Succumbing To His Fear (16 page)

Fear

“He’s perfect for you.”

“Yeah, he is perfect.” His need to fill silences and the word vomit were going to be interesting, but they were exactly what someone like me needed. John knew me. He knew that too. And even with all the other shit whirling around us, he was happy for me.

“This is Ben, Alfie’s dad.” He was the closest thing to a dad, at any rate. He and John shook hands and traded hellos. I think we were all too exhausted for any more conversation. Although, I remembered to add, “And if you think Alfie is something, wait till you meet Sheridan.”

Ben’s chuckles were cut short when John asked, “Who’s Sheridan?” I couldn’t help it; I laughed, and was quickly joined by both men.

We were still laughing when Alfie came back with his phone to his ear. “No, I’m not mad… Yes, you should definitely do that… No, he won’t be mad at you either… No, he’s right here… okay, hold on.” Alfie looked at me, putting his hand over the end of his phone.

“Griffin is worried you will be mad at him. Because he made JJ cry. From what I can work out, he and Lily were playing and he tripped and fell, knocking over a vase or whatever. The noise woke up JJ. I don’t think it was just that, though. Hayley had just gotten the baby to sleep and I think she started crying and now he thinks we won’t let him come back because he made them both cry,” he explained, rapid-fire style. “Lily cried herself to sleep because she said it was all her fault and didn’t want anyone mad at Griffin. But Griffin has been up and down all night. He was too scared to call us in case we’d be mad. Mum said that Hayley was only upset that he was upset.” Alfie sighed. I knew all this was weighing on him and he wanted to be there for Griffin and Lily. 

I held out my hand. “Give me the phone, baby.” Which he did and came around and plopped down into my lap.

“Griffin, you still there, little buddy?” I could hear little hiccups and sniffs.

“I am really, really sorry, Fear. I didn’t mean to wake up the baby. I fell and I knocked over the big pot. It was really loud. And because the baby was crying, Lily cried, and then Hayley cried, and I didn’t mean it… I promise.” He was so upset it all came spilling out of him.

“Hey, it’s okay. Did you hurt yourself when you fell down?”

“Uh huh.”

“Is it still hurting?” I asked.

“No. You sure you’re not mad at me? You will let me come home, right?” The fear in his voice was sobering.

“Of course you’re coming home. You, Lily, me, and Alfie are a team, right?”

“Promise?”

“Yes, I promise. Now why don’t you get some sleep and I’m gonna call you in the morning to talk about all the things we’re going to do when you get back from your New York adventure.”

“Okay, Fear. Love you, and Alfie, too.” Hearing those words from my little man, because at that point he was just as much mine as Lily and Alfie were, made my heart jump and fill.

“You too, little man. Now get some sleep.”

“Okay. Night, night, here’s Gamma.” I could hear the phone rustle, being passed over to Sheridan.

“How is my big hunk of burning love?” she asked. I didn’t respond, just quickly handed the phone back to Alfie. I could feel his body shaking, so I knew he’d heard his mother.

After a few words passed back and forth, Alfie asked if Hayley was up. Sheridan said that she was sleeping but would probably be up in a couple of hours to feed the baby. Alfie asked his mom to get Hayley to call his phone when she woke and told his mother to get back to bed.

“Why don’t we all get a couple more hours of sleep? Tate is in your room, John. Want me to go kick him out? Or you can have the spare and Alfie and I will sleep in here with Ben,” I asked, not really sure how we’d all managed to fit in the little house for the last couple of days. But the guys had just slept where they happened to drop. The kids were in with JJ or Ben and Sheridan had taken them to the hotel. We weren’t all asleep at the house at the same time.

“It’s fine. I’ll just go and crash in the nursery.” Getting up slowly, he paused just long enough to confirm that we’d come and wake him as soon as Hayley called.

After making sure Ben was good, we headed back to our room and quickly settled in bed. Neither of us felt like talking and Alfie was still out of commission after last night’s activities. A quick blowjob or hand job was not something I would’ve turned down, but all I really wanted to do was hold him and sleep knowing that he was safe next to me. Alfie didn’t seem to mind, as he immediately crawled into my arms with his head on my chest.

“Love you,” he whispered. And my arms tightened around him. I would get better at that, I promised myself. There would never be a day that he didn’t know what he meant to me.

I was awakened when the phone rang, and I answered quickly so as not to wake the sleeping man curled up beside me. I told Hayley that I had a surprise for her as I made my way quietly down the hall to the nursery and a sleeping John. I woke him softly and handed over the phone to listen to my sister scream from across the room. She had her family back together. I was beyond glad for her. If anyone deserved a bit of happiness it was her.

I returned to our room and curled my body around Alfie’s as fast as I could. Hayley was now complete and so was I. If we could just get the rest of the shit sorted out, my life would be practically perfect. But when have I ever gotten perfect?

Two days and nothing. No news from the lawyer. No news from Ben’s men. Detective Unders was still in the wind. Everyone was on edge and frustrated. All of our lives were on hold.

