Never Far Away (24 page)

 
He gripped the top of her panties and pulled them down her legs, trailing his mouth and tongue along behind them, his mouth devouring every inch of skin she had to offer.  Under his mouth she writhed, pulsated.  He could feel her coming apart with every flick of his tongue or press of his lips.  He made his way back up to the heat of her core.

 
  “Tell me,” he said.

 
  “Please, Porter, I can’t,” she cried, the sexual frustration evident in the timbre of her voice.  He blew along her cleft.

 
  “Oh God, Porter, I can’t lose you. Please, don’t make me tell you,” she cried as she raised her hips up, searching for him, for the connection he was withholding from her.

 
  “If you can’t trust me, then you’ve already lost me,” he said quietly against her thigh.  The words rang true with him and he hadn’t realized it until he said them.  If she could keep something from him, then she wasn’t fully his.  Now, he needed her to confess or else he knew he’d lose her forever, one way or another.

 
  “Please, Baby,” he said pleading with her, nearly begging, as he nipped at the lips of her opening.  “Let me in,” he said, his tongue darting out just to tease.  Her legs shook and he hoped to God he was whittling away at the wall she’d built in the last few hours, the wall he was sure someone else had helped her put up.

 
  He sat up and brought his hips to press against hers, his cock just barely touching her.  He maneuvered into her so that his shaft pressed against her clit, and she used her body to beg him for more.  He felt her clit rubbing along the length of him as they used their bodies to torture each other into getting what they wanted, but he was sure he was going to win in the end – he had to. He took the tip of his length and ran it up and down along her slit. He watched her back arch and her mouth part, and moaning with pleasure mixed with fright. 

 
  “Promise me,” she said through clenched teeth.

 
  “Anything,” he said, continuing to tease her, now reaching down and swirling his tip around her clit.

 
  “Promise me we’ll be safe, that you won’t let him touch us,” she pleaded.

 
  “Tell me,” he said, looking directly into her eyes, begging her with everything he had in his soul.

 
  “It was Kyle,” she sobbed. Porter stilled.  “He told me not to go to the police or he would hurt everyone I cared about.”  Her admission was a whisper, but it blared through his body and through his heart.  She was trying to protect him, to shield him from what she thought Kyle could do to him.

 
  He sank into her heat in one long stroke and they both moaned at the contact.  He collapsed onto her, scooping her up, wrapping his arms around her back underneath her, bringing her as close as possible to him.  Her legs wound themselves around his waist, sinking him even father into her.

 
  “I’m sorry,” she whispered in his ear.

 
  “Me too.  I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”  She pulled away quickly and looked right in his eyes.

 
  “No, you aren’t going to blame yourself for this.  We’re done with blame.  You can’t hold yourself responsible for him.  Just…”  She exhaled loudly.

 
  “Just what, Ella?”

 
  “Just don’t let me go.”

 
  “Never.”  He bent down again to fuse his mouth to hers.  The kiss was such a relief to him.  More than ever before, in this moment, she was his.  She had let him in, even when every bone in her body was telling her not to.  His lips brushed against hers and his tongue slipped inside, seeking hers out.  His hands came up around her stomach to cup her breasts, his thumbs found her nipples, rubbing and swirling until he heard her moan through their kiss.

 
  “Tell me who you belong to, Ella.”

 
  “You, Porter, I belong to you.”

 
  He thrusted inside her slowly and fully.  He reached down between them to where they were connected and pressed a finger against her. 

 
  “How much, Ella?  How much of you belongs to me?”  He ground the words out through his clenched jaw.

 
  “Oh God, Porter,” she moaned, gripping his shoulders.  “All of me.”

 
  “Your body?”  He plunged in again, feeling all of this shaft slide against her wet and clenching walls.

 
  “Jesus… yes, Porter, my body is yours.”

 
  “Do I belong to you?”  He asked, making sure she felt all of him as he continued to pump into her, still fingering her clit at the same time.

 
  “If I’m yours – oh God, don’t stop, Porter,” she begged.  “If I’m yours, then you’re mine,” she said looking right at him.

