Totem (23 page)

              “Yep,” replies Ty. “Home sweet home.”

              I hear the weakness in his voice. I cannot tell if it is from the wound or my icy cold treatment of him. He opens the door and steps out.

              “Thank you so much for the ride.” He says to Michelle.

              Then he turns his attention toward me. Michelle rolls down my window from her side.

              THANKS Michelle, I think angrily.

              He looks in my eyes. I glare at him not knowing what to say. The only thing I feel right now is hurt. He attempts a smile which falters when he sees the reaction it has on me. Quickly I look away. I don’t have to look at him to tell he is hurting in more ways than one. All I know is that I do not want a kiss. Once again as if reading my thoughts, he doesn’t try to kiss my lips. He leans down. I hear him wince at the pain under his jacket.

              “Hey,” he says.

              I look at him. He is kneeling at the edge of the car. Even for his height, this puts him lower than me. His eyes search my face longingly. In those brief moments I feel myself lightening up as I realize that everything that has happened would not matter to me if he loved me. I just needed to know. I feel myself surrender to him making my emotions fragile and my heart open to forgiveness.

              “Tell me what happened.” I whisper. Tears build up inside me.

              He searches my face some more. Sweet desperation crosses his as he looks up at me. He is so beautiful. His eyes are so genuine.

              “I wish I can.” He replies with a soft, rough voice of a man being truly genuine.

              The painful singe of bitter tears threatens to release from my eyes as I look away. Ty lets out a sigh. He leans in and kisses my cheek before rising. I roll the window up bitterly as I watch him walk away. He goes to the key code on the side of the fence and begins punching in numbers. I take in every ounce of him for fear it will be the last time I ever lay eyes on him.

              “What are you doing?”

              Michelle’s question shakes me out of my melodramatic moment and I turn to look at her. She looks me square in the eyes and laughs.

              “Look,” she begins. “You like Ty. He likes you. You are blowing things out of proportion. The best way to really know what is going on is to TALK to each other. Now, I know I had a shitty night and from the looks of it right now, you are having a shittier night. But your ending is not here in this car right now. It’s out there.”

              I look at Michelle. I cannot believe these words are coming from her mouth. It all seems so obvious to her. She tells me how it is but yet in her own love life, she is clueless. She could have stuck longer with Daniel tonight and worked it out with him, but she ran away. Now when I want to run away, she won’t let me.

              “Ok, here is what I am going to do. I am going to kick you out of my car and you are going to go in there and talk to Ty. Ok? And if for some reason you need a ride, you can always call me and I will be right back. Got it?”

              I nod my head. My voice escapes me as my mind tries to wrap around what just went down and what is about to go down. I open the door. My eyes wander towards Ty’s house. There he is, standing at the open gate about to walk through. I step out of the car. The gravel under my shoes crunches and Ty looks back. I cannot read his face. I close the door behind me. As soon as it is shut, Michelle zooms off leaving me with no choice but to go forward.

              “Kimber, what are you doing?”

              Ty’s voice is strained. I cannot tell what emotion is in it. Street lights cast shadows across his face leaving it unreadable. There is no going back. There is no car to retreat into. Michelle made sure of that. I take a step forward mustering up as much confidence as I can.

              “You’re hurt.” I state. “I want to make sure you’re ok.”

              “That is really not necessary.”

              Slightly wounded, I take another step forward knowing his house is my only option. I need to know the truth and get answers. I straighten my posture and make my steps purposeful. In all actuality, Ty is hurt.

              “Ty, I need to know that you are ok. I noticed Sarah’s car is gone. That wound looks pretty bad. What if you need to go to the hospital?”

              “Really, Kimber, I will be fine.”

              I am done talking. I grab Ty’s right hand and pull him inside the gate looking as stern as I can. He drags his feet like an unwilling child. When we get to the door, he retrieves a key from the above frame and unlocks it. Why Ty didn’t have the key in his pocket is beyond me.  I push open the door and bring him in.

              “Where does Sarah keep her nurses kit at home?”

              “Under the kitchen sink,” replies Ty. “I really don’t need that. I will be fine.”

              “Ty, you have blood gushing down the left side of your hip and a huge stain on your jeans. You are not fine. Now take off your jacket.”

              I go quickly into the kitchen and retrieve the big grey medical kit. I place it on the island counter and retrieve gauze and rubbing alcohol. I walk back into the living room. Ty stands up in the middle of the room. His jacket is still on and a confused look is on his face.

              “Why isn’t your jacket off?” I ask as I place the gauze and bottle on the coffee table.

              “Kimber, there is something we need to talk about.”

              “Whatever it is,” I begin grabbing the zipper at the top of his jacket, “we can talk about it after I get you patched up.”

              Ty’s hands immediately grab mine. I look up into his eyes and melt a little. It’s a reaction that will always happen when I look into his eyes no matter how mad I am at him. They search my face pleading.

              “You have to trust me Ty.” I reply.

              “What if that’s not enough?”

              The question took me back. I did not know how it factored in to me cleaning his wound or if we are talking about something else. I look into his eyes coercing him to trust me. With his hands still on mine, I slowly begin to pull down the zipper. I feel each click as the metal separates revealing more of Ty’s skin. I gauge his reaction. He is not stopping me.  I continue without hesitation pulling the zipper down faster and faster as I go noticing that he is not wearing a shirt under his jacket. All I see is his gorgeous tan skin. Finally the zipper is at the end. I undo the last part and slowly pull open his jacket. Ty winces as my cold hands touch his overly heated skin.

              I see the blood pooled on his jeans. I see the trail as it goes up his body to his ribs then it stops. Confused I examine his body closer. The blood stops at a wound, but the wound looks weeks old. This cannot be the same wound causing all this blood. Ty looks at me closely examining my reaction.

              “But you are bleeding.” I state in disbelief. “There is no wound. Is this someone else’s blood?!”

              “No. It’s my blood and it came from that wound.”

              He points at the two week old partially healed skin. I gaze at his body in disbelief. I run my finger across his skin. Pulling my finger away, I exam the crimson liquid that sticks. The blood is still fresh. I look further up his body. There are bruises on his ribs. The bruises are faded.

              “Those are from tonight too.”

              I hear the hesitation in Ty’s voice as he gives me this information. My eyes search his body for other wounds or scars. There are none, just the two. I look closer at the wound and gasp disbelieving what my eyes see. The wound is healing. The bruises are fading with each passing second. What is Ty? I look up at him. Desperation crosses his face. The same desperate look I saw on…

              “The wolf.”

              The words escape my mouth as they instantaneously reach my mind.

              “The wolf… he was thrown up against a fence. It hit his left side…”

              I place my hand on the bruise. Ty winces under my touch. His skin is burning hot. I look up at him quizzically.

              “A few cracked ribs,” he responds. “They will heal by morning. So will the other wound. The metal fence tore my skin open as the vampire threw me over it.”

              “You’re the wolf.” I whisper in disbelief.

              I am frozen in my own thoughts. I am in complete denial. If Ty is a wolf… then everything I believe about the existing world can be called into question. Fairytales and magic cross my mind, but the events that happened tonight weren’t the stuff of dreams. They were the stuff of nightmares. Could the world really be that cruel?

              “Vampires?” I ask. “Real?”

              I cannot find my voice. Thoughts escape in sporadic words.

              “Like I said before, vampires are real.” replies Ty. “That one is really fixated on you.”

              “What? But you’re a wolf…are you a werewolf?”             

              I look into Ty’s eye. For one brief moment, concern gives way to amusement as a small smile flits across his lips. I, on the other hand, am not amused as confusion sets in. I look at Ty’s torso. He has lost so much blood. Immediately, I pick up the gauze, place some rubbing alcohol on it and begin cleaning the blood. I have to look away from his face. The simple act of cleaning off the blood, as useless as it is since the wound has healed, gives me a purpose. Doing something simple grounds me when the room around me begins to spin. I hear Ty let out a chuckle. He does not stop me though.

              “I can change in to a wolf, but I am not a werewolf.”

              “Can you change into other animals?”

              “Yes,” replies Ty. “There are quite a few animals I can change into.”

              The patch of gauze in my hand is covered in Ty’s blood yet only a miniscule part of his torso is clean. My mind is reeling. I need to keep my hands busy. That way I can think as I work. I cannotfocus any other way. I pick up another cloth and splotch it with rubbing alcohol. I press the cold gauze to Ty’s skin and he jumps slightly. His skin is burning up
.

            
 
“Your skin,” I state. “You’re burning up.”

              “My body gets hot when I am healing. They think it has something to do with speeding up the catalytic enzymes in my body. That way processes can go quicker.”

              “They think?”

              “The elders,” states Ty. “They are a group of chiefs. There are fifteen total. One for each animal I change into. They also are the ones I answer to.”

“Answer to them in what way?”

“I answer to them in many ways. They are set to guide me in my decisions. I had to go in front of them and ask to go to college.”

              “How long have you been this way?”

              “For fifty three years.”

              “How old are you really?”

              “I have been on this earth for seventy five years. As long as I accept my destiny, I am stuck at the age I took it. I am twenty two.”

              Whoa! This is a lot to take in.
I think of other people I know that are seventy years old or older. Their skin is wrinkled and their bodies move slowly showing the effect time has had on them. Here stands Ty in contradiction. He is handsome, young, and strong. He has been this way for a while. I push thoughts of his age away for now. My mind shoots back to the first time I met him. I remember thinking he could hear me across the volleyball court. I had to ask.

              “So on the first day we met, could you hear what I was whispering under my breath?”

              An amused look crosses his face once more. He reaches his hand up and rests it upon my heart. I stop cleaning his blood as his slightest touch, even in this moment, sends chills down my spine and warmth in areas too indecent to say out loud.

              “Yes, I could hear you speaking about Evan. I also can hear your heart racing every time I talked to you. I always know when you get excited by your heart beat.”

              My face flushes as I lower my eyes at the thought. He grabs my hand forcing me to stop cleaning his body. I look up into his eyes. Confusion washes over me. This is a lot to take in yet I do not know what I am taking in. Once again my mind asks the question; what is Ty? He searches my face. I know I must look a mess. I feel a mess. The world as I know it has turned on its side and all I believe in is called into question.

              “What are you?” I ask. “The raven…”

              “That is me, too. I watch you to make sure you are safe.”

              Ty closes his eyes as if wounded by my question. His head bows and I am left helplessly waiting for more. I watch his face as resolve fills it, but resolve in what? How could he become all these animals? I feel Ty pulling away from me and setting up mental blocks. His face hardens with etched lines I have never seen before. He drops my hand and walks away from me.