Sebastian: The Complete Series (30 page)

“You know me, Seb. Know the real me. Not just the title and the family history. I can't be who I am here.”

That explained a lot. I’d always wondered what he was running from and why he chose this life, but to become an escort… He must really have been playing the spoilt little boy card by becoming what his family probably considered to be the lowest of the low.

“Does Leigh know?”

“Yes.”

“Right.”

“Look, it never came up in conversation.”

“Never came up in… Are you fucking around? Please.” I held up my hand, the other wiping away mock tears. “You’re dead to me.”

“Oh, fuck right off.” Harry laughed loudly. “So, can you see him?”

“Who?”

Harry let his mouth hang open and he stared right at me for a few seconds until I shot up in my seat.

“Oh, yeah. No.” I began sneakily looking for Robert, but saw nothing, and then…

There he was, to my left, half sitting behind a column, the man next to him had his arm draped behind his shoulders on the chair, leaning in as they spoke. I took in the new guy, well dressed in a three piece pinstripe suit, shorter than Robert but taller than me and his build was much bigger than me. Okay, I'm a twink, I get it. I'm very slim, so this guy was more medium build, average size. He was a typical business man having lunch, light hair, cut in a smart cut, good-looking, nothing ugly and nothing spectacular, just your average guy.

“I need to know who he is.” I picked up my menu, hiding behind it, but I was sure from where Robert was sitting he wouldn’t see me.

Harry waved over his mate Thomas. “I say, Thomas, the man over there, I know him, can’t put my finger on his name. Damn rude of me. Went to a bloody wedding here not so long ago. Remember the one, my uncles? I recall the dark-haired one, Robert Barrett. Good doctor. Operated on a few of my grandmother’s friends, but his guest…”

Erm, did he just get poshera?
That’s my new word. I have lots, but this one I like a lot right now.

“Of course, I served here the night of the wedding, My Lord.” Thomas looked over to Robert’s guest. “Ahh. Mr Barrett and his family tends to always sit there, Sir. I believe, if I recall rightly, the gentleman beside him is his partner.” He looked up and bit his lip. “Leonard, Leo…” I'm afraid I can't recall.”

“Leo,” I said quietly. “That his name.”

“Ahh.” Harry smiled at Thomas. “Thank you. May we have two portions of your pate de foie gras to start with?”

“Of course, Sir.” Thomas left and I hid behind my menu again.

He was having dinner with his ex and didn’t tell me. There was no need to lie.

“It could all be innocent.” Harry leaned back in his chair, casting his gaze over them while he sipped his wine. “He’s nowhere near your league, Sebastian.”

“No.” I looked over him, taking in how similar to Robert he was in posture and attitude, professional and confident. He fitted in here with everyone else. He was also a lot older than me, maybe even older than Robert. “How old do you think he is?”

“Around forty maybe. Or… he could just look older.”

“They saw each other for seven years and I think he’s still in love with Robert.”

“Seven years?” Harry shot me a look. “And they broke up when?”

“Last year, no, maybe this year. Yeah, I think it was six months ago, or he didn’t have sex for six months, so maybe longer.”

“Rebound!” Harry said coldly and I nodded. “Well, I'm not going to tell you to just believe him because I did that for years and the guy fucked me around and broke my heart. If you have doubts, and he's already lying to you—”

“Well, not lied…”

“He could have told you, Seb. He didn’t. Why?”

“I don’t know.”

Just then, two older people turned up and there was lots of hugging and kissing between them. The woman paid much more attention to Robert, checking him over the way my mum did when she hadn’t seen me in ages, and I sighed heavily when she turned more to me and I saw her face. My stomach dropped into my shoes and I looked into Harry’s eyes. “They're his parents.”

Harry turned several shades redder and tapped his fingers on the table top. “Is that right?”

“Yeah, she looks just like him.”

Why would he do this to me? Why lie? Why pretend to be something he’s not? We could’ve just had fun. It didn’t have to be this heavy. If he’d offered that, I would have taken it and saved a lot of heartache.

“I want to go over there and punch that snobby looking fucker.”

“Which one?” Harry laughed, glancing back at the group. “Oh shit. That older guy, that’s The Duke of Richmond.”

“What?” All these titles were making my brain hurt. I barely understood the difference between Mrs and Ms, so these were rolling right over my head. In fact, they were so high above me, they started to get altitude sickness.

