Tantric Orgasm for Women (9 page)

The Breasts Impulse the Vagina and Expand Energy

When first “in” love, women report that they more easily have experiences of orgasm. This is true because the heart is naturally open, chest and breasts alive and vibrating in love energy. The vagina, at the other end of the magnetic rod, automatically begins resonating and answering.

As years pass lovers can lose their initial sensitivity and aliveness to
themselves and to each other. Slowly, sex becomes more routine; each starts to
take the other for granted and forgets to appreciate his or her partner’s good qualities. This process is often accompanied by a diminishment of energy vibrating in the heart center. Sometimes this corresponds with the common experience of the “honeymoon being over,” where suddenly something radiant but invisible evaporates. The sensation of being
in love
with a man becomes one of loving
him
. This in itself is fine, but life can become full of habits that distance us from the heart center and from our partner. For a woman, this distance can also affect her orgasmic capacity.

Fortunately, the converse is also true. When a woman approaches the sexual act with her breasts, in their organic sequence, the female positive pole vibrates, generating orgasmic states.
Being
in love becomes a daily reality.

To summarize, there is a circular movement in the female energy system that flows down first and then upward. Following polarity, the sexual energy awakens initially in the breasts and then overflows to the vagina before turning upward again to return to the heart. Any intensification of touch or awareness at the breasts at any time will create further overflow and intensification of experience, and will even enhance male erection. (See
chapter 8
for woman’s part in erection.) Sex that does not harness these body polarities becomes a linear experience leading to frustration and unhappiness, because the innate ecstatic potential of the meeting is completely forgone.

Awareness and Sensitivity Exercise
Building Consciousness in the Vagina

While standing equally balanced on two feet, relax and contract the pelvic floor to build awareness in the vaginal cavity. The pelvic floor refers to all the muscles surrounding the vagina and anus. These stretch in one direction between the coccyx to the pubic bone and crosswise between the two sitz bones. They form a web of muscles with the perineum in the center, situated between the anus and the vagina, as the focal point.

Slowly pull up and slowly relax, with your attention at this focal point of the perineum. You can also highlight the vaginal muscles at the front or the anal muscles at the rear. While doing so it is important to also relax the belly muscles, as many women unconsciously tighten the abdominals to give an impression of a flatter belly. A relaxed belly, one that protrudes, is of great advantage in that it maintains the balancing integrity of the arch in the lumbar spine. Allow the stretch in the lumbar area to come through the relaxation of the abdominal muscles and not through simply sticking out the buttocks, which is a form of tension. Search for this balance within yourself, and then consciously contract the muscles of the vagina for about 60 seconds of slow, rhythmic contractions.

Slow means
slow,
and you are likely to feel this as quite an effort.
In time you can increase the number of contractions. When finished, immediately lie down with eyes closed and rest for five to fifteen minutes. While resting you can also get in tune with the magnetic rod running between your vagina and breasts, and relish any spreading of energy and warmth that may follow.

At any time during the day, make it a practice to bring awareness to the area around the vagina (and the belly) and relax it, wherever you are and in whatever you are doing. Tighten, relax, tighten, relax—no one can see, and it feels really good. With your awareness begin to focus inside the vagina to awaken the life already present in
the tissues. You will notice again and again that the vagina is tightened (through unconscious fears and tensions), so simply keep relaxing whenever you remember to. When the channel upward is clear and open, any contractions are likely to result in ecstatic sensations pulsating upward to the top of the spine.

Partner Exchange Exercise
Deep Penetration and Healing the Vagina (and Penis)

You and your lover should develop deep penetration as a style of lovemaking, with your man focusing deep in the vagina whenever possible. The way to set about this is to ask your man, when he has an erection, to enter your vagina extremely slowly and to go as far in as he is able. Then hold still for a while, as described earlier in this chapter. Before your man penetrates you, open your labia (the vaginal lips) and hold your vagina open while he penetrates. Doing this will make the penetration smoother and more powerful.

In addition, it is an excellent idea to reach between your legs from time to
time during lovemaking and open your outer labia. It really enhances the feeling
of the penetration because of the increased correspondence—it is like a
deepening kiss between penis and vagina. Simply reach your arms between your
legs (your man may have to pull his body away a tiny bit, but without losing penetration), lay each hand alongside the vulval
area, and with the fingers pull the labia apart, clearing the way as it were, pulling open the folds of tissue at the entrance of the vagina (inner labia) as well as extricating any pubic hairs that may have strayed there. You can keep your hands in this opening position for a while before withdrawing them from your pelvic area. When you have withdrawn your hands, your man can deepen his penetration by a few centimeters (which is worth more than it may sound). This procedure may seem like a bit of a disturbance, as your man has to back off for
a few moments, but the increased sensations of pleasure in depth are clearly worthwhile.

With extremely slow penetration any painful places are likely to become apparent as the penis moves, or even lies still, in the vagina. Remember, pain anywhere is usually an indicator of some inner holding, and pain can be present at any point of the vagina, even right at the entrance. We must seek out these painful points with intention, with the penis, and bring the area into correspondence with the magnetic penis head. As mentioned already, the penis will still have an impact even if penetration is not to the full depth of the vagina.

Ask your partner to hold still when the head of his penis is touching any place that feels painful. Travel internally with your awareness to the area and feel into it from the inside. It is essential for the penis to have “porous” contact with your vagina, which means the head must not push with force into any tender area. Rather, once you have identified the discomfort—the point where you tell your partner to hold still—he should draw his penis back about a millimeter or two, a hairbreadth. This minuscule amount of space allows for an interchange of energies; otherwise the pressure of the penis will further compact tensions instead of loosening them.

You can contact your partner’s eyes with soft vision or you can close your eyes, whatever feels appropriate at any given moment. As you rest in yourself, just see what you feel and allow whatever wants to happen, be it feelings of sadness that come up, any shivering or shaking—a gale of laughter may even suddenly erupt out of you. The deep penetration may only last a few minutes; sometimes the penis will relax down after it has done this work, and if you both remain relaxed and easy and allow it to lie in the vagina, resting, it might surprise you by rising up again into erection.

Possible Positions for Deep Penetration

A variety of positions are suitable for deep penetration. You can try them all. Each position allows the penis to engage with the vagina from a variety of different angles, giving the opportunity to explore every corner of the vagina. It is most useful for a woman to place a folded pillow or a small square cushion under her pelvis (as shown in figures 6.1 and 6.2) so as to raise the pelvis and increase the depth and angle of penetration.

Fig. 6.1. Middle position, man kneeling (with pillow to raise
woman’s pelvis)

Fig. 6.2. Middle position, man on hands and knees (with pillow to raise woman’s pelvis)

Fig. 6.3. Middle position, man lying forward, half kneeling
(with pillow to raise woman’s pelvis)