OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (30 page)

It's quite warm today but I'm covering up. I've got no choice.

Mum just said, “You're quiet, Hattie. Is anything the matter?”

What could I say?! I just told her I was feeling like I was “getting something”.

Actually I've already GOT something. It's a cabbage!

I tried everything in the kitchen AND in the bathroom to fade my tattoo. Nothing is working. My arm now smells of Radox and Cif cream cleanser.

Dear Nicky – you haven't replied to any of my texts or called me and now I have a vegetable on my arm.

I am not happy. At all.

Every time I have texted Goose recently, he seems to be BUSY. When did HE get so busy?

People at school today were begging to see my crap body art! Dimple said she totally did not tell anyone. Nita did! AND she blamed me and said she couldn't draw properly because I didn't sit still!

MGK was saying that she wants a tattoo with “Hattie Moore is not my sister” on it. A permanent one. She says she will NEVER regret it.

What I have I turned into?! I'm not a feminist – I am a TOTAL DORK DOUGHNUT!

Things I have done for Nicky:

•   Got a new haircut that's craptacular.

•   Got a henna tattoo that's craptacular.

•   Spent time with his grunting skateboard friends.

•   Let him come to Skegness.

•   TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM!

Things he has done for me:

I'm going to go to the doctor tomorrow morning to see what he can do about this henna thing. It's not fading. I'll tell Mum I'm going because I'm getting headaches.

Told Mum I was going to the doctor's tomorrow. She said, “You've not moaned about headaches. What are you really going for?”

When I said, “Headaches – honestly. Perhaps I need contact lenses”, she looked at me with her “I don't believe a word you are saying” face.

Mum has a TOTAL radar when it comes to my lies.

I've been ringing the doctor for an appointment since 8.29 a.m.! 26 minutes AND it's still engaged!

Finally got through and the receptionist bit my head off! She wanted to give me an appointment in 2 weeks' time till I told her it was an emergency. She asked what sort of “emergency” it was. I said, “An arm one.” Then she laughed and said, “See you at noon!”

NOON! My arm could have fallen off by then!

Mum is NOT happy that I am missing school today but then she said, “Better to go than to …. not go, I suppose. With your …. head.”

The doctor's was a nightmare. Everyone there was sneezing or coughing or huddled up in a ball of pain. There was 1 magazine in the entire waiting room and that was
Agriculture Today!
I now know everything about the new breed of tractors and what to do if your cows are depressed.

Why are cows depressed? All they have to do is eat grass, hang around with their mates and get milked whilst they listen to Radio 2. I'd love to be a cow.

Except for the ones that become burgers. That's bad.

Anyway the doctor said I was stupid for having a henna tattoo and even more stupid for treating my arm like a kitchen worktop. I've got a special cream and a bandage that covers it all.

Got home and Mum was practically WAITNG by the front door (she must have finished at the cafe early). Then we had this really weird “chat”.

Then I showed her and SHE LAUGHED and said, “Oh, Hattie – only you could have a vegetable painted on your arm. Don't worry – it'll fade. My friend's little boy had a dolphin done on holiday in Mykonos. It only lasts a few weeks!”

She almost seemed RELIEVED! I will NEVER understand my mum.

OMG – Nicky has SENT me flowers and written me a song. He emailed me the file! It's him rapping.

I let Goose listen because he of all people should understand OTHER men.

He just said, “It's Ed Sheeran's ‘Give Me Love'. I could do better than that… Anyone could.”

He'll never get over his anti-Nicky-ness.

OK – I was checking Goose for jealousy. There wasn't any. He was just slagging him off and checking his phone lots.

Goose was checking his phone lots?!

WHAT FOR?

Gecko tips OR TEXTING A GIRL?!

Gecko tips I hope.

And what do I say to Nicky? He's a TOTAL pig then he does the HUGE, BIG, MAX ROMANTIC stuff I have ALWAYS wanted.

I told Gran tonight about the song. She said, “Don't mess with a man's heart, Hattie. When you have them in your hand you don't play with them.” Gran clearly thinks I'm some sort of evil boy-controlling queen. She started wagging her finger at me! “In my day men didn't write a song – they bought you chips and, if you were lucky, a decent piece of cod.”

Fish is NOT romantic!