Life on the Ramona Coaster (12 page)

The best part of the trip to St. John the year before was that I had rekindled my friendship with Sonja. We’ve known each other for thirty years and she always puts a smile on my face. Her positivity and zest for life always help to diffuse all the crazy situations we Housewives get into. Sonja is a woman who enjoys life and has had the best that life offers. When she came on the show she was like a breath of fresh air, so I went into Season 4 feeling energized and excited. Unfortunately, it turned out to be one of the most difficult seasons for me.

I had been looking forward to filming with Cindy Barshop, who I had recommended bringing onto the show. We had really good energy before we started filming, but once we were on camera she seemed to have all this animosity towards me. Meanwhile, with Bethenny now off the show, I felt like Jill came gunning for me. It was horrible. She seemed jealous that I was showcasing my Pinot Grigio and I felt that she was trying to make me look like I have a drinking problem. Television is a powerful medium and if a lie is repeated often enough people will start to believe it. I felt like the more she accused me of having a drinking problem, the more viewers believed her. For the record: I do not have a drinking problem nor have I ever struggled with addiction of any kind. I am an adult, I work hard and play hard, but I know my limits and I am never out of control. You rarely see Jill drinking on the show and I’ve heard that the reason for this is that she has had problems with substance abuse in the past. I have always respected her privacy, so for her to publicly accuse of me of having a drinking problem, which is not true, was very upsetting to me.

It all came to a head at Jill’s charity event to raise awareness of bullying, which is ironic since I felt as if I was the one being bullied. When ladies go to a charity luncheon and pay $200 a ticket, they expect a glass of wine with their meal. Jill’s assistant had asked me to donate some of my Pinot as there was no wine donor for the luncheon. I couldn’t sponsor the event because I had a very limited supply in from Italy at that time, but I wanted to help. I carried a heavy, twelve-bottle case of wine in heels over to the event through the pouring rain, but somehow my gesture was completely misinterpreted. In that episode you see me drinking, but they kept showing me with the same glass. It looks like I was drinking more than I was. Jill criticized me on the show for drinking a glass of wine at noon, but meanwhile she was serving these heavy-duty vodka martinis at the same lunch. I think the real reason she came after me that season was that she was resentful that I had come out with another product and she didn’t have one. I had my HSN Jewelry, the TrueFaithJewelry.com line, I had my skincare line, and now I was debuting my Ramona Pinot Grigio. I think she just couldn’t be supportive. I call it
Jillousy
. I started to feel like she had decided to make me her punching bag and that she was trying to turn all the girls against me.

Morocco, Season 4

Meanwhile, I wasn’t getting along with the head producer in the field. We were like oil and water. He was the type of man who I felt just didn’t like powerful women. I have a strong voice and I refuse to apologize for it. He and I would butt heads all the time. I felt that he didn’t like the connection between Sonja and I and that he wanted to pit us against one another. I reached my breaking point during the trip to Morocco. I felt that the psychic who claimed Mario was cheating on me was a setup. I can’t begin to speculate who was behind it, but I don’t believe she was a real psychic. Mario and I had just renewed our vows the year before and at that point our relationship was totally on track. Then, when Jill and I had our big fight, I just fell apart. I actually remember saying to the producer, “You broke me. Are you happy? You broke me.” I have always had a very strong spirit, but after the strain of that season I felt broken. I was miserable to the point where I almost told them I wasn’t going to do the show the following season. I couldn’t be myself around him. They were supposed to get a new producer for Season 5, but they didn’t so I asked not to have him around when I was filming because he gave me negative energy.

Real Housewives riding camels!

Ramonja in Morocco

That year I threw myself into my businesses. In April of 2011, I was honored as Entrepreneur of the Year by the Women’s Venture Fund and the following November I was named “Mogul of the Year” at the Stevie Awards for Women in Business. I was doing the skincare line, I was doing HSN, I was doing True Faith, I still had RMS Fashions, I was creating a Merlot, and I was traveling all over the country doing signings for Ramona Pinot Grigio. I was working too much and spreading myself too thin. I remember carrying around five different plastic folders, in different colors, one for each business to keep everything straight. On top of all that I still had to be a mother to Avery, a wife to Mario, and maintain my two homes. I was killing myself, working nonstop. Looking back, I think I was hiding in my businesses because it kept me detached from my emotional state and from the people around me. Some people go after drugs, sex, or, alcohol. For me, diving into business after business was a way to avoid getting close to people and to keep them at arm’s length. I was beginning to see that my business ambitions were impacting how I dealt with my personal relationships.