 
  “I want your heart too.”  He slowed his pace and came back down to her mouth.  Her hands came back to his face and held his gaze on hers.

 
  “Before you had any other part of me, you had my heart,” she whispered to him.  “Please, Porter, love me.”  He rested his head in the crook of her shoulder and continued to draw in and out, all while using his finger to gently bring her to orgasm.  He felt her legs tense around his waist, her walls clenched deliciously around his cock, and sent him over the edge into an equally shattering abyss.

 
  They both panted and clung to each other, sweat was slick between their bodies, and he could hear feel her heartbeat through her chest.  He went to move off of her and she gripped him even tighter.

 
  “Please, just hold me for a minute more.”

 
  He kissed her forehead and moved back over her, resting his face against her shoulder.  After a few minutes passed he felt her take in a breath as if she were bracing herself for something.

 
  “Maybe we should decide what we are going to do now?”

 
  Porter was reluctant to let the moment pass, enjoying having her body so closely and intimately intertwined with his.  In this moment she was safe.  She was in his arms and he was protecting her.  But he rolled to the side and rested his head on a pillow.

 
  “Why don’t you tell me what happened in the club?”

 
  “On one condition,” she stipulated.

 
  “What condition would that be?”

 
  “No matter what happened, you cannot feel guilty or blame yourself for anything that he said or did.”  Porter’s jaw clenched because he knew that would be difficult.  From day one he was protective of Ella.  He wanted nothing but to keep her safe and sheltered, but he seemed to be failing at every turn.

 
  “Please tell me,” was all he said in response.  She stared at him for a moment, seeming to deliberate as to whether she would accept that as an answer.

 
  “I was walking through the club, trying to get back to the table but there was a large group of people blocking the way so I decided to go around them.  I was passing by the back wall and I felt someone grab my arm and pull me down the hallway.  Before I could see him, he pushed me up against the wall, face first, and pinned my arms above my head, holding the rest of my body against the wall with his own.”  He could not control the immediate and immense tension that coursed through his body.  The image of Kyle holding Ella against a wall was enough to make him want to kill Kyle.  He wasn’t sure that if Kyle were around he’d be able to control himself enough to let the fucker breathe another breath.

 
  “Jesus, Ella,” he said as he raked his hands down his face.

 
  “He told me that he was the one outside your house that night.”

 
  “Shit!”  Porter got out of bed, unable to sit still any more.  She sat up and pulled her knees up to her chest.

 
  “He also told me that I was to tell you all that I didn’t want to press any charges against him for what happened that night at the apartment, outside your house, or anything else.”

 
  “What do you mean by ‘anything else’”?

 
  “The shooting.”

 
  “Did that motherfucker shoot you, Ella?”  He nearly screamed at her.  Her eyes misted over with tears and she wiped one away that slipped down her cheek.

 
  “He said he didn’t, but Porter, I just don’t know what to believe any more,” she said, trying to contain a sob.  Porter moved to the bed, his anger and rage being pushed aside by his need to comfort her.  He sat on the bed, leaning up against the headboard, then pulled her over to him and tucked her into his side.

 
  “What else did he say?”

 
  “He just said that if I did report him he would find a way to hurt the people I care about.”  She sighed and nuzzled into his chest.  “I’m sorry, Porter.  I was panicked.  All I kept thinking was that I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep this from you.  I knew it.  But I am so afraid that he’ll hurt you, or Megan, or Kalli.  OH!”  She sat straight up and lunged out of the bed. 

 
  “Where are you going?”

 
  “I’ve got to call Kalli,” she said as she darted out of the room.  Even though they were in the middle of a very serious conversation, it was hard not to notice that she was still naked.  The sight of her walking back into the room with nothing on made him smile.  She got back into bed and cuddled up to him again.

 
  “Kyle is Scott.”  Porter gave her a confused look.

 
  “Who the hell is Scott?”

 
  “Kalli has been seeing a new guy, Scott, for a few weeks now, and it turns out it is Kyle.  That’s how he knew I was there last night and how he’s been keeping tabs on me.”  Ella shuddered against him.  “I can’t believe she’s been spending so much time with him, letting him in her apartment, letting him kiss her, all because of me.”

