Sebastian: The Complete Series (27 page)

“Look…” He laughed with me. “You can pack the job in, the age… We can't do anything about that. It will always be there.”

“So, telling your family—friends, whatever, about me, you'd be more worried about telling them how old I am rather than what I do for a living.” I looked to the ceiling, biting my bottom lip as I ran through the two conversations he could have. ‘Hey my new boyfriend happens to be nineteen.’ Or, ‘Hey my boyfriend’s a whore who sleeps with men for money.’ I shook my head and looked back to him. “I'd choose the age thing any day if I were you.”

“I don’t intend telling anyone what you do, well, Jacob knows, but that’s about it.”

“Good.” I smiled, but inside I felt a big kick in the gut and the thought he would always be ashamed of me, and how we met, ran through me faster than Lewis Hamilton on a winning lap. “It’s not like I advertise what I do. Not to my family anyway. Christ.” I grinned as I took another bite of his cooking. “My mum would go mental.” I tried to wash away the worry by downing my wine and I felt his hand on mine, clasping it gently in his heavy, calloused grip.

“Sebastian…”

“It’s okay. Really, I understand. It’s not like I'm proud of what I do. Before…” I waved my empty glass around the table. “Well, I never even thought about it. I just thought it would be fun, and maybe it would have been if we hadn't… you know. Fucked up things so much.” I was refilling my glass as I spoke, not thinking, and just blurting out shit to keep my mind from collapsing in itself. “Maybe I would feel the same way even if we’d never met again, who knows.”

He stopped me from draining my second glass with a firm look and his hand over the top of my glass. “I'm guessing some people can do this job for years and it never bothers them, but I'm also guessing you won't be one of those people, Seb.”

“Yeah, maybe. I don’t know.” I toyed with my fork, tapping it on the plate as I thought. With all the shit going on at home, I felt like just slamming the door on everything and never looking back. “I'm different. Everyone says so. I guess maybe they knew I wouldn’t be available long and made the most out of it. Or maybe that was me.” My head was swimming with too many thoughts all of a sudden.

Robert was sliding his arm around my waist, pulling me onto his knee and cradling my body in his comforting hold. “You can't solve everything in one night. Don’t try and do it.” After holding each other for a few minutes, he turned my head to him and smiled. “Eat some more and then we can go to bed.”

Not really being in the mood to eat, I kissed his neck, shifting closer to him. “Let’s just go to bed.”

“Eat first, then bed.” He rubbed his chin on my cheek, his stubble caressing my skin and making me smile against his musky smelling flesh. “You last ate hours ago, and it wasn’t exactly good food, just fast-food which leaves you wanting something else after an hour. And…” His hot lips worked their way down my jaw. “I cooked it for you.”

I laughed loudly, pulling back and looking into his smiling eyes. “Guilt? Really? O.M.G, my mum used to do that.”

“Did it work?” Robert grinned at me.

“No.”

“Well, maybe I have new tactics to try out on you.”

“Bring them on, big boy.”

Robert was obviously up for my challenge and I watched his finger run around the edge of his plate, catching some sauce before moving it to my lips and gently sliding it over my mouth, enticing me to open up and let it in, which I did. My lips parted just enough for his fingers to slip in, licking the sauce from him then sucking his finger as he pulled it out. Both of us caught the other’s hungry gaze, and I gave him my sexiest smile, the one I knew made his cock hard.

“Hmmm. Very nice.” It was when I saw his hand moving closer to me, the fork he was holding lifting some chicken to my mouth that I paused. “You're feeding me? Seriously?” I gave a loud huff, clamping my lips firmly shut and staring into his eyes.

“Sebastian…” His other hand was on my cock, rubbing my softly and we both moaned when I reacted to his tender touches. “Open up.”

