Libera Me (13 page)

Students fade as I continue to walk. I grab the walls, my legs beginning to give way.

“Stop,” I whisper.

Demons begin to climb out of the walls.

The monster in me surges to life.

The dark creatures circle me, their beaks clicking and claws snapping the space near my face.

Feed.

The thought ensnares my senses, tickling the back of my throat.

My mouth waters as the need to feast grows, eclipsing every part of me.

“Stop,” I again whisper.

More demons invade the space.

No thoughts exist other than the need to rip the soul from someone—anyone.

Honor your oath.

A sound pulls my attention and I turn. Nessa smiles as she meets my gaze.

“No!”

The scene swirls to life.

Demons and humans weave through the hall, filling the once-empty spaces.

Nessa opens her arms to embrace me.

And the Beast commands to be obeyed.

My hands shake.

My heart pounds against my ribs.

I close my eyes, sliding down the wall.

I can’t shut out the sounds, the scents, the hunger.

And I must.

Now.

“Aydan!”

Her feet click on the linoleum as she comes closer. And closer.

No, Nessa. Stay away.

“Aydan. What’s wrong?”

I don’t dare open my eyes.

The Beast surges through me, urging me to hunt.

But I can’t. I won’t.

I swallow hard, forcing back a need that won’t abate.

“Stop,” I whisper again. “Make it stop.”

“Make what stop?” Nessa is too close, her vanilla and smokish scent driving me crazy with lust.

“Please. Help me.” My voice trembles.

“I’m right here. What can I do?”

My pulse fills my ears, muffling the sound of her voice. I feel her soul pulling on mine, reaching for me.

“Man! You okay?” Abe’s voice breaks the trance, focusing my thoughts away from the Beast. “I knew I should have forced you to get checked out by a doctor or something.”

He yanks me up as I open my eyes.

The walls no longer move. Nothing but students crowd the space, looking at me.

“What do you mean ‘checked out’? Aydan?”

“You should have seen it. He crashed his bike. Bad.”

“Aydan!” Nessa reaches out for me and my heart pounds.

“I’m fine. I’m fine,” I say as I pull out of her grasp. “Just a little shaky.”

“A little? Aydan, I watched you collapse. You’re going to the nurse. Right now.”

“I’m with her. You need to get checked out proper this time.”

I stare at them both, my mind clearing. Whatever’s happening to me, I doubt the school nurse will have any answers.

“I’ll take him,” Abe says to Nessa. “Make sure he gets there okay.”

Nessa furrows her brow as her lips turn into a frown.

I don’t know how much I can trust myself around her right now.

“It’s okay. Abe will take me. You go on to class. I’ll find you at lunch.”

“Are you sure,” her voice speaks the apprehension I feel.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Go.”

“Text me later, okay. I worry about you.” Nessa turns as the bell rings.

“Let’s go,” Abe says, nodding toward the nurse’s office.

My skin erupts in gooseflesh as we walk down the now-deserted hallway.

The trip to the nurse is uneventful. My pulse no longer races. My throat no longer burns. I am fine. Completely fine.

“You guys can both go back to class now,” the woman behind the desk tells us as she scribbles a note. “Maybe get a little more sleep in the future Mr. Johnson.”

“Yes Ma’am,” I say.

If only this was about sleep.

Abe grabs my arm as we leave the office. “Come on,” he says, nodding toward the door. “Let’s get out of here.”

Questions swarm my thoughts.

“Now,” Abe says again, his voice cold and insistent. “Before something else happens.”

What does he know?

I plant my feet, refusing to take another step.

“Come on,” he pleads, scrutinizing the hallway. “I’ll tell you everything when we’re out of here.”

“Fine,” I acquiesce. Answers are more important than school.

We walk to the student parking lot. The sun beats down on us as a light breeze ruffles the air. Abe stops at my bike and his façade changes, his body stiffens.

“What happened back there? Before?” he asks, his tone more stoic. “And don’t tell me nothing. I need to know exactly what you saw. Heard.”

I clench my jaw. “Who are you?”

“What happened?” he asks again.

“Nothing.”