 
  “Hey,” he said as he placed a finger under her chin and lifted it to look up at him. “No guilt and no blame.  He did all of this, not us.”  She gave him a half smile and he knew she felt bad for having anything to do with the mess they all seemed to be in.

 
  She dialed a number and he listened to her call Megan and explain everything again to her, and then again to Kalli, who had in fact stayed with Patrick and Megan.  He could tell Megan was trying to convince Ella to go to the police and he agreed with her.  The police needed to know that Kyle was back in town and responsible for the assault against her in her apartment and the night before at the club.

 
  When she hung up, Porter brought her hand to his lips and brushed his mouth over her knuckles. 

 
  “Baby, we have to go to the police.”

 
  “But what if he finds out?”  She asked with a worried expression on her face.  “I can’t risk anything happening to you. I just got you back.”

 
  “First of all, you never lost me.  Second of all, he will find out – when the police arrest him and put him in jail.”  Porter looked over at the clock on her bedside table; it was a little after two in the morning.  “I think we should go to the police tonight, Babe, the sooner the better.”  She let out a loud breath and looked up at him.

 
  “You’ll go with me?”  He had to laugh at her.

 
  “Babe, you’d be lucky to get rid of me until this whole thing is over.  You’re going to be getting really tired of me soon.”

 
  “I doubt it,” she said with a small frown.  “Ok, I’ll go right now, but I’m wearing yoga pants and a sweatshirt.”  Porter smiled, glad she was agreeing to go.

 
  “Good girl.”

Chapter Sixteen

Ella

 
  Ella was exhausted; utterly, completely, and ridiculously exhausted.  Having been at the police station for nearly eight hours, it was now after ten in the morning.  They had been questioned by every single officer in the Portland Metro area, or so it felt.  All the officers who questioned her asked her the same questions and made her relive every horrible thing that Kyle had done.

 
  She felt empty when she left and really stupid.  In fact, stupid was the exact word to describe how she felt.  She’d spent years of her life with a man who was capable of pure evil.  She’d slept with him, been intimate with him, let him into her life and the lives of her family, and he’d hurt her in way that she could have never seen coming or imagined.  No one at the police station went out of their way to make her feel badly or responsible, but it was hard not to question one's judgment when the person you thought you might spend the rest of your life with had, in the end, very little respect for your life at all.

 
  When they were done questioning her, the police suggested that Ella not stay at her apartment until he was apprehended.  They also suggested she hire private security for Poppy, which she agreed with.  There was no way she was going to endanger the safety of Megan or any of the girls that worked there.  Other than that, the police said she needed to be careful, report anything suspicious, and try not to go anywhere alone.  She didn’t think the last suggestion would be a problem. Porter had gone into caveman mode but, honestly, she didn’t mind.

 
  They were driving to her parent’s house, who Porter had filled in on everything while they were at the police station.  For now, it was a place she could rest until they figured out what steps to take next.  She sat in the middle of the bench seat of his truck, his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him, her eyes closed, very close to sleep.

 
  “Babe,” she heard his voice calling to her.  “We’re at your parent’s house.  Wake up, Baby.”  She opened her eyes, sat up, and started making her way to the front door.  Her mom opened the door before they could even get to the top step of the porch.  Susan tried to fuss over her, with good intentions of course, but Ella just wanted to sleep.  Porter led her down the hall to what used to be her bedroom, but had been converted into a guest room long ago.

 
  He helped her pull her sweatshirt over her head and pulled back the covers so she could climb in to the big, king-sized bed.  She sunk into the heavenly mattress and almost immediately felt her eyes close.  She felt Porter place his lips on her temple and then he whispered something about being back soon.  She shot up, panicked.

 
  “Where are you going?”  She asked, all of a sudden she was awake and alert, not wanting him to leave her all by herself.  He sat down on the bed next to her and pushed a piece of wayward hair back behind her ear.

 
  “Babe, you’re wrecked.  Just go to sleep.  Your parents are here.  I’m going to go to your house and get some of your things. I’ll be back in no time.” 

 
  She threw the covers off of her legs and stood in an instant.

 
  “I’m coming with you,” she stated firmly.

