Sebastian: The Complete Series (31 page)

“We still need to talk about that kiss,” I whispered against Robert’s neck.

“Later.” Robert held my hand, squeezing it softly.

His step-dad was already standing as we approached, his mum looking like she was about to skin Robert alive if her pursed lips, narrowed eyes and rapidly tapping fingernails were anything to go by. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all. Maybe,
just maybe
, this should have happened in private.

“I'm sorry,” Robert apologised quickly, looking between both his parents. “This is my fault.”

“It’s Leo’s fault,” I blurted out, shocking myself, and I mentally stitched my lips together so I wouldn’t do it again.

“Well, yes.” Robert sighed heavily. “Let me introduce you to Sebastian. The man I was speaking about the last time we met. Sebastian, this is my mother, Charlotte, and my step-dad, Jeremy.”

There was this slightly awkward moment where no one moved or said anything, then his step-dad’s years of etiquette training kicked in and he offered his hand. “Sebastian.” I shook it without saying anything, and then he motioned to the table. “Won't you sit down and join us for a drink?” He looked over at Harry and they shook hands. “I had dinner with your grandmother last week. She mentioned you were moving back home. It’s nice to see you again, Sheridan.”

I really, really tried not to chuckle, but it happened.

Harry sat down, a grin on his face as he and I settled next to each other.

“Can I call you Sherry?” I whispered into his ear.

“No.”

F
oie gras!! Okay, I didn’t know what that was, and stupidly went with beef spread because it kinda looked like it, but guess what? It’s not. “So… it’s the liver from a fat duck, which spent all its life with a tube down its neck being force fed until they decided he was fat enough to kill, and now it’s on my plate in mousse form and you expect me to eat this?” I glared at Harry. It was his fault because he’d ordered it.

Harry simply ignored me, spreading the iccy meaty stuff on his fancy toast. “It’s one of my favourites. You haven't even tasted it. How do you know you don’t like it?”

Our friend Thomas had kindly remembered our order from before and offered to bring a fresh serving along with the order Robert and his parents made just before the shit hit the fan. So there I was, looking at it on my plate, not really being in the mood for food, and certainly not in the mood for that shit.

“Foie gras is a bone of contention for some people.” Charlotte, or Lottie as his mum had asked I call her, smiled at me. “I never order it,” she whispered over the rim of her wine glass. “Sheridan—”

“Harry, please.” Harry winced every time someone used his posh name.

“Harry,” she corrected herself with a smile. “Maybe now Sebastian knows what it is, he could order something else. Robert, order him the French Onion soup. It’s gorgeous here.”

A soup made out of just onions? “Erm.”

“It has cheese on it,” Harry offered unhelpfully.

“I'm not really hungry any—”

“If he likes cheese, just get a platter.” Jeremy was obviously over the whole deciding thing and snapped his fingers for the server. “Take that away and bring out a cheese platter for one. Oh, and another bottle of wine.”

Robert sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He could tell I was tense and he knew food and me being tense didn’t go down too well, but at least cheese was simple and something I could nibble on.

“Cheese is fine with me. Thanks.” I ran my hand up Robert’s thigh, holding it firmly.

The whole atmosphere felt off, and with good reason. I'm not exactly what they would have hoped their son would have fallen in love with. At least the thought of Robert loving me made me smile and feel warm inside. It made all this worthwhile.

“So, Sebastian.” His mum reached over and gently caressed my hand on the table. “Robert has told me about you before. It’s nice to finally meet you. I'm just sorry it was in such an… erm, unexpected manner.” She flashed a look mums pull off better than anyone else at Robert. The one where you just know you will be talking later and it won't be good. “If I’d known you were in London, I would have invited you over for tea sometime. Which, of course, I will still do.”

“Thank you.” I was distracted by the waiter delivering my cheese, or what I thought was cheese. I mean, how can cheese not look like cheese? Can't food just look like what it’s supposed to be and not some intricately carved piece of art? I couldn't guess what type of cheese was on it, and I carefully sliced off a piece of the one which looked like cheddar and tasted it. Robert gently ran his hand over my shoulders, rubbing them, and I felt myself relax a little.

