Soldier from Heaven (9781629021911) (16 page)

Later in the evening, my parents said their good-byes leaving Linda, Matt, and his parents at the house. Things had quieted down but the boys were still enjoying their time in the pool with their grandparents. Mary was in bed, and Linda was on the patio with the others while I cleaned up in the kitchen. Matt was bringing things in from the deck for me to put away. Ben ran in his room to get his new water gun for the tail end of the pool party. He emerged from his room with gun in hand and the model that Pete had helped him make the evening that he visited all of us.

“Uncle Matt, did you see the model Daddy made with me when he came to visit?”

“No, let’s see,” Matt replied a little perplexed by the comment about Pete visiting. “Was this from the last time your dad was home?”

“No, it’s when he went away but came back in the night before he died to say good-bye. He visited all of us. Then we went to his funeral.”

“Oh,” said Matt even more confused but choosing not to probe. He shot me a questioning look.

Ben took the model back to his room and then raced out to the pool. I was hoping Matt wouldn’t ask about what Ben said, but I knew it was coming.

“The day before he died?” Matt asked me quietly knowing very well that we did not see Pete the day before he died. Matt put two and two together and realized that Ben related Pete’s death to the day he found out, when I went to the hospital.

“Catherine? What is Ben talking about? Is he a little confused?”

“No,” I replied as a matter of fact.

“No?” Matt asked with eyes wide open pulling me by the arm into the living room.

“No, he’s not confused. Pete visited us the night before I found out that he was dead.”

“What?”

“Yes, we all sat down and talked a few months ago about it. Pete came to see all four of us. And he still comes to me.”

“Catherine, the boys think he visited them when he was dead?”

“No, the boys know he visited them to say his last good-bye. It’s all very special.”

“Wait, you said Pete still visits you.”

“Yes. You know how hard it was for me when he died. But he’s what got me through it. If it weren’t for him coming to me in the hospital, I may have never snapped out of it.”

I continued telling Matt everything about the hospital and subsequent visits, including the one at the bar. It wasn’t like when I told Linda. Matt accepted everything I said as truth. And despite the incredible nature of it all, he did not doubt my sanity. It was a great feeling.

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“I thought you would think I’m nuts like Linda did.”

“I would never think that, Catherine. I believe you.” And then Matt remembered our kiss. At that point he looked pretty angry. “
Wait.
Was he there when we—” Matt couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Kissed?” I finished for him. “Yes, that’s why I stopped.”

“What?” Matt yelled and then looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was there. “Oh man, my brother was watching us, he saw us.”

“He’s dead Matt, and we talked about it that night.”

“What?” he interrupted. “You talked to Pete about it. Man, you cheated on him. I kissed my brother’s wife.”

“He’s dead Matt. We did nothing wrong. You didn’t kiss his wife. You kissed his widow. He isn’t mad, heck, I’ll kiss you again to prove it.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“I’m kidding, lighten up.”

“It isn’t funny, Catherine. You should have told me this. If I knew he was here peeping around I would never have kissed you. This is crazy.”

“Matt, I know this is weird, but you are acting like he’s alive and you didn’t know it. He’s dead. It took me a really long time to admit it and accept it, but I have. I’m sorry I told you.”

“No, don’t be sorry.” Matt ran his fingers through his hair and paced in a circle. “I just don’t know what to make of this. What do we do?”

“Just let it go,” I replied coming to a realization. “We just let it go and do nothing. We just keep on living our lives.”

I knew at that moment when I spoke those words exactly what I had to do. It was time to live my life the way it was meant to be. It was time to let go. Matt turned away not wanting to talk about it anymore. We finished cleaning up and eventually everyone left.

“Nice party.”

I turned to see Pete standing by the window in our bedroom. I was getting ready to turn in for the night and had just gotten on my night gown. I was wearing the white chiffon baby doll that I bought for our honeymoon so many years prior.

“You look just as beautiful as the first time you wore that for me on our honeymoon,” Pete said with a look of longing on his face.

