Authors: Cathy Kelly
pretending to stretch her arms in an attempt to see what
time it was.
Evie wished she could sneak a glance at her own watch
or even ask Rosie the time but, sandwiched between
Great Aunt Al and her mother’s second cousin, Fidelma,
who’d turned up out of the blue for the wedding, she
couldn’t move. And she wouldn’t ask Cara, who was
sitting the other side of Fidelma. Evie could feel the
waves of hostility coming from her sister. It had been that
way all morning.
Cara was just so irritating. Couldn’t she see that Evie
didn’t want to continue their row?
But once she got in a mood, that was it. Evie had even
tried to talk to her that morning but had got her head
bitten off in the process. She’d only made a simple
comment about hoping Vida wasn’t going to turn up in a
ludicrous white fluffy dress and Cara had been so bitchy in
return. I mean, how dared she make that smart remark
about Evie’s wedding dress? Evie felt herself flush again
with remembered indignation.
If she wasn’t the elder of the two and with an example
to set, she’d have loved to have slapped Cara’s face.
At a signal from the priest, the organist sprang into
action and the low throaty warble of the elderly organ
vibrated around the church. Everyone sat up straighter in
their seats and craned their necks for the first glimpse of
the bride Evie, with a suddenly developed lump in her
throat, looked at her father instead. His lined face, as dear
and familiar to her as her own, was illuminated with joy.
The furrows in his forehead magically disappeared as he
watched Vida walk slowly up the aisle. He looked happier
than Evie had seen him for a long time.
The tears pooled in her eyes, brimming over the fringe
of bottom lashes. Evie held her breath, desperately, trying
to stop them from starting to fall.
She hated herself at that moment, hated all those jealous
thoughts she’d done her best to quell but hadn’t quite been able to. How could she not want her beloved father to be happy? He deserved happiness. Cara was right, she
was a cast-iron bitch. She was sorry she’d been so adamant
about not letting Rosie be a bridesmaid either.
Too late, she realised the tears were falling. She snuffled
frantically, hoping nobody else could see. Thankfully she
was hidden behind Aunt Al’s vast puce wool bulk and
hopefully if anybody did notice her crying, they’d think she
was overcome with the usual wedding weeping fit. She
couldn’t help it, though.
Watching her father stand at the altar and replace her
wonderful mother was still so very painful. But, Evie
decided with a resolute snuffle, she’d mourn during the
ceremony and afterwards she’d start again. She’d show her
father she was happy for him, she’d dance at his wedding tight
skirt suit and Olivia’s toe-crunching shoes permitting
- and she’d smile at his new bride.
If only she could warm to Vida. If he’d been marrying
anyone else, Evie could have been totally, one hundred per
cent happy for both of them. Yahoo, where are the
balloons, let’s all celebrate! Yet she wasn’t happy. There
was something about the cool-eyed American woman she
didn’t like. Evie couldn’t admit to herself that the problem
might be her own jealousy.
As the organ wheezed asthmatically, the bride finally
came into her line of vision, looking just as wonderful as
Evie had secretly suspected she would.
Radiant in a discreet grey suit, Vida smiled at her
husband to be. Her hair was held up in its usual classic
chignon, with a jewelled clip the only adornment. In her
own conservative blue, with her hair done up in rock
hard curls and wearing an overbright lipstick in an
attempt to look cheerful, Evie felt like a ‘fifties Avon lady
by comparison.
Vida handed her ivory bouquet to her one attendant,
her very unmatronly-looking best friend from New York
who was just as chic in a darker grey suit with a helmet of
perfectly coiffed Ladies-Who-Lunch hair. Evie sighed.
How could you compete with that? Vida and her matron
of honour could have stepped out of a Vanity Fair editorial
on Manhattan style. She felt like she wouldn’t make the
grade in the style section of Lumberjack Weekly.
Don’t get maudlin, she told herself firmly. Try and enjoy
the wedding.
Four-year-old Sasha, adorable in white raw silk with a
big silvery grey sash, looked trustingly up at Vida, who
held out her hand to the little girl.
She was a poppet, Evie thought, eyes filling up again as
she remembered Rosie at the same age. At least Olivia and
Stephen had each other, even if they weren’t getting on
brilliantly. When Rosie had been the same age, Evie had
been on her own, a lonely widowed mother.
She still felt as if she was on her own. Simon hadn’t been
able to make the ceremony and was coming later, so Evie
had to endure yet another wedding feeling like the only
single woman in a sea of married ones. She felt another
tear wobble on her eyelashes. Weddings were so difficult.
While the priest welcomed the congregation, Cara hoped
Vida understood that being a bridesmaid wasn’t her thing.
She’d been terrified she’d have to wear the requisite
horrible pink/peach/baby blue satin dress that’d make her
look like something that had just come back from the
upholsterer’s.
Vida’s best friend, Katherine, didn’t look like the sort of
woman who’d take kindly to being jammed in a pink frilly
thing, so maybe that was why she was wearing a very
unbridesmaidy suit. Cara was pretty sure that if she’d said yes to her stepmother-to-be’s request, she’d have been looking ugly in pink.
Or maybe not. Ewan thought she always looked beautiful
so perhaps she could have worn a bridesmaid’s dress
without looking too hideous.
Ewan … Just thinking about him sent a pleasurable
shiver down Cara’s spine. What an incredible week it had
been. They’d spent every evening together: going out to
dinner in a tiny Italian restaurant, going to the cinema to
watch the latest Spielberg movie, and sitting in a quaint
little pub laughing and talking nineteen to the dozen over
far too many bottles of Beck’s afterwards.
