Shhh... Gianna's Side (17 page)

I didn’t want to think about Mr. Nichols, so I thought about Mack. I should have seen the cracks begin to surface but I didn’t. Maybe if I had
, things wouldn’t have changed, maybe we could have saved our friendship and not let it turn into something unrecognizable. But it didn’t matter because my thoughts of Mack always led back to him.

“
Where do you keeping running off to, Mack? I feel like I never see you anymore.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean? You’re never around.”

“Oh, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We are hanging out right now.” I watched her eyes shift from me to the door behind me. I turned to see my dad standing there.

“Hey, Dad, did you need something?”

“Your mom wants to know if you’re going to be here for dinner.”

“I don’t think so.”

“What are you guys doing tonight?” he asked, looking at Mack.

“I don’t know, Kyle,” she responded.

“All right. Gianna
, have you been studying?”

“Mmm hmm. Haven’t I, Mack?” S
he nodded and I smiled back at my father, hoping that would be enough to get him to leave. It was.

“That was weird,” I stated and she shrugged.

“What do you want to do tonight?” I asked and then my cell phone buzzed with a call from Jake.

“Hey
, doll,” I answered.

“Hey
, baby. Guess what?”

“Huh?”

“I’ll be in town in about an hour. How about I pick up my favorite girl and take her out for some ice cream and then maybe we can go back to my parents and watch a movie in my old bedroom,” he said in a suggestive tone.

“Ummm…why are you coming home?”

“That’s your response?”

“No! I’m sorry. I’m just confused is all,” I explained.

“I can’t come home to see my girlfriend?” he accused.

“Of course you can. I miss you
, too,” I expressed, trying to make him feel at ease.

He chuckled
. “Great! Get that sexy, beautiful ass in something for me and I will see you soon,” he ordered and hung up.

I hung up and threw my phone on the bed
. “Jake’s coming home.”

She smiled
. “Oh yay!” She cocked her head to the side. “Why aren’t you more excited?”

I smiled
. “I am! I’m just surprised, I haven’t seen him since dinner a few months ago.” 

“Is everything okay, Gia? You’ve been really strange?”

I bit my nail; I couldn’t take it anymore. “Actually, Mack, I gotta tell–”

Her phone
buzzed and she grabbed it to look at it. “Shit! I got to go. I forgot I promised my mom I would help her with something.” She placed her phone in her back pocket and got off the bed. “Can we talk about this later?”

I nodded and she left.

I was going to tell her everything, but I took it as a sign from God that she wasn’t meant to know. Mr. Nichols, James, which I began to call him, we were spending a lot of time together; I’d hang out at his house mostly, just because we couldn’t be seen in public together. Every time I was with him, I wanted more, I was greedy for it. I told him everything and never held back one damn thing; he was so easy to talk to and always understood where I was coming from. He knew it all, from my dad, to Mack, to school–I hid nothing. We usually just talked, and even though we would rent movies and made plans, we never did them. I enjoyed hearing the stories about his life and how he grew up similar to me.

His parents had the same expectations. He told me it
gets to a point where you have to let it go and let things be. I prayed that it would happen for me, for us. We even talked about his wife, he said they were going to get a divorce and share custody of Cara, and that it was amicable. He was going to keep the house and she was going to move back in with her parents for a little while, unsure of what she wanted to do with her future. We never talked about Jake, and I was grateful for that because I didn’t know how to respond. And the fact that he was away and I barely saw or spoke to him, made it easier. The less we talked, the more I was convinced he had secrets and was doing his own thing, but he probably felt the same way I did and didn’t know how to break it off with me. I was his safe spot.

It had been a few months since the park night and we still weren’t intimate. We continued to mess around
, but as soon as it would get too much, he would immediately stop, much to my disapproval. In all honesty, we barely even did the messing around stuff, we didn’t have to. Our connection was strong and powerful and we didn’t need the sexual things to be happy and content. Being around each other was enough for us. He told me about his favorite dinners and I tried to cook them for him, and he would chase me around the house when I wouldn’t let him touch me. He told me about his dreams and aspirations and I told him mine. I was happy, I mean really happy for the first time in my life. But every time I left his house, I left myself there, and I was back to being Gianna. The real me stayed with him though, right in his soul, where no one could take me away.

Jake and I went to eat ice cream. We shared a large chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and fed each other. He accidentally missed my mouth and got it on my nose and
he started to lick it off me, which proceeded to us kissing, and then me pulling away.

“Hey…” he said, grabbing my chin to look at him. “What happened?”

I didn’t want to look at him, it all was becoming too much. I didn’t know what to do and he hadn’t promised me anything, but he didn’t need to, right? We were kismet and we would be together after I graduated.

I shook away the thoughts
. “Nothing. We’re in public,” I addressed.

He grinned
. “Is that your subtle way of saying you want to go so we can be alone?”

I panicked
. “I’m on my period,” I lied.