“Hi, love,” I said looking at him with a coy smile. “It was a lovely birthday today. Ben was so happy to be with the family. He showed Matt the model you made with him.”

“I know.”

“So do you also know I told your brother about you?”

“Yes, I was there. I didn’t let you see me.”

“Really? Are you so advanced now that you can decide not to show yourself?” I said that jokingly but knew it was turning into a very serious conversation.

“I guess you can say that,” Pete replied with the same attempt at humor but not able to hide the seriousness. “I do it a lot because I don’t think you want me around as much. But I can’t seem to stay away from you. I also heard your words to Matt and that confirmed it for me.”

“Pete, I think you are becoming too attached, too human. You weren’t like this in the beginning.”

“I know. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I wasn’t supposed to interfere. But now, I just can’t let you go.”

“You have to, Pete. I love you, but I love you too much to keep your soul trapped here. I was unfair to pull you here.”

“I must have wanted it badly enough. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here, Catherine. I like watching all of you. I love being with all of you, even if you don’t know I’m there. Please tell my brother I’m thankful he’s taking care of you.”

“I will. But Pete, we do know you are here with us, even if we don’t see you. We will always feel you with us,” I said softly knowing this was a good-bye.

“No matter what happens in the future, no one will ever or can ever replace the love we had. No one. And it would just be temporary until you and I meet again. And we will.”

“I know, angel.”

“Pete, I have to let you go,” I said putting my head down trying unsuccessfully to hold back the tears that fell down my cheeks. I felt Pete’s touch on my cheeks wiping the tears away. I hadn’t felt his touch in so long. I closed my eyes and held onto the moment trying to memorize every slow stroke. I felt the love we had for so many years and the joy we shared together. And in that moment, I felt peace. I realized that the touch was gone. I opened my eyes and saw that Pete was no longer there. I had set him free. That night, at that moment, I released him. He was free to rest in peace.

On rare occasions, I would still see him as I glanced over my shoulder and a few times he visited me in my dreams. It wasn’t until several years later that he stopped appearing to me all together. But at that moment, we were both set free to live out our lives the way God intended. And his life no longer belonged there with me.

Epilogue

Yes, today is a wonderful day to be alive. I hear the birds chirping happy songs, the squirrels scurrying up trees with acorns, and the laughter of young children outside of my window. Those beautiful sunbeams that I feel on my face are indeed the magnificent lights of Heaven. I hear my shepherd calling me to his flock. It is time to go. I only pray that my sweet Jesus will help my children through this time as he had when I lost my husband all those years ago. I know he will. I’m not worried. I cannot feel worry at all. I feel nothing but peace right now. Yes, it was a wonderful life.

I see my love in the distance coming towards me out of the most beautiful light I have ever seen. The glistening lights of Heaven are creating a path for me. He’s here now, my sweet Peter, looking just as he did the day that he left me.

“I’m so happy to see you, my dear. I’ve missed you so. You are here to take me aren’t you?”

“Yes, Catherine, it’s time.”

I can finally touch my beloved again, and he’s taking my hand in his. I’m leaving my old, weak body behind and see my soft, young hand in Pete’s. We are young and beautiful and going home together.

As I am carried away into the arms of Heaven’s shining light, the faces of my children appear before me. But I am not sad. I know I am going home. And I know that soon, very soon, my beautiful angels will join us in God’s Eden. I can wait. I can wait.

Now I know what it feels like to be in the everlasting happiness and glory of our Lord. I know how much I am leaving behind on Earth, but somehow it doesn’t seem to matter. I’m not sad. Those are but earthly things. And I know this same happiness is promised to my sweet children as well. And whatever sadness they may now feel will disappear when they reach this eternal light. Jesus will help them through the tough times on Earth. Perhaps he will allow me to watch over them when they need me. Either way, there is nothing to fear anymore. No, I have seen the glory of God. I am once again walking off into the sunset with my soldier from Heaven.