I was caught off guard, my mind slipping into that hazy state which always happened when he touched me, and my mouth fell open in another soft moan as his hand covered my swelling length, working his palm over my head and pressing firmer. The food was in my mouth before I knew it and I gave him the most pissed off glare I could do while enjoying his hand on my cock and his delicious food in my mouth. He fed himself some noodles as he smiled at me chewing.

“You're enjoying this far too much,” I whispered against his lips after swallowing.

“Hmm, it seems I am.” He moved my hand from his thigh up to his own cock tightly compacted in his suit pants and we both smiled. This time he'd picked up a piece of chicken with his fingers, sliding it into my open mouth, my lips clamping around it as he slipped it slowly from my lips, both of us staring into the other’s eyes as it plopped free. “Sebastian…” The sexy gravely sound to his deeper voice made me smile, my hand encasing his length as I ate. “There's nothing you do which doesn’t make me want you.”

Apparently it went both ways, because the thought of sitting on someone’s lap and being handfed like some puppy really didn’t appeal to me, but there I was, happily waiting for him to press another piece of food into my eager mouth, my body reacting like I was on all fours and he was fucking me. Between moans and pants, I ate from his thick fingers, sucking and licking the sauce from them while he spread kisses up and down my neck, rolling his palm over my now rigid cock as I ate.

I didn’t want him to stop, it was too sensual. I’d never been one for patience, waiting was a stupid idea. It was just putting off my pleasure, but this… It was one of the most erotic things I'd played a part in and it was driving me to the brink of madness waiting for the next piece of food, his finger in my mouth, lips on my throat, hand on my cock.

I threw my head back, breathing out through my nose as I released his finger, trying to swallow my food and not choke while I groaned for him and his touch. “Robert…” He was rolling my joggers down, sliding his hand inside and massaging my cock in slow strokes. “Fuck!” I jerked my hips forward, hissing as he rolled his palm over my wet head. “Robert.”

He stopped feeding me, letting me concentrate on his hand moving up and down my shaft. I clung onto him as I felt my peak hit. “Come for me, Sebastian,” he whispered the words against my jaw and I felt my balls lift tighter, my cock stiffen, tensing in his hand. “That’s it. Come now.”

“Robert!” I came hard, shooting off over both of us.

“You're so fucking hot.” I was being lifted onto the table, still out of it and disoriented by the aftershocks of bliss running through me, then my thighs were parted, my joggers round my knees and his tongue licking me clean.

He was kissing me, licking and sucking where my cum had shot over me, moaning as he fed from me. “Sebastian.” The low moan of him enjoying me stepped up my own excitement gain, and I grabbed his hair in my fists, pulling his mouth to my cock where I lifted my hips into his mouth as he sucked me inside, swirling his tongue around my softening cock and draining my shocked balls of any cum I still had. 

“Turn over.” He was already spinning me around, swiping the plates from us, the sound of cutlery and glasses smashing to the floor making me shoot a quick look at the now messy tiles beside us as my face hit the wood of the table. “I'm still hungry.”

Before I could even think of a response, he was nibbling on my cheeks, parting them, spreading kisses further inside until he reached my hole. One wet kiss was pressed on my opening and I stopped breathing, stopped thinking, everything in the universe stopped and there was just his mouth on me, his wet tongue rolling over my hole, our moans filling the room as he pressed inside me, spreading my cheeks wider, his gruff touches and stubbles turning me on as his cheeks ground against my tender flesh.

His moans picked up and I could feel his now naked thighs on the back of mine, his hand moving in between us as he jerked his cock.

“Robert.” His name fell from my lips as he ground deeper into me, working my hole open and making me cry out for more.

When he pulled back, finding my eyes, he came over me, turning his attention to his cream coating my entrance and growling out my name as he covered me. “Fuck, Sebastian.”

I grinned at him and he chuckled. “Feeling less hungry now?”

“Strangely enough, I feel hungrier than ever.” He ran his finger through the warm mess he'd made on my hole, placing a nice bit of pressure over it until he pushed his finger inside me. “So hungry.”