“Yeah, I’ve seen him before. He’s Robert’s step-dad?”

“Yep.”

“His oldest son is one of my uncle’s best friends. The woman Robert was with at the wedding, the one you thought he was married to, that’s his wife. You know, that makes Robert’s mother a Duchess.” I gaped at him and Harry nodded. “First wife died.”

“Holy fuck! I can't deal with this. It’s too strange.”

“Hmm. Tell me about it. But at least she married into it, not born. Won’t be as bad that way, he’s not entitled to anything, titles and such. That’s all passed on to step dad’s own children.”

“I don’t… well, I do care about that, but…” I glanced at Robert laughing with his mother as he passed over a gift. The one his ex got for him. It was when he sat back, resting his arm behind his ex’s chair that I stopped breathing.

Go on. Do it and let me go.

With the longest slow motion-style movement, Robert leaned in, kissing him on the cheek and whispering in his ear.

That was it. It was over.

I wouldn’t be like Harry. I wouldn’t waste years of my life waiting for him only to be hurt over and over. I stood up, knocking the plate out of the hand of the server I didn’t notice beside the table, not stopping to deal with it as I began my march through the packed dining room to where they sat. I felt like stone, hard and cold. Dead.

It was Robert who saw me first, the colour from his face changing from rosy to drip white in an instant, quickly removing his arm from his ‘friend’ as I paced right up to him, taking time to glance around the table at his parents, and then his ex before I looked at him.

“Having fun?”

“Sebastian…” Robert tried to stand up, but I was already talking, holding my hands up to him.

“You see, I was having lunch with my dear friend Earl Rothsburn over there—” Name dropping! “—when we spotted the Duke and his lovely wife turning up. How wonderful you all know each other. I'm Sebastian.” I held my hand out to his mother who obviously could tell something was going on but didn’t want to be impolite. She glanced at Harry’s table behind me, and then offered me her delicate hand. “I'm the man your son's fucking but is ashamed of. He’s terribly bad mannered. You should do something about it.”

His mum’s mouth opened, and then she snapped it shut, looking thunderously at Robert.

“Seb!” Robert stood up, cheeks now burning red.

“I don’t care. I'm going.”

“Sabastian, please—” Robert was moving around the table. “This isn't what it looks like.”

“Really,” I hissed out as I shook his hand off my elbow. “You should have just kept paying for me and saved us both the hassle. I'm sending you a bill for this week, and it won't be cheap.”

I was vaguely aware of his mum gasping and his dad doing some sort of grunting slash snarling thingy.

Robert paused, not daring to look at his parents while I continued.

“And that’s the last time you ever see me, do you understand? THE LAST TIME. You can go back to pretending you like fucking men like him—” I stuck my thumb out at the ex who lifted his brow at me. “—and be miserable until you find the next twink to fuck.”

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” Robert grabbed my arms, pulling me away from the table. It was then I noticed everyone in the place was looking at us. I remembered how loud I'd been and what I'd just said, and I felt myself heating up. I moved my gaze to Harry, who was crying with laughter at our table and I scowled at him, tugging my arm free.

“Sebastian, this is… It’s nothing.”

“Aww, fuck off.”

Harry was walking to us in full smug bastard mode—smarmy grin, brow raised, hand in his pocket as he sauntered over. He gave a short, overly dramatic bow to the Duke when he arrived by the table, which I'm pretty sure he didn’t have to do, before tilting an imaginary hat at Robert’s mother then moved his gaze to Robert himself. “I’ll think we’ll be leaving now.”

“He's not leaving anywhere unless it’s with me.” Robert stood in between us.

“That’s up to him, not you.” Harry wasn’t backing down, and now there were staff hanging around, eyeing them both up, and trying to decide if they should intervene.

“He’s my responsibility?” Robert was still clinging onto me while he and Harry glared at each other.

“Responsibility?” Harry turned his nose up, brows hitting his hairline, and despite being shorter than Robert, he somehow managed to look down on him.

They must teach that look in Snob School, in the ‘How To Make The Lower Classes Feel Small’ lecture, which runs alongside the ‘I’m Considerably Posher Than You’ course.

Harry spoke slowly and confidently. “He’s much more than that to me. He’s someone I love. A friend. Not a responsibility.”

“That's not what—” I chose that moment to walk off, halting Robert mid speech. “Sebastian!”