“Oh…I thought you just had your period two weeks ago. You said you had bad cramps when we talked on the phone.”

I licked my lips. “Right. I missed a pill and it’s thrown off my entire cycle now. I think that’s why my cramps were so bad.”

He nodded
. “It doesn’t matter. I came here to see you, not make love,” he vowed, making me feel like an even bigger piece of shit.

He kissed me and I kissed him back
. “Miss Edwards.” I knew that voice. We both turned to see Mr. Nichols standing there. He was livid, his hands were closed fisted by his sides and I was almost certain he wanted to knock Jake the fuck out.

“Do you think it’s appropriate to be sucking face in a family establishment
?”

“We weren’t,” I replied, trying to remain in a neutral tone when I really wanted to apologize and put him at ease.  

“Tell that to everyone that was watching the show. Why don’t you have some more respect for yourself.” I blushed from embarrassment.

“Mr. Nichols, right?” Jake intercepted, making him look directly at Jake. His face said it all
; he wasn’t even trying to hide his reaction.

“Yeah, Jake, he’s my teacher. Maybe
we should go.”

“I don’t think your parents would approve if I called to tell them what I
, and half the town, just witnessed,” he threatened, stopping me dead in my tracks. He knew my dad would freak out on me. I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not.

Jake grabbed my hand and lifted me off the seat
. “Let’s go, baby, back to my place where we can be inappropriate in private.”

I looked back at him as we walked out and he never took his eyes away from our
interlocked hands.

It was around midnight when I pulled into my driveway
. Flashing headlights caught my attention and I looked back to see a white truck down the road. I smiled. I reversed and followed him; I knew where we were going. Twenty minutes later, we pulled into his suburban community. He opened the garage and signaled for me to park in there; as soon as I did, he shut it.

I made my way into his house and he walked through the front door and placed his keys on the coffee table. He went straight toward the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. I didn’t move from the spot by the garage door. I had no idea what was going to happen and I was terrified that he would end us, whatever us was.

He chugged almost the entire beer before we locked eyes. “Are you mad at me?” I inquired before I lost the nerve.

“I have no fucking idea,” he breathed out
, catching me off guard. He hardly ever cussed.

“G, you can sit where you want. Stop hiding by the door.” I nodded and moved to the couch. I sat in the smaller love seat all the way toward the right side
, and he sat on the coffee table in front of me.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. 

“I’m not,” he said without hesitation. “What the fuck was that?”

“Nothing. I haven’
t seen him since that night at dinner.” I shrugged. “We barely even talk to each other on the phone.”

“Why were you with him?”

“Because he surprised me and came into town,” I informed.

He cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes
. “That’s not what I meant. Try again.”

“He’s my boyfriend,” I stated.

His eyes widened. “Did you fuck him?” he countered, catching me completely off guard.

I nervously laughed, “What?”

“Did. You. Fuck. Him?” he hissed, using emphasis on every word.

“Ever?”

“Today,” he questioned impatiently. “Have his hands been on you? Has he been inside you?”

“No!” I screamed, not meaning to.

“When was the last time he DID fuck you?” he accused. “Answer the fucking question, Miss Edwards.” I hated it when he called me that and he knew it. He was trying to hurt me.

“Not since…not since the last time he was here when school started
, I didn’t fuck him that night after the restaurant. I couldn’t.” His eyes glazed over as if he expected me to say something different. They were calm again; they were the eyes of the man that I loved.

He hunched over and put his face in his hands in a frustrated and confused gesture. My hands found his hair and I scratched his head
, trying to relieve some of the tension. But mostly, I just wanted to touch him.

I sighed
. “What are we doing?” I questioned, unable to not know anymore.

His eyes peeked up at me like he was contemplating what he was going to say next
. He took a deep breath and sat up, looking right at me.

“I love you. I fucking love you, G. I’ve loved you since the moment you walked into my classroom. I tried…no I’m lying. I can’t even pretend to sit here and tell you that I tried to not love you because I didn’t. I couldn’t. I don’t know what the future holds for us, or if we even stand a chance at making this work, but I can’t walk away from you. The thought of not seeing you or being with you kills me
. There is no me without you,” he vowed.

I smiled and attacked him
, and by that, I mean, my body completely toppled over his. He fell flat on his back and I kissed every inch of his face over and over again. “I love you! I love you! I love you!” I repeated endlessly, and not nearly enough. He laughed and swiftly removed my shirt and bra. My pants and panties quickly followed. I was completely naked and he was still clothed. My breathing was jagged, as was his, and I lay there as his eyes took in every inch of my naked form.

“You’re breathtaking,” he praised
. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he carried me into his bedroom where he laid me down.

“I want to see you
, too,” I said.

He
grinned, and I admired his physique when he removed his shirt and then his shorts. His erect cock sprang loose immediately, and I couldn’t help but gawk at it.

I blushed
. “Wow.”

He kissed me
. “Stop being so adorable.”