John had decided that Hayley was safest where she was, but he wanted to stay with us to help. The guilt at knowing that I was keeping my sister in limbo with me was not easy to swallow but knowing my sister like I did, I knew she wouldn’t have it any other way. It was what it was, so I just shut up and dealt with it along with everything else. 

We were sitting down for something to eat when we got the news. Detective Unders had been found. The only problem was that he’d been found with multiple gunshots to the face. Of course, I was suspect number one. With an alibi and at least two people to account for my whereabouts, I was hoping whatever evidence they dreamt up wouldn’t stick. It wasn’t long before we found out that they were branching out.

Four police officers turned up at the door and asked all of us to accompany them down to the station. And when I say asked, I mean cuffed and escorted via cruiser. Ben, John, Drake, Carter, Alfie, and I were all separated immediately upon arriving at the station. It was a different station from where I’d been taken before. James and Tate had been at the shop when the cops showed up to grab them. It wasn’t clear to me if they cared who they got. I couldn’t even be sure if they were trying to find anyone specific. It seemed like anyone would do just fine in their book.

I was worried about Alfie because I knew he’d be freaking out. It’d been a long time since I saw anyone, and knew that if they were leaving me alone it meant they were concentrating on someone else, maybe him.

After an endless wait, the door opened and a miserable-looking officer said that I was free to leave. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I didn’t question him and made my way to the front of the station to pick up my cell phone and keys. As soon as I made my way to the reception area, I saw that Alfie wasn’t there.

“Where is he?” I shouted. Something wasn’t right. Ben, who looked just as worried as me, was on his phone. For a man who is usually so stoic, it was unnerving to see him show his emotions so openly. “Where is he?” I asked again, when I don’t get an answer the first time. Carter and Drake shook their heads. They were as much in the dark as I was.

“Excuse me, Officer, can you tell me where Alfred McKenzie is?” The man behind the desk looked up at me and then back to his computer. At first, I thought he was going to ignore me, but when he asked me to spell Alfie’s name I realized that he was looking.

“I’m sorry sir, I don’t have any information. You need to speak to the detective in charge of the case, Detective Littleton. I’ll ask him to come down and talk with you. Take a seat,” he said, pointing at the plastic chairs in the entryway.

With my anxiety growing, I walked over to Ben, who was now off the phone. “Detective Littleton is coming down to talk to us. I just don’t understand why Alfie isn’t here,” I said, rubbing my hands down my face.

“Me either, this is all bullshit,” Ben replied, the worry in his voice turning to anger.

The door leading to the police bullpen opened and a short, stocky man appeared. It was obvious that he did not want to talk to us. With a frustrated air, he made his way over. “I’m Detective Littleton.”

Not giving anyone else the chance to talk, I jumped right in. “Where’s Alfie?”

“Mr. McKenzie is being detained for further questioning.” What the fuck? I wasn’t sure what my expression was, but it must have been pretty bad because we were all shuffled into a private room before anyone else could speak. 

“Look, this is all off the record. I know your troubles from before and the only reason I’m even explaining myself is because I think you got a raw deal. Do I think you killed your mother? No, I do not. Has someone made it look like you did? Without a doubt. Do I think that Mr. McKenzie had anything to do with the death of Detective Unders? No, I do not. Unfortunately, there is evidence to suggest otherwise. Evidence that cannot be ignored.” Littleton turned to Ben, having previously been talking directly to me, and continued. “It won’t come as a surprise to you that we’ve checked you all out. What we found only confirmed my suspicions.” He knew John was US Army and Ben was British Army. Drake, Carter, and I didn’t have criminal records. Neither did Alfie.

“What’s the evidence?” Ben asked. “Off the record, of course.” With those words, Ben had drawn a line. Which side would the detective stand on? His words were exactly what we needed to hear, but words were just that, words. They were nothing that would help get us out of our current situation.

“Prints on the murder weapon.” Fuck. Why was someone trying to fuck with us?

“Planted,” Ben spat out.

“I believe so, yes. Because it is only my belief, and I have no proof, I have to do this by the book. Considering everything else that’s happened, my superiors are watching my every move with a magnifying glass.” I knew what he meant. To have a detective come up dirty tarnished them all. The bosses wanted answers and they didn’t want to be made to look any worse than they already did.

I looked directly at Littleton; he had to understand the importance of what I was saying. “Please don’t let them use Alfie as a scapegoat for all this. He didn’t do anything. You only have to talk to the man for a minute to know that.”

“I won’t let that happen to him,” he replied sincerely. “Just watch all your backs. Someone got close enough to watch where and when you all were. They knew who was left alone long enough that he wouldn’t have a solid alibi. They got close enough to lift prints. They’re fucking with you and they’re smart. Smart enough to frame both you and Alfie for a crime. Charges, which even if you’re cleared of, still cause damage to both your lives and reputations.” Looking down at his watch, he said, “I have to go. I’m the detective in charge of both cases now. I’ll make sure that Alfie can call you soon.” He handed his card over to Ben and swiftly walked out of the room.

“What are we supposed to do? Just leave him here?” I was shaking my head before I even finished the question. I couldn’t leave him there. What if he got jumped like I did? What if he got hurt?