The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy (15 page)

The signs of impending orgasm will vary from person to person. For some, it will be obvious—they'll tell you! For others, you'll have to look for physiological signs. Increased breathing, perspiration, a rosy flush that spreads over the face, throat, and chest, and erect nipples (though not always) are good signs to look for. In most men, the cock will grow hard and the testicles will draw close to the body, though some men may not get hard at all, so you'll have to ask if you're not sure. Women will show fullness and firmness in their clit and outer labia, and some will get clit erections. Wetness isn't always a sure sign of arousal, so don't rely on it as a sign of impending orgasm.

When your lover starts to orgasm, keep doing whatever you are doing—don't stop until the orgasm subsides. If you're with a man who ejaculates (some men don't), decide where you want his come to go—in your hand, on his stomach, in your mouth, or elsewhere. The tip of his penis might become suddenly very sensitive right after orgasm, so don't continue
stroking after he comes unless you know he likes it. The same goes for women: If she ejaculates, decide where you want to be when it happens. Stop stroking after she comes, because clits and G-spots can grow incredibly sensitive (in an almost painful way) right after orgasm—unless she instructs you to keep going. Conclude your massage with some sexy cleanup—a fresh towel is always nice, or you can slip away to the bathroom and prepare a warm washcloth. Finish by wrapping your partner in a blanket, snuggling up, and dining on pre-prepared snacks and revitalizing beverages.

CHAPTER
7

Strip Clubs, Phone Sex, and Call Girls—for Two

Seeing a professional sex worker is often the easiest way for couples to add a third partner to their sex play, no strings attached. Phone sex, a visit to a strip club, or an hour at a peep show can be a safe way to test the waters before actually engaging in sex with a stranger. You can learn a lot from the pros in addition to learning more about yourselves, your likes and dislikes, and uncovering further fantasies for you both to share.

Perhaps you want to watch your sweetie get a lap dance from a beautiful stripper, or you want to watch your lover watching
you
get one. Strip joints and “gentle-men's clubs” can fill that fantasy. Call girls and prostitutes offer the possibility of a sexual encounter with a stranger whom you will never see again, making them perfect for trying a no-strings threesome, experimenting with
girl–girl sex, or watching each other have sex with a stranger.

What's great about playing with pros is the anonymity, confidentiality, and convenience, not to mention the added plus of “ordering up” the specific sex acts you both want. It's like ordering a sumptuous meal and having it arrive hot and just the way you like it. You decide together what you want, and you ask for it—it's that simple. Sex workers have seen it all and will make no judgments about your interests. They are adept at knowing how to give you what you want, and will make it clear when it's not something they do. They are people who provide intimate services: They are in the business of making sexual fantasies come true.

Strip Clubs and Lap Dances

Couples venturing into strip clubs are much more prevalent than most people think. While the media depict topless bars, peep shows, and strip joints as populated by male patrons, with women in an entertainment capacity only, in reality that scenario has become dated as more and more women and couples join the audience. Groups of women, single women, and heterosexual couples provide an ever-growing customer base for erotic dancers, and they will often get as much attention from the performers as the guys at the next table. Many dancers are excited to perform for couples. If you and your partner bring paper bills and smiles, you'll both have a blast.

Before you both go rushing off to the Titty Twister Bar and Grill, give your adventure a little forethought. What are you hoping to get out of going to a strip club—your curiosity satisfied, a thrill, or something more?
Decide which partner will be the focus of attention for lap dances and who will do the tipping, because the one with the money will typically be the object of the flirting and erotic displays. Perhaps you both want a lap dance (from the same girl or from two at one time). How will you feel seeing your lover getting a lap dance from another woman? Patrons in American clubs are usually not allowed to touch the dancers, except to place money in their outfits—if that. Even with those restrictions, seeing your lover get a lap dance still might push your buttons. Don't let jealousy take you by surprise; be honest with yourself about what you are okay with seeing. If you're not sure, make an agreement to stop or go somewhere else if either of you begins to feel bad.

