The Dream Sharing Sourcebook: A Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Personal Relationships (50 page)

BOOK: The Dream Sharing Sourcebook: A Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Personal Relationships
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there is sometimes a lot of trial and error as you learn to use this remarkable technique. You can also use dream incubation to create psychic dream experiences, which we explore in the next section.
Psychic Dreaming
As you and your partner pay more attention to your dreams and remember them more often, you may very well find things happening in your dreams that surprise you or that you never thought were possible. These kinds of events are referred to as psychic phenomena, or "psi dreams," bringing us information or experiences far outside our conscious understanding or experience. An impressive body of evidence exists documenting the occurrence of psychic events in dreams, yet we still know little about how psi dreams work or what causes them.
One way to think of psychic dreaming is to imagine the human mind as a radio. It may be tuned to a particular station, but other channels are broadcasting as wellwhat we read, what people tell us, what we observe, what we overhear. If a part of our minds is tuning in to these other frequencies, then perhaps that is what makes psi dreams possible, that is, the presence of additional "dream channels" operating in the unconscious. While we sleep, these channels may pick up messages across time and space and bring us information outside our own waking experience.
Precognitive dreams: Whatever the explanation, many people, including those who do not otherwise experience any ESP (extrasensory perception), report various kinds of psychic dreams, and these often involve some important relationship in their life. One commonly reported type of psychic dream is called precognitive, depicting an event that actually occurs later in waking life. To be precognitive, the dream event cannot be
 
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one that was likely to happen anyway. For example, if you dream that your husband brings you flowers on your anniversary, and it is something that he does every year, this would not be considered a precognitive dream. However, if you had this dream, and there is no way you would ever expect it because he never brought you flowers for anything, this might well qualify as precognitive.
These kinds of dreams are always interesting to examine. It is easier to check the connections they have with your waking life if you have written down your dream and can refer back to itanother reason to keep a dream journal! Keep in mind, also, that not every dream that seems to foretell the future is necessarily "true." Take these dreams with a grain of salt and check out the facts in your waking life, especially if they are very disturbing, like dreaming of someone dying or being in danger. Fifteen-year-old Linda had a precognitive dream that she wished had not been true, but she found it fascinating nonetheless.
It's Over
I am at the beach with my boyfriend Rick and my best friend Jenny. I leave to go to the bathroom. I notice that I am gone five hours. I think,
I'd better get back; they're probably wondering where I am
. When I return, Rick tells me he doesn't want to see me anymorethat "it's over." I'm extremely upset.
Linda woke up from the dream saying to herself, "I know this is going to happen," but her friend Jenny convinced her everything was all right. She forgot about it for a while until she and Rick were at the pool five days ("five hours") later. When Linda returned from the bathroom, Rick told her that their relationship was "over." She was devastated, as they had been dating for several months, and she had had no idea any-
 
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thing was wrong. She remembered her dream then and said to Jenny, "I knew it!" They were both taken aback and filled with a new appreciation for the power of dreams.
Mutual dreams: Another psychic dream you might have that involves those close to you is called a mutual dream. This is a kind of telepathic experience that involves direct communication between two or more people. Mutual dreams occur when you and another person have strikingly similar dreams on the same night. These kinds of dreams can be deliberately incubated or designed to occur, as is often done in dream laboratories or workshops. You can try the same thing with your family or friends at home, on a camping trip, or anywhere a group of people sleep in close proximity.
It works this way: One person is the "sender" and focuses on a particular issue or simple picture that is called "the target." The sender visualizes the target as everyone is going to sleep and perhaps again during the night. Before retiring, the "receivers" give themselves a suggestion to "tune in'' to the target and to remember a psychic dream that night. The next morning everyone shares her or his dreams and hears about what the target was. To make it more of an experiment, you can put out six pictures for the dreamers to look at, and see if they can guess which one was the target. You might find that they choose the correct picture more often the more you practice this procedure.
Even without setting up any expectations for mutual dreams, these kinds of experiences can occur spontaneously with someone close to you. Mutual dreams are more common, or at least are more often detected, between people who share an emotional or physical bond, such as couples, parents, or children. Exploring these kinds of dreams together can make an important contribution toward better understanding and more
 
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intimacy with your loved ones. That is what Casey and her nine-year-old daughter, Lauren, discovered as they each shared their dreams about their family cat, which had recently died.
Our Cat and the Light (Casey's dream)
Our cat is sitting in the bright sunlight on an open staircase in front of a window. Her fur is longer than usual, and she is much largeras big as a small dog. In fact, she seems to be a dog, though she is clearly our cat. She is smiling and looks strong and happy. There is a sound at the door, and she turns toward it. Then she says something like "Everything is okay" or "It will be all right." She doesn't actually speak, but it is clear that she is "saying'' an encouraging thing. Then she slowly walks down the stairway toward the door as if she is going out or greeting someone coming in.
Our Cat and the Light (Lauren's dream)
There is a cat that is a dog, but it looks like our family cat. She has unusually long fur and is sitting in bright light. Maybe she is in heaven. Our whole family is there, and everyone is relaxed. The cat speaks to us, but her exact words are unclear. She seems to be smiling or laughing. I go over to pick her up, but she walks away slowly and with no sense of rejection. The cat seems to hear someone calling her. This is a happy dream.
Casey and Lauren had these mutual dreams almost exactly six months from the time of their cat's death. The family had had a funeral for their beloved cat in the yard and planted a tree in her memory. Casey describes their dream sharing with fond memories: "Lauren came into our room in the morning and began to tell me about her dream. At the same time, I was thinking about my dream and began to share it with her. We were practically speaking at the same time, interrupting each other

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