The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy (13 page)

Confidence

Every day, tens of thousands of women (and men) get up on stage (or in front of the camera) and take off their clothes. And most of them look damn sexy doing it, too, peeling off their panties with style, stroking their bodies proudly and with grace. But behind every sure step, every inviting gyration, is the person who at one point had to get up the guts to do it. Unlike Hollywood stars, these folks usually don't look “perfect,” but they do look like screamingly desirable sex kittens and tomcats. Now, you're not exactly getting ready to perform for a roomful of strangers (though if you are, yay!). You are probably interested in putting on an erotic show for someone who matters very much—or at least whom you want to wow enough to get into their pants. So, you have to wonder, how the heck did all those strippers get themselves up onto that stage? What can you learn from the pros that will help you perform your own wickedly sexy seduction?

First of all, professional strippers have learned to accept what they've got. Because we only see a narrow range of beauty in our media, we forget that everyone has the same complaints about themselves. Most people don't look like packaged porn stars or Hollywood stars in real life. Come to think of it, most of those porn stars and Hollywood types look a bit odd in real life. Erotic
performers have learned to let go of their inner critics, for at least a few songs anyway, and let their sexy moves and their careful attention to appearance speak for them. Time and time again, it works, simply because confidence and sexiness are riveting.

Think about what bothers you. Chances are high your concerns boil down to a few very common anxieties:

I'm worried that I'll look ridiculous.

Plan your scene, learn your moves, try on your outfits, and test any makeup ahead of time. If you've done your planning, the only thing your audience will see is a sexy someone making their fantasies come true. They'll also be excited that you went to so much effort just for them—not many people do. The only thing that might show is your nervousness, but that will disappear after the first few minutes.

What if I screw it up?

Make your routine or seduction “idiot proof” by going over it step by step, repeatedly, and don't leave anything to the last minute. Take every precaution to remove distractions, from turning off your phone to securing pets that might suddenly appear underfoot. If you're klutzy, be prepared to laugh, smile wickedly at your prey, and distract them by cranking the heat of your moves up a notch. A sense of humor combined with erotic purpose and determination will make them forget all about the spilled drink—especially if you lick it off their hands, face, or neck. Plus, ripped stockings are quite sexy.

My body isn't what I want it to be.

Join the biggest club in the world. Everyone feels this way on one level or another, even the “perfect” people. If you don't like it, make a plan to change it. If you can't change it, work it. Make the most of what you've got. Chances are high that you're a lot sexier than you think, because sexiness comes from inside, not the outside. If you're worried about “stacking up” to others with the size of your breasts or the size of your basket, or other measurement concerns, remember that bigger boobs (or a bigger bulge) won't make you sexier—they'll just make you someone with big boobs (or a big basket). And yes, people can be insensitive critics and say inappropriate things—but if you find yourself performing for someone like this, never perform for that person again.

Preparations

You'll need to decide on the basic elements that create atmosphere, character, and an aura of sexiness. First, choose your persona, the personality that you want to project in your performance. Then decide on your outfit, music, lighting, the time and date, and a fitting location for it all to take place. Watch how-to videos on erotic dancing, or even TV movie depictions of erotic performers to get ideas for moves and routines.

Begin planning at least a week in advance. Give yourself plenty of time to create a routine, learn your moves, shop for clothing and props, and take care of any miscellaneous details. Don't wait until the last minute to arrange childcare or send your roommates to the movies; you'll want your house empty, with no chance of unwanted interruptions, so take care of this well ahead
of time. Also make a checklist for turning off your phone, and closing windows, curtains, or doors for maximum privacy. Give your lover a little advance warning. You want to surprise your sweetie in a good way, not catch them off guard at the wrong time. Make a date with them for a romantic evening—you don't have to let on what's going to happen, just that they're in for a sexy surprise.

Pick a persona—and dress the part. Of course, you could always be yourself, but donning a character can give you lots of room to play with your props, costuming, makeup, music, and your routine. Just as a French maid or police officer can arouse and excite, your sex-kitten self can set the night on fire with a sensual outfit and slinky lingerie. Just ensure that whatever you wear makes you feel sexy, and give consideration to how you'll be slipping out of it. Skirts are usually easier than pants, and smoothly pulling a shirt or dress off over your head may require some practice. (Though male strippers do manage to show off their chests while removing neckties, business shirts, and even three-piece suits.) If you want to wear pasties—little sequined or tasseled patches on the nipples—buy them along with professional pastie glue at strippers' outlets; don't try to make them at home.

Atmosphere and setting provide the finishing touches. Decide where you want to slither and shake. Bedrooms are nice, but also consider the kitchen, dining room, garage, and bathroom—or farther afield, like a hotel room. If you are playing a persona, pick a location that suits your role—for example, a mechanic in the garage, a cowgirl in the barn, or a waitress in the dining room. Lighting should be low but not dark, and you can add effect with focused halogens or colored
bulbs. Test the look of your room at the same time of day or night as your planned performance. Choose your music, then make a playlist, or burn a CD of MP3s, adding slower songs at the end of your routine to prolong the romantic atmosphere. Make sure there is a comfortable chair for your lucky audience member, and enough room for you to wiggle, gyrate, and strip for the “front row.”

How to Strip

Let the games begin! Learn a few steps and dance moves, create a routine, and then practice, practice, practice. I recommend choosing two or three songs to plan a routine around, songs that make you feel sexy, with a rhythm that you can slither, shimmy, shake, and grind along with. After all, you'll be dancing to the music—just any old song will not do.