Exotic-dance establishments (another name for strip clubs) feature women in various states of undress dancing on stages. They often provide other varieties of erotic entertainment as well. Depending on the club and local laws, there may be lap dancing, where you are seated in a chair and the dancer rubs and grinds her body all over you. You pay by the song. (More about payment below.) Lap dancing can take place in the middle of the club, along special chairs against a back wall, or privately, in curtained-off rooms.

Some places may have private peep booths where dancers perform erotic acts like masturbation for you from behind glass. You pay by the minute as well as a separate charge per act. Some businesses have only peep booths; some have rooms where private booths face a small glass-enclosed stage on which one or more women will perform for you. (More on peep shows in the next section.) Other clubs have strippers onstage and table shows in separate rooms, or “private VIP rooms,” where women perform with sex toys literally
on your table, solo or in twos, and you can request the sex acts you desire. Quite a few higher-end clubs have given thought to the many ways they can get you to spend your money on the entertainment, and you'll likely come across more activities than those I've listed here.

Strip clubs are public establishments, usually bars, where the atmosphere is sexually supercharged but no sex happens on the premises. There are seedy clubs where anything goes, but you should be aware that these come with many risks. Depending on the state and county laws regarding nudity and alcohol, and how lax the individual strip club is willing to be, what you find in the clubs will vary. Some jurisdictions don't allow nudity in establishments that serve alcohol, and some allow partial nudity with alcohol. Others might condone booze, boobs, and even no panties, but the dancers must cover their nipples or they're considered indecent. It's perplexing. The bottom line is that you might have to forgo alcohol to see completely nude dancers or enjoy
your drinks while topless-only hotties give you lap dances. In most of the U.S., lap dancers are clothed (creating interesting definitions of “clothed”), while some clubs in Canada offer naked lap dances. Usually, the best way to find out is to ask people who've frequented or worked in the clubs, or to visit them yourself.

How Will They Treat Me at the Strip Club?

Although I interviewed many strippers and club patrons, and spoke to boy- and girlfriends of exotic dancers, nothing prepared me for the mixed reactions I got when I ventured into strip clubs as part of my “research.” I found myself—young, female, sexily dressed, looking much like the dancers onstage—ignored by male patrons, who barely glanced at me while they fixated on the naked women. The dancers' reactions were all over the map, from avoiding eye contact, and physically avoiding me, to excitedly jumping in my lap, giving me more of a show (and more physical license) than they gave the men in the club. My boyfriend and I felt like the hottest couple alive. How will they treat you? Any, or all, of the above.

Decide first which criteria are most important, based on your ideal fantasy and comfort limits: alcohol or no alcohol, full or partial nudity, lap dances, extras like peep booths—and then begin your search. Look in the back section of your local weekly paper or your nearest metropolitan weekly, or if you want anonymity, a publication from a city where you know no one at all. Make a list of your prospective clubs, and if you feel like doing research ahead of time, give them a call during daytime business hours. If a live person answers, ask if they have couples' specials. For first-timers, I recommend starting your strip club adventure with a higher-end club (which may bill itself as a “gentleman's club”). Most of these places are clamoring for heterosexual couples; they often let partnered women in free or give couples a two-for-one rate.

Expect to spend some money. Cover charges (just to get in the door) average around $10, but can climb as high as $40 on weekend nights—gentlemen's clubs can start at $40 on weeknights and go up from there. Don't try to barter with anyone, from doormen to dancers. Of course, you don't have to go to a fancy club on your first outing. You may enjoy adventure, want to hit several clubs, or have a recommendation from a friend. Either way, bring $50 to $200 in varying denominations (especially ones, fives, tens, and twenties) for your fun and games, and remember you don't have to spend it all to have a good time. You might just want to watch—and have rabid sex when you get home.

If you sit near the stage, the dancers will expect to be tipped, so have singles, fives, and tens ready—more if you're in an upscale club. If you don't plan to tip, give your seat up to the paying customers, and don't sit in any designated lap-dance seating unless you want a dance. When the women are done with their routines, they may circulate among the tables and ask if you want a lap dance. Always be polite, and if you see a girl you'd like to give you a lap dance, ask her.