“Liar.” Abe releases a strangled breath. “Look, I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s happening.”

“And what makes you think I need help?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you nearly killed someone you supposedly love.” Abe balls his hands into fists.

“I’m not saying anything until I know who you are.”

Abe squares his shoulders and releases a deep sigh. He closes his eyes and his hair grows into black curls that frame his face. He body lengthens, his skin grows more pale. Two crimson wings unfurl from his back, extending six feet behind him. The sun catches on the delicate feathers, casting a blood-red hue on the pavement.

He opens his eyes. No longer amber, they reflect an emerald green that is unworldly.

My mouth hangs open as the words, the questions, turn to dust in my throat.

“I am Caimael. A Guardian.”

“The Council?”

“Yes, they sent me. I came to investigate the girl. Protect her.”

“From what?”

“You, possibly.”

I want to protest, deny any world in which Nessa would ever need to fear me. But our history screams another truth and I remain silent.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think
you
are the real threat.”

I shake my head in protest. I nearly killed her already. Obviously, I’m a problem.

“Aydan, listen to me. When did you first feel the Beast stir again? When did you start to journal your fears?”

Forever.

“You mean, after the first months?” I ask.

“Yes, after you became acclimated.”

I think back to the early days, the pain and heartache. My life was so dark then. Then Nessa came and everything felt reborn.

I scroll through the time together, trying to pinpoint the first moment I felt the desire to take a soul.

“I don’t know,” I say, not ready to admit my fears.

“After Nessa appeared in your class?”

“Yes,” I respond.

“After you told her she was Nesy?”

“Yes,” I say again.

“And the nightmares, they came back once you two started dating, yes?”

No!

“Don’t you see? You are not the threat, Aydan. She is.”

“No. I won’t accept that. Nesy would never—”

“And if she’s not Nesy?”

Not Nesy.
The phrase lingers too long in the air, fueling a doubt deep within.

“She is.”

“Aydan, look. I was sent to protect you both. But based on my observations, you are the one in danger. Not her. So, I’m here to do that. Protect you.”

“I don’t want your protection. Don’t need it.”

“Again, I’ll remind you that you nearly died. And you nearly killed. Those are not acts committed by someone who does not need protection.”

I turn away, his words searing into my soul.

“Zane,” I whisper.

“What about the Mediator?”

“He and Nesy were friends. He’d know—”

“He is not part of this case.”

I spin around, my hands in fists at my side. “If Zane tells me that Nessa is not Nesy, then I’ll listen. Got it?”

“You’re a fool,” Caimael says.

“He’s the only one I’ll trust. Get him to tell me Nessa’s the problem and you can protect me all you want.”

“A fool,” he says again as he fades in nothing.

Chapter 19 – Purgatorio

Zane

Caimael waits for me on the hill overlooking Aydan's house and the school. His ruby tinged wings glisten in the bright sun, casting a blood-red glow on our surroundings. It’s an ominous look, something more suited for Azza’s realm. Not Celestium.

I walk up the familiar path. A cool breeze flirts with my skin as I reach the crest.

“Why am I here, Mediator? I’m not a dog for you to summon whenever you distrust me.” Caim is stoic in both appearance and expression. Even his wings are hard against the wind.

“If I summoned you every time I distrusted you, Caim, you’d never leave.” 

Caim places a hand on his sword and I reach for mine.

Stop,
Cass says in my thoughts as she materializes next to me.
Relax. I’ve got this.

I clench my jaw and nod slightly. My frustration doesn’t dissipate with her presence, nor my apprehension.

“Caim, we are only here to check on things. On Nesy. She was our friend for a long time.”

“And you must understand she is not Celestium’s anymore.”

Cass’s hand tightens around my arm before I can respond.

“And you must understand that our orders are clear. She’s not to be harmed, regardless of what she is.”

Cass’s jaw is stiff as she closes her mouth. She’s stronger than I ever thought possible. I can’t help but wish that Nesy could be here to see it.

Cass stares at Caim, her eyes fierce. I know she’s rifling through his thoughts, pulling what he knows. His expression changes from detached to soft. He’s ours.

