Authors: Cathy Kelly
Sitting beside Ewan, Cara had no idea what she ate. She
could barely taste it anyway, although everyone else was in
rhapsodies over the food.
‘God, this seafood risotto is beautiful,’ groaned Michael,
shovelling huge forkfuls into his mouth.
‘I know,’ muttered Arlene, spearing a mussel, ‘it’s better
than sex.’
Michael looked outraged. ‘Whaddya mean, better than sex?’ he demanded, his mouth full.
Everyone howled.
‘Not sex with you, darling,’ she amended.
‘Sex with who, then?’ he said, even more outraged.
Everyone howled even louder.
Ewan leaned closer to Cara and whispered in her ear, his
breath tickling the soft skin of her neck, ‘Mine isn’t better
than sex.’
His fingers curled around her jeaned knee, caressing her
as if he could feel skin instead of denim. She moaned softly
at his touch.
‘And you’re not even eating the risotto,’ Ewan remarked sotto voce.
Cara erupted into giggles and Arlene, who’d refused to
discuss her risotto/sex comment any more, swivelled
around in her chair. ‘What’s the joke?’ she said brightly,
wanting to distract Michael’s attention from the knotty
question of past lovers.
Cara shook her head helplessly.
‘Private joke,’ grinned Ewan broadly.
After a riotous dinner, the other four elected to go for a
drink in The Foggy Dew.
‘I think we’ll call it a night,’ Ewan said.
‘Yeah,’ added Cara, ‘I’ve got an early start in the morning.’
‘Slavedriver
bosses are a pain,’ said Dave, an arm around
Babs as they all walked slowly up the street.
Ewan and Cara nodded earnestly, trying to look as if
their desire to get home early was really to do with
Bernard Redmond and not their longing to be on their
own.
‘We’re going clubbing next weekend,’ Babs said to Cara.
‘You’ll come, won’t you?’
‘I won’t be around next weekend,’ she said regretfully.
‘My father’s getting married next Saturday.’
‘She’ll come out with us the following week,’ Ewan
promised, sliding a warm hand into hers.
Everyone was sad to see her go but adamant she should
go out with them again soon. They were so friendly that
Cara felt warmed by their goodbye hugs and waves. Used
to being always a little on the fringe of groups, it felt nice
to be in the middle of one, welcomed and liked.
She and Ewan walked up to Dame Street and, miraculously,
managed to hail a taxi without too much difficulty.
‘Would you like to come back to my place?’ he asked as
he opened the taxi door for her.
She nodded.
They sat in the back of the cab, Ewan’s hand in hers, and
talked about the day. It had been so very long since Cara
had been on a date that she knew she should have felt
nervous at the thought of one. But today, even though it
had been transformed from a casual day out into the
pleasurable state of a proper date, hadn’t made her in the
slightest bit anxious. Now that they were on their own, she
still felt relaxed. Sitting close to Ewan felt utterly and
completely natural.
The taxi stopped at a crossroads and the glare of a street
light shone in, illuminating Cara’s profile and dusting her
lustrous dark hair with silvery streaks. Ewan silently
reached over and stroked the high bones of her left cheek,
his fingers softly caressing.
‘You’re very beautiful, do you know that?’ he said
quietly.
It would have sounded corny had anyone else said it, if
anyone would have dared. And if someone had, her first
instinct would have been to punch their lights out.
But when Ewan said she was beautiful, Cara knew it was
because he meant it. It wasn’t a throwaway line designed to make her fall at his feet. She was beautiful to him; what was more, she felt beautiful with him, not a giantess with
clumsy feet and unusual foreign looks.
‘I didn’t feel beautiful, not ever before,’ she said, softly
so the taxi driver wouldn’t hear.
‘But you do now?’ prompted Ewan, his hand still gently
touching her face.
She turned to smile at him, letting her face say it for her.
He lived in the basement flat of an old Georgian house
in Dun Laoghaire. A young couple with kids lived in the
upstairs but they’d cleverly had the floor between the two
floors soundproofed, he explained as they walked up a tiny
garden path to his front door, which meant that the tenant
downstairs could make as much noise as they liked.
‘It means I can play my old Abba records at full blast,’
he joked.
Letting them into a tiny hall, Ewan touched a switch
and the large airy room beyond was filled with light. Huge
black and white movie posters dominated cream walls
with a Mondrian-inspired rug sprawled out on wooden
floorboards. But Ewan didn’t give Cara a chance to check
out his interior decorating skills. She, in turn, didn’t want
to.
At exactly the same moment, they turned and moved
forward, seamlessly melting into each other. His mouth
found hers and this time it was no brotherly kiss like the
one in the soccer club car park. This kiss was strong and
sensual, their mouths clinging together, probing, tongues
twining deeply as they explored.
Cara dropped her rucksack to the ground and pushed off
Ewan’s coat. He struggled out of it, their lips still locked,
before wrenching her out of her overcoat.
Silently, urgently, they clung together, hands touching
each other as if they were in a battlefield, afraid a bomb
was going to wipe them out instantly. As if every second
was precious and none could be wasted with their bodies
and mouths separate.
Ewan’s lips pressed exquisitely into Cara’s skin, moving
over her face and neck: kissing, licking, consuming her. Her
fingers shoved his jumper over his ribs and they stopped
kissing for a moment while he ripped it and his shirt off,
button-; pinging off as he dragged the unopened cuffs over
his hands. Then they were touching again, his face in her
hands as she tried to kiss his face all over, like a blind
person’s fingers reading Braille.
He moved his head rapidly to suck her fingers, imprisoning
them in his mobile mouth and sucking them as if he
wanted to eat her whole.
Then her hands were in his hair, pulling him closer to
her as he burned a trail down her face and neck with
molten kisses.
