Secrets On Lake Drive (21 page)

“Yeah, I know that all too well.”

“Honestly, I don’t think he wants you to
leave because he likes you. But Sean is not the type to beg nobody
for nothing, so if you want to leave, he’ll let you have your wish.
He’s cut and dry like that. There’s no in between with Sean.”

“I know, Warren. The thing is, I want to be
here for Roman, but at the same time, I have this life out there
that I need to know. I know that might sound silly, but I need to
know who I am.”

“Then you have to do what’s best for you.
Roman is not your responsibility, Monica.”

“But he looks up to me, and he’s such a
sweetheart.” I wrapped my arms around myself, deflecting the wind
chill while thinking about Roman. “Where is he, by the way? You put
him to bed?”

“Yep.” Warren yawned and stretched his hands
straight up into the air. “Roman is a good kid. But he’s bright. If
you sit down with him and have a heart-to-heart to explain why you
have to leave, he’ll understand.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” Warren said as he stood up. I
stood up, as well. “And who’s to say that you can’t come back and
visit Roman if you do decide to leave?”

“I hadn’t thought about that.”

“That’s another option. What you need to do
is make a decision that you can live with, okay?” Warren gave me a
hug. “Keep your head up, girl.”

“Thanks, Warren. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay.”

I turned around to go back inside of the
house and there was Sean standing at the front door with an
unbuttoned shirt hanging over some black dress pants. I opened the
door all the way and walked past him. I didn’t have anything to say
to him. I just wanted to go to my room and go to bed.

“What? You don’t see me standing here?” he
asked, like I was supposed to bow down and give obeisance to
him.

“I don’t want to argue with you, Sean. I
have a lot on my mind right now. I don’t need you trying to pick a
fight with me all the time. I just don’t have time for that,
ah’ight?”

I was completely exhausted and the tone of
my voice proved it. Whenever I was tired and stressed out, my voice
was very soft and sexy. Cornelius used to call it my
Girl 6
voice. He said that voice made him want to do some
thangs
to
me.

Sean was relentless in his efforts to talk
to me. “I’m not trying to pick a fight with you. I just want to
talk to you, Monica! Why do you always do this? Why can’t we have a
decent conversation? Yet, you can sit out front and have good talk
with my brother about this. This issue has nothing to do with
Warren!”

“I know that!” I threw the
Girl 6
voice out the window. It was time for me to get rowdy. I had just
about all I could take for one night.

“So why are you outside talking to him
instead of talking to me?”

“Because Warren is a lot easier to talk to,
and I don’t have to worry about him blowing up like a freakin’
ego-maniac! One minute, you’re hot, and the next, you’re cold. One
second, you’re happy, and the next, you’re sad. I don’t know what
your problem is, Mr. Hyde, but let me know when Dr. Jekyll is
back.”

I had no intention on snapping on him like
that, but he made me do it. I’d been holding it in for a long time
now.

“Don’t come at me with that. All I was
trying to do was talk to you.”

“Yeah, and you disrespectfully snatched me
up off of the couch like a rag doll. I mean, who do you think you
are that you can just run other people’s lives? Like I said before,
I don’t have to tell you nothing!”

“I guess not since you’re so busy telling my brother
everything!” he countered.

“Don’t worry about what I tell Warren. My
conversation with Warren is between me and Warren.”

“Oh, so I guess that makes me some dumb
nigga that don’t know how to communicate, right?”

I thought my head would explode. The
constant going back-and-forth with Sean was literally making me
sick. It reminded me of the bickering between my parents that I had
to endure. My only hope was that Roman didn’t hear us.

“Sean, nobody is calling you a dumb nigga.
And don’t get mad because I had a conversation with your brother.
He asked me what was going on and I told him.”

“So you can talk to him, but you can’t talk
to me?”

“We’ve already talked tonight! What do you
want me to do? Make a decision about my plans to move right
now?”

“I just want to know where we stand.”

“Then you need to give me some time, Sean. I
know someone of your status is accustomed to instant gratification,
but I need time.”