Remember throughout your routine to hold your head high, keep your chest out, your shoulders back, and your back arched. This is how strippers and models emphasize their best features. This, and a lot of attitude.

Visualize an image or scenario that makes you feel like the queen or king of the world. Everyone who's performed erotically has a visualization that gets them in the right frame of mind. One dancer I interviewed, from the legendary Mitchell Brothers' O'Farrell Theater in San Francisco, told me, “I just imagine the money going into my g-string, and it just keeps getting filled. Then I'm taking the money into the bank, and I'm so rich they take me into the vault, which is full of my money. Sometimes I'm on the red carpet at a Hollywood premiere, with hundreds of fans and photos being taken. Other times I'm accepting an Academy Award.” Think of your most
glamorous fantasy, where you're irresistibly beautiful, and make it as detailed and vivid as possible. Then pretend you're there, and start your routine.

You have to learn to walk before you can fly, and erotic dancing is no exception: Your first move is to learn how to strut. Your walk will be the foundation for every move you make. Begin by placing your feet as if you were following an imaginary straight line. Exaggerate your hips by giving each step a sideways swing before landing on your line. Practice walking with your hands on your hips, on top of your head, at the back of your neck, and beneath your breasts. While walking, you can play with your breasts, run your hands seductively all over your butt, hips, and torso, muss up your hair, or do anything else that shows you off to best effect and tells your audience where to look. To turn right, start with your right foot forward, draw a half-circle to the right, and pivot heel-to-toe. Try it, and you'll see what I mean.

When you're not strutting, you'll have an arsenal of moves for stopping, pivoting, changing direction, and taking off your clothes. For women, your hips are your sexiest weapons. For men, it's the pelvis which can roll and grind. Practice rolling your hips, or grinding your pelvis, in circles at slow, medium, and fast speeds, then simultaneously with your hands in motion, touching your body seductively or slowly peeling off clothing. Grind your hips forward and back at different speeds as well, and remember to display your hip moves from all angles: front, sides, and back. Move your hips or pelvis in figure eights for the full effect; this move looks especially good from behind, when you're bent slightly at the waist with an arched back. In general, it's easiest to do your hip moves with your feet staggered. Rely on your hip moves if you lose your place in your routine.

Intermittently caress your entire body from head to toe throughout your routine. Practice long, languorous strokes with your hands while standing with your back to your audience, in a kneeling position (stroking from knees to your hair), and on the floor (on your back, giving a sideways view). You should especially concentrate on touching and feeling your breasts (or chest), which may feel a little strange at first but is essential to your seduction. Play with your breasts, knead and rub them (guys, go for your pecs and abs), close your eyes and show your lover just how good it feels. Imagine that your breasts are being touched for the first time. Get into it!

Your moves should be serpentine and erotic. Slow down your movements, more than you think you should, and pepper your routine with touching, bending, and removing articles of clothing. Make as much eye contact as possible, except when you get carried away in the rapture of touching yourself. Only turn your back to your partner if you want to show your hip moves or open your shirt. Remember, it's all about teasing, making your partner long to see your naked body. Remove your shirt first, then your skirt, bra, and panties (assuming this is your costume), in that order.

Take your time removing each article of clothing. Consider leaving your shoes, hat, or garters on. Tease your audience by offering small glimpses of what's to come. Try unbuttoning a shirt with a hip or pelvic move for each button, pause to stroke your breasts or chest, unbutton all the way, and then let the shirt slowly slide from your arms to the floor, all the while moving your hips or grinding your pelvis. Always gently brush clothing out of the way with your feet.

Pants are tough to remove gracefully. Play with the zipper or buttons. Turn your back and play peek-a-boo
with your butt. Bend over and look at your audience upside down through your legs. Get down on the floor, roll onto your stomach, and slither out of your pants as you get up.

Once you have practiced taking off your clothes and learned a few dance steps, make a plan for your routine. Here are some moves you can incorporate into your own routine:

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Arrange your scene so that you can come in from a side entrance. Strut to center “stage,” pivot, and face your prey.

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Rotate your hips, moving your hands over your body. Stop, roll your hips in a figure eight, and massage your breasts (or work your pecs).

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Pivot until you're facing away from your subject and slide your hands from breasts to toes, smiling from between your legs.

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Strut, turn, hold position, and move hips or pelvis.

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As you begin to unbutton your top, slowly rotate your hips or grind your pelvis. Open the buttons in synch with your hips. With your shirt open, walk toward your lover with hands on hips and then resume fondling your breasts (or chest). Slowly writhe out of your shirt.

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Remember that your hands become your lover's eyes and wishes. Touch yourself everywhere you think they're aching to touch you.

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Toy with your lover by getting closer and closer during your routine. On your first approach, touch your prey. Stand right between their legs, gently uncrossing and opening them if necessary. You decide when it's okay for your partner to touch you—often, it's more fun to make them wait, and you can gently
return their roving hands to their knees so they know who's in charge.

Lap Dance 101

When a striptease becomes a lap dance, you're dancing, removing clothing, and rubbing your body all over your lover. A lap dance is a glorified, sexified dry hump put to music—but when it is between lovers it is far hotter and more intimate than any description.

Here are some good moves to try:

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Use your full body to stroke your partner, moving from their knees slowly up their thighs, hips, waist, and chest, stopping at the shoulders.

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Mess up their hair.