and I hesitate, noting the fear lodged in their depths. Taking advantage of my weakness, she pulls away.

But I can’t let her go.

I won’t.

I need her too much, need the life she breathes through me with her lips.

I soften my grasp.

“I’m sorry,” I say through gritted teeth. “I guess I got carried away.”

“No, it’s okay. Really.” Her face flushes, her expression shifting again from fear to lust. “Let’s just slow down a little.” Her voice is ragged and breathless.

And it drives me wild.

“Okay,” I whisper as I nibble her neck.

My marks flare to life, my focus narrowing to a single thought.

Her soul.

I take her mouth, extracting the nectar of her essence.

She squirms and pushes against me.

But I’m too strong; my need to great.

     
Help me, Mikayel. I can’t stop. Help me.

The words come from someplace forgotten.

     
Gabriel. Sariel.
Interveni.

Someplace unwelcome.

     
Zanethios. Cassiel. Please. For Nesy.

Her pounding fists have no impact. I tighten my grasp around her waist and continue to taste her flesh, her lips,

Her soul.

Chapter 21 – Deliverance

Zane

Nesy!

She’s all I can think about as my body closes in on itself.

Nesy.

A sliver of light cracks the corner of my mind, illuminating a small space. I blink once and the silver fades and returns. Another ray of light cracks the other side of my vision. The world around me slowly begins to brighten.

I am empty, drained. Nothing feels connected.

Not my body or my thoughts.

Not my past or my present

Nothing.

I simply am.

Is this death?

A hand touches my brow, orienting me to a time and place. There is a familiarity in the feel of the hand on my face. I breathe it in and I know I’m not dead. Not yet.

“That’s right, Zane. You’re not dead. Though, I’m pretty tempted to kill you right now.”

Cass. Here.

I blink once, twice. The fog clears from my vision.

Celestium.

My chambers.

I’m home, somehow.

I strain to prop my body onto one elbow. “How did I get here?”

I’m not certain the words actually form on my tongue. Cass continues to brush my brow, pushing a necessary calm into my heart.

“The Council found you,” she says. “They brought you here.”

“Found me?”

“Yes. You were in Purgatorio. The wasteland.”

“Wait, what? How did—?”

“I was going to ask you that same question. What do you remember?”

I think back, forcing the memories to surface. “We met with Caim. I left.” The memories float back to me in muddled hues. “I saw a vision of Nesy.”

“Nesy?”

“Yes. She asked me to let go of her.” My voice cracks, the vision still overwhelming.

“And then?”

Silence stretches between us as I try to recall the next events.

“What happened next, Zane?” Cass asks again.

“I heard something. A plea…I don’t know, Cass. Nothing’s clear.” A heavy sigh escapes my mouth.

“There’s more,” Cass says as she furrows her brow and closes her eyes.

“Yes, but…I can’t…I don’t…” My mind implodes. Apprehension tightens my arms, my chest and I can scarcely breathe.

Cass pushes into my heart, weaving through my emotions. Searching.

Memories tease up. The conversation with Caim. With Nesy. The vision of the smoke. A plea on the wind.

At once my mind cracks open and more images rush forward.

Aydan kisses Nessa, breathless. She pushes him away. He leaves. She pursues.

Again they kiss and my heart breaks.

She pulls away. He traps her and pushes her against the wall. She squirms as he kisses her and the color drains from her face.

His face changes, as does his kiss. He tastes her soul.

“No!” we say in unison.

Cass grabs my hand and forges open a door to Aydan’s bedroom. “Come on,” she says, pushing me into the swirling space once more.

I’m sorry, Nesy. I’m so sorry
. The phrase repeats as we swirl into the darkness, horrific visions still splay across my thoughts.

Nessa pounding against Aydan’s chest.

He pulls her tighter, bruising her arms.

She screams…

Endlessly.

Chapter 22 – CONFUTATIS

Aydan

Nesy’s soul flows into my mouth, nourishing me. Every drop ignites a feral need I can no longer ignore.

Stop! Stop stop stop.

I push aside my thoughts, unable to think of anything but the Beast urging me forward.

Sulfur and ash fill my senses, churning a maelstrom through me. A few more moments and she will be emptied.

Dead.

The world spins to a halt.

Nesy…dead.

My eyes snap open.

The color drains from Nessa’s face as her pounding on my chest weakens. Shivers cascade down my spine. She opens her eyes.

Horror paints every contour, shattering me.

Release her.

I pull back. Hesitate.

Nessa’s eyes dart from side to side. Horror is replaced by rage as she opens her mouth.

Screams.

The sound splits the night air, slapping me out of my trance.

Take her.

      —
No. Never.

Consume her now.

      —
Not my Nesy.

Obey me.

      —
I won’t.

A war wages through me.

Nessa gives me a strong shove and I stumble back. Her face is contorted with a primal anguish that splits me in two. She runs for the kitchen and grabs a knife. Turning toward me, she slashes the space between us, the knife swinging in precision movements.

“
Ego damnare re ad Infernum
. Get thee to the Abyss,” she screams.

The knife scrapes hot across my chest, slicing through my shirt. My skin.

I growl, the monster inside pushing to attack.

“
Daemonium.”
She launches another assault, narrowly missing my neck.

I grab her arms, unable to control the Beast from retaliating.

Stop!

The words are meaningless. Her screams, meaningless. I shove her against the wall, ready to end her life.

End mine.

I force a kiss as she struggles against my hold. She bites my lip and I pull back. The room begins to rattle. Shake.