“It’s a fashion I've noticed with the young men of today—” Jeremy began slowly, drawling out his upper class accent and making me slide my eyes to him. “—to be very slim. Not that it’s new, of course. My father was a young man during the 1940s and it was quite the fashion then. I thought we’d seen the last of suits like these.” He smiled as he glanced over me and Harry. “All those thick set lads with big muscles. Thought men had decided to be bigger forever. Of course, some are just naturally bigger.” He smiled at Robert. “Nothing wrong with it.”

He wasn’t exactly big himself, smaller than Robert’s build, but tall. Good-looking in a very refined gentleman type of way. He had nice eyes, soft green, which sparkled when the light hit them just right. I wasn’t too sure if it was his English politeness or if he really just didn’t care about my meltdown, but he wasn’t being mean to me.

“It’s a class thing,” Harry spoke up when he shouldn’t. “Thicker set men have, and always will be, presumed to be working class down to their size. Manual labour and all that crap. Slimmer and less muscle mean you have people to do all that sort of thing for you. Perhaps that's what you're seeing, Jeremy. It’s like having tanned skin, it meant you worked outside in the fields, and pale skin meant you spent all day inside, being comforted in the shade while you watched those around you sweat in the sun.”

The air dropped by a few degrees and I dug my foot in his ankle.

Jeremy smirked at him, using that snobby look which I'd seen on Harry too many times to count. “Of course, your obvious distaste for the class system would hold more weight if you weren’t the epitome of what you detest.”

Harry pursed his lips together and then took a big drink. “Genetically, I had no choice. I blame inbreeding. Also, another irritating but common occurrence in the aristocracy. Undeniable as you and your first wife were cousins, My Lord.”

“Shut up,” I growled out at him.

“It’s the truth.”

“So is you being a
huge dick
, but no one’s mentioned that so far, have they? Oh, oops.” I covered my mouth, attempting my mock-innocent look, and Robert laughed. “Anyway, it’s been commonplace throughout history for the ruling classes to marry within their own family. I could tell you all the Pharaohs who married their sisters just to keep the bloodline pure, or the Roman emperors… the list is a long one though. We could be here some time.”

“Let’s not turn this into an historical debate, Seb.” Harry made sure he took an extra-long bite of his disgusting duck’s liver, and I turned my nose up.

“My parents are cousins.” I didn’t mean to say it, like most things I say—it just plopped out and I immediately tried to make sure it was related in some way to my argument. “Not because of any famous bloodline or anything. More of a I’ve-know-her-all-my life-and-can’t-be-arsed-looking-elsewhere type of thing.” That made me pause again. “I mean, they love each other. It’s just… proximity?”
I don’t know. I don’t know!
Honestly. I shook my head while Robert and his mum chuckled and his dad smiled at me.

“That explains
so
much,” Harry mumbled out of his full mouth. “So much, Seb.”

“Oh… be quiet.”

“That explains the third nipple,” Harry quipped out too fast, like he’d thought up that joke before and had been waiting for the right moment to use it.

“I. Do. Not. have a third nipple.”

Robert was laughing now and I shoved a slice of cheese in my mouth so I wouldn’t be tempted to continue.

“Well, what about the slight hump and speech impediment?”

“Slight hump… Sherry, don’t go down this route. You’ll lose.”

“Sherry.” Robert snorted a little and Harry glared at him.

His mum decided to be all grown up and sensible by changing the topic. “Sebastian, Robert mentioned you were a student. I'm presuming you’re taking History, or something along those lines.”

“Erm, yes. History and Classic Civilizations. Don’t ask me what I'm going to do because I’ve no idea right now. Keeps me off the streets.” I smiled, then opened my eyes real wide while Harry choked on his wine. “I mean, ugh, so… I work too.” Oh shit! “I mean, I worked in a bar before.” I had no idea where I was going with this. “At least now I'm not touched up by random drunk strangers.” No, because being touched up by random strangers who
pay
me is so much better. “I have no idea what I'm talking about, well, I do, but it’s not coming out how I would like it to.”

