Unbeautifully Loved (Breathe Again) (24 page)

“Fuck Peaches, you’re so wet and so fuckin’ warm, love feeling you wrapped around me.” His voice was deep, like a growl and it made my stomach flip. “It feels so fucking right,” he said when our eyes locked. He pulled out, just leaving the tip of him inside before he drove back in hard and then again.

My eyes fluttered shut and rolled to the back of my head.

My bottom lip pulled between my teeth as he slammed into me again, my hands clenched around his back, my nails digging into his skin when his pace quickened, driving in faster and harder each time. My hands dropped from his back straight out to my sides and bunched what part of the sheets I could in my hands tightly, as he continued to drive into me harder, my body was close to coming undone again.

He pushed up, supporting his weight with his hands beside my shoulders and slammed into me again, my breath hitched as my legs tightened around his waist, my hands grabbed onto his biceps; holding onto him tightly. I felt my body begin to tremble and tingle all over as I clenched around his cock and the fire in my stomach finally exploded licking my body with flames. My walls once again tightened and I came undone around him in a long and intense orgasm.

Lukas slammed into me twice more before I heard him groan his release then he collapsed on top of me, his head buried in my neck. I could feel his heart pounding over mine as our heavy breathing filled the room and like times before, Lukas didn’t move off me right away.

His mouth found mine.

My lips parted for his.

Our tongues found each other.

Lukas made me feel something, something unfamiliar and brand new.

A feeling I was beginning to like when I was with him, not just sexually but whenever he was close by, whether we were alone together or together with Finn. Whether we were watching a movie or cooking together. I didn’t know what it was, and I couldn’t put my finger on it, all I knew was it was something I’d never felt.

Ever.

He slid out of me then rolled so he was on his back and I was on my side next to him. His arms wrapped around my shoulders and back as he pulled me closer into his chest as the exhaustion over took us.

“Things with you and Lukas seem to be getting pretty hot lately,” Mollie spoke bringing me back from inside my head.

“Huh?” I asked shaking the thoughts away.

“You and Lukas, things seem to going pretty well... and hot,” she said.

She wasn’t wrong.

Things with Lukas were hot.

The sex? Mind blowing. The best I’d ever had.

And I don’t know how it happened, didn’t think it was possible that the sex could get any better, but holy shit. Each time, better than the last time and more intense.

But what Mollie said two weeks ago had sat with me for awhile. A continuous thought cycle that did nothing but make my head hurt and feel like it was ready to explode. So I pushed it aside and haven’t thought about it since.

Mollie and Erik were still together and things were going well. They spent a lot of time together, some of that time spent at the house on the night’s I was working and when Mollie was watching Finn. Mollie had said it didn’t bother him because he still had yet to find a place he could afford so it saved them from spending all their time together, sans Finn, in his hotel room.

Then there’s Lukas and I.

He spent a lot of time at the house, not just with me but with Finn as well. They got along so good it scared me. We did things all together or the odd time he took Finn out, just the two of them. Like last Tuesday when he took him on a tour of the police station which Finn thought was
the
coolest thing he’d ever done in his almost five years of life. Seeing them together, getting close like that gave me mixed feelings.

On one hand it worried me for the simple fact that when Lukas and I didn’t work out it would definitely affect Finn and he would lose his bond with him and Lukas had already become such a constant in his life. But on the other hand it made me happy to see their relationship bloom like it had, to see Finn have a man to look up to and do boy things with, it was heartwarming and I loved watching the two of them interact.

I loved watching Lukas interact with Finn.

The way his eyes brightened when Finn told him every single detail of the new
Avengers
movie.

The way he laughed when Finn would say something that you didn’t expect a four year old to know or say.

But most of all, I loved seeing the complete solace the two had when they were together. Like Lukas had been around Finn’s entire life.

It wasn’t just with the two of them but when we did things just the three of us, it almost felt like a family moment. And each time there was that one moment where I would look at them and feel nothing but complete solace and bliss.

Lukas spent almost every night at my place, the only times not being when he had to work late and early into the morning on a case. The sex was well, I was sure no one out there knew how to fuck the way he did or make a woman feel the way he made me feel. I had no doubt, when it was over, I could never, would never, have sex with another man again.

I was ruined because of him. In a good way though.

There were times over the last ten days that I felt myself moving past my fear and start to feel ready and open to give myself to Lukas completely but then something would set me off and I’d be back to where I started– waiting for him to find someone who’d grab his attention like honey did to a bee.

Only problem being, I could feel myself becoming more and more attached to being with him, always having him around and the feelings I was trying so hard to keep buried inside. My feelings were slowly starting to rise and no matter how much I pushed, they pushed back telling me they weren’t going anywhere.

Each day I woke up in his arms safe, wrapped tightly and pulled close to his chest as if he was never going to let me go, and each day my feelings for Lukas grew stronger, grew deeper and more profound with every waking minute and having no control over it scared me. Every part of me ached at the thought of not having him anymore, not only did my body crave his touch but my head was emotionally involved and as hard as I was trying to keep my heart
far
away from getting involved, that was starting to become impossible.