I watched his gaze turn back to my body accepting him, enjoying the feeling of him slipping inside me and how much pleasure he got from it. When he bent forwards, rolling his tongue around his fingers as it shifted deeper into me, we both choked out a moan. I was begging for more and he gave me it. Two fingers were now inside me, stretching me just right and hitting me like he had x-ray eyes and could see exactly where I needed him to be. Collapsing onto the table like a rag doll, I gave up trying to stay conscious and just let his fingers fuck me deeper, brushing constantly on my prostate as he licked and sucked me.

Aware of only how my body was climbing higher, everything else slipped away, leaving just the intense build-up of pleasure happening to me, filling and expanding inside me, like a fizzy bottle of coke which had just been dropped on the floor, my body was full of pressure, searching for a way out. I felt it fill me, blinding me as I wept, body aching and screaming for the end. Just when I thought it would never come, I exploded, my cork shooting free as my orgasm ripped through every inch of me.

He was hovering over me, kissing my shoulders as I came back to the land of the living and looked into his eyes. “Welcome back.” He grinned at me, and then moved me gently backwards so I was sitting on his knee again, my floppy body collapsing against him as I closed my eyes again.

“I adore you,” he whispered against my neck, gently tracing my cheek with his fingertip.

He made me smile, and I dug my face into his neck and sighed internally.

I love you.

R
obert stretched his arms above his head as I sat propped up against the headboard on the bed in his room, watching every muscle he had tense and stretch as he reached for the high ceiling, wriggling his spine, and trying to manipulate the ache he must have but never mentioned.

“Why don’t you lay down and I’ll help you relax.” The grin on my face when Robert turned to look at me was so wide it hurt, and he chuckled as he knelt at the foot of the bed, giving me a chance to take in his body as he began to crawl to me, laying soft kisses starting at my ankle before working up my calf. “Robert…” I drifted off when he licked the underneath of my knee, my legs slipping into that jelly phase already.

“Yes?” He grinned up at me before placing another kiss on my knee, sucking it softly while he looked into my eyes. “Is there a problem?”

“Yes. You not being up here with me.”

“I’ll get there. In time.” Another kiss was left delicately on the inside of my thigh.

“Your own sweet ass time by the looks of it.” My whole body jerked when he nibbled on the same spot. “Robert!”

“Ticklish?”

“No.” A lie, but… “Stop it.” He was running his fingertip over the same place and I’d broken out into goose bumps. “Maybe a bit.”

“A bit?” Robert chuckled before kissing me again, working up my thighs, sharing his lips on both my legs as he straddled me, slowly crawling forwards as he went. “Hmm.” He grinned, running his finger from my balls to behind my knee again, the contact making my spine go rigid. “Hmm, you’re so sensitive. I love it.”

“Uh huh. I can guarantee you, I'm not ticklish there.”

“Oh, I know that. After all, I've spent a good deal of time with my lips wrapped around that part of you. The rest of you, well, I need more time with your body. To find out every little part of you, learn where all the special spots are which will make you turn to jelly and your cock even harder.” He kissed me, laying his body over mine as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “We need time, Seb.”

“We’ll have it,” I whispered against his lips.

“How much?”

“Is there a minimum or maximum amount we’re supposed to have?” I kissed him quickly, pulling back so I could look into eyes.

“As much as we can.”

“We will do. I promise.”

Robert moved to lie beside me, running his fingers through my hair while he glanced over my face. “I don’t think I could ever get enough time with you.”

He sighed heavily before lying on his back and looking at the ceiling. “I'm trying hard not to be possessive and too demanding, but I won't lie to you, I feel those two things very strongly with you. I'm not easy going or laid back where you're concerned. I dislike sharing you in any way, and it just about kills me thinking of you being with other men. That's only going to get worse, and I'm trying really hard to work out how I’ll cope letting you go off and knowing you’ll be with others. That they’ll touch you, kiss you. Fuck! Even other men looking at you drives my blood pressure through the roof.” He turned to me, smiling softly as I bent down to kiss him. “I don’t trust easily. You have no idea how much this pisses me off.”