“I'm sorry—” Harry would be the first one to speak up. “—but I can barely hear you from the bottom of the mile deep hole you just dug yourself into. Wait and I’ll go get help to pull you out.”

Robert leaned in and kissed me. “I love you. Don’t ever change.”

“I'm sorry,” I whispered up to him.

“It’s fine to be nervous, sweetie.” His mum laughed softly. “I remember the first time I met your mother, Jeremy.” She turned her nose up and shook her head while her husband smiled. “I wasn’t good enough, you see, and she made sure for the rest of her life I knew about it.”

Jeremy gave her a super cute, loved up look before kissing her on the cheek tenderly. “There comes a point in your life when the opinions of others carry less weight and you have more confidence in yourself and your actions. I didn’t have that confidence when I married my first wife, and although we grew to love each other, it was never as strong as what I feel for Lottie.”

“Aww.” It slipped out before I could stop it. “That's beautiful. I'm so happy you found each other.”

Both of them had gone through a lot it seemed before they found each other. Losing their first partners and finding each other must have been difficult for them and their families.

“Yes.” Lottie smiled at me, and then turned to Robert. “We’re happy for you both, but there are still questions, Robert.”

“I thought there would be,” he mused quietly.

“Not here, though. I'd like you both to come to the house for afternoon tea sometime tomorrow or the next day.” She smiled at me warmly.

“I don’t know if I can make afternoon tea. I work, remember. But an evening meal would be doable. If you're okay with Saturday, Seb?”

“Saturday’s fine with me.” Not like I had any plans, is it?

W
hile Harry drove us home, he tried to explain the finer details about the hierarchy of the English aristocracy, which was very similar to the last time someone tried to explain the offside rule in football. I remember sitting in a pub with the salt and pepper pots out, a few chips for the players… I ate one of the chips, totally threw the whole plan out. This confused me more, but to be honest, my mind wasn’t really there, it was all over the place, and I just wanted to shut down in bed with a book and Robert.

There were things to discuss which we had to get out of the way before I could let go all of the anger I felt inside me, but I was sure once he’d explained in very, very fine detail, things would be back to normal. Whatever normal was for us anyway.

When Harry dropped us off at Robert’s house and we’d said our goodbyes, Robert locked the door and drew me in for a huge hug, kissing my neck and purring against my skin.

“Robert—”

“No! Not yet. Just give me a few minutes like this before we have to talk.”

Sighing, I took him into my arms and held him back just as tightly. “Your parents are nice. Really nice considering what they found out. Do you think they’re lying and just being polite?”

Robert groaned. Obviously this was spoiling his moment. “My mum likes you, she told me so. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t lie. Yes, she has concerns, more so about your age than anything, but also because I'm her son, and she’s worried I'm having a break-down of some sort and I'm using you to get me through a mid-life crisis. She’s worried about you being hurt more than me.”

“The escort thing has to play on their minds.”

“Sebastian…” He sighed, chewing on his bottom lip.

“It’s okay, I know it will do. If she was my mum, and I was in your position, she’d have laid into me big style. I want her to like me, but I understand it will take time for her to really trust me.”

“She thinks you're insanely sweet and very down to earth.”

“I like her too.” I smiled before leaning up and kissing him. “Let’s have a shower.”

“No, I think a bath will be better. Hot water, you lying on top of me, candles, glass of wine. Have I convinced you yet?”

“Sounds good to me. Erm, but before we go up, can we talk about the ex?”

He stiffened against me, but nodded. “Yeah, I guess we need to get that resolved before we move on, huh.” He took my hand, walking me into the kitchen, letting me sit at the bar while he poured us both a glass of wine.

“When did you and him break up? You said you’d gone six months without sex before you met me at the Hilton, but you didn’t say how long it was since you two broke up.”