I was in the lobby when he caught me, trying to stop me without making too much of a fuss.

“Please, let me explain.”

“No.” I shook his hand off me and turned to look over his shoulder at his very pleased looking ex staring at us. “I’d say I hope you’ll both be happy, but I know you won't.”

“I want you,” Robert growled out. “This is innocent.”

“You kissed him, whispered sweet nothings in his ear.”

“All explainable and nothing like you think.”

“I don’t want to listen to your lies. It’s over.” I was outside and he was right behind me. “You should have been honest with me.”

“I've always been honest with you.”

I spun around and glared at him.

“I love you!” I shouted it so loud a few passers-by looked at us. One even awing at me, but her friend quickly tugged her away. “I always have. Congratulations on fucking me around and breaking my heart.”

I turned from him, running away as fast as I could, but his long legs caught me up, and he was pinning me against the wall, his big body covering mine instantly, my arms restrained in his hold.

“Sebastian.” He wiped my tears from my cheeks before hugging me to him. “I swear to you this isn't what it looks like. Please, give me a second to explain. If you love me, I deserve that much at least.”

“You don’t deserve anything.” I caught a sob in my throat and wiped my eyes.

“Please, Seb.” He tilted my head back and smiled. “You’ve just made me so happy.”

“You're mental! More mental than old Crazy McInsane from the clan Strange in Loon Land.”

He laughed loud and hard before stroking my cheek tenderly. “Sebastian Knight… I love you.”

Well, that stopped me in my tracks.

My mouth fell open and I just stood there looking at him like the escaped mental patient he was. “What?”

“I love you. Believe me when I say there’s nothing going on with Leo. It’s you I want. I can't believe you just did that in there…” He bent down and laughed. “Dear God. Despite that, I still love you. Perhaps even more. Seeing you so jealous and crazy about me kissing him, what you said…” Robert leaned into me again. “Baby, you're fucking insane, but I love you like no other. You make life worth living. Don’t leave me just yet.”

Robert moved closer, his lips almost on mine. “I love you, Sebastian Knight.”

“Robert…” I kissed him hard and fast, wrapping my arms around his neck.

Please, please, please let this be true. 

R
evealing how I felt for Robert and hearing those same words back should have been a moment I could look back on forever and think overly romantic thoughts about. Think doves flying above us while we share a passionate kiss on the busy roadside in Mayfair. Cherubs with harps appearing as if by magic beside us, balloons filling the sky…

In reality, I’d just made a big arse of myself in front of his parents and revealed myself to be a whore who he met when he paid for dirty sex.

Yeah, good first impression, one I'm sure wouldn’t be forgotten. Ever!

And…

“You kissed your ex,” I mumbled against his lips as soon as the memory hit me.

“Okay,” Robert huffed out, pulling reluctantly away from me. “That moment didn’t last as long as I'd hoped it would.” Stepping back, he put his hands in his pockets, looking down at his feet, reminding me of a naughty school boy caught smoking behind the bike shed or something. “I used the kiss to hide what I was saying to him.” He met my narrowed eyes and sighed. “Seb… he knew I was seeing someone and he hated it. Before my parents arrived, he’d been trying his best to get me to come back. Physically.” He pursed his lips, scowling into the distance.

“He touched you up! Ugh, I hate him.”

“I had no idea he’d arranged to meet up with my parents today. It was some fucking plot to get them to take his side. I was so mad at him. The only reason I was so close to him was so I could whisper how much he'd pissed me off into his ear and not cause an ugly scene.” Robert half smiled at me.

“Much like the one I caused.” I threw my hands in the air and huffed. “I really don’t know what you thought I would do. I mean, do I look sane and reasonable to you? No. Not at all.”

Robert smiled, but I could read his emotions in his deep eyes too well and I knew he was going over my little breakdown and feeling shit about it.

“I'm sorry.”

“No, I understand it looked bad.” He paused, looking up at the blue sky above us and sighing. “It was you, and one of the reasons I love you.” He met my gaze and smiled. “It’s just…”

“Your parents,” I finished off quietly.

Just then, I caught Harry speeding towards us, a dark look on his face and a stiffness to his body which was all fight or flight. “We’re leaving. Right now.”

“Harry—”

“No!” He held his hand up and stared firmly into my eyes. “Now. No bitching, just do what I'm asking for once with no arguments.”