I don’t know how he was doing it but he was making his way inside, the distance between him and my heart no longer far apart, and I did what I was good at and that was sweeping everything aside, ignoring it until the time came when I had no choice but to sort it out.

Work was work.

And my plan of setting Erik up with Mollie in order to have everyone get off my back didn’t take. Everyone still warned me and told me him dating Mollie and being at my house regularly made their concerns greater. It didn’t matter how many times I tried to tell them or invite Erik to sit at the bar with Danny, Bobby and Adam; nothing worked.

It was the same thing. They didn’t listen to me when I told them he was a good guy and treated my friend well and that they needed to drop their vendetta against him. But that also didn’t do anything and I was sure there was a secret ‘We hate Erik’ club and it would shock me if Lukas was the president.

It drove him mad. He hated that he visited me at work, that he spent time with Finn and Mollie and he despised the fact Mollie was dating him and that he slept under our roof, especially when he wasn’t there.

It was a lost cause; I was starting to think no matter what I did or say, no one was ever going to like Erik.

“Are you okay? You look like something’s bothering you?” Mollie asked her voice bringing me out of my thoughts and back to the moment.

We were sitting in the living room on the couch, a repeat episode of
Criminal Minds
on while Finn played in his playroom. “Yeah, I guess I just have a lot on my mind lately,” I told her my eyes on the screen but paying no attention to what was going on.

“I guess it’s been an interesting couple of weeks hey,” she said, looking in my direction. “I mean we’ve only been in Camden for what, almost six weeks but it feels like it’s been longer.”

Interesting, wasn’t it.

I’d say whirl wind or unsettling would be more appropriate.

I received more flower over the past couple weeks. The second vase arrived two days after the first. At first they were small bouquets and thought they were a mistake because the card kept coming with a simple L on it. But after the second one came, two bigger ones were delivered a day later and there was no mistake that they were for me; the card came with Lexie written in black felt. I had no idea who was having them delivered, at first I thought Dex, but for one he wasn’t a flower guy, and he’d only given me flowers once and the next day the vase with them in it came flying at my head.

And two, he’s doesn’t play games.

Lukas knew of the flowers and each time they came, he took them right back out and threw them in the trash can. Like me, it bothered him, it also worried him and I knew the first couple deliveries he suspected Erik but I drilled it into his head that it wasn’t, that he was with Mollie and they were happy so it didn’t make sense. Agreeing, he dropped the idea but still looked into it.

There was nothing to go by. No tag telling which florist they came from, no markings or symbols on the card just a plain, white card. We didn’t know if they were being delivered locally or from another town, why they were being left for me or who was behind it. Then the last vase of flowers came four days ago, nothing since. It was a load off not just my mind but Lukas and Mollie’s as well. It felt nice to go on my porch and not see something waiting for me anymore.

That was, until last night– when things took a chilling turn.

Mollie and I had ordered Chinese food for dinner. Finn was in bed and Lukas and Erik were both working late. It was getting late when Mollie decided to turn in and I told her I wouldn’t be far behind. After I tidied up, I noticed the garbage was full and with our garbage day being Mondays I decided to quickly run it out.

Garbage bag in hand I walked out on to the porch, took two steps then froze at what I saw sitting on the top step. It was no bigger than a shoe box, wrapped in shiny black paper with a small white envelope sitting on top, this time with my name written across it. As I bent over to pick the box up the feeling of being watched vibrated through me, covering my body in chills.

Holding the box in my arms I looked around as I walked slowly down the porch steps then the sidewalk path until I reached the end where our trash can was sitting. After tossing our garbage in I looked down at the box that felt like a thousand pounds in my arms. My eyes looked down the street towards Lukas’ but saw nothing but the odd car parked in driveways, some houses lit up while others were in darkness. I looked the other direction and saw nothing but the same. My eyes lingered in that direction longer as the feeling became more intensified.

I looked down at the weight in my arms, having no idea what I was about to find inside and sure I didn’t want know. Curiosity got the better of me and I lifted the envelope, opening it and taking the red piece of paper out. The word ‘soon’ was scribbled across the middle in black ink.

I felt a wave of nausea hit me and I tossed the card in the trash as if it had burned me. Hesitantly I removed the lid and pulled off the tissue paper holding my breath. Hidden under the paper was a bottle of white wine and a box of chocolate hedgehogs, both a favorite of mine. Like the card, I hastily tossed the box in the trash and slammed the lid down then turned and ran inside locking the door behind me. I headed to bed, contemplating on what to do.

The next morning I was still considering my options. I hadn’t told anyone about what I received. I was still freaked out. With the flowers at least I could brush it aside and claim they weren’t for me because they didn’t have my name on them, but this box, it had my name clear across the middle so there was no denying it was for me. I knew when Lukas found out he’d flip and make me do something completely asinine like move in with him and that was one can of worms I was not opening. Plus that can of worms could lead to bigger worms, being Dex.

“You have to stop doing that.” Mollies voice snapped me out of my daze and I turned to see her looking at me strangely.

“I have to tell you something,” I blurted out. “You know how I was getting those flowers?” I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth.