The Year of Living Shamelessly (15 page)

Read The Year of Living Shamelessly Online

Authors: Susanna Carr

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary

BOOK: The Year of Living Shamelessly
10.61Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
 
She greedily accepted his kiss, but Ryder wasn’t prepared to devour her. He kissed her slowly, savoring the touch, the moment. He tasted every inch of her lips before delving his tongue into her eager mouth.
 
Katie grabbed at Ryder’s shirt and felt the heavy thud of his heart. She tried to draw him closer, but he didn’t move. She wiggled against him in a silent plea.
Faster. Deeper. More.
 
Ryder’s kisses were unhurried and deliberate, his lips lingering on hers. Her mouth clung to his. He was driving her crazy. Were his kisses designed to make her beg? If she was this hot and bothered over a kiss, what could she expect once they were in bed? She shivered as excitement swirled deep in her stomach.
 
Ryder suddenly took a step back and Katie clutched at his shirt. He gently lowered her hands and firmly let go. As he put his hand in his back pocket, Katie noticed that he wasn’t so immune to the kisses he controlled. His breathing was harsh and heavy, and his hard cock pressed against his jeans.
 
She was smiling proudly when Ryder pulled out a piece of black cloth. “What’s that?” she asked.
 
He held it out for her to inspect. “A blindfold.”
 
“Blindfold!” Katie took a step back, bumping into the tree. She spread her arms out to keep her balance and the ornaments jangled as the branches swayed. “That wasn’t part of the plan.”
 
“What’s the matter?” Ryder asked innocently. A little too innocently in Katie’s opinion.
 
“I agreed to being tied up. I never said anything about being”—she gestured at the black strip of cloth—“blindfolded.”
 
“You’re not ready for bondage,” Ryder decided. “The blindfold is a good introduction. You’ll still follow my lead, but you’ll have the freedom to move if it gets too intense.”
 
Ha. Freedom. Nice choice of words. “I don’t think so.” She could handle being tied up. She had geared herself up for that. And more important, the chances were that if she was tied up or down, she could still see what was coming at her.
 
“Okay. That’s fine. It’s your choice,” Ryder said, as if her decision didn’t surprise him.
 
So much for being the sophisticated lover. Katie belatedly realized the fir tree was poking into her butt and she hastily stepped away, searching her mind for a way to erase her unworldly reaction from Ryder’s mind.
 
“Obviously, the stupid bondage club is not for you.” He tucked the dark strip of fabric in his front jeans pocket. “I’m glad you found out before you walked in there.”
 
What? Katie’s jaw dropped at his statement. That was it? He was calling it quits because she said no to the first thing he threw at her. “This isn’t fair. You knew how I was going to react about the blindfold.”
 
Ryder shrugged. “The problem is,
you
didn’t know.”
 
Katie didn’t like the sound of that. She folded her arms across her chest as her eyes narrowed with growing resentment. “So all of this was to protect me from myself?” Disappointment welled in her chest. Maybe he didn’t want her.
 
Ryder rubbed his hand against the back of his neck as he wrestled for the right words. “No,” he answered reluctantly. “Not all of it.”
 
That was all she needed to hear. She held out her hand. “Give me the blindfold.”
 
That surprised Ryder. “No, it’s not necessary.”
 
Maybe not for him, but she wanted to prove something to herself. That she didn’t have to be in charge of her environment every moment. That she didn’t have to be in total control to live out her fantasy. And she could be safe and wild if Ryder was part of the fantasy. She could surrender to him and know he would take care of her.
 
She could have her fantasy if she stopped trying to push things and allowed this affair to unfold on its own course. The time limit, the urgency, was making her focus on what she was about to lose. If she wasn’t careful, she wouldn’t enjoy what she had until it was over.
 
Katie quickly tugged the blindfold from his pocket, but Ryder grabbed the other end. He wouldn’t let go.
 
“Come on, Ryder, let me have it.” She refused to get in a tug-of-war. That would cement the unsophisticated image. “I want to know how it feels.”
 
“No, you don’t. You were against it a minute ago.”
 
She could understand his disbelief, and knew she had to explain as honestly as she could. “And then I reminded myself that nothing could go wrong. I’m safe with you.”
 
His mouth pressed into a firm, unyielding line. She could tell he was fighting the attraction that sizzled between them. Ryder slowly let go and gave a sigh of surrender. “You’re the one who doesn’t play fair.”
 
“Ryder, when are you going to realize that I’m not playing?” She held the black fabric against her eyes. Wow, it really blocked out everything. She had hoped for some light to filter through. But there was something very erotic knowing that she couldn’t see Ryder, but he could see everything about her. She trembled as dark excitement swirled around her.
 
She wasn’t going to back down now. She meant what she had said: Ryder would guide her through this rite of passage. He would satisfy her and keep her safe. Katie tried to knot it at the back of her head. Her fingers fumbled along the blindfold, betraying the nervousness that she hid in her voice.
 
“Here, let me.” She felt Ryder’s hands on her shoulders before he turned her around and grabbed the ends of the blindfold. She knew the Christmas tree was now in front of her, but she couldn’t see the twinkling lights or the gleam of the metallic ornaments.
 
“Not too tightly,” she said, her voice higher than she liked.
 
“It has to be tight or you’ll see,” Ryder said as he pulled the blindfold snugly. “We wouldn’t want that, now would we?”
 
“I don’t want you mad while I’m blindfolded, either,” she muttered. Was he pissed because she’d called his bluff?
 
Ryder paused and pressed his mouth to the top of her head. “I’m not mad,” he said, her hair muffling his voice. “Just not sure what I’m doing.”
 
“What are you talking about?” She straightened up, her hands flattening against the blindfold, ready to whip it off. “I thought you did this all the time.”
 
“Not with you,” he said as he placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her around.
 
Katie frowned and lowered her hands, slightly disoriented. “I’m not delicate or fragile.”
 
“You are to me.” His words were barely audible as he kissed a trail from her cheek, along her jaw and finally to her lips.
 
Once again, his kisses were controlled and fleeting. Only this time, trapped under the blindfold, Katie felt his touch differently. It was almost as if he didn’t trust himself. As if deepening his kiss would trigger something uncontrollable inside him.
 
Katie wasn’t sure if the blindfold offered a skewed reality. All sensations were heightened, but with a strange dreamlike quality. The evergreen scent was stronger, the crackle of the fire louder. That didn’t mean that Ryder’s touches held more meaning.
 
Ryder slid his mouth to her throat as his hands skimmed her shoulders. He glided his fingers along the deep V of her neckline. Katie held her breath in anticipation as his fingertips brushed along the tops of her breasts. She couldn’t wait for him to pull her dress down and reveal her curves.
 
Her nipples stung as they hardened. She waited for his touch of skin on skin. Ryder slid his hands under her breasts, growling in the back of his throat as he felt their full heaviness before skimming his hands down to her waist.
 
His mouth was following a slow, meandering journey along her collarbone. Did he realize that his lazy touch was her anchor in a darkened world? She didn’t think she could take much more of this. Curling her fingers in his short hair, Katie was about to thrust her breast in his face when she felt Ryder give a decisive, almost savage yank of her sash.
 
Her wraparound dress billowed open. Katie sensed Ryder stepping away. Her dress flapped and it was almost as if she could feel his gaze. Her breasts felt full and heavy as her skin heated. A naughty thrill zipped through her veins before pooling in her hips. It was exciting being almost naked while he was still fully clothed. She was on display for his pleasure and she wanted him to take a good look. She was tempted to pose for him. Arch her spine, adjust her hip or thrust her breasts. But she didn’t move, unsure of his reaction. She really was beginning to hate the blindfold.
 
“It’s like unwrapping a present,” he said softly.
 
She bit her bottom lip as a wave of shyness swept through her. She was thrilled at the pleasure in his voice, but, damn, she wished she could see his face. Was he merely smiling, or did he look like he’d been run over by a truck?
 
Still, he didn’t touch her. Maybe she should thrust her breasts, but she was feeling a little vulnerable. Did he like what she was wearing underneath her dress? Could he see it? It wasn’t what the “old Katie” would have worn, but he didn’t need to know that. Let him think she always wore sheer, frothy lingerie that would make a man blush.
 
She hoped he was blushing. No, she hoped he was on his knees and thanking the stars for his incredible luck.
 
“Ryder?” She tilted her head to one side, listening intently, but the only thing she could hear was the fire.
 
Oh, my God. Had he left? She slowly moved her head as if she could scan the room, but the blindfold revealed nothing. She didn’t hear his breathing, but her heart was pounding loudly in her ears. “Ryder?”
 
He didn’t answer. She brought her hands to the blindfold and hesitated. Should she risk taking a peek?
 
CHAPTER SEVEN
 
 
Katie wavered, her fingertips clenching the blindfold. Did she really need to take it off? If she was completely honest, no, she didn’t. Not now. Deep down she knew that Ryder wouldn’t leave her. He wouldn’t do that. She was curious and vulnerable, but she wasn’t scared.
 
Wouldn’t she have heard Ryder leave? He must still be standing in front of her. She lowered her hands in front of her and her fingers collided with Ryder’s rock-hard chest.
 
“There you are,” Katie said softly with a smile of relief.
 
“I thought you were going to take off your blindfold.”
 
“You didn’t give me permission,” she answered primly, as she pressed her fingers into his chest, enjoying the warmth and strength of him.
 
“But you wanted to,” Ryder said.
 
“Because you didn’t answer,” she defended herself. “Why didn’t you? Were you testing me?”
 
“Yes,” he answered. “I wanted to see if you would take off your blindfold without permission.”
 
“No more tests,” Katie told him.
 
“No more tests,” Ryder agreed as he brushed a knuckle along her cheek. She frowned, almost certain that his hand was trembling.
 
Ryder let his hand drift down her throat until he reached the collar. He gently pushed her dress off her shoulders and it fell from her and landed softly at her feet.
 
Katie clenched her hands at her sides, but she didn’t move. She tried to imagine how she must look. She hoped her appearance was sexy instead of out of place, standing in front of the Christmas tree wearing nothing but a pair of black heels, a teeny pair of panties, a demi-cup bra and a blindfold.
 
“You are so beautiful,” Ryder said in a hushed breath.

Other books

Birth of Our Power by Greeman, Richard, Serge, Victor
Wet Ride (Toys-4-Us) by Cayto, Samantha
Love Trumps Game by D.Y. Phillips