“Someone of my status? What is that supposed
to mean?”

Here we go again. Just when I thought the
argument is just about over, he starts up again.

He was all up in my face when he yelled, “You think
I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth! I had to work hard to
get what I have!”

He was shouting so out-of-control, I saw spit fly
out of his mouth. Some speckles even flew into my face. That’s when
I really got mad.

“You can’t get everything you want! You’re
having a hard time understanding that! I can’t believe how much of
a jerk you’re being!”

Sean rubbed his hands across his head,
obviously out of frustration. I knew I pissed him off. Then, Dr.
Jekyll looked at me and calmly said, “When you’re ready, talk to
me.”

He didn’t even care that I called him a
jerk. I almost felt guilty for saying that to him, but what’s done
is done.

Besides, he had it coming.

Chapter 20 -
The Spill

I was so pleased when Sean left for work the next
morning. I needed a break from him. His good looks were pleasing to
the eyes, but his attitude was bitter and I didn’t like the
taste.

While Roman was still in bed, I quietly enjoyed a
cup of coffee on the cool Milwaukee morning, when I heard the
doorbell ringing. Approaching the door, I recognized the shapely
figure through the stained glass window. It was Keisha. When I
opened the door, she was standing there with a sad look on her
face, mixed with a little bit of fright.

“Monica, I am sooo sorry,” Keisha said, with
her Dolce & Gabanna bag tucked to her side as if she was on the
verge of being robbed.

“Sorry for what?”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you that I said
something about Eric to Sean. Then, he asked me who Eric was. I
didn’t realize you didn’t tell him anything about him. I’m sorry,
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Don’t kill me.”

Keisha was such a drama queen, and that
little routine she just ran through sounded rehearsed. That’s my
girl, though, and I wasn’t mad at her. No need to be.

“It’s okay, Keisha, really.” I hugged her.
“Come on in, girl.”

Keisha walked through the door and her eyes
grew huge. “Wow, this is gorgeous.”

“Yeah, it is. Too expensive for my taste,
though.”

Keisha sat down, still looking around. It
was her first visit to Sean’s bachelor pad, and her eyes were
taking in all the place had to offer.

“Do you want some coffee?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

I came back quickly with some coffee for
her. “So how’s Daryl? I haven’t seen him in a minute.”

“He’s doing good. You know how busy he gets
with work and all. How are you doing?”

“I’m okay.”

“No offense, but you look a little stressed.
Are you still writing in your journal?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, so what’s going on with you?”

“It’s just that…I don’t know what I’m doing
here. I’m so confused, and Sean is sending me mixed signals. One
minute, I feel like he wants to be with me, and the next minute, he
trying to start something.”

“What you mean he’s trying to start
something?”

“He’s been trippin’, talking about I know more about
him than he knows about me and that he doesn’t want me to keep any
secrets from him. Then he supposedly stumbled across a clause in
the contract that we were married.”

“Wait a minute. What contract?”

“The contract I signed when I took this
job.”

“He made you sign a contract?”

“Well, he didn’t
make
me sign
it.”

“But why would you need a contract to baby sit?”

“Because Sean is a business owner and he
knows the importance of contracts, I guess. That’s just the way he
is.”

“And what about the kiss? Explain that one
to me. I still have visions of that. Oh my goodness. Woo!” Keisha
started fanning her face with her hand as if she was hit with a
heat stroke. We laughed together.

“He said the kiss was a reflex first,
right….then later, he said he kissed me because I hadn’t been away
from the house before and he just got caught up in the moment of me
leaving and all. I really don’t know.”

“I suppose that could happen.”

“As for this whole marriage thing, we both
agreed it was just an oversight, but he has on several occasions
jokingly
mentioned the whole marriage thing. Girl, one time
he called me Monica Beauvais.”

I almost made Keisha spill her coffee.

“Uh huh. That’s what I’m talking about. What
if the marriage isn’t a joke? What if Sean really wants to be with
you, Monica?”

“But why would he want to be with me?”

