Unsound: A Horizons Book (29 page)

I laughed. There was no doubting the three beautiful blondes were related. They were each the spitting image of the next.

“Why don’t we go wait inside, give them a little privacy,” my dad suggested as Julie slowly stood up and looked at her mother. It was clear that there was tension between the two. I hated that there was more to understand. I felt a burst of anger and jealousy that I still didn’t know all of Julie.

I nodded and slowly turned to follow my father.

I looked back quickly and saw Julie hugging her mother. She looked over and we made eye contact briefly. I saw the tears in her eyes before she quickly blinked them away and turned her head so I wouldn’t see. She still wanted to hide from me. She still didn’t want me to see her.

Would I ever figure her out? Would I ever know all of her? Any of her?

I steadied my breathing and willed the anger to stay down. This wasn’t a good day not to get to the gym.

My dad stopped just inside the main entrance.

“What’s going on with you two?” he asked, catching me off guard. I looked around and noticed we were alone. He planned this.

“What do you mean?” I asked innocently. Hoping the edge was out of my voice.

“The last time I saw the two of you together, well… it was the two of you together. Now you’re dancing around each other. And you can’t tell me that Julie’s happy right now. She looks like someone just ran over her puppy. What did you do?”

“Why is it automatically me?” I asked, the anger building again, “Why am I always the one that fucks up?”

“Jon,” my dad started putting a hand on my shoulder, “I do not think you’re a fuck up. I do not think you’re bad. I just know that something is going on and I want to help.”

I shook my head but felt the anger drain, “I don’t think you can help, dad.”

I turned and walked back into the cafeteria to join the group and hopefully take the heat off of me.

Jeff

I was sitting at my desk trying to pull up the schedule for the weekend when I heard a knock on the door.

"Hey Jeff, you got a minute?" Mike Scott was standing at the door.

"You think I can say no to a man who takes up that entire door frame the way you do?" I said with a laugh. I know he almost went into pro-football, but the man was still impressively large, "what's up, man?"

Mike laughed and stepped in, closing the door behind him, "this'll be quick, I told Jon I was running to the car for my phone. I know you can't talk about another student, but I need to find out what's going on with Jon and Julie. Something ain't right there."

"I had a feeling you'd ask me about it. I really care about Jon, and I want what's best for him and that goes for Julie too. Julie has really been through it," I started. I knew this was unethical, but I wanted Mike to be prepared if Jon started talking to him about things.

"From what we know in chronological order,” I started with a sad sigh, “She was hospitalized for an eating disorder back when she was training to be a ballerina. She lost her father young to a fight with cancer. Her mom remarried pretty soon after but I don't know much on that. Julie still danced for a little while, but we don't know when or why she stopped wanting to be a dancer. She started getting in trouble at school and skipping; then she disappeared. She left a note so her mother didn't think she'd been kidnapped and she ran away. She was missing for seven months and when she was finally found, she was dragged out of a burning crack house where she lived. She was i.d.'d as a hooker and taken off to the hospital for detox as a criminal. That's all we know and that's because it's what the police report has told us. Julie’s mute on the subject and her mom pretty much took one look at her and sent her here."

"That explains that greeting I saw earlier," Mike mused, "They both looked... I don't know... Wary of each other? Scared? I don't know. I didn't like it."

"God, Mike. You have no idea what a mess it's been," I said with a sigh and sitting back in my chair. Lena and I had been over this so many times it was almost refreshing to hear someone else's take.

"Jon didn't take the news too well. Julie has completely closed off. We still haven't found out why she ran away, but I've got to say, there's something there. She recently opened up in a counseling session. We give everyone a mandatory day in a rotation. She mentioned something about being raped but brushed it off like she didn't mean to say it. I didn't hear it; I don't go to those sessions. They’re women only, women who have been sexually abused. The woman who leads that group told me about it."

I shrugged and looked at Mike. I felt helpless.

"It sounds a little familiar if you ask me," he commented, "the getting in trouble, skipping school, drugs. I don't know if Jon ever considered running, but I guess he didn't have to. We offered him Boston."

"It's a big leap to take without proof. We can't do anything or suggest anything unless Julie comes forward."

"You weren't kidding, Jeff. That girl has been through it," Mike said shaking his head. I just nodded my agreement.

"I just, can't believe that one girl can go through so much," Mike said, "and still find a reason to smile, to laugh. You should have seen her say hi to her sister. She looked so happy. She was so happy. She wasn't faking it."

"I know," I said in agreement, "I haven't met many people who have the same drive as Julie. I don't know where she gets it. My whole life, I was a fuck up. And it took a long time to care. Julie got here and sure her walls are up, hell, they’re higher than ever, but her drive is amazing. She’s smart. Her grades are perfect. She works out, she runs, she’s even come to the gym with Jon and me to box.

“I don't know how long she and Jon were sneaking off together and I know she still smokes cigarettes but I haven’t even wanted to nail her on it cause nothing has broken her focus. I have no idea what her goals are, but she has them. She hasn’t let all of this stuff break her down.”

“Jon hasn’t talked to me about any of this,” Mike commented shaking his head now, “I think he’s come back. He’s Jon again. And I know he needs to figure this all out.”

“Honestly, I don’t think he knows the whole story either,” I told him, “he found out about the prostitution and that’s what he isn’t handling. I don’t think he’s connecting the dots. I think he thinks that she chose that life.”

“Then I better smack some