“Wanting me has always pissed you off.”

“Wanting you is easy. It’s not having you which is difficult.”

Sliding closer to him, I wrapped my arm over his chest, playing with the dark hair running down it, resting my head on his chest and listening to the rhythm of his heart beating in his chest.

“And if you got me… If I was just yours… What then?”

Robert took my hand from him and kissed my knuckles. “Then I'd hope we’d both be happy and continue to be happy for a long time. Forever maybe.”

Forever.

It made me shake my head, because that seemed ridiculous to even think about. How could I think about ten years into the future when I didn’t know what I was going to do tomorrow?

Would love be enough between us? If he could love me that is.

“Is it just me you don’t trust?”

“No…” He paused, kissing me on the top of my head and wrapping me up in his tight embrace. “I'm used to questioning anything and everything, looking for answers or solutions which sometimes aren’t even needed. Not just relationship-wise, but in everything I do. Before you, I’d not even considered meeting anyone. I’d not been with anyone in over six months when we first had sex.”

Thinking back to our first night and how rampant and wild he'd been, it made more sense for him to act that out of character with me if he’d been without sex for so long. “Why?”

“Because… because I'd just broke up with someone. Someone I'd been seeing for a while.”

Rebound echoed in my mind so loud it I should have been on a cliff edge screaming it out. “How long?”

He cleared his throat, and I could feel him playing for time. “A few years.” I poked him in the chest and he sighed. “Seven years.”

“Seven years…” I drifted off, not knowing how or what to say to him. “Did he cheat? Is that why you left him?”

“No… He… It was…” Robert drifted off and when I turned to look at him, I found him staring into the distance, chewing on his bottom lip. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault. There was no one to blame. It just ended. Drifted apart. We spent more time apart than together most times, and when we were together, it seemed strained and difficult. I felt like I was coming home to old friend who I used to have lots in common with once, but now knew nothing about. I don’t know how it happened.”

“Did you love him?”

“Yes.” Robert stroked my hair and frowned as he closed his eyes. “Once.”

“But not now?”

"Do you think I'd fuck around and think about being with you if I was still in love with someone else?” Robert glared into my eyes. “If I wanted to be with him, I'd be with him.”

“So he'd have you back? You ended it, didn’t you, and he doesn’t feel the same way? He wants you back.”

Robert paused with his mouth open, and then lifted his brow. “You got all that from what I just said?”

“Call it a gift. I read between the lines.” I lay back on the bed, shifting from him. “Am I right?” I knew I was.

“Yes.”

“Right.”

Robert sat up, resting back against the headboard and taking a drink from the bottle of water by the bed. “It was over before we separated. Over a long time ago. It was just… convenient not to end things. Easier. He was never going to be the one. I’d accepted I wasn’t madly in love, I thought he felt the same way. We cared for each other, we were happy for a while, but then I woke up and saw how we were wasting each other’s time. Breaking up wasn’t easy for either of us, but it was something we had to do.”

“
You
had to do by the sounds of it.”

“You're taking
his
side?” Robert threw me a frown. “You don’t know him, or hardly anything about what we had. Don’t think you’re able to comment so flippantly and sound so confident when you can't possibly understand what happened.”

Oh, touchy subject.

He sounded hurt and tense. Okay, so breaking up is always hard, but that wasn’t what was bothering him. It was the fact he thought I'd agreed with his ex. “So... did your parents really like him?”

“What the… Why does that even matter?”

“Did they?” I shifted over his thighs, sitting on them and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Yes,” he breathed out and shook his head. “My mum and him are great friends.”

“Oh right.” That caused a problem, well, two. One, his mum would hate me instantly, and two, she and him would probably meet up and bitch about me and Robert. It would be a huge issue for us. “Let me guess, she’s all for you and him getting back together, right?”

