Operation Soulmate (27 page)

      At three 0’clock in the morning, however, she was awoken once again, by the strange feeling that there was something or some
one
watching her. It was a feeling of generally interrupted sleepiness, mingled with the dawning certainty that something was ‘happening’ outside the duvet. She peeped out from under the covers - with which she had recently taken to shrouding her entire head during the night - and saw the same woman, sitting in the chair at the end of her bed.

      She was about to duck her head back under the covers, when it suddenly occurred to her that there was no point whatsoever in trying to hide. She certainly couldn’t hide from that persistent feeling. And she knew that if she were to peep out at various intervals throughout the night, which she inevitably would, she would
still
find her sitting there.
Why
did the spirit world have no consideration for normal working hours? And what did this woman
want
from her? If she could just find out what she wanted, she might, just leave her alone!

     She sat up in bed and looked straight at her, remembering Faith’s no-nonsense approach earlier that day. “Can I help you?” she asked quietly. The woman continued to stare at her, smiling benignly and looking as if she was trying to figure out whether or not she should let her in on a secret. As Geraldine sat waiting for a reply, she suddenly remembered Faith’s pronouncement that no one from the spirit world should bother her unless they were there for a reading, or their appearance in her life was deemed to be
absolutely necessary
. It was the perfect pact! It completely allowed her to carry on doing the best work she could possibly do, while still having a life of her own. At the same time, it didn’t entirely rule out the possibility of Divine intervention, accident-warnings, safe navigation out of burning buildings and the all-important ‘bringing of glad tidings of great joy.’ Geraldine took in the thick mop of grey hair and the slight stoop. They seemed to be disguising a more youthful radiance, and her features reminded her of someone; she just couldn’t think who it was. She recognised her again as the woman from the bus stop and, for some reason, also suddenly remembered the cryptic message she’d mumbled on that bewildering night, and saw this as the perfect opportunity to find out more. Wasn’t it just possible that the woman had come to help her, and that her visit
might
have something to do with Ben? She sat up a little straighter and cleared her throat.

      “I wanted to ask you something,” She said. “If that’s alright...?” The woman continued to smile and nodded sagely, but still said nothing. She was irksomely less vocal than she’d been the first time they’d met. Geraldine continued, regardless. “The other night, you said something; something about my being able to get
him
back...” The woman grinned even more widely now. Geraldine was encouraged by this. She cleared her throat again and waded in... “Well, I just wondered if you meant what I thought you meant....about
who
I thought you meant it about?” The woman laughed and nodded again. She seemed pleased. “About Ben?” The woman grinned from ear-to-ear and nodded again. Geraldine was excited now. Despite the lack of words, this was actually turning out to be a very lucid and heartening conversation. “Oh God!!” She said, looking up to the heavens triumphantly, “I
knew
it.” The woman continued to smile. Then just as Geraldine was about to ask for more information, she stood up, turned around and beckoned her to follow. She then proceeded to walk through a wall. Geraldine obediently got out of bed but quickly decided she could hardly walk through a wall! For a while, she just stood there dumbstruck, trying to figure out where that particular wall might lead. It was difficult to focus on summoning up an acute knowledge of the layout of the flat in the early hours of a sleep-deprived morning. Sometimes it was hard enough for her to even know what
dimension
she was waking up in. She opened her bedroom door and followed the woman’s natural pathway with her eyes, but she was gone.

     Standing out in the corridor, Geraldine felt foolish again. She’d heard all about ghosts who enjoyed nothing more than playing tricks on the living for their own amusement. Clearly this woman was a particularly mischievous specimen with plenty time on her hands. But if that
were
the case, why had she been allowed to come to see her. There was no sign of the building being on fire, and she’d hardly issued any tidings of any
major
significance. She looked across the hall at the door to Ben’s room. Was it possible that she’d been trying to lead her to something in
there
? She really didn’t feel very much like going in there on a wild goose chase, at that particular moment. It was bad enough that the rest of the flat was coated with memories of their time together, but his room, the scene of their joyful surrendering to love, wasn’t something she was ready to face again just yet. Things were different now that she knew how much she loved him, and she wasn’t sure she could handle being in that space alone, with of all this new information about the beautifully reciprocal nature of their connection, unleashed in their general psychic biosphere.

