She Comes First (12 page)
Authors: Ian Kerner
and
Break Moment
Y
OUR FIRST KISS
will leave her wanting more. It’s time to show her that you can go the distance. Now is a make-or-break moment, or, as you’ll soon see, a make
and
break moment—a critical juncture when many men make the mistake of sprinting for the finish line instead of pacing themselves to run a marathon.
Cunnilingus is all about the balance between movement and stillness, the counterpoint of action and reaction.
To that end, a flat still tongue pressed softly, later firmly, into her vulva will prove to be one of your most powerful positions.
Make sure that the interval between licks is long enough to let each one resonate fully and completely. Like calling out her name in a tunnel or cave, wait until the echo has completely subsided before calling out once again. Later, as the momentum builds to a peak, action
and reaction will overlap until they become virtually indistinguishable; but for now that’s a ways off.
• Feel your tongue against her vulva. Let your respective nerve endings find one another and conjoin in embrace. See and feel your tongue fusing with her vulva, and then…
•
Break
the contact. Your tongue should completely disconnect from her vulva for a split second, causing the slightest of tremors in her pelvis: an almost imperceptible shudder of shock from the loss of your tongue. Then…
•
Make
contact again. As with the first kiss, take a long, slow lick from top to bottom, and lushly brush against her clitoral head with the flat broad side of your tongue.
• Then, once again, maintain a flat tongue against her vulva; don’t press too hard and don’t favor any one particular part.
Leg-in-the-Air Position
It’s this “breaking and making” of contact between tongue and vulva that allows the buildup of sexual tension and will ultimately demand release through orgasm.
• Get a rhythm going: long, slow lick/flat, still tongue; long, slow lick/flat still tongue. Each complete set should last about ten seconds, with five seconds on the lick and five on the flat embrace of tongue against vulva.
• Repeat this pattern for about three minutes, or fifteen to twenty complete sets.
Tongue Tip:
As you get more familiar with the routine, use your hand to push up against her mons pubis for the lick (this tightens her vaginal entrance and brings her labia closer together), and then release when you lay your tongue flat against her vulva.
• Now
avoid
the head.
• Next, vary the routine with small halfway licks, from bottom to midvagina, avoiding the area of the clitoral head altogether.
• Focus on stimulating her inner labia. This way you’re not overexciting the head (remember how sensitive it is). You’re teasing it, gently coaxing the head out from under its protective clitoral hood by switching your tongue strokes: from light, repetitive licks that gently graze her to deeper, halfway licks that now avoid her altogether.
Literary Lick Number OneS
hakespeare wrote his plays to be performed, and there’s no better audience for his poetry than her vulva. The great Bard not only inspires us, but also teaches us how to apply our tongue strokes rhythmically.Shakespeare wrote most of his plays in verse, specifically in iambic pentameter. “Iambic” means that there is a stress on the second syllable of a word, and “pentameter” tells us that a line has five “feet,” or clusters of two syllables, adding up to ten syllables in total per line.
The rhythm of iambic pentameter is simple and straightforward: da-
dum,
da-
dum,
da-
dum,
da-
dum,
da-
dum.Think about that rhythm as it applies to a line from Shakespeare: “Shall I/com-pare/thee to/a sum/mer’s day?”
Now you’re ready to let your tongue take center stage. Grab your dusty college Shakespeare off the shelf, commit a few lines to memory, and then use your tongue to iambically stimulate her clitoris. Your performance will surely garner a standing ovation.
You’ve alerted the clitoral head to a variation in rhythm; you’ve rescinded the attention that it grew accustomed to. In this way, you compel the head to find
you,
to seek out your tongue.
Now, just when the head has been lured out from under its hood in search of the tongue that has been denied her, give it to her—smother her in it. Press the soft tip of your tongue into the head.
Like a wave washing over her, bathe the head for five seconds with your wet tongue. Feel her shudder with pleasure.
Tongue Tip:
As an enhancement to these routines, perform them with her legs in the air. Get a firm grip on her thighs and raise both legs so that only her butt is touching the bed. Lick her vulva tenderly and gingerly and note the tension in her legs and pelvic area as she pushes against your hands. This “pushing against a point of resistance” is a key element in developing hypertonicity—the muscular tension that contributes to sexual response and orgasmic release.
• Go back to your halfway licks. Start with a set of five.
• Then, once again, bathe the head with the soft, wet tip of your tongue. With each complete set, increase the amount of halfway licks you apply by one, until you reach a total of ten.
This routine establishes rhythm and builds sexual tension, with just a hint of unpredictability. Most important, this routine acclimates the clitoral head to oral stimulation.
