Tantric Orgasm for Women (8 page)

Energy Flows from Male into Female

The intrinsic properties of the vagina are passive and receptive, welcoming, silky, serene, sensitive. The vagina is not an external organ like the penis; it is an inversion, a canal providing flow into the body, a delicate muscular recess. It is not designed to take direct action but to exert an influence on the penis through the quality of energy present in its tissues.

The physical correspondence of the penis fitting into the vagina is not accidental. The design is like this
because energy flows from male into female,
not the opposite way.*
¹
This is the direction of flow—from penis into vagina, from plus to minus. Through a balance in polarity a doorway opens; energy streams upward through our internal energy channels.

The penis is therefore to be appreciated as a conduit for vital energy as well as for semen. Likewise, the vagina is the receptacle for this force as well as for the semen necessary for reproduction. Woman as the feminine, receptive force has the capacity to draw the male energy upward through her vagina, as if raising it to a higher frequency. The vagina melts around the penis and drinks the energy radiating from it. When the penis and the vagina are united in penetration they form one complete unit, one dynamic force and one passive force, a live electromagnetic circuit.

However, women report that the vagina is rarely involved in their experiences of real sexual pleasure. The presence of the penis alone is seldom sufficient to create any kind of heightened experience. Very few
women report a type of vaginal orgasm in which the vagina reaches an
extraordinarily heightened state of sensitivity, in which the penis produces an
experience of pleasure that is infinitely prolonged, utterly ecstatic. The
vagina needs to be reincorporated in lovemaking, to take its rightful place in
accessing pleasure and the flowering of orgasmic states. In a manner of
speaking, until the moment of penetration man walks around as half a unit, half
a circuit, and woman exists as the other half of the very same circuit. We must begin to ask ourselves in what way these two half circuits can meet so as to maximize the built-in energy circuit.

It is here, at the level of the genital interaction, where perhaps the greatest confusion in sex lies. How should the vagina best relate to the penis? How should they conduct themselves when they get together? What would
they
want for themselves if we did not force our personal expectations on
them? These are questions we don’t normally even think of asking because our sexual past has proved to us that the backward and forward movements of the penis in the vagina is what sex is all about. Without this rubbing interaction between them we think sex is not feasible, and so it is
a stretch to imagine that other pleasures really do exist.

The truth is that the vagina, as passive pole, ought to be maintained wide and easy, available to receive the maximum impact of the male energy. When the vagina is physically and energetically open, man is finally able to flow
into and through
woman, following the direction of energy flow from positive to negative.

The Vaginal Consequences of Conventional Sex

With no choices available to us in sexual expression we stick to one style of sex, a style that has many unfortunate consequences. The greatest disadvantage for a woman is that the vaginal tissues are adversely affected, their receptive qualities gradually deadened. In the first place, a man usually penetrates a woman well before her sexual temperature is sufficiently high for her to invite him in. Man basically wants to enter as soon as he has an erection, and this forced entry makes the vagina reluctant and defensive rather than welcoming and willing.

Second, once man has entered, the repeated friction of the penis against the
sensitive, silky vaginal walls has another negative effect: the vagina changes
from a highly perceptive and receptive canal into a toughened, protected one. With time an increasing lack of sensitivity develops within the vaginal cavity itself. When the vagina toughens up this way, its magnetic perception of the entering male half circuit is drastically reduced. The receptive, absorbent tissues are instead literally covered over with thickened skin. The tensions held in the vagina, which can show up sometimes as sexual excitement, form an artificial screen of positive charge, almost male in character, that hinders a woman from absorbing male energy.

Third, the physical movements of the pelvis that go with the usual sex routine add to the increasing insensitivity within the vagina. Extremes of pelvic movement amount to a woman using her vagina in an active way rather than a passive way. Movement converts the vagina into an active, doing, outgoing organ. And the vaginal canal gets physically restricted and narrower, which disturbs the subtle, receptive energies of the vaginal environment. We use the penis and the vagina to have a nice rub together because we do not have the sense of how they communicate and exchange energy through their magnetic polarities. When the vagina becomes shy because of forced visits, hardened through friction, and tightened through movement, all the necessary passive complementariness to the male dynamic is obscured.

