Unbeautifully Loved (Breathe Again) (28 page)

I knew his feelings about Erik and I knew if I told Erik before Lukas and he found out it would not go over well.

Not well at all.

“I... I don’t know,” I said unsure.

“Might help.”

It might but looking at him as I sipped my latte, something bothered me. The same feeling I’d felt since we got here only now it was suddenly becoming heavy inside me, like my gut was trying to tell me something and when I tried to ignore it or push it aside, it was like a thousand pound boulder that wouldn’t move.

Then it hit me.

Of course.

“Erik, you’re dating my best friend,” I said cautiously.

His eyes flashed, disappearing quickly. “Yeah, but we’re friends. Aren’t we?”

“Yeah, it’s just... I know you asked me out and I said no then–”

“Started seeing Lukas,” he interjected.

And I didn’t like the tone of his voice.

My eyes narrowed, “Yeah and–”

“Lex, I like Mollie a lot and I’m just offering you someone to talk to that’s all,” he said defensively.

“I know, I’m sorry Erik, I’m just all over the place today, I didn’t mean to–”

He held his hand up queuing me to stop. “It’s okay, I get it. No hard feelings.”

Why didn’t I exactly believe him.

Before I could get a word out, the sounds of Titanium began playing from inside my purse. I reached inside digging around and pulled out my cell phone. Looking at the screen I saw
‘Lukas Calling’
across the screen.

My head said it was going to be fine but my gut laughed and mocked me, reminding me it was Lukas after all.

“Where are you?” he growled through the line before I could even greet him.

I looked at Erik. “I’m at Bean’s, just about to head back to the house.” I pulled my lip between my teeth nervously.

“Why? I dropped you off at Fisher’s a mere couple hours ago.” He was displeased and slightly angry.

My lip slipped from between my teeth, “I wasn’t feeling well, Erik showed up and offered me a ride, but we stopped for a quick coffee.”

I heard him grumble something under his breath. “Why didn’t you call me?” he asked annoyed.

My head fell back against the chair and I looked at the ceiling. “You said you were swamped today and I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Lex,” his tone was clipped.

“Lukas,” I sighed, “I’m not in the mood, I have a migraine and I just want to lie down. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah, we’ll talk later,” he promised his voice hard and unwavering before the line went dead.

It was more
he’d
talk and I’d be forced to listen– I could hardly wait.

Sighing, I tossed my phone back in my bag. “Can we get out of here?” I grumbled looking across the table at Erik who was watching me.

“Sure,” he said, and then stood grabbing our cups to toss in the trash on the way out. “After you,” he gestured.

Walking towards the front door, passing the counter, I saw Whitney off to the side. From the side I could tell she didn’t look too happy, the smile she had earlier was long gone and her stance looked rigid. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she listened to the person next to her talk.

It was a male, a familiar looking male whose face I wasn’t able to see until he stepped around her, now standing in front of her.

Colt?

What the hell is she doing with
him?

She must have sensed me watching as her head turned in my direction. Instantly her mouth pulled into a bright smile as she cheerfully waved goodbye. Colt followed her gaze and found me, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips as he looked me up and down then turned back to a now (fake) bright and (fake) happy Whitney.

I gave Whitney a quick wave then moved out the door with Erik behind me, guiding me with his hand on the small of my back the whole way to his car.

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Yes, now go,” Mollie said motioning to the stairs. “We’ll look after Finn, it’s no trouble.”

Erik brought me back to the house where Mollie, being Mollie, questioned why I wasn’t at work. I decided not to tell her about the package and had asked Erik to keep it to himself before we got inside.

“Thanks Moll, I just need to sleep off this killer migraine.” I only half lied.

Moll hugged me, her arms squeezing around my waist. “Don’t mention it, go.” She motioned to the stairs with her head. “If Lukas show’s up I’ll let him know you weren’t feeling well, and that you’re lying down.”

You mean,
when
he shows up.

Before going up to bed, I popped my head into Finn’s playroom where he was stretched out on the floor playing with a new Lego model and watching
The Avengers
again for the sixth time in the last week.

“Hey bud,” I said standing in the doorway looking down at him. “How’s your movie?”

“Mommy,” he exclaimed looking up from his Lego. “What are you doing home from work?” he said getting up and running to me.

I laughed at his excitement mixed with surprise. “Mommy wasn’t feeling well,” I said, crouching down to his level and pulling him into a hug.

“Oh, is Lukas with you?” he pulled away and looked up at me. “He said he would help build my new Lego he bought.”

“Oh, no, he’s working,” I said remembering Lukas tell him that a few days ago when we got back from a shopping trip to Hainesville.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Finn said.

“I was thinking, tomorrow we could have a movie day. Mommy hasn’t seen this movie yet,” I said motioning to
The Avengers
playing behind him.

“I’ll think about it,” he said casually as he walked to his toy bins.

“Yeah, you do that bud,” I laughed. “Come give me a kiss, I’m gonna go lay down for a bit. Mollie and Erik are in the kitchen.”

“Okay, feel better Mommy,” he said as he walked back over to me.