- 1.
In this chapter, we discussed the importance of establishing rhythm and building a solid foundation, as well as exercising restraint when you might be tempted to apply rough passion. - 2.
After the first kiss, lick her vaginal entrance from top to bottom, and then rest your tongue flat against the surface of her vulva. Do this fifteen to twenty times. - 3.
Next, lick her five times with halfway strokes, focusing on the labia and staying clear of the head. On the sixth stroke, finish the movement and press the soft tip of your tongue into her head. - 4.
Repeat this pattern, increasing each set of halfway licks by one until you get to ten. - 5.
Use this routine to establish rhythm and acclimate the head to the attentions of your tongue.
N
OW IT’S TIME
to put some real ground behind us on the road of arousal. So far, your tongue has been leading; but now, in the spirit of good old-fashioned teamwork, let’s get your fingers and hands into the action. It’s all for one and one for all.
Think of your tongue, hands, and fingers as three members of a jazz trio. As with any great band, everyone has to work together in order to create beautiful music.
If, in our metaphorical trio, the tongue can be thought of as the “sax man,” then your fingers are behind the piano, anchoring the
tongue’s rousing solos with virtuoso rhythms. Fingers collaborate with the tongue to create an array of dizzying combinations.
To begin with, let’s explore the potential of a single finger and then later introduce more complex combinations. Use your index finger to:
• Flirt with her inner lips; trace the edges with your fingertip. Squeeze and pinch them playfully. Acquaint your index finger with all the diverse parts of her vulva, and take note of her responses.
• Gently stimulate her front commissure, the smooth area just above the clitoral head and hood.
• Lightly tap her frenulum, the region just below her clitoral head and above her vaginal entrance where her labia minora (inner lips) meet.
• Tease her fourchette, the area where the labia majora (outer lips) meet at the base of the vaginal entrance.
• Gently tickle the lower base of her vaginal entrance.
• As you allow your finger to wander, apply simple, steady tongue strokes. Note how the two work in combination.
• Now that you’ve teased her vulva, slowly insert the first two inches or so of your index finger into her vagina. Your finger should go in quite easily (assuming she’s amply aroused and lubricated) and you will likely feel her interior pelvic muscles throb in response and the clitoral cuff tighten around you.
A Teasing Thumb• Hold the position straight and still as you continue to apply simple tongue strokes. Don’t rush to insert more fingers. Save them for later. For now, there’s a teasing aspect to the still, single finger and its presence stimulates her pelvic muscles to work: you’re giving her something to reach for that ultimately eludes her grasp.
The nublike thumb is a perfect example of the power of width over depth.
• As a playful alternative to your index finger, insert your thumb just inside her vaginal entrance, as if you’re making a fingerprint. In addition to being shorter and squatter than the index finger, the thumb has more heft—so use it for shallower movements and to stimulate the surface of the vulva.
Tongue Tip:
Use your thumb in combination with your index finger. While your index finger is inserted in her vaginal entrance, rotate your thumb downward to the six o’clock position and then graze, tickle and press her perineum (the area of erectile tissue just below her vagina and above her anus). Or rotate your thumb back up to the twelve o’clock position and massage her frenulum, the area just below the clitoral head, while your finger is inserted in her vaginal entrance.
No jazz trio would be complete without the backup of the bass. Such is the role of your hands; not flashy like the tongue, or deft like the fingers, but nevertheless crucial in supporting the melody.
Assuming for the moment that you’re right-handed, it’s your left hand that will generally be employed in this supportive role, as your right hand will be focused on finger work (or vice versa if you’re lefthanded). Working from below, your hand provides a solid foundation for the action happening above. A firm, steady hand enables you to execute your tongue strokes with precision.
Let’s Review• Place your free hand under her buttocks and cradle them firmly. You should be able to easily squeeze both cheeks together. Use your hand to keep her in position and fine-tune the position of her vulva in relation to your mouth. Make no mistake: a steady hand is crucial, the backbone of a great session—it helps her to easily maintain persistent contact with your mouth and allows you to modulate the pressure against her vulva.
- 1.
In this chapter we commenced the process of developing sexual tension. We achieved this by introducing manual stimulation, namely in the form of a single finger inserted into the vaginal entrance. In doing so, we noted the response of her clitoral cuff and pelvic muscles. - 2.
We also highlighted an alternative to the index finger in the form of the thumb, as well as a playful combination in which the perineum is stimulated in combination with the index finger. - 3.
In addition to simple manual stimulation, we also emphasized the importance of using a hand to support her weight and keep her firmly in position. A steady grip helps you execute your tongue strokes and maintain persistent contact with her vulva.