Robert took hold of my hand in his and shook his head. “I told you inside, he’s not going anywhere unless it’s with me.”

“Seriously?!” Harry looked over us both and frowned, his blue eyes and handsome face scowling at us both. “You're not going to buy whatever shit lies he’s come up with, are you?”

“It was a misunderstanding,” Robert stated coldly, tightening his grip on my hand.

Harry stepped closer to him, turning his chin up. “Is that right? Well, a simple misunderstanding is easy to resolve. How about you go back inside and sit down with your parents and get it all out into the open?”

“Okay.” Robert shrugged casually.

We both turned to look at Robert, time standing still, traffic pausing, people in freeze frame, the birds in the sky halting mid-flight. Then it all speeded up, moving extra fast, trying to catch up the wasted time, and I spoke up. “Robert, I worry for your sanity more and more.”

“Sebastian, Harry’s right.” He and Harry both tilted their heads and smiled sarcastically at each other. “It’s the only option. I want you to trust me, and I don’t want to hide or lie to my parents about us. How we met didn’t have to come out, but now it has, and I'm not going to start off our relationship with a pack of lies.”

“Right.” Harry stood straighter. “Let’s go.”

“This is private.” Robert lowered his voice and glared into Harry’s eyes.

Harry’s fake ‘you wound me, Sir’ look made it onto his face quickly, eyes all big and wide, mouth parted in shock, hand on his chest. “It was
my
idea after all, so it’s only fair
I
attend the memorable meeting.”

“Yeah, he could take notes.” I imagined him as a snooty secretary, glasses on the edge of his nose, legs crossed with a notepad perched on his knees, glaring at me… Oh wait… yeah, so he was glaring at me. “Harry, it is
kind of
my first meeting with his parents.” Well, the first one I'm going to remember, because the first one was sooo bad it will have to be forgotten. “Having you there is only going to bring up questions about how we met, and I don’t want to drag you into this any deeper than you already are.”

Harry wasn’t going to budge, I could tell. Despite what could happen, he was willing to risk exposing himself for me and I loved him for being such a great friend.

“Okay, come then.” I sighed heavily, offering him a smile. He was doing this for me and I didn’t want to push him out so harshly when he trying to protect me.

“Sebastian—” Robert turned in shock to me.

“Robert, he needs to hear this as much as I do, maybe more.”

If he didn’t believe Robert, then my life would be hell, and I didn’t want to be stuck in between them both. Plus, he was going to create a buffer, one which I would be glad to have. He’d be in my corner no matter what, even if Robert had to be polite about the situation and try to keep the peace between his parents, Harry wouldn’t.

“I want him there,” I said softly, holding his hand. Robert looked down at me, realising I wouldn’t change my mind, and sighed. “Besides, he's got some sort of royal status, which means he’s above the likes of us.”

“I’m not royalty, prick.” Harry spun around, walking off in front of us, and we both slowly began to follow him back to the hotel. “Besides, going by titles… His step-dad is higher ranked than me being a Duke.”

“You know…” I paused mid-step and glanced at Robert, who was looking at the door to the hotel getting closer. “That’s kind of a thing you tell someone. Both of you.”

“It never came up in c—” Harry began, but I quickly slapped the back of his head, cutting him off sharply.

“And don’t even think of using that as an excuse, Robert.” I flashed him a stern look.

“I wasn’t going to.” Robert grinned as Harry rubbed his head. “Jeremy’s title has nothing to do with me. I’m just the step-son, and I’ve tried to not involve myself too deeply in that part of his life.”

“Oh, come on.” Harry looked over his shoulder as he stepped through the door. “You’re telling me not once have you used his title to open doors and help you through life, not once?”

“No.” Robert ground his teeth together, a touchy subject obviously.

Harry smiled, shaking his head as he walked on. “Whatever! But I'm betting he has helped, even if it’s just by association.”

“Is that why you made sure to choose a profession where it would hurt your family if you received any help?” Robert’s words cut like glass through the suddenly frosty air.

Harry turned to look at him, slowly and deadly, blue eyes encasing everything they glanced at in ice, but before he could utter a word, I panicked and Harry saw it, turning behind him to stare at the smug sight of Robert’s ex Leo walking to us.

“No,” I whispered out, slightly leaning into Robert, and loving him even more when he wrapped his arm around my waist and held me tight.