In a very fancy club, you might spend hundreds of dollars, especially if you want to “try every ride at the carnival.” Lap dances can range from $10 to $50 per song, and increase in price if performed in a private VIP area—which is sometimes just a curtained-off space with a chair. Find out ahead of time how much a lap dance costs, and whether a dancer charges double to lap-dance you both. If you decide to try a private show, agree on the price before you enter the room, and find out if you are required to purchase drinks. Using the private lap-dance areas comes with a minimum charge, such as $100 for three songs. Some clubs require or “suggest” that you purchase a bottle of champagne to drink in the booth, a suggestion that will cost you a ridiculous sum, from $20 to $200 a bottle. Sometimes the dancers ask you to buy them drinks, which is a scam many clubs employ to get you to buy overpriced drinks while the dancer just sits and sips non-alcoholic cocktails. Don't blow your money on overpriced booze—pay her to dance for you instead.

You may or may not have a fabulous time in strip clubs. The two of you could get turned on, spend some cash, get rubbed by naked girls (or boys), and barely make it out of the parking lot before you're dying to have sex. On the other hand, you might not like any of
the women you see, find the atmosphere unnerving, or dislike the music, the bizarrely athletic pole dances, or the fake boobs, hair, and nails. Much like porn, your first strip-club experience might disappoint you, but remember that hundreds of alternative experiences—other clubs, dancers, atmospheres—await you.

Peep Booths

When you visit a peep booth, it's like having an exotic dancer give you an explicit masturbation show, to your specifications, but without a club atmosphere or any other distractions. Peep or “live girl” shows are just the ticket for couples who seek a focused, private interaction. Some strip clubs have peep booths, and you'll find “adult bookstores” that sell and rent porn and sex toys and offer peep booths in addition to private “arcade” booths where adult movies are shown. There are also establishments that feature only peep booths and “live girl” shows—while you may wonder what a “non-live girl” show might be, this designation means simply that it's a porn arcade.

Once in the peep booth, it's just the two of you—and a sexy woman behind the glass who wants to put on a show and help you get off. On your side of the glass there will be a stool or bench, a viewing window, and a slot for tips. To activate the show, you put money or tokens in the meter, and the glass will defog or the covering will slide up, revealing the sex worker for a specified period of time. The tip slot is where you'll pay the worker for the sex acts you'd like her to perform, and this is a separate transaction. Decide if she's your type immediately—often you'll see a picture of her before you go in, but have a code word or signal for each other
that says, “not this one.” Perhaps you might ask your partner if they “remembered to bring cash,” and if the answer is no, then it's off to the next booth. You could also say, “Honey, I forgot my cash” as a way of signaling that you'd like to move on. Then excuse yourself politely.

When you come to the peep shows, be sure to bring as much as $100 in fives, tens, and a few twenties for a good show, and also bring any sex toys, lube, or safer-sex items you might want to play with. Of course, you don't need to plan on having sex in the booth, and you may not even like the experience or get turned on, but it's nice to have these items ready. It is a very good idea to bring a newspaper to sit or kneel on, in case the booth's previous occupants were erotic slobs. Insert your money, the girl will appear, and once you make eye contact, she will guide you through the activities you may request that she do for you; she might also suggest that you tip her.

Arcades Don't Have Video Games

Contrary to their names, adult bookstores don't really sell any books. Most sell adult novelties such as vibrators and wind-up hopping penises, sell and rent adult videos and DVDs—but make their daily bread and butter from their arcades. An arcade is a row (or multiple rows) of private movie booths with locking doors, where patrons can view porn, paid by the minute using tokens or cash. Also known as “jack shacks,” this is where guys go to masturbate or give blow jobs to other guys, where prostitutes bring clients, and where adventurous couples come for quickies. While not an atmosphere for refined trysting, these seedy little booths often have what it takes to give a fantasy that gritty edge, and they make a great spot for an exceptionally nasty lunch-hour rendezvous.