     But why did she, suddenly, feel so hopeful again? Where was that feeling coming from? It wasn’t just the playful antics of her new, non-physical friend that struck Geraldine. It was, also, the
feeling
of foolish and unbridled optimism she felt whenever she appeared, as if suddenly
anything
was possible. As if she’d been somehow
sent
to give her hope. Geraldine knew enough about sensing energy to know when she was in the presence of a force for good and when she was in the presence of mayhem and mischief. She also knew enough about the workings of the spirit world to understand, on a feeling level, when she was being visited by one of its trustworthy messengers. And above all else, she trusted her guides not to let anyone through who might be misleading in any way. She knew that although the mystery hadn’t yet been solved, this other-worldly envoy had come not only to make her feel better, in the short-term, but to offer her something that would almost certainly prove to be meaningful in the long-term. She could wait; She knew she’d be back. And even though she had no idea when, in view of the fact that she’d already waited several aeons to be with Ben, another couple of weeks weren’t going make a
huge
difference.

     She returned to her bed, feeling strangely calm, and drifted off to sleep smiling and remembering the sacred scattering of pink rose-petals, upon the fast, vast, foamy ocean and the gentle eyes of the beautiful, raven-haired Angel who was her destiny...

As soon as she walked in through the door at work the next day, Geraldine was ambushed by a very excited Brogan who beamed at her incredulously. “Wow, you look happy!” She said, slightly amazed by Geraldine’s dramatic change of mood. She really had to be one of the most emotionally unpredictable people she knew. She was totally off with the fairies the majority of the time, and then up and down like a yoyo the rest. She seemed to expect so much out of life. It was sweet in a way. The world needed its dreamers. “Hon, you are
not
gonna believe who I think I saw yesterday in Bond Street!!??” Geraldine absent-mindedly unpacked her Angel cards and began to spread her favourite purple, velvet reading-cloth on the table in front of her. Brogan was unimpressed by her lack of interest. “No,
look
at me, darlin’, this is gonna’
blow
your socks off!!”

   “Okay,
who
did you see,” she said smiling good-naturedly. She stopped what she was doing and looked up, as Brogan summoned up all the drama she could possibly collect, to assist in announcing that single, earth-shattering syllable. “Ben!!!”

    “What!!!???”

    “Yep, I knew that’d make you sit up take notice.” Geraldine briefly thought of making a semantic issue of the fact that she was, in fact, standing, but it suddenly seemed senselessly pedantic and facetious in light of the context. Why was everyone so intent on
taunting
her about Ben? Why couldn’t they just leave her alone?!

    “Brogan, that’s not funny.”

    “Darlin’ I swear to God!! It was him... or a guy who looked just like him. He was going into one of those little boutiquey men’s designer shops, Paul something-or-other...” Geraldine gasped. Ben’s favourite shop! But how...

     “Oh my
God
!!!” Are you sure it was Ben?”

     “99 percent sure hon; if it wasn’t him it was a dude that looked
exactly
like him.”

    Geraldine sat down quickly. What on earth was Ben doing back in London, without getting in touch?! “Was he
with
anyone?”

      “Na, he was on his own...”

      “Are you
sure
it was him?” Brogan looked puzzled for a moment or two. She was almost beginning to doubt
herself
now. Surely this was
good
news, for Geraldine??!! She was completely thrown by Geraldine’s intransigent reaction, and suddenly ...just wasn’t sure anymore. After all, what
would
Ben be doing in London without getting in touch with Geraldine? And if he
was
in London and not getting in touch with her for some reason, was it really what she needed to hear right now?