And then there’d been the lovemaking. They’d gone to
Ewan’s place the first couple of evenings and once inside
the door had fallen on each other hungrily, barely waiting
to take their clothes off before making love, frantically and
passionately. Afterwards they’d sit half-dressed and watch
TV and sip coffee before turning to each other again, limbs
entwined, as they made love at a more leisurely pace.
Cara would have loved to have stayed with Ewan each
night and he asked her to, but she didn’t want to stagger
into work in borrowed clothes again so he dropped her
home every time, sitting in the steamed up car outside her
flat for at least half an hour as they said their goodbyes.
She’d taken him to her place on Thursday, after a
mammoth cleaning up session that morning when she’d
hoovered and tidied her room in an attempt to get rid of at
least three months’ worth of dust and unwashed socks
lurking under the bed.
Phoebe had been out so Ewan and Cara had had the
place to themselves. They’d cuddled up on the old sofa and
had a couple of Cara’s beloved Mars Bar ice creams before
retreating to the dust-free bedroom and losing themselves
in hours of blissful pleasure.
On Friday night, Ewan had to visit his mother who was
still devastated over the death of her one-time lover, so
Cara had to go home on her own for the first time in a
week.
She’d felt empty and lonely as she sat in the silent flat,
flicking channels listlessly and wishing she’d gone out for
that drink with Zoe. She missed Ewan, she realised, missed
his arms around her and missed his goodhumoured
teasing.
When he’d phoned late that night, missing her just as
much as she was missing him, it made up for being on her
own.
‘I wish you were coming to the wedding,’ she said,
cradling the phone as if it was a part of him she was
caressing. ‘I should have asked Vida if I could bring you.
She wouldn’t mind.’
‘It’s a bit short notice,’ Ewan said easily. ‘They probably
have the numbers worked out and another guest would
screw things up for them.’
‘Another guest would make it perfect for me,’ breathed
Cara, ‘if the guest was you.’
But Ewan was playing football on Saturday, she hadn’t
mentioned him to Vida and she was going to have to
endure an entire twenty-four hours without him.
Sighing, she wondered if anyone could see the glow on
her face, what Phoebe called her ‘Sugar, I got me a man!’
glow? Evie hadn’t, that was for sure. Cara had been dying
to tell her sister that she’d just found the most incredible
man in the world but after ten seconds in Evie’s company
that morning, it had been clear that her sister was still in
the throes of her anti-Vida syndrome.
There was no point talking to her when she was like
that, Cara decided, irritated. She’d never seen Evie behave
so badly in all her life. Usually, Evie was a rock of good sense, too damn’ sensible in fact. But their father’s marriage had rocked her like an earthquake and now Evie was
behaving like a spoilt child denied that extra chocolate.
Cara knew she ought to make things up with her sister
but she was fed up with Evie’s childishness - and too
engrossed in thinking about her beloved Ewan to bother.
Evie was a grown up after all, let her deal with it.
Olivia watched her daughter standing at the altar, her mind
far away on this morning’s row. Everything had started out
so well. She’d brought Stephen breakfast in bed: coffee,
orange juice, scrambled eggs, toast and the newspaper.
Sasha had been scampering in and out of the room in her
Winnie the Pooh pyjamas, trying on the artificial floral
headdress Olivia had bought to get her used to the real
thing, a delicate wreath of real rosebuds.
Bright sunlight filtered in through the window, casting
pools of glorious light on the crisp white bedclothes and
shining on the carefully polished dark dressing table where
no clutter was allowed. As Stephen sat in state, eating his
breakfast, Olivia perched on the side of the bed, sipping
coffee and kissing Sasha each time her daughter rushed in.
‘Aren’t you eating?’ Stephen asked finally, mouth full of
scrambled egg.
Olivia shook her head, smiling at him. She didn’t want
to tell him her appetite had disappeared so that forcing a
piece of toast down her throat felt like Chinese water
torture.
‘You must have something.’ Stephen looked mulish.
‘I had some fruit,’ lied Olivia.
Her husband harumphed, letting her know that in his
august opinion fruit was no substitute for a proper breakfast.
‘I suppose you’re dieting? I don’t know why, you’re
too thin already.’
Olivia bit her lip and said nothing.
Half an hour later, she stood in the shower stall and let
the steaming water flood over her face and hair, revelling
in the solitude and the blissful warmth of the water. She
loved the shower, loved the aquamarine mosaic tiles on the
walls and floor that made it feel like showering in a
Mediterranean villa.
‘Olivia!’ yelled Stephen, impatiently opening the bathroom
door and standing right beside the steaming shower.
‘I can’t find my blue shirt. Where is it?’
Knowing exactly where the shirt was — in the washing
machine halfway through the cotton cycle - Olivia felt
that familiar wrenching feeling in her gut. ‘Give me a
minute, darling,’ she stammered, thinking that if she finished
the wash cycle early and stuck the shirt in the dryer,
it’d be ready in thirty minutes.
This didn’t suit Stephen.
‘Christ! Didn’t you know I wanted to wear that shirt
with my good suit?’
No, I didn’t, Olivia wanted to say. I’m not psychic. I
wash and iron all your stuff on the off-chance you might
feel like wearing some of it. I never know exactly which
suit you feel like wearing on a particular day. Instead, she
grimaced meekly and apologised again.
Stephen had been irate after that and Olivia knew there
wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell he’d be civil during the
wedding. She mentally tried to work out which guest she
could beg Vida to put him beside so he wouldn’t be bored.
Vida would understand, she thought blindly. Vida
wouldn’t mind upsetting her carefully worked out seating
plan if it came to making sure Stephen didn’t throw a
tantrum during the day.
She and Sasha got ready silently, the joy of dressing her
daughter in the fairy-tale flower-girl dress diminished by the icy mood in the apartment. The sunlight streaming in at the windows felt wintry now and Olivia shivered in her
thin dressing gown, goosebumps all over her too-slender