When you take on too much, something has to give. My True Renewal skincare line was a fabulous product. It will literally change your skin in four weeks, but because I was doing so many things I didn’t have time to market it. I also took my eye off the HSN line. In business you have to be hands-on, but at that point I was traveling so much for my Pinot Grigio that I wasn’t paying enough attention to how my jewelry was being priced. I had an assistant, but I was trying to do it all because I’m a take-charge person. For my initial line the average piece was retailing for $300, but by the end, out of fifteen pieces, ten were priced at $1,000-plus. When we were developing the line, I kept asking about the prices but I remember the buyer would tell me not to worry about it. So I just looked at the sketches they had produced from photos of pieces I had shown them and picked the ones that I liked. Then all of a sudden I had a product line ready to go on air that the average piece was priced so high it wasn’t going to sell. The bottom line is, I should never have approved anything unless I knew the price first. Even
I
wouldn’t pay a thousand dollars for my own jewelry and I’m in the top 1% of wealth. The philosophy behind the line was that the jewelry looked like it was worth thousands but only cost hundreds, but once I took my eye off the ball, my product line suffered. The truth is, you can’t do it all. That’s what I was learning.

In the fall of 2012, I finally hit the wall. I had been on the road, traveling for Ramona Pinot Grigio twenty-five times a year. It burned me out. I got very sick and it turned into a very important wake-up call. I was already filming the Reunion episode for Season 5 and I went on a day trip to Columbus, Ohio. When I came back to New York, I went shopping for a dress with my girlfriend at an upscale boutique on Madison Avenue. I was so exhausted that I had to lie down on the store’s couch. You know me, I’m Miss Energy, so this was a serious red flag. My girlfriend said to me, “Ramona, you need to see a doctor. Something isn’t right with you.”

I went to the doctor and when she asked me to shut my eyes, I lost my equilibrium and collapsed. Fortunately, the doctor caught me before I hit the floor. I was diagnosed with vertigo and an acute inner ear infection. For the next three months, I had such bad vertigo that I could barely function. I couldn’t concentrate enough to read a book or write. I could barely even think straight. I was a mess. I took steroids for three months and by Christmas I was starting to get better, but then one night I started to feel strange again. I was in the bathroom and when Mario walked in, I said to him, “I don’t feel right.” I shut my eyes to see if I would fall, just as I did at the doctor’s office. I should’ve held on to something, because I collapsed and banged my head on the hard marble floor, just barely missing the bathtub. That brought it all back again. That’s when I finally realized that I needed to take a step back, calm down, and regroup. Eventually I did get better, but I’m still sensitive to loud noises and once in a blue moon I still get slight vertigo.

After I got sick, I realized that the way I had been living was absurd. Every week I was on a plane going somewhere to do a signing. My health was seriously at risk and my husband was beginning to feel neglected. I decided not to travel for the Pinot Grigio anymore. I spent more time with Mario and focused on helping Avery prepare to go away to college. At that time she had been accepted early decision to Emory University in Atlanta and Michigan State University. Getting a child in New York City into a college costs a small fortune. Between ACTs and SATs, you can spend as much on tutors as you do for private school. It’s insane. Helping her get through the application process and decide where she wanted to go was stressful enough.

I did one more HSN show after I got sick, but that was it. I can always go back to it at some point in the future, but I realized that I had already accomplished so much. What more did I need to prove? Yes, I love working. I truly am an entrepreneur at heart. I’d rather make money than go to a girls’ lunch. I get more pleasure out of making a business deal than I do from buying a new piece of jewelry. But I had reached a point where it had turned into escapism. Some people hide in drugs, alcohol, or sex. I was escaping into my work. I became irritable and impatient because I was on overload. I’d wake up in the middle of the night and start answering emails or jotting down ideas. I was running five businesses and two homes, planning vacations, being social, working with Avery to get her into a top college, entertaining, going out, having dinner parties, and planning Christmases and Easters—all while filming a reality television show for six straight seasons. I have been working since I was fourteen years old. I needed a break. So I decided to concentrate on my family and on my health. I started working out more, I took cooking lessons, and was eating healthier.

I still love business, but now I only take on projects where I’m part of a team so every decision doesn’t fall solely on my shoulders. I still love doing the Ramona Pinot and Ramona Merlot, but I don’t do all the traveling for it. In December of 2014, I partnered with my friend, restaurateur Peter Guimaraes, to open AOA Bar and Grill, a 6,000 square-foot, 190-seat restaurant in Tribeca. Peter approached me and said, “I think AOA would be a great match for you.” I decided to get involved because I felt like it would be fun change in pace from everything I had been doing and a great way to display my wines. AOA is a lively sports bar that is conducive to meeting and talking. It’s a fun, relaxed place where you can hang out with friends, meet people, and network. I personally feel when you go to a restaurant it’s more fun in the bar area. Who wants to sit at a table alone in the corner?