Sebastian: The Complete Series (49 page)

Following the clear commands he offered, I closed my eyes and did as he said. And that’s how it continued until I stopped hyperventilating and I was just laid against his chest, the world now spinning at the correct speed and my body feeling like it needed a bed.

Jacob settled me in his car, laying me down on the back seat. I was still there when I woke up. I knew we weren’t in the city anymore just by the lack of traffic and other noise. Looking out of the window as I laid still, I saw the big oak tree outside Robert’s house and I wondered if he was home and how long I'd slept in the car for.

“He’s almost there.” Jacob’s voice from outside my window made me take in a deep breath. “That’s good, Robert. He needs to break.”

“I hoped he would be with me when it happened.”

“I'm sorry. I'm sure he would have preferred that too. I’d suggest taking time off for the next few days. It’s time.”

So that was it. That’s what everyone was waiting for. For me to break. Even the sexy psychologist Robert and I had been seeing on our weekly visits had been expecting it. No doubt he’d prepared everyone for the moment, the moment where I was taken so low I fell to the ground in a heap. What I didn’t understand was why it had to happen at all. I was fighting it, but I was so tired, so ready to just let it go.

“It will be a weight off his mind when he comes through the other side. Be with him, and push him, Robert. This one needs to be pushed.” Jacob irritated me.

Okay, so less than normal, but he still bothered me.

I didn’t need pushing. I was fine! Fine, fine, fine.

A
fter stropping out of Jacob’s car and then sulking as he handed me over to Robert, I left with a grunted goodbye and disappeared into the house, where I stripped off my clothing, discarding it on the floor as I ran the bath. Just before I stepped in, I felt Robert near me and I turned to see him leaning against the doorframe, arms folded over his chest, brown eyes downcast as he worried his bottom lip with his teeth.

“I heard work was a real bitch today. I hope everything turned out okay. I'm sorry I worried you.” I dipped a toe in the water and winced. Too hot. “I disturbed you, right? It was my fault surgery didn’t go as planned.” With a sigh, I switched on the cold tap then parked my naked arse on the tub and looked up at him.

“How I react to something you do isn't your fault, Seb. That’s down to me.”

“But I did put you off, right?”

“I was worried.” He looked up at me eventually, running his fingers through his hair before loosening his tie. “Why did you go to that house? You said you were going to pick up some books from the library. I can't… I need to know where you are.”

“You did.” I turned off the tap. “You have that nifty stalker device set up so you know where I am at all times.”

“No, I know where
the car
is. That doesn’t mean you're there. When I saw where you were and saw you weren’t moving on, what the hell did you think I would feel? You were right there, right where he… I didn’t know what to do. I had a patient on the table prepped for me and all I could think about was what the fuck was going on with you.”

“Okay, and you’re not blaming me at all for this, right?” I offered a small smile and took hold of his hand. “It’s okay to be pissed at me for that. Fuck, I'm pissed at me right now. Don’t lie about how you feel. You know Dr Hanson would hate that.”

Gabriel Hanson was hands down the sexiest psychiatrist in the existence of mankind. Hell, the guy could make me zone out with a look, that little lift of the brow, those piercing dark eyes and honey blond hair…

“Seb… you're drifting off thinking about Gabe again.” Robert should have been pissed, but he just smiled.

“I was not.” A lie neither of us believed. “Get in the bath with me.”

“Or what?” Robert leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips.

“Orrrr, I dunno. I call Gabe up and be all, 'Robert doesn’t love me, he hates me, come get in the bath with me, sexy brain doctor, and make it all better.'” I was stripping him out of his clothing while he chuckled.

“You're lucky I don’t get jealous.”

“You do, just not with him.”

“You're a patient. Gabe would never cross that line, not even in his mind where only he would know it happened. He's too controlled to be anything other than a friend who wants to see you—sorry,
us
—work out.”