It’s important to realize that simultaneous to this desensitizing of the vagina, the penis is
also
becoming less and less perceptive. With accumulating years the male organ becomes highly congested, tense and over-charged, excessively positive. In the same way that the vagina cannot absorb, the penis fails to function as a transmitter of pure positive male energy. This distortion of our given polarities is the root cause of our lack of deep, moving sexual experiences. The good news is that the polarity is not destroyed—it is hiding beneath this screen of tension. Overcoming the sexual habits and patterns responsible for this step away from polarity is the most direct route to reclaiming femininity (and masculinity) and regaining our inborn sensitivity.

Preserve the Vagina as a Sacred Place for the Penis

The first disconcerting observation a woman may have is that
when there is no movement in sex, she cannot feel very much at all going on with
the penis in the vagina. This is clear evidence that her vaginal walls have
toughened up through excessive stimulation; through aggressive, hard thrusting of sex; and also through fingers and synthetic objects being inserted into the vagina. A woman is encouraged to respect and preserve her vaginal sensitivity and to take special care about what enters the vagina and how. It is best to consider the vagina as a sacred place for the penis. Too many uncaring visits and invasions lead to loss of vaginal sensitivity, and from there, to reduced capacity to perceive vaginal pleasure and delight.

In the short term, most forms of direct stimulation inside the vagina may increase pleasure; but in the long term, more and more stimulation will be required to produce the same effect. Increasing numbness sets in as the body gradually forms a protective layer and becomes less and less sensitive to the stimulation. With objects and fingers there exists no real energetic
correspondence, as there is with the penis during penetration. Objects can
produce an effect through stimulation and resulting excitement, but they cannot possibly substitute for the profound effect of the living penis. A woman can resensitize her vagina through changing her style of lovemaking and learning to trust the power of receptivity.

Accessing Deeper Reaches of the Vagina, the Female Epicenter

It will interest women to know that the most meaningful part of the vagina is not the tighter entrance area, with its rings of muscle (which men like to focus on for stimulation), but the higher parts of the vagina, especially around the mouth of the uterus. It is here that the feminine pole is most negative and most receptive. This is where a woman is more likely to experience quite heavenly sensations and access altered states of consciousness. A woman will experience this phenomenon even if she has
had her physical uterus and cervix removed. But this upper part of the vagina is usually not touched by the penis because the vagina is restricted and tense, in part to protect and guard against fast deep penetration. Most women, whether they are conscious of it or not, hold the upper part of the vagina tightly closed because it is
extremely
painful when the penis aggressively hits up against the cervix.

To allow a man to reach this most sacred focal point in woman—a place that
can be thought of as the garden of love—she must keep the vagina relaxed.
Essential for this is the prerequisite of a loving penis and, initially, an
exaggeratedly slow penetration of the vaginal canal, millimeter by millimeter. One penetration to the very depths of the vagina can easily take several prolonged minutes, and even then perhaps the lovers will remain still for some minutes more before the need for further movement arises.

This style of deep penetration will bring the epicenter of the female pole, the area around the cervix, to correspond directly with the head of the penis, which is like a highly sensitive magnet. If the penis is unable to reach as high as the cervical area, women have reported that the cervix itself draws closer to the head of the penis. Between the negative cervix and the radiant positive penis head, a powerful interaction on an electromagnetic level occurs, with a catalytic discharge of the accumulated tensions that are lodged in the tissues causing insensitivity. The penis will have this effect in the vagina as a whole, and particularly in this upper region.

Healing Sexual Traumas with Deep Penetration

Many women carry forward into their lives the devastating emotional pains and tensions resulting from sexual abuse they suffered as young girls. Courageously they piece themselves together again to enter the sexual domain, sometimes as deeply wounded beings. Some fortunate women are able to get therapy to process the past, to work the feelings out of their energy system. While this is certainly helpful, there still remains a residue of the memory stored on a cellular level in the body, particularly in the vagina, the lower belly, and the ovaries. These disturbing memories may on occasion unconsciously get triggered, resulting in recurring emotional outbreaks
and unhappiness as the woman reexperiences the negative vibrations of her past, still active inside her. (See
chapter 10
for a more detailed discussion of emotions.)