      “Well, okay, it might
not
have been him. I only saw him from the back... and anyway, I’ve only seen ‘im a few times, hon, I could be
wrong,
I suppose.” Geraldine looked exasperated. “Still, on the bright side, nice to know there’s other dudes out there that look like him, right?” she said, grinning. Geraldine stared blankly at her and then shook her head in dismay. She just couldn't figure out what was going on! She was baffled by the weird signals she was getting from the universe. First of all there were her peculiar night-time visitations. Then there was that strange psychic sense of Ben’s energy still so strongly, around her ... and now this bewildering interjection from Brogan. What was she supposed to think? Brogan disappeared into a reading soon after she had begun that little thread of discussion, and was frustratingly impossible to pin down for the rest of the day. By the time the day was over, Geraldine was just about ready for her early-hours meeting with her ghostly friend. Someone out there had to have some answers! But, surely, it was coming to something when the encounters she had with the living were nowhere near as sensible or as satisfactory as the ones she had with the so-called dead!

      She was just about to leave for the day when she was caught off-guard by the light on her phone’s display.
Toby!
What could
Toby
possibly have to say to her?

      “Hi Geraldine; How are you doing?” Geraldine was stunned to hear his voice again and to notice what little effect it seemed to have on her now. “...Listen Gerry, before you say anything, there’s something I have to say. I’m so sorry about what happened the last time you called. It wasn’t the way it looked... or sounded.” Geraldine was mildly amused. How was it
possible
that things were never actually the way they looked or sounded in these situations? Did everyone who ever did anything dubious think that everyone else was either perpetually confused, visually-impaired, hard-of-hearing or just strangely witless and bewildered in
all
areas of cognitive perception? Or was the nature of reality
truly
so indefinable and ephemeral? She’d underestimated Toby...he was a true metaphysician. “I ...I mean, okay, that isn't quite true. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that none of it was planned... The whole thing just kind of took me by surprise, while I was trying to figure out what was going on between us... and with the whole business about Ben not being gay and, you know, I was just confused about a lot of things. Anyway, Geraldine, I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I’m really sorry things didn’t work out between us but .... I don’t know. I just feel bad about what happened the last time you called, and I wanted a chance to explain... to put things right. Not so we could get back together. I completely understand that that’s probably not on the cards... but...you know....” Geraldine smiled. Toby had no idea
how
not on the cards it was now, but she appreciated the good-will gesture. Even
he
had been right about her connection with Ben all along. Had she been the only one on the planet who
hadn’t
seen it?

    “Toby, it’s really,
really
okay,” she said, “Honestly. I’m happy you’ve found someone; no hard feelings.” Toby sighed. He sounded a bit depressed.

    “There is something else, though,” he said, “I wanted to ask you ...for a favour.” Geraldine was more than a bit curious, now.       

    “Okay, go for it,” she said.

    “Well, I kind of found out through a friend, who Ben is, you know, what he does....his ...job...” Geraldine smiled. She was so proud of Ben sometimes. His reputation was obviously spreading.  “Anyway, my...friend...Indira, read a couple of his
SMART MAGAZINE
columns and well...she suggested. Well, I wondered whether he might be able to...you know...” Toby cleared his throat before continuing. “I’m just not really sure I know how to
do
this whole....dating thing anymore....”

      “Oh, Toby, of
course
you do. You’re
great
at the whole dating thing, honestly. I should know.” She said, lovingly. Toby could almost feel the warmth coming through the receiver. He loved Geraldine. It was such a shame things hadn’t worked out between them. He had no idea why he'd suddenly felt so platonic towards her, but he liked the communication and the understanding they seemed to share. He didn’t have many female friends he could talk to in this way. It was a relief.

      “Hey, Toby, come on now. You really shouldn't be questioning yourself about anything right now. You are a
great
guy to go out with. You're a real catch! You're sensitive, hot, extremely well-educated, kind, sensitive, imaginative. Oh my God!! You've got so much going on!! And you definitely shouldn't be feeling bad about what happened with your...friend ..either. I hardly gave you anything to work with, in the love department, did I? And I'm truly, truly sorry about that. I think we've
all
just made some ...unusual choices ...at some point or other, that’s all, and iIn the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter in the end, does it, as long as we all find happiness
somewhere
along the way?” Toby sighed. This was precisely what he'd loved about Geraldine right from the start; she could always find the higher perspectives on these things. The woman was practically a living angel! “I’m sorry, Toby, really sorry... about the way things worked out...and about that whole Ben and Danny episode.” Toby started laughing.