We kissed
, just enjoying the new sensation of having skin on skin contact. He tasted like beer and something musky, manly; I couldn’t get enough of it.

“Tell me, baby. Have you ever been with a man?”

“Yes,” I responded, confused.

“You’ve been with a boy, G, a boy. I’m a man and I’m about to show you the difference,” he growled and urgently kissed me again.

His resistance against us not being intimate shattered. Our bodies tangled together under white sheets that smelled exactly like him. I was surrounded in a euphoric state of him everywhere around me, and I wanted to take residence in it and never leave. If we stayed in his bedroom like this for the rest of our lives, I would have died happy and content. That is where I belonged and no one could tell me differently. I rejoiced in knowing that I would be taking a part of him home with me. Being in his bedroom, his married bedroom, further proved to me that I was his everything.

I placed his hand over my heart and he placed
mine on his, and I swear they were beating in unison.

“I want to feel you all over,” he groaned
. “I want to get lost inside of you.”

No one had ever spoken to me like that before. I took in every word and sound that he made.

“Of all my loves this is the first and last. I could give all and more, my life, my world, my thoughts, my arms, my breath, my future, my love eternal, endless, infinite, yet brief, as all loves are and hopes, though they endure. You are my sun and stars, my night, my day, my seasons, summer, winter, my sweet spring, my autumn song, the church in which I pray, my land and ocean, all that the earth can bring. Of glory and of sustenance, all that might be divine, my alpha and my omega, and all that was ever mine,”
[10]
he quoted, making me almost die right there in his arms.

He pulled me closer to him and entwined our entire bodies together, like he couldn’t get me close enough to him. His fingers found my folds
, and he groaned when he felt the wetness that waited for him and only him. He rubbed the slick moisture that increased my arousal and need for him. He brought it up to my mouth and spread it all around my lips before placing it back on my nub, making slow, torturous circles. His tongue bit my bottom lip before he sucked it into his mouth and lapped at me, tasting all my juices like I was his favorite cocktail. His fingers made their way into my opening and I panted, withering beneath him. I felt my inner muscles twitching and convulsing around his fingers, and the tighter I got, the faster he would pump.

“I want you to come, baby. I want you to come so hard. You’re mine and I want to own
your body, mind and soul, and I don’t even know if that’s enough,” he urged in a tone of abandonment.

His hand moved from my heart to my hair, to my shoulders, and then to the curve my neck
, pulling me closer to him.

“Open your eyes, I want to see those beautiful green eyes come apart.”

My body burned everywhere for him, and I couldn’t get enough of him or his movements. It was like he knew every contour of my body, exactly how to touch me to send me in a frenzy. It didn’t take long for me to feel the effects of his touch and for my climax to emerge. He pulled my neck forward and placed his forehead on mine, we looked into each other’s eyes, mouths gaping open, getting lost in one another.

“I love you,” he whispered
, and that was my undoing.

I moaned and shook with release
. He didn’t stop until I was begging him to be inside me. He slowly moved on top of me, and to feel the weight of him was a feeling like none other. There was nothing in this world that I could compare to the way I felt in that moment, being there with him, surrounded by nothing but our love and devotion to each other. I let down my guard and every wall with this man; he knew me for who I really was. I felt like this was the first time I was truly giving myself to someone and we were about to make love.

My arms went around his neck as he slowly thrust inside me
, making me feel whole and complete. It was the first time in my life that I felt like I belonged somewhere, my place was right beside him. When he was inside me fully, he stopped and looked at me with emotions I couldn’t begin to describe. I saw everything in his eyes; they always spoke the truth to me.

“God, I don’t want this to end. I want to make love to you forever,” he doted.

I moved my hips forward as he thrust in, and our bodies moved in sync with one another as we made slow and passionate love. It was everything I have always wanted and didn’t know I could ever have.

We were just James and G.

He smiled a sincere, loving smile down at me as he kissed my lips with fury, and I tried to respond but I couldn’t. My mind was on the sensation of him being inside me and in the moment of us finally being together. My only responses were the instant satisfying moans that escaped, which only deepened the emotional feel of him pushing inside of me.

Moving a little faster,
he panted, “Does that feel good? You feel fucking amazing? Will I ever be able to get enough of you?”

“Yes…yes…God yes…” I screamed.

I could feel the intense pressure building up from my pussy to my abdomen. Our eyes consumed each other just as much as our bodies did. Our hearts were pounding, we were covered in sweat, and completely out of breath. I took in every caress and movement and matched it as best as I could, wanting him to know that I belonged to him. Just like he wanted me, too. My breathing labored and my pussy clamped down, I stared directly into his eyes as I came with nothing but love and utter devotion for him. He thrust in a few mores times, but exploded deep within my core, right where he belonged.

W
e laid there for several minutes, completely oblivious to everything around us. I didn’t want him to pull out and he must have thought the same thing, because we lay there wrapped up in each other.

Where we were one.