All the old memories and feelings, stored as tensions, can be discharged by
the penis—the very organ that did damage in the first place. Unconsciousness
caused the damage; consciousness can heal it. Lack of love was the cause; love
can heal it. The penis is able to gradually break up and discharge tensions and
return vaginal tissues back to sensitivity and aliveness. In fact, most women
will notice that the vagina has many painful places that only become discernible
and evident when the vagina is more relaxed, having given up its guard, and when
the penis is slow and loving. Pain almost always reflects tension, or it
reflects a memory or an inner holding of some kind. The releasing of old
tensions enacts a profound healing for the female psyche. (And the penis
experiences the same kind of healing through this process.) The partner exercise
at the end of this chapter provides practical details on deep penetration.

A woman shares her experience:
“When we did the deep penetration I had a big energy release at my womb. It was very painful but at the same time it felt very good; it was almost unbearable. I understand now about how energy is stuck inside. I felt lighter afterward and I can feel my womb pulsing. But today I was even more aware of the tension. It is as if I’m noticing this tension for the first time, and the more I feel the release, the more aware I am of the tension.”

A woman shares her experience:
“About the deep penetration around the cervix—at first I felt beautiful sensations and joy and I had the image of having a very small gold treasure box in there. But that was very short-lived. After, it became an unbearable physical sensation right at the cervix. We had to stop many times because I could not take it, and all the time I was having an electrical discharge all over the body. It became more unbearable when we made love later that night. I had great discomfort, I was tense everywhere. Then I started to have the feeling of being at the doctor and I connected with the actual fear of physical pain right at the
cervix. I remembered gynecological visits, where they touch there to take samples for tests, and the painful insertion of an IUD. As I talked to my lover about it the pain calmed down. In the morning I experienced total relaxation, silence, presence, and stillness as we made love.”

A man (partner of the previous woman) shares his experience:
“The love-making was very powerful in that a lot came up for my partner. It would be so intense for her that I had to come out several times. Finally something released and it was beautiful to feel her vagina relax and suddenly I started crying.”

A woman shares her experience:
“Today there was much pain released during the penetration, in my vagina and my heart. All the rapes came back. I had a big emotional outburst and found it difficult to accept that nevertheless it happened—and my vagina is feeling more alive and still very painful—so is my heart. For me right now it is an emotional phase. Cramps and pains, release in the vagina, vivid memories of different abuse stories, abortions, sterilization. Often tears come up and a deep mistrust and for the first time I see how the sexual abuse has wounded me, made me vulnerable, and much is opening up in my heart. I see the tendency in myself to trash that vulnerability with jokes and power games.”

A woman shares her experience:
“When I open, there is a flower in my vagina, deep inside, like at the cervix or thereabouts. I can speak from there. It is a welcoming. It is like another heart in my body. I have experienced this before but I never valued it.”

A woman shares her experience:
“Whenever the movements
get too much for me, I say ‘stop,’ and my partner waits for a while and later
begins moving again. We have found a form that is feeding our basic hunger, caring for our tissues’ needs for exchange instead of friction, and we have become much more sensitive. When we go for friction sex every once in a while just to see what it’s like, we both get so sore and itchy we have to wait a week before we are back to normal. All we need for our physical healing is simply putting the penis in the vagina! Speaking of which: the medicine
I had bought before our first workshop to heal my heavy fungus has been sitting in the refrigerator unused ever since. My vagina has never had fungus again!”

Healing is usually a process that happens in layers, sometimes
gradually and sometimes more quickly. Do not expect immediate results or even
instant ecstasy. Healing depends a great deal on how willing a woman is to relax
into her nature and to release the past that she is carrying. When old feelings arise it is not essential to understand the source of trauma; if you do, great, but you need not search around for the reason why your tears are falling—simply dive into the feeling and express it. Otherwise you can get lost in thought and lose contact with the feelings welling inside. Women also carry pain on a collective level, for all of womankind and the tragedies of humanity.

Following a period of cleansing of old memories and pains, the polarity will be fully restored. Women will feel an ecstasy generated by the luminous, beaming penis head corresponding in its rightful way with the epicenter of the passive, absorbent vagina. In these moments a woman can also feel a vibration in the opposite end of the magnetic rod: in the heart and breasts. And many women report the experience that as the energy moves upward to reinforce the opening in the breasts, it is as if the penis actually penetrates the heart, the female positive pole. It becomes a full-bodied experience, radiating through arms, legs, and head—at times the sensation extends beyond the body, giving rise to a bodiless, floating sensation. The experience of penetration is not limited to sensations localized in the vagina. The vagina is the physical entry point of the female energy system, and as such the vagina is only part of the total experience.