      “That was funny though, huh?” He said, generously.

      “Yeah, I suppose so,” said Geraldine breaking into a rueful smile. Geraldine couldn’t help wondering what was happening between Toby and the woman who’d answered the phone that day but she decided it was none of her business. As far as she was concerned, Toby was a friend now...and by the sound of things, a friend in need. “Listen, Ben’s actually in New York at the moment, long story, and for the time being, the only reliable contact I have for him is his email address, I don’t know if that’s any good to you?! I mean how far are you prepared to travel? I’m sure he’ll be over for a visit at some point...”

      “Oh...that’s weird, said Toby.” Geraldine could feel the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck standing on end, giving her a quick heads-up on the fact that it was about to get even weirder. “Because a colleague of mine said she was on her way to see him yesterday evening after work. She said he was fully booked, and if you weren’t already on his roster...you had no chance of getting in... But I thought, well, since you know him so well, maybe you could, you know, put in a good word for me...” At this point, Geraldine didn’t know
what
to think...

      “Toby,” She said, “I don’t know what’s going on here but Ben told me he was moving to New York. I watched him pack. I waved him off in a cab... Are you sure
it’s
him
, she was going to see?”

      “If his name is Ben Wright, and he’s the
SMART MAGAZINE
,
“Loving, The Wright Way”
guy, then yes, it was definitely him!” Toby was getting a bit tired of this game now. Obviously Geraldine and Ben had their secrets and she was still, for whatever reason, trying to keep them from him. She was obviously intent on keeping the two of them apart, for whatever peculiar, Gerry reasons. Probably for the purpose of covering up even more lies, who knew! One way or another, it was patently clear that his first instincts about her and Ben were absolutely correct, and that however fascinating and beautiful she was, Geraldine was not to be trusted under any circumstances! He bristled slightly at the thought that he might have even been cuckolded by them at some point, but he was so over it now. Nevertheless, despite himself, he suddenly felt his irritation rising again. The woman was a practiced liar. She was obviously incapable of being normal and straightforward. And now that he thought about it, that whole Danny and Ben episode
hadn’t
been funny at all. In fact, now that he
really
came to think of it ... it had been insanely deceptive and ...weird. Geraldine must really think he was an idiot. How could she not know
exactly
where Ben was when they were obviously so close? He decided there and then that he’d had enough of the whole business to last him a lifetime. He didn’t care if the two of them were secretly married by now. He just wanted to make some changes in his
own
life, changes that no longer even
concerned
Geraldine in that sense. “Look, Gerry, if you don’t want to help me, its okay.”

    “Toby,
honestly
, I would
love
to help you. I really, really would,” she said, remembering their troubled life together as Charlotte and William Whittaker. “I just, really,
really
don’t know where Ben
is
at the moment.” Geraldine was suddenly determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, and deeply frustrated on Toby’s behalf, as well as her own. It must have taken a lot for him to call her like this and to ask about Ben helping him out. Then suddenly, an idea struck her. “Listen, Toby, I’ve got an idea.” she said, somewhat wildly. “If you can help me to find Ben, you know, find out where he’s staying, maybe ask this colleague of yours, I promise I will do
everything
I can to get you an appointment. I’m not promising anything, but I can assure you of one thing, at this moment in time, I have as much information about Ben’s whereabouts as you do.”

    Toby suddenly wasn’t so sure he wanted Ben’s help anymore. In fact, he just wasn’t so sure he wanted to get involved at all! His guy-sense told him that, surely, if a clued-up guy like Ben was hiding out from Geraldine somewhere, there
had
to be a good reason. He was beginning to get the distinct impression that he was only just beginning to scratch the surface of the incredible unpredictability that might lie beneath Gerry’s calm exterior, and he wasn’t sure it was something he wanted to excavate any further. After all, why
would
a guy like Ben be hiding out from
anyone
? The man was practically a celebrity! Surely it wouldn't do his career any good whatsoever to be hiding out like a hunted animal, just when he seemed to be on such a stellar trajectory of achievement and notoriety! What had Geraldine done to make the guy so scared?