Robert looked into my eyes with those puppy dog brown eyes and nodded. “She took
his
side.”

“I thought there weren’t sides? That it was amicable and what you both wanted?” I smiled smugly. The other guy didn’t want the break up. He was probably crying on Robert’s mums shoulders every time they met up and pining for his return.

“I didn’t think there would be. Despite trying to work things out, I knew there was no point. There were arguments, but we parted friends. It’s just after so long… people get used to us both being together. It’s taken ages for everyone I know to stop asking about him. Inviting us both out. It’s… irritating. One of the reasons why staying together made things easier. For both of us.”

“You use this
us
a lot, but I get the feeling it’s
you,
not the royal we.”

Robert looked blankly into my eyes for a moment, then gave up and groaned. “Yeah, okay, maybe.”

I chuckled as I kissed him. “There's no harm in that, Robert. If you're not happy, you're not happy. The other guy could love you like you were his whole world, but that won't change how you feel. It’s sad, but not your fault. He’s not trying to get you back or anything, is he?”

Robert grinned. “I'm not going back. I moved on a long time ago. I knew when I met you what I'd been missing out on in my life. You're what I want, Sebastian. What I really need. You gave me the kick up the arse to get my life back in order.”

The screechy voice in my head shouted ‘Rebound!!!’

“And before me, there was no one?”

“No. I told you, no one caught my eye. I've never wanted anyone like I want you.”

“And I'm different. Everything about me is different, right? You said that.”

He must have seen the worry I felt and he reached up, cupping my face in his hands before kissing me. “I'm not going anywhere, Sebastian.”

“Okay, but… Can I just say the words which are running around in my head?”

“Sure.” He kissed me again.

“Rebound guy,” I whispered huskily against his mouth.

“Baby…” He laughed loudly while he spun me around, pressing me to the mattress with his big frame and smiling down at me. “That's not what you are to me.”

“I will be to everyone else.”

“If you're going to care what everyone else is going to think about us, then you’d better grow a thicker skin, Seb, because I'm pretty sure it won't be easy for either of us. Don’t worry what everyone else thinks about you and me, just think about us. Opinions are like noses, everyone has one. They’re all slightly different and get stuck in places they shouldn’t be.” He grinned at me and I chuckled. “We just don’t have to give as shit about it.” He smiled down at me, kissing me again before he nuzzled his face into my neck. “I want to fight for us, Sebastian.”

I sighed heavily. I wanted the same thing, but I wondered just how hard we would have to fight and who against. I didn’t want to cause issues between him and his mum. “Your mum will hate me.”

Robert chuckled before sucking my earlobe. “She won't. She just needs to see I'm happier with you than Leo.”

“Leo, huh?”

Robert stiffened against me, and then groaned. “I'm sorry, it’s not appropriate to—”

“No, it’s fine. It’s okay.” I pressed my palm on his chest, lifting up and kissing him slowly and softly. “Is he going to be a problem?”

“Only if you let him become one. He’s not to me.”

“And if he’s bitching about us, whispering snide words into your mum’s ear and sowing doubts about us to her?”

Robert nodded, looking at the headboard and slipping into his own thoughts. “I'd speak to him… and her. I don’t want you to worry you're causing a huge issue in my life. You're not. I want you right here, Sebastian.”

“In your bed.” It slipped out before I could stop it and I watched his eyes darken as he shifted off me to his side of the bed. “I'm sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He was hurt and it showed in the little shake in his voice. “You're going to have trust issues with me, just like I have them with you. Just be aware that what I meant when I said I wanted you right here, I didn’t just mean my bed, or the kitchen table, or the shower…” He smiled at me. “I want you here.” He pressed my hand over his chest and I grinned like a child.

“I want to be there too, Robert.” Christ, I wanted it so badly I could taste it. I snuggled into him, worrying about his ex, his mum, why he didn’t love me like I loved him. “I want you to trust me.”

“I want the same thing from you.”