 
  “Ella, you’re exhausted.  I don’t want you there anyway.  I want you to sleep. You need to rest.”

 
  “Then stay with me, please, I don’t want you to go there by yourself.”  He placed a warm hand on her thigh and squeezed.

 
  “I won’t be long and I’d rather you were here with your parents then at the apartment.  It’s better for you to be here.  But I’ll make you a deal,” he said as he leaned forward and kissed her gently.  “You rest right now while I go get some stuff for us, and when I get back I’ll come straight to you and lie down until we both wake up rested.”  She wanted to argue, to get up and follow him wherever he went, but even she knew that she was worthless at the moment.  She didn’t even bother answering him; she just laid back down and pulled the covers over her face to block out the light from the window.  She heard him laugh as he left the room. 

   When she finally woke up Sunday morning, she felt like she had been asleep for days.  She opened her eyes, but only saw darkness.  She waited, hoping her eyes would adjust to the lack of light, and eventually was able to make out the bedside table which had her phone on it.  She checked the time and couldn’t believe it was three in the morning.  She’d been asleep for nearly seventeen hours.  She heard the faint sounds of someone breathing and turned over to see the outline of Porter next to her.  Warmth flooded through her to know that he was near her, as he promised. 

 
  She moved towards him, wanting to be as close to him as possible.  When she felt the skin of his back with her hands she found him shirtless.  She wanted to feel all of him against all of her so she quickly shucked off her shirt and bra and curled up against the warmth of his back, her hand reaching across his stomach.  She burrowed her head against the back of him, content to just be in contact with him.  She placed a few light kissed along his spine and felt him stir.  His hand came to rest over hers and he twined his fingers with hers.

 
  “Hey,” she said against his back between kisses.

 
  “Hey,” he answered with a sleepy voice.

 
  “Sorry to wake you.”

 
  “Don’t be sorry,” he said as he rolled over and pulled her into him, their faces inches apart.  “Weren’t you wearing clothes when you went to sleep?” 

 
  She couldn’t see him clearly, but she knew he was smiled. 

“I was.
  You are very observant,” she said snarkily.

 
  “I like your new look better.”

 
  “I’m sure you do,” she said, trying hard to sound annoyed, but her small laugh got in the way.

 
  “Are you feeling better?”  He asked as he smoothed a hand down her hair.

 
  “I’m feeling rested, but I’m still not sure what we’re going to do, Porter.  Everything is really messed up.”  She could feel herself start to tense up as soon as her brain tried to start processing everything that had happened in the last two days, two months even.  It was all too much to take in and her body’s natural response to the stress was panic.

 
  “Breath, Ella.  What do you want to have happen?”

 
  “What do you mean?”

 
  “What do
you
think we should do?”  She thought for a moment about what would logically make the most sense.  The police told her that she shouldn’t go back to Poppy or to her apartment until Kyle was caught.

 
  “Well, I can’t go to work for a little while.  And I can’t stay at my apartment.  You’ve already missed so much work.  Maybe we should both stay in Lincoln City until they find Kyle and arrest him.”

 
  “Ok, we can go wherever you want.  Are you sure you’ll feel safe at my house?  He’s been there too.”

 
  Ella thought about his question.  Did she feel safe there?  No.  But she didn’t feel safe anywhere.  Porter’s house was one of the places she could be that wasn’t one hundred percent tainted by Kyle.  She was sure if he wanted to Kyle could find her anywhere and she refused to hide.  She would be smart and safe, but she wouldn’t hide.  He’d stolen enough from her already; she wasn’t about to lay down and let him win.

 
  “Let’s go to Lincoln City.  We’ve got the 4
th
of July cookout coming up anyway.  I’ll hire private security for Poppy and I will just spend some time at the beach.  I need a vacation anyway,” she said with a forced smile, trying to downplay the severity of the situation.

 
  “Babe, this won’t last long.  They’ll catch him.  He’ll slip up soon and you won’t have to worry about it anymore.  But I’ll do everything I can to make you feel safe.  The Fourth of July is coming up, I can take a few days off and we can just relax – let the stress of the last couple days fade away. Maybe we should have some people over to the house for the holiday. We could grill and watch the fireworks.”