“It’s okay.” Robert narrowed his eyes, holding out his hand in front of us and shaking his head. “Go home, Leo. There’s nothing you can say I want to hear.”

“You might not
want
to hear it, but that doesn’t change the fact you should.” Leo was smart enough to make sure he didn’t get too close, probably worried my escaped mental patient act from before would switch up a gear and I’d scratch his eyes out or something. Instead, he placed himself a few feet from us, arms folded across his chest, fixing those stern eyes of his on me for longer than either me or Robert liked.

Robert’s firm voice and more professional attitude came out as he moved forward a little, almost placing me behind him in an overly protective moment. “Honestly, I’ve gone through months of thinking, and I can assure you, I've thought of everything in that time. Hearing them from you, my mother, or anyone else—it won't change a damn thing. Nothing’s changed from our conversation last month, nothing except this afternoon’s excitement.” Robert smiled quickly at me.

Leo took a second of his precious time to look at me before he moved those cold eyes back to Robert, a softer smile and calmer look on his face. A fake one obviously. “When you told me you’d fallen for someone new, I was happy, but not now, Robert. How can I be?”

Harry twisted around sharply so he was standing right in front of Leo, both of them standing eye to eye. “It’s not about
your
happiness. It’s about
theirs
. If you have a problem with that, it’s just that.
Your
problem. I suggest going away and dealing with it, and not attempting to change how they feel for each other. That’s none of your fucking business.”

“And why is it yours… Earl?” Leo made sure to look over every inch from head to toe on Harry. By the time he reached his eyes again, a sly smirk was playing on his lips. “I can’t imagine Bobby is okay with another client hanging around, and you and the twink obviously don’t have social ties, why would you? So, that leaves another unexpected answer to my question. But the Earl of Rothsburn, a whore? Hmm. Maybe.” He looked at Harry’s body like he was a buffet, trying to decide which part he wanted to try first.

Stepping in quickly, I gently tugged Harry back and looked up at his ex. I hated this guy, more for trying to implicate Harry. “Harry’s a friend. A good one.” There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Harry, for Leigh. They were the kind of friends I’d wanted in my life since I was a kid and I wouldn’t let anything happen to them. “Don’t try dragging him or his family into this. Whatever hate and obvious jealousy you have, it’s for me, not him, so talk to me.” I gave him a little shove and he glared at me.

“This isn't happening.” Robert gently pulled me back into the comfort of his arms as he stood behind me. “It’s over between us, whether I met Sebastian or not, that would still be the case. I'm not interested in hearing your poison, and I'm telling you to back off from my mum too. I don’t want you filling her head full of lies.”

“But they’re not lies,” Leo laughed out his words, running his fingers through his blond hair. “If your mother wants to worry about you going through a mid-life crisis and shacking up with someone young enough to be her grandchild, someone you
paid
for the privilege, someone who’s using you—”

“I'm not using him.” Our eyes met again. “But I don’t have to prove that to you. The only person I care about believing me is Robert.” I paused, tilting my head a little. “Well, his mum too, but that’s it. You can just fuck off now. You're not needed here. Not now. Not ever.”

Leo huffed and looked to Robert. “Bobby—”

“It’s not Bobby, it’s Robert. He hates that.” Ugh, this guy was pushing all my buttons and not in a good way.

Just as Leo was about to open his stupid gob again, Robert began walking off, half carrying me, half dragging me. “Stay away from my mother, Leo.”

Harry moved to the other side of me and I rolled my eyes at his smile. “I'm so glad we met up for a quiet lunch and a bit of shopping. It’s been fun.”

“No, it’s not. I haven’t bought one thing or eaten a bite of food. You’re shit, Harry. I'm not coming out with you ever again.” I grinned at him, noticing Robert had eased off his grip on my waist now we’d left his ex behind.

“Did you eat breakfast?” Robert’s concern had slipped into a familiar place with both of us. I would have smiled, but it was then I remembered I hadn't eaten since dinner the previous day.

“Erm… I had coffee.”

“Seb!”

“Hey, I planned on eating.”

“Not really.” Harry opened the double doors to the dining area and I could hear the slight hiss of air being taken in from the twenty or so people around us.

Obviously they’d just settled back down and thought they could eat, and now here I was, turning up for round two. I felt like doing a speech of some sort, but Harry was talking to his mate Thomas and we were shown back to the dreaded table where I'd witnessed Robert and the prick cooing at each other.