They half fell on to a couch Cara hadn’t even noticed,
bodies locked together in a frenzied embrace. She moved
so that she was half lying on top of Ewan, her upper body
crushed against his. Her eager mouth traced down the
smooth skin of his chest to his nipples and he groaned as
she nibbled gently.
Unable to wait a moment longer, Ewan sat up so he was
propped against the couch back and started to pull her
jumper up her body. Straddling him, Cara sat up and
ripped Phoebe’s chenille jumper up and dragged off her
cosy grey T-shirt to reveal her completely plain white
cotton bra. Through the soft fabric, her nipples stood out
in rosy peaks and she could see his eyes darken as he gazed
at her longingly.
‘You’re beautiful,’ he said for the second time that day.
Breathing heavily, their lips met passionately and briefly
before he pushed her back to the other side of the couch, fingers and mouth exploring her body greedily.
Like dancers in a practised ballet, they seemed to sense
exactly what the other wanted, moving in unison. At the
same time, they wordlessly moved and stripped off the rest
of their clothes, eyes locked on each other as they tore off
jeans, socks and underpants. His body was lean and well
muscled, strong shoulders tapering down to narrow hips
and long legs.
Naked, Cara stood for a moment, knowing that the
harsh overhead lights were on her and not caring. For once
she didn’t feel too tall or unfeminine. She didn’t worry
that she hadn’t rubbed scented lotion into every part of
her body in case she smelt like a woman who’d had her
shower over twelve hours previously. And she didn’t care
that it was at least a million years since she’d shaved her
legs.
Ewan thought she was beautiful and when she was with
him, she felt beautiful.
His hot eyes roamed over her nakedness, then he
wrapped himself around her and she felt that taut, strong
body hard against her. She almost shivered at the sensation
of his skin against hers, revelling in the sensual experience
of making love to this amazing man. She felt wanton,
earthy, she wanted him to explore every part of her body,
she wanted to lose herself in Ewan and let him lose himself
in her. She didn’t want it to stop. Ever.
With infinite tenderness, Ewan kissed Cara and led her
back to the softness of the couch.
Are you sure?’ he asked as she lay down.
Absolutely,’ she replied. She’d never been so sure of
anything in all her life.
He ripped the foil off a condom, not watching what he
was doing but looking hungrily at her. Then he was inside
her, hard and thrusting, and Cara felt herself open up at
that exquisite moment, the feeling of utter closeness,
physical and mental. It was glorious: the sensation of his
mouth in her hair, breathing her name as they moved
together expertly.
Her breath came in short gasps as they came together,
their bodies fused in an electric moment, skin on skin,
sensual and exhilarating all at the same time.
When she screamed his name as orgasm rippled through
her, she felt as if she’d been set free from a prison, like a
bird let out of a tiny cage. Her body quivered, high on the
vibrating ecstasy of the moment, high on feeling his
fevered passion for her before she felt the sweet peace of
satiation flood through her.
‘Cara,’ Ewan moaned raggedly.
She held him to her, clinging to him as if letting go
would be a disaster, until he shuddered to a halt, spent and
exhausted.
‘Just as well you’ve got an insulated ceiling,’ Cara
quipped, feeling lost in the silence after her fevered cries a
few moments previously.
Ewan laughed and, arms still wrapped around him, Cara
felt his flat stomach vibrate at the effort.
‘You’re right,’ he said, ‘because that was so good, the
neighbours would probably want a cigarette afterwards.’
He turned sideways carefully, not wanting to fall off the
couch which seemed far too small for two tall people to lie
on it all of a sudden. Propping his head on one arm, he
gazed at Cara.
‘I gave up smoking four months ago and not having a
cigarette now is probably the hardest moment in that
entire four months.’
‘You mean, you don’t bring strange women home every
Sunday to do this?’ she asked, tongue in cheek.
‘No,’ he replied, his mouth finding hers again.
She closed her eyes and lost herself in his kiss, loving the
sensation of lying tightly beside him, wrapped around each
other, limbs tangled up.
Ewan seemed in no rush to move. He ran his fingers
lightly over her shoulders, tracing the contours of her body,
stroking every hollow and curve. Feeling like a cat lying in
the sun, Cara simply lay back and enjoyed the feeling
He had the most incredible eyes, she thought idly. The
outer rim of his iris was a deeper green than the rest of his
eyes, as if a watercolour painter had carefully ringed the
hypnotic cloudy green with a deeper, richer colour, almost
the colour of verdigris on old copper. When he looked at
her with that sleepy, sexual gaze, she felt as if he had the
power to melt her insides.
‘What are you thinking?’ he asked.
It was Cara’s turn to laugh. ‘I’m the one who’s supposed
to ask that. You’re supposed to fall asleep and snore while I
lie here and wonder where it’s all going and should we get
married in your parish or mine!’
Ewan didn’t stop his gentle stroking, fingers caressing
the curve of her waist and gliding down to touch the
length of her thigh. ‘I’m afraid that if I fall asleep, I’ll lose you. That you’ll have time to think, get scared, be afraid
you’ve got too close and run out of here without saying
goodbye. I don’t want that to happen,’ he added.
Cara said nothing. She just wondered how he could be
so intuitive. Did he know that she’d had practically no
relationships over the past six years? Had someone in the
office been sneaking? But nobody knew that much about
her private life, apart from Zoe.
‘You’re not going to run out on me?’ he asked. ‘I have
this gut feeling that’s your instinct.’
Cara’s eyes met his.
‘No,’ she said. ‘What makes you ask that?’
He shrugged. ‘I can see it in your eyes. You’re like a
hedgehog, all prickly on the outside but soft and scared
inside. When somebody gets to see the inside, you want to
get away from them as quickly as possible.’
‘I’m not going to run away,’ she repeated. ‘I promise.’