 
  “Thanks, that sounds like the best idea I've heard in a while.”  She said as she placed a small kiss on his mouth.

 
  “Are you excited about the house?”

 
  Ella knew he was trying to change the subject but felt a smile creep across her face reagrdless.

 
  “Yes.”  Truthfully, she was more than excited. She was ecstatic.  The idea of having a home to share with Porter made everything seem tolerable.  Knowing that the two of them would be making a home together made her stomach flip in a deliciously anxious way.  She wanted every part of their life together: she wanted to argue about who was going to take out the garbage, she wanted to drive him crazy asking him what he thought about patterns for curtains, she wanted to watch him sweat through a sexy baseball shirt while he mowed the lawn.  Everything about a normal and mundane life, she wanted it all with him.

 
  “Do you want kids?”  She blurted out before she had a chance to think, surprised by even her own jump to a serious topic.

 
  “Generally or specifically?”  He asked.  She knew he couldn’t really see her, but she drew her eyebrows together in confusion anyway.

 
  “What the heck does that mean?”  She asked and heard him laugh.

 
  “Well, I mean, in a very general way, I’d say sure, I want kids.  I like the idea of having children.  I feel compelled as a person to continue my lineage and all that.  But specifically, with you, I want kids so badly I can hardly wait.  To see you carrying our child, Ella, that will probably be the most beautiful thing I’ll ever see.  To hold our baby, to know that our love created a person, someone that will be a combination of
us
; it’s the most important thing we’ll ever do together, creating that child.”

 
Ella’s breath stole from her lungs at his words.  His
words
.  What kind of poet had he been in a past life to be able to weave words together in such a way that made her heart beat right out of her chest? 

 
  “Who are you?”  She asked very seriously.  “What made you the way you are?  Why are you so kind and sweet?  Strong and possessive? I can’t even imagine what my life would be like right now if you weren’t in it.  How did you become so perfect?”

 
  “Ella, I’m not perfect,” he whispered.

 
  “You’re perfect for me,” she quietly replied.

 
  “I couldn’t agree more.  But honestly, we’re just lucky I think.”

 
  “Lucky?”

 
  “Think about everything that had to happen for you and I to be at my mom’s bar at the same time that night: if her dishwasher hadn’t broken, if it hadn’t been raining, if you had decided not to go to the beach, if you hadn’t left your lights on.  There were a million different ways that night could have played out, Ella.  How lucky are we that
this
is how our story ended up?”  He emphasized his point by running his hands along her bare back, bringing goose bumps to the surface of her skin, making her shiver.  “But luck only takes us so far.  Now that we’ve found each other it’s up to us to work at making our life together.” 

 
  She smiled at his words, knowing that he pictured a full and complete life for them to share.  As sure as she was about being with him, that he was with no doubt the only man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Her feelings of surety were only made stronger by the fierceness with which he believed in their relationship.  He believed in their forever.  And it made her love him even more for it.

 
  “So,” she said, trying to hide the fact that her cheeks were hurting a little from the giant smile on her face.  “Tomorrow we go back to Lincoln City?”

 
  “Sounds like a plan to me,” he said, kissing the tip of her nose.

 
  “Can I spend some time at the bar with your mom while you’re at work?”

 
  “I think my mom would really like that,” he said sincerely.

 
  “Good, I miss your mom.”

 
“Let’s go back to sleep.  When we wake up we can get ready to go.”

 
  She stretched out along the bed, turning her back into Porter’s chest as she felt his arm weave around her waist, pulling her close.

 
  “I love you, Porter.  More than I think I can even wrap my mind around.”

 
  “Don’t worry.  I know exactly how much you love me.  It’s just a little less than I love you.”

 
  She smiled and eventually found herself slipping away into sleep again.

   Poppy remained closed for the day until the private security company could arrange for one of their security guards to be on site.  Ella considered a one-day loss in sales to be a happy sacrifice to keep her friends and family safe.  Megan was a little unhappy with the decision, offering to take Patrick with her to act as bodyguard, but Ella told her unequivocally no.  That was not a risk she was willing to take.