“Working out means us both being honest. So… you're pissed off at me, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” He didn’t pause that time but he said it with a smile, so it eased the fact he was mad at me in a big way. I grinned up at him from the bath before I stroked his thighs, running my fingers through the dark hairs covering them as he stood above me. “But! I don’t blame you for anything. I was just mad at the whole situation. Not knowing why you’d gone there, wondering what was happening to keep you there so long, wanting to go to you and not being able to.” He ran his fingers through my hair, watching as I began to spread feather light kisses up his thighs.

“I could make it up to you in
some way
. Some
sexual
way perhaps.” I threw him a wink as I kissed the tip of his cock.

“You don’t have to use sexual favours or your body to apologise. And I don’t really need an apology, all I need to know is you're safe.”

With a sigh, I slouched back in the bath, frowning up at him as he crouched before me, easing his body into the hot water. “I didn’t mean it that way and you know it.”

He sat down with a sigh, working his legs around mine. “I didn’t mean it like that either, you know. Even if you hadn't been an escort, I still wouldn’t expect you to suck my cock as an apology.”

“Honestly, I just really wanted to suck you off. No big deal. I mean, if you don’t want me to do it anymore, that’s cool.” I played with my fingernails, not looking at him. “Don’t you want me anymore?”

“Sebastian!”

“No-no, look, I get it, okay. Some partners just never got over the fact that the person who they love has been used by someone else.” I still couldn't look at him.

First reason was that I knew everything I just said was bullshit.

Robert wanted me. The fact his body responded to me so quickly when we kissed, or even just looked at each other, told me that. Second reason was that he’d repeatedly told me, and our gorgeous psychiatrist, exactly
how
he wanted me, but still…

I’m only human, and the fact he continued to refuse me made those doubts seem larger and more real than they should be.

“We've done sexual things.” He was busy not looking at me and washing his chest down, which did nothing to dampen the need I had for him.

“
You’ve
done things to
me
. Me returning those things hasn’t happened yet. I’m perfectly okay with this.”

“Okay.” Robert met my gaze and I saw that certainty in them which told me he was one hundred percent positive I was wrong.

“I am,” I stated it quite clearly and with the same confidence he had within him.

“Okay.” He dropped the cloth and beckoned me to him with the crook of his fingers. "Come here.”

I lifted a brow at the command, but the smirk playing on his lips lessened the impact. With slow, awkward movements, I managed to tuck my legs underneath me and shuffled across his thighs, placing my arse over his cock and bending down to kiss his full mouth, sliding my lips against his before I took hold of his hair in my fist and teased his lips open with my tongue. Kissing we’d done a lot of. We’d become hard and excited, and he’d pulled me off or spun me over so he could finish me off with his mouth, but foreplay went only one way, and even when I touched him, he become too edgy and backed off.

“Do you pull yourself off when I'm not around?” I moaned out over his lips. “Be honest with me.”

He snaked his strong arms around my waist, holding my slippery body against his. “I think about you when I do it.” His gravelly voice made my body shiver. “I think about fucking you, about having you underneath me, your thighs against your ears and my body slamming into yours.”

“Everything about that sounds good to me.” Leaning back, I hooked my arms around his neck and stared into those warm brown eyes. “So, why doesn’t it happen? Or at least me touching you in some way?”

He tilted his head to the side, caressing my cheek softly with one of his big hands and cupping my face, drawing me in for another lingering kiss. “Would you agree that I'm incredibly in tune with your body?”

I nodded, rubbing my chin up against those callouses on his palm which turned me on. “Yes.” It was true. From the very first time we had sex, Robert knew my body so well, it was like he could read my mind. “You know what I need before I do sometimes. Why?”

Another kiss was placed delicately on my lips before he breathed a hot puff of air over it. “Just that. I know what you need. I can read every miniscule detail of how your body reacts. You can say what you want through those pretty lips, but what your body shows me is sometimes different.”

I sat back, not liking where this was heading. “I don’t lie to you.”

“I know you don’t, baby. That’s not what I meant.”

“That's what it sounded like.” I pouted as he clasped my head in his hands and smiled.

“I love you. Whether we’re fucking like rabbits or living like monks, I adore every centimetre of you inside and out.”

