Primal Scream (Box Set #1, Taboo Sex + AFF) (29 page)

She thought to herself:
How hot/wet should this kiss be?
Boring as it was, Drea guessed she would keep it neutral, which she did…she gave a light, tentative kiss to his shaven cheek…a very careful, non-sloppy kiss. That was her first kiss to a guy. She still hadn’t been kissed!

He smiled as she turned to go, and—God knows how quick it must have looked—he pinched (the left side of) her butt, in between the cheek and thigh…a sweet, exact spot. Drea was immediately convinced that he must be extremely experienced. She turned back and shyly smiled from ear to ear (showing no teeth), before checking the bag of items, and slipping away.

6pm

(Drea’s Ongoing Thoughts)

Wow omg the Israeli Dude…

Still soaking in the delights of his touch, still crazy over smooth moves from a dude I hardly know a thing about. Just spent an hour aimlessly wandering around VivaCity.

I was trying to smell him—didn’t really detect a scent, but just an outwardly undetectable but probably clean/fresh scent…

Googled the company website and his name. For more info. Too irresistible not to check, blame it on the iPhone in hand.

First on the results page = a Facebook profile of the same name, “Nir Balsar.” Didn’t think it would be him, but it definitely is him in the profile picture (at a club? Having a drink with a feisty, fun female? She looks Israeli also)—maybe his wife or girlfriend!

I saw his birthdate, OMG, 20 October 1987 (younger than me by a year!)…which means he really IS a Libra Sun / Venus Scorpio combination also (oh my!!).

He was seductive…but not in an overtly sexual way? That was nice. It really was hot but somehow understated/discreet. Wow the leg in between the knees, that was really explosive.

Omg…what if I just got played out again? He was just playing with me. Another Libra player!

Art of seduction. Why can’t I be that skilled too?

If I’d backed off he wouldn’t have continued it “in stages”…it all started with holding and stroking my hand…I wish I could’ve kissed him on the lips (in private)…would’ve totally fired him up good…I was so near his crotch…just inches away…

9pm

Drea met her friend for dinner at a Japanese restaurant, at the top floor of a tall building. They were seated next to a glass window, at a table which overlooked the city nightscape.

Drea didn’t want to talk only about herself, but since Shu Xin asked Drea to “entertain her,” as life had gotten “fairly uninteresting lately,” Drea blabbered the whole account of meeting Nir, the “Israeli Dude,” and wanting to meet him again, for another kind of transaction, this time.

Shu Xin looked at Drea, her close friend of nine and a half years, and counting. She knew all about Jack. All of Drea’s close friends did. They never deserted her, even when they’d heard the same old story a hundred times. That was how Drea knew she had really good friends, a fact she never took for granted.

“
You know…” Drea said to Shu Xin. “I just wanna do it. I don’t even care if I
die
from an STD, in the process.”

“
No, don’t say that!” Shu Xin smiled. Shu Xin had her Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Venus planets in the sign of Scorpio. All was fair to her in the realm of love and war. “You still have a long life ahead, and a lot to live for…”

Shu Xin mentioned that the “Israeli Dude” could be a sleaze ball. “He could be faking it, for the sales.”

Shu Xin was a little bit worried for Drea. But if this could help Drea “move on” from Jack, Shu Xin could understand why Drea would want to go for it.

Drea truly didn’t care if she died from an STD. Her whole body was now obsessed with Nir. Not his character or person, but his sensuous, unhurried touches, his body, his physical moves which Jack had once promised, but never delivered.

“
I don’t care if the Israeli Dude is a terrorist, or if he got me to kill people,” Drea said, manic, almost. “I have to do it…I just have to.”

Drea was big-eyed, like a deer in the headlights. But she was dead focused, at the same time.

“
Well,” Shu Xin replied, resting an elbow against the inner banister before the glass window. “Then I think you should go after Nir, and just do it—if that’s your reasoning. That it’ll break you free, once and for all, from Jack.”

* * *

Saturday, 12 June, 2010 | 11.19am

(Drea’s Journal)

Damn, thinking non-stop about the uber hot Israeli guy…he’d be a good lover in bed…really feel like asking him if a one night stand is possible…oh man oh man oh man…immediately passed through my mind: “can I just go down on you / for a discount / on the skincare products?” – LOL!!

Omg,
perfect
touches…I don’t care if he’s like that with all customers…I want a piece of his ass…just…thought of Jack at the last minute (a few minutes before Nir…smacked/pinched my ass as I left? REALLY HAWT)…why?

The Israeli Dude Can Help Me.

Should I? Should I? I have his namecard. Email. Cell number.

Wow I just felt like spreading my legs out 4 him…was so nice stroking my back / keeping his leg between my knees…I’m sure he has sex very easily (unlike SOME people)…& the products are nice…oh man he’s the same age…really unbelievable…I can’t stand dating…it’s so fake…just be yourself, horny or no—

Saturday, 12 June, 2010 | 4.29pm

(Drea’s Journal)

Wow Raffles Medical Clinic (24 hours open) = DAMN NICE…it’s about $6 more than neighbourhoood clinics…I went to get emergency birth control pills, for standby. The doc was so funny…he asked when I “had intercourse,” I said “either today or tomorrow (not confirmed yet)”…and he asked “when was the last time you took
Postinor
?”, that’s the name of the pill…so I said “I had it a long time ago, but I ended up not using it,” and I was grinning like an idiot, and he almost laughed, but became all serious again, then started to hum a tune when he was signing some kind of form on my records…before putting on a serious face again, lol…that was shortly after lunchtime…my God I’ve never spent so long roaming around in an absolute mindhaze…

Saturday, 12 June, 2010 | 6.59pm

(Drea’s Journal)

Wow, Jack speaks so fast, man. I called him on his cell. He talks like a bullet train…I sent 6 messages through the day…then I called and he picked up within the first ring…who answers the phone while having a haircut? He said he’ll call back later. Right.