“Thanks baby,” I bent over and kissed the top of his head as he hugged me. “See you in the morning, love you.”

“Okay,” he said grabbing a handful of toys from one of his toy bins then going back to his Lego. “Love you too.”

Leaving his playroom I headed upstairs to my room. Changing out of my work clothes and into a pair of pajamas, I tossed back two Tylenols then crawled onto my side of the bed. Lying on my side with my head propped up on my arm; my eyes grew heavy and fluttered shut for a few seconds only to snap back open.

With my back facing the side Lukas slept on, I could smell him, feel his presence; I could even feel the heat radiating off his body like he was there, right behind me. I froze, the feeling of someone behind me overwhelming my body. I slowly rolled over and came face to face with someone who was not Lukas.

This can’t be.

I have to be dreaming. I just had to be.

My eyes widened in shock. My heart slammed against my chest. And the air rushed out of my body like I had the wind knocked out of me and an icy shiver rolled through my veins as a wave of nausea crept through me. My mouth opened and nothing came out but the breath I had been holding and his mouth pulled into a smile so malicious and cold it made my skin crawl.

“I told you not much longer ‘til I found you, you fucking worthless bitch,” his voice seethed with venom.

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and closed my eyes, wishing him away. This had to be a dream, this couldn’t be happening.

I was finally able to speak.

“Dex?”

His smile faltered before he lunged across the bed at me so quickly the scream caught in my throat unable to make its way out.

“
No
!” I cried as I bolted upright in bed.

My heart was pounding painfully against my chest. Sweat covered my clammy body and only the sound of my heavy breathing filled the room. I could hear the blood pumping, rushing through my ears as my eyes blurred; clouding with tears.

The room was dark. I couldn’t see anything other than the faint light from the moon sneaking in through the sides of my curtains and I quickly reached across to my night table and flicked the switch on my lamp; bright light illuminated the room. I looked around frantically, seeing nothing in the room but me, even as I felt around beside me in bed, it was only me.

My hands covered my face as my body began to tremble. “It was a dream; it was just a God damned fucking dream,” I said trying to calm down.

It was only a dream.

No, it was a nightmare.

No matter how many times I said it, it didn’t help, nothing did; nothing ever did. It may have been my first nightmare in months but it didn’t change the fact that I was still living my nightmare and I would continue to do so, never waking from it until the mess with Dex was over.

Looking over at the clock, it was just after eleven thirty, and everyone would more than likely be in bed, or at least Finn would be and Lukas was probably still working and pissed off at me over what happened with Erik today.

I fell back onto my pillows and curled up on my side hugging the corner of my blanket. If that nightmare was any indication of what was to come, then Dex was close to finding us, or he already knew where we were and was on his way.

Unless he was already here.

Mollie had brought up Dex being the one behind the gifts being left for me, but I brushed it aside thinking it wasn’t like him, that he wasn’t one to play games like that. But now, now I wasn’t so sure. It could be him, I have no idea what kind of mental state he’s in and what it was capable of making him do.

And after all he’s done; it’s very plausible that he was behind it all.

With that being said, we needed to get out of Camden. Mollie, Finn and I needed to pack what we needed and leave before he showed up and ripped us away, God knows doing what to us in the process.

And that meant leaving Lukas behind.

The thought of leaving Lukas sent a ripple of pain through my chest, leaving my entire body cold and numb; a feeling I knew I would carry with me for a long time after we left. And as much as it pained me to think of never feeling Lukas’ warm embrace or waking up to him in the morning, a thought that left a hollowed out feeling, if it meant staying clear of Dex and keeping Finn safe, there was no other choice.

We were leaving Camden tomorrow.

I felt my nose burn as my eyes began to cloud with tears when my cell vibrated on the side table, startling me from my thoughts. I reached for it and saw Lukas’ name across the screen.

“Hey.” My voice was thick with sleep and tears I wasn’t able to hold back much longer.

“Hey baby.” Lukas’ voice was soft and comforting. “You okay?”

No, I was not fucking okay, I was far from okay.

I wanted to scream and cry and just tell him everything and ask for his help. But I couldn’t. The words wouldn’t form, let alone come out. They were locked away.

Buried deep inside.

“Yeah,” I lied. “Why?”

“You don’t sound right,” he stated. “Something’s wrong.”

One thing I liked the most about Lukas, other than his good looks and skills between the sheets, it was how he always knew when something wasn’t right.

“Oh... yeah I fell asleep, just woke up a few minutes ago, and was just dozing off when I heard the phone ring.” I only half lied.

“
Baby.
”

He knew I was lying. Of course he did, he always knew.

“Lukas, really I’m fine,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady and the sob at bay until I could hang up. “I just had a bad dream that’s all.”

“Peaches,” he said soothingly, his voice sweet and velvety.

Oh, no. The sound of Lukas’ voice was breaking through and I knew I didn’t have much longer until I broke down like a complete girl for the first time in I don’t know how long. The lump formed as the sob I was trying so desperately to keep at bay wasn’t staying at bay any longer.

“Lukas,” I sobbed, no longer caring if he heard it.

“I’m on my way baby,” he said then he disconnected.