“But we’re not monks. We need more. You obviously do. You just said you think about me while you pull off.”

“I desire you. I always have done. That hasn’t and will not change. Look…” He pulled me back against him and gazed into my eyes. “After this bath, when we get in bed and continue this, when I stop, we’ll talk.”

“If you're so sure you're going to stop midway, then why even bother?”

“Because I think it’s time. Time I helped you see why I stop.”

“Fine. But you're going to have to get me back in the mood. All this talking has dampened the atmosphere a bit.”

“Pass me the gel and I’ll give you a back rub.”

His magic hands, and the way he manipulated my shoulders, made me forget everything and I just relaxed against him while he kneaded my muscles, occasionally kissing my neck as he poured water over the bubbles on my flesh.

All the time I was sitting on his lap, my gentle swaying and squirming caused my arse cheeks to slip over his length continually. It didn’t take long for him to react, and I soon had his hard length running in between my firm cheeks. Having his hot length sliding against my hole had me wanting more and I ground against him, enjoying how he moved his hands to my hips and held me there, letting me grind against his cock, feeling it stiffen as he moaned my name.

I smiled down at him. “I could make you come like this if I continued sliding my tight arse over your cock.”

“You could.”

“Oh, you'd let me do that, huh?”

“Right now, yeah.” He chuckled. “I never stop because it’s… It’s not… Ugh.” He kissed the back of my neck, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly. “I only want what
you
want. And right now, everything is good, or it was.”

Yeah, I felt that tightness in my body and I blew out a long, controlled breath as I tilted my head around and looked over my shoulder at his apologetic face. “I'm ready to get out now if you are, Mr Barrett.”

“I think we’re both amazingly clean.” He massaged one of my arse cheeks firmly as he winked. “Especially this.”

“You can double check when I'm spread all over our bed.”

He grinned. “Our bed.”

“Yes,” I sighed out. “Our bed, our house. I get it. I'm trying Robert.”

“I know you are, and it makes me extremely happy to know you think of this place as yours.”

I was going to shelf that
little
talk for later, because I still had problems regarding me being an equal partner in the whole property thingy, but for now, anything which made him happy was a good thing.

As I shuffled backwards from him, clumsily stepping out of the bath, I felt a little nervous. Which was totally down to the fact it felt a little more planned than our previous times together where we’d been so worked up over the teasing and just fallen into bed, or against the wall, or the floor, the shower… What was I saying again?

Oh yeah… sex!

Making the executive decision not to be nervous, I took hold of his hand as soon as he was out of the bath and tugged him to me, quickly crashing my lips against him and coiling around him as close as I could without actually having some part of me inside him. “Bed. Now,” I mumbled out through my frantic kisses.

It took seconds for me to manhandle him to the edge of the bed, our still dripping wet bodies slipping against the other, craving to touch every inch of him, to taste and hold, to claim back and keep. I needed him desperately. It had to happen.

Robert landed with a bounce on the bed as I pushed him, my thighs quickly straddling his again as I continued to press him into the mattress. “Baby...” He drifted off as I nipped his neck, working my mouth down to his nipple where I took it into my mouth and toyed with it before embedding my teeth into his tender flesh. He rose from the bed, arching into my mouth, pressing his chest to my lips and moaning for more.

While he was distracted by my mouth, I snuck a hand in between our bodies, gently caressing his length with my fingertip, moving agonisingly slowly from base to tip. His breath caught in his throat when I clasped his base in my hand, squeezing a little before working up to his head and rolling my palm over his hot flesh. “You're so hard for me. It’s been too long. You need this, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he breathed out, meeting my gaze with his.

Enjoying teasing him, I slid down his body, opening his thighs and kneeling in between them. His cock was standing rigid from his body, leaking for my touch. Moving so slowly toward him gave me the opportunity to watch how dark his eyes had turned for me, the passion and need he felt for me on display within them. He may know my body better than I do most times but it went both ways, and I had that same knowledge of him. He was desperate for my touch.