The Douchebag Bible (23 page)

your backs bloody and sustain themselves on your blood like the

vampiric assholes they are.

And if you complain about your lot in life and demand your

fair share of the pie, they start whining about their rights. They

talk about the fruits of
their
labor, while you’re the one working

in the factory and they’re the ones shuffling papers in an air-

conditioned office making huge salaries. They call you a socialist,

as if the word itself were an instant argument winner because

they’ve imagined and sold you a consensus that says “socialism is

bad” and socialism means whatever they want it to mean. They

know that you don’t know what it means and use your ignorance

to control you.

“Honor” Thyself

Without reinforcers of any kind, our idiosyncrasies compound to

the point that we are no longer able to function in normal society.

We are social animals who need the approval of our fellow beings

to maintain a coherent sense of self.

Conversely, if we play by the rules and allow ourselves to

be influenced by others, we find ourselves to victims of the

nightmares of the pecking order.

In 1921 a Norwegian zoologist named Thorleif

Schjelderup-Ebbe (don’t worry, I can’t pronounce it either)

discovered a strange behavior exhibited by chickens during their

feeding time. The weaker birds would refuse to eat until the

stronger birds had their fill. He called this occurrence the pecking

order and it occurs in all animals in one form or another—the

perceived weak willfully succumb to the perceived strong.

In nature, the behavior that lends itself most to social

advancement is aggressiveness. The willingness to relentlessly

attack all those who oppose you makes you dangerous and will,

even in our supposedly enlightened species, bring you to power.

Have you ever wondered why loan sharks kill those who cannot

pay them? Surely a living man is always more likely to repay a

loan than a dead one! It’s not a necessity of their business, but it

is a necessity of their perceived dominance within the territories

under their control.

Criminals conduct themselves in this fashion because they

have not yet socially evolved to the point where they’ve

recognized the power of reinforcer-denial as an even more potent

control mechanism than old-school brutality. Many government

(and aspiring governments) in countries that we (in all of our

American arrogance) label “underdeveloped” or “the third world”

still enforce their dictates with the sloppy and outmoded use of

physical violence.

We are not the least bit better than any of these countries

in most respects. Our sole advantage is that we have devised17 a

more cunning thing to take away from people than their lives. We

take away their ability to regulate their self-image through the

social and cultural reinforcement of their personal narratives. We

steal their identities.

The only possible means of countervailing this identity-

theft 18 is to recognize the manipulation as it happens and

consciously defy its influence. This can be achieved in several

ways, but before we can even begin to discuss them, you have to

figure out who what narrative you would truly prefer.

Because your identity is inexorably tied to those around

you, pay attention to who you gravitate towards, who you idolize,

who you admire. Then ask yourself if you really admire what

they’re selling, or if you merely fear not buying it. Never allow

yourself to be motivated by fear. Fear can be levied against you to

make you behave in ways that you otherwise would not. The first

step towards self-realization is the renunciation of fear.

17 I use this word lightly here. It wasn’t truly a conscious decision on our part.

18 I know the term’s already taken, but fuck it.

Ah, but some fear does you a service. The fear of prison

likely keeps you out of prison. The fear of snakes will prevent

snake bites. The fear of losing your life will prevent you from

risking it foolishly.

So embrace those fears if you choose. The type of fear you

must renounce is a far more subtle and devious variety of fear. It

is fear of inadequacy, fear of being judged, fear of the wrath of the

super-reinforcers.

Luckily, this fear can be destroyed by the very solution to

the identity-theft problem. It was simply important that you

acknowledged your fears before attempting these methods.

Lone Wolf.
Is it possible to maintain one’s cohesion even

without reinforcement? With constant strength of will, I believe

that some people can do so. However, a life without any

interaction whatsoever is bound to be savagely lonely. Even the

most virulent misanthrope would likely be heavily taxed by such

an isolated existence Combine that with the sheer exertion of

maintaining your psyche in a vacuum and you’re a train wreck

waiting to happen.

Subversive.
The simple act of awareness is enough to largely

free you from the bondage of societal synchronicity. When you

are aware of the constant manipulation of all those around you,

you’re less likely to be impacted by it. The drawback here is that

you live a life of utter paranoia, always wondering if you really like