Shu Xin’s boyfriend is damn cool! He said Jack should “be a man about it,” and give a straight/direct answer, since this has a “history” and has been going on for quite long….SX was trying to talk me outta having a possible one night stand with Nir, hahahaha. She has a point…said smth like how no matter what, he’s still a guy and therefore “stronger” / will be physically stronger than me, in the sense that he’d be able to hit me or literally do whatever else he wanted, etc etc etc.

Israeli Dude = yet another fantasy (maybe). But why should it just remain a fantasy.

But Jack…I really would like to just spend some time with him…maybe I’d hoped he’d acknowledge that something did transpire/pass between us, albeit in a very non-synchronized way…

He nullifies…all the feelings, it seems.

I can tell him things no one else can…yet it’s all like nothing to him?

Like he believes nothing lasts.

And that it all can’t be real.

He WANTS to be kept shut alone in his box, where he doesn’t have to ‘deal’ with ‘messy’ or ‘difficult’ things if he doesn’t want to. He is just wired that way.

Reality is the illusion and illusion is reality with the Gemini…xept you cannot fool a Virgo…ha ha ha.

He’s felt/known things over the course of a week…which I can take up to a year and more to feel/know too!

His idea of love is spotless—yet he can be kinda cruel/inhumane sometimes too, whether or not that’s his intent. His good side is so pure…but when he’s bad, he puts the ‘evil’ in ‘devil’.

And he pretends to not exist…coz that way, everything that happened (good/bad) never existed either…

He can inspire another person so much, and not allow the same to happen for himself.

Still thinking of Nir…my physical body screams for satisfying sex…I’m just too tired of nothing / of nothing happening.

I mean iffff I go by VivaCity again tomorrow…which is where the Israeli Dude is or might be…he might not even be there, haha.

All I need is another half an hour, anywhere…a body is built for movement, exercise, and sex…I need it too badly…I cannot nullify myself anymore…I can’t be like Jack…he’s a disease (DIS-EASE) I have to extricate from my system.

* * *

III. Future

Sunday, 15 June 2010 | 10.20am

(Drea’s Journal)

I have in my black leather bag: Durex [extra safe]. Bought it yesterday after visiting the doc. I think the Malay guy at the counter might have been a bit younger than me. He charged me $1 less—I only noticed on the receipt later. Is it because I’m female?? LOL!

I think I’m PMS-ing and y’know, right at the / around the “horniest” time of the month…the thing with Jack…the sexual part…I feel like I can’t ever make my clean break from him once and for all…if that sexual part is never addressed. I dunno why.

If I have sex with Nir, I would totally message Jack:
“I did it with this Israeli Dude!”

Shu Xin understands the “vengeance.” It’s true, do you understand why I am driven to this extreme? The IDEALS I adhere to…the noblest intentions I had…all the love in the world did not do anything…I didn’t get the relationship I thought I could find…I have to DO it with someone else…coz that would be reality…not just in my head.

I need to be EMANCIPATED

I NEED to find Nir/Israeli Dude today I already wasted all of yesterday just “thinking about it,” and tomorrow morning = airport / back to Aus

Nothing might happen

But at least I would’ve tried…and it would count also (the sexual move forward / “to something new”)

But it has to be DONE in ACTION, not thought

* * *

Sunday, 15 June 2010 | 4.22pm

Drea bought a Chili Dark Chocolate Bar (something ‘hot’ and ‘exotic,’ like Nir), wrapped in red and black, and roamed around the labyrinth of stores at VivaCity, until she found a small card with a design (a sinewy black Eastern dragon on a red clay jar) that perfectly matched the chocolate bar’s wrapper.

She figured she’d be more comfortable writing it down, and handing a note to Nir. She’d be too jittery and nervous to proposition him, verbally.

She scribbled a quick note in the blank card:

Thanks for showing me the products the other day.

I really enjoyed your touches—they were smooth like chocolate.

I’d like to have more of them in private, if you don’t mind.

Would you be free tonight?

She signed off as “Drea” and wrote down her cell phone number.

She pulled herself together—once she did, she operated with laser-like accuracy, and made her way straight to the ZIVAH: Dead Sea Natural Beauty
kiosk.

Drea saw two females standing at the kiosk. She looked around. She spotted the same Lee Hwa middle-aged employee, inside the Lee Hwa store, tending to a customer. But she didn’t see Nir anywhere.

Nir Balsar, N.B.,
Drea thought to herself.
No Backbone—like Jack?—oh no—okay, stop being so paranoid…

“
Is Nir here?” Drea asked the lady at the counter, who had been conversing with a slightly overweight, plainly-dressed girl, standing at the side. Drea rarely interrupted conversations, and always acknowledged the people around her. But not this time. She hardly noticed the plainly-dressed girl—
I dress better, the lady at the counter is going to give me her attention,
Drea deduced—and was here to find out where Nir was. That was all. That summed up the purpose and existence of the two females in front of her.