“About eight months before we met up, but it had been dead long before that. We just coexisted, not partners, just roommates. At first, he thought I was taking a few months out to fuck around, and then I'd see what I was missing at home and come back to him. But I knew no matter what, after we’d split up, I wouldn’t go back to him. He played nice, kept me as a friend, and I won't lie and say I wanted to be a cruel bastard and keep him away. We were friends, so we went out to joint friends’ birthdays and such, but it just served to complicate matters more, and with him, saying we were getting back together to them behind my back, everyone just thought of us as together, my parents included.”

Robert joined me, running his fingers through my hair before kissing me. “I knew as soon as I met you what I’d been missing out on, and even though I wanted to continue with you, I thought then we wouldn’t see each other again, so I dated a few other men who reminded me of you. None of them came close.”

He grinned at me. “He knew I’d moved on, and even then he made jokes about my new taste for young twinks—a word which I hate and you know I do. I don’t like putting labels on anyone, that’s his words, not mine. But he’s always known I had a… thing for men with your frame and build. My porn collection is full of them.”

Robert laughed as I rolled my eyes. “I’d never been with anyone like you. Despite wanting to, I’d stayed with a man who I physically didn’t find appealing for over seven years just to keep up appearances, and I’m pretty sure he felt the same way for me too. From the moment I set my eyes on you, I knew you’d drive me wild, and you have. Every time I look at you it feels like lightning running through every nerve in my body. I'm drawn to you in a way I've never felt before, and I never will again. You're mine, Sebastian Knight. You belong with me.” He softly pressed his lips to mine and kissed me.

“I know. I feel that way too.” Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him close and kissed him with more passion, our bodies reacting way too fast than expected and making us both laugh.  “I always have done. It just took time for us both to stop pissing about and admit it.”

“I told my mum last month I loved you and didn’t know what to do about it.”

“Last month?” I dug my face into his chest and sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?”

“I wasn’t sure you wanted me to feel that strongly for you. The last few times we’d spoken about having more, you’d made it pretty clear to me it wasn’t an option. Loving you could have ended everything between us in my eyes. The last week before you came up here was different, the drunk calls, the confusing emotions you showed me, it made me feel you wanted more, but like me, wasn’t sure what would happen. I should have been the adult and spoken to you first, but… I felt it should be you first. I didn’t want to feel like I’d forced you into anything, especially with you living here and hiding out. It just felt all wrong, but when you blurted it out today, I couldn't just let you think I didn’t feel exactly the same way about you.”

He took hold of my shoulders and pushed me from his chest, kissing me firmly on the lips before staring into my eyes. “I swear everything between me and Leo is over, and I’ll work harder at keeping him from my life and my mum’s life. It’s gone on for too long and I won't have him meddling in our business. If I have to see him again to make that very clear, I will do it.”

Robert held my face tenderly in his big hands and smiled down at me. “It’s you I want, and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to keep you in my life, no matter what. If I lose the support of my friends, then they’re not really my friends. If it causes me issues at work, then I’ll leave and go somewhere else. If my family won’t accept us, then it’s their issue, not mine, and I won't feel any guilt over stepping back from them. I won't ever be pulled from your arms, Sebastian, not while you want me in them.”

“Have you always been this amazing?”

“No.” He moved closer, brushing his lips against mine. “I’ve never felt like this for anyone else, never been so insanely lost in how I feel for another person. When we’re apart, I feel like I’ve lost part of myself. You’re everything that’s right in my life, sometimes the only bright light in the darkness. Having your love, and keeping it for as long as I can, is the most important goal in my life.” He kissed me softly before whispering against my lips. “Whatever I did to make you fall in love with me, you need to let me know so I can keep doing it.”

“You're doing it. This. How you make me feel like the most important thing in your life, that’s one of the things I love about you the most.” I paused to kiss him, smiling against his lips. “The other being how your body was made for mine.”

“Hmm.” He groaned against my mouth. “Yes, that is a beautiful part of being with you.”

“One we should probably go practise right now.”

“I agree one hundred percent.” Robert kissed me harder, pulling me up from my seat before pressing me up against the wall and caging me in his arms, leaning the heavy weight of his body against mine as he ground into me in all the right places. “I've never wanted anyone like I want you. What you do to me… how you turn me on… how you want me—” He moaned against my mouth as I cupped his cock, working his swollen length in my palm. “Seeing you come for my cock while I fuck you hard.” He gasped as I gripped his stiffness in my hand, working it over his trousers. “Fuck, Seb.”