“Now,” she says. “What information do you have for us?”

“Nothing interesting. She’s human. They’re both…human.” Caim spit out the words, coating them in disdain.

“And the smoke?” I ask. “Have you sensed its presence?”

“No. There’s nothing here. I’m afraid you’ve been wasting your time.”

“And her sight? Has she been able to see you? Sense your presence?” Cass again pins him with her gaze.

“Not that I could tell.”

I look to Cass and she nods.

Is he telling the truth?

“What about Aydan?” I ask. “Is he...more than human?”

“No. Just another scared boy chasing demons.” Caim releases a frustrated breath. “Like you.”

I take a step towards him, stopped by Cass.

“You’re chasing shadows, Zane; seeing things that aren’t there. These are two humans caught in the throes of their humanity. Nothing more.”

I open my mouth to respond, but the words won’t form.

“There is no evil here. No demons waiting to strike. Now, report this to the Council so I can go home.”

I don’t believe him.

Again Cass keeps me from attacking.

“Thank you Caim,” she says as she holds me back. “We’ll report your findings and the Council will decide what to do.”

Caim fades before she finishes her words.

“What are you doing? Why are you letting him go?” I say, struggling against her hold.

“Zane, you heard him. She’s not in danger. She’s not a threat.”

“And you believe him?” I yank my arm free and begin to pace.

“Not completely. But for now, it’s better if he thinks we do.”

I know she’s right. But I also know things aren’t right. “Cass?”

“Yes?”

“Do you sense anything…different here?”

She closes her eyes and breathes deeply. “No,” she says after a moment. “Nothing. Why?”

“I don’t know. For a moment it felt…changed somehow.”

“Changed?”

I focus on my senses:

The light scent of ash in the air.

The difference in the weight of the air that surrounds us.

The slight wave-like motion of the trees.

Things are as they should be. And different.

“Never mind,” I say as I turn away.

“Where are you going?” she calls.

The silence screams my need for solitude. So many thoughts to decipher, so much noise in my head.

Be careful,
she whispers through my heart.
You’re not safe here. Remember that.

I don’t think any of us are safe.

I follow a path into the forest, my mind riddled. Confused. None of the last days’ events add up.

What am I missing?

I replay the encounters with the smoke and Caim. The conversations with the Council and Cass. The moments with Nesy.

There’s nothing I’ve forgotten, nothing to explain the sense of foreboding I can’t seem to shake, no matter how much I try.

The sun dips low, painting the sky in dusky hues. The breeze sends a soft chill across my skin as I attempt to center my thoughts.

Let go, Zanethios. It is the only answer. Let go.

Gabriel’s voice is clear and for a moment I am unsure if it exists in my head or if he is with me even now.  

Let go, Mediator
.

Part of me wants him here, needs him to help me do what I know I should.

The path opens to a calm meadow dotted with flowers nearly dried out from the early summer sun. I sit and close my eyes, breathing in the scents dancing around me. Lilac, oddly still in bloom, pine and sunshine. I allow the fragrances to calm me as I sort out what to do.

The voice of my master again fills my thoughts and I know he and Cass are right. I need to let go of my attachments to Nesy.

How can I?

Nesy comes to my thoughts. Followed by the images of Infernum and the smoke. It surrounds me, engulfs me. I breathe it in and it chases away the fragrance of this place and replaces it with the bitter acrid scent of burning wood and flesh.

The smoke consumes my pictures of Nesy, eating away the last fragments of her in my mind. I cling, refusing to let go of everything.

The smoke grows black. Thick.

“You must let go, lest it destroys you.”

The voice is everywhere at once. The Mediator in me urges my compliance, but my heart will not listen. I can’t lose her again. I won’t. She’s still in danger. She still needs me.

I still need her.

“Let go, Zane.” Her voice surprises me. “For me.” My eyes pop open, revealing a golden angel in the distance.

Nesy.

Her face is etched with a sadness that rips me in two. Chains clamp around her arms, and her wings lay broken at her sides. Her body is riddled with the markings of battle and her hair is matted with strips of dried silver blood.