“I don’t know…maybe because you’re cute,
smart, funny, and he wanna holla.” Keisha laughed, causing me to
laugh slightly amidst my pondering. “Y’all do look cute
together.”

“No, I don’t think so. He’s too old.”

“Girlfriend, no one acknowledges age
anymore. And money takes age off of a man. So, since he’s rich,
he’s not really thirty-two. His calculated money age would be more
along the lines of twenty-eight.”

“And what psycho magazine did you read that
in?”

Keisha laughed at my comment. “I saw it on
some talk show. I can’t remember which one, but it’s true. Think
about it.”

“Even still, I wouldn’t want to be with him.
He’s absolutely gorgeous, but...”

“But what? He’s not your type?”

“Oh, he’s definitely my type. With the
exception of his bipolar disorder, he’s flawless.”

“He’s bipolar?”

“No, but he acts like it.”

“Sounds to me like you’re just making
excuses.”

“No, I’m not making excuses. I’ll tell you
what it is – Sean has a life, but he wants me to be a part of his
while I’m still trying to find mine.” That was the perfect
summation of all my problems thus far with Sean. He wanted me to be
there for him and Roman for as long as possible.

“And what determines whether or not you
succeed in finding yours? Finding Eric?”

“That’s part of it, yes.”

“And what if you don’t succeed?”

“Oh, thanks for such an optimistic outlook,
Keisha.”

“For real though, Monica. Have you thought
about the possibility that you won't find him?”

“You’re just as bad as Sean.”

“Well, maybe Sean has a point. Why run off
into the world looking for a child that you don’t know and that
doesn’t know you, when you have a little boy here that loves you to
death?”

“Because that little boy is not
my
little boy.”

“I betcha you couldn’t tell him that.”

I couldn’t hold the tears back. Keisha walked over
and put her arms around me. “Maybe this is fate,” she said. “What
if you were supposed to meet little Roman, fall in love with his
father, and live happily ever after? Roman might not be your son,
and I know this may be hard on you, but you can’t put your life on
hold to go looking for Eric. Right now, you’re telling me that your
success and happiness in life is solely based upon whether or not
you find Eric, and I think that’s dangerous.”

I thought on Keisha’s reasoning for a
moment. It did make sense. If I measured my happiness in life by
finding Eric, then I would sink into a low state of depression if I
could never find him.

“I see your point, Keisha. I don’t want to
accept it, but I see where you’re coming from.”

“Good. Finally, I’m getting through,” Keisha
said, as she smiled. “Now stop all that crying. Big sister don’t
like that. Oh, and girl, you better check out Mr. Beauvais, because
he sure is checking you out.”

I smiled while wiping my eyes.

“You think so?”

“I know so.” Keisha stood up and took her
keys off of the table. “Alright, well, I have to run by the school
to drop some things off before they lock the doors, but call me
later. Okay?”

“Will do. Thank you, Keisha.”

“No problem. That’s what I’m here for.”

Chapter 21 -
The
Proposal

As soon as Keisha left, Roman came walking
downstairs. He slept pretty late, too. It was going on noon when he
got up.

“Mommy, I’m hungry.”

“What do you want to eat? Do you want
cereal?”

“Yes. Can I have Fruit Woops?”

“Okay. Let’s go in the kitchen, sweetie.”

I made Roman a big bowl of Fruit Loops as he
had requested. My cell phone rang right after I turned on the TV in
the kitchen.

“Hello.”

“How is everything? How is Roman?” It was
Sean. After last night, I wasn’t expecting to hear anything from
him to be honest. Now, he was talking like nothing ever
happened…like everything was back to normal.

“Roman is fine. He just woke up a
lil’ while ago.”

“He’s just waking up now? It’s almost
noon.”

“I know, but he was up late last night, so
he slept in this morning. He’s eating cereal now.”

“Okay. Look, Warren is coming over around
five to watch Roman. I want you to meet me at El Grecos on
91
^st
and Appleton.”

What!
No way, no how, not going to
happen.
He has some nerve even asking me to go anywhere with
him.

“I know where El Grecos is, but why am I meeting you
there?”