“Have I told you how hot you look in this suit, Mr Barrett? Because you do.” I bit his bottom lip, unzipping his trousers, slowly snaking my hand into his shorts and feeling his hot skin. “Every time you wear one of these my body aches to be with you, stripping you out of it until I have you naked, my body under yours, your cock inside me, fucking me, turning me inside out with how much I crave your touch.”

“Sebastian…” He broke off as I freed him from his trousers. His erection felt like iron in my hand as I swiped my thumb over his slit, spreading the thick, slick liquid over his length.

“You make me internally combust with need every time I'm near you.”

“It’s not just you who feels like that.” He took my hand off him and grinned. “Bath time.”

“Awww.”

“We can have fun in there.”

“I’ve never shared a bath before.” I watched as he struggled to put his cock back in his shorts, leaving his trousers open because that wasn’t going to happen with him being so hard.

“I’ll have to make sure it’s a memorable one then, won't I?” Robert took my hand, leading me into the hall and up the stairs.

We’d shared showers and I’d noted how big his bath was, but he’d never had one while I’d been there and I'm not a bath type of person. I'm more in and out, not lay there and relax, but having him with me made me think it would be more exciting than the average bath time.

“Do you often have long relaxing baths, or is this a new thing?”

“New sharing them, but I’ve always enjoyed lying in them for an hour before bed.”

“Jerking off to your fantasies before climbing into bed?”

“Yes.” He laughed with me as he played with the taps, getting the water right before unbuttoning his shirt. “Now I’ll have company, even better.”

As I tugged off my clothes, I thought about how long he and the ex had been together. It would have been eight years ago almost, that would have made me eleven at the time they got together, and I thought over all of the years of my life, trying to understand why they’d been together so long when he wasn’t happy.

He must have been happy once. Like all relationships, there had to be a honeymoon period where they had more sex. They couldn't have drifted apart so quickly, or had it always been dead and no sex? I wanted to imagine them never touching each other, never finding pleasure with the other, but I knew that was an impossible fantasy to cling on to, and one which would hurt me more when I found out they’d fucked like rabbits in the beginning.

Robert didn’t have to go through his past relationships in fine detail for me. What he’d given me was enough. Enough to still hurt me, and I think he knew if he gave me anymore, I'd struggle to let go of his past.

He had one ex, all the others meant nothing to me, because they meant nothing to him, but at one stage, Leo meant something to Robert and I hated it. It was the thought of him sharing himself, or a part of himself, with another for so long.

The only part which made me feel confident in me and him was that he never gave all of himself to Leo, but then did I get all of him too, or was this another relationship where he would only share a small part with me?

“I’ve never been in a relationship before. I just know I'm going to get everything wrong.”

Robert smiled at me, standing there naked, still half hard and looking so sexy I wanted to fall to my knees and worship him. “Don’t worry, they’re all different. Not that I have vast experience. I'm sure we’ll both make mistakes, but we’ll work through them together.”

I was beside him now, running my fingertips down his chest, following his dark hair down to his happy trail where I paused, playing with the downy hair while I looked into his eyes. “There’s this horrible green-eyed monster living inside me now, and I don’t know how to deal with it. It’s been getting stronger since I found out about
him
.”

Robert stepped into the bath, offering me his hand and helping me into the steaming water. “I can't tell you not to feel like that. Only time will help, but how I love you—” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling our naked bodies together. “How I want you. I never felt like this for him.”

We sank into the water, taking a few moments to get comfy, lying at opposite ends of the bath. “How do I know I'm getting all of you and not some watered down version which he got?”

“Because you're what I really want in my life. He wasn’t.” He looked into my eyes and smiled, rubbing his foot on my ribs. “I tried, Sebastian. I’m not a total bastard. I went into the relationship thinking we’d work things out. All couples have their differences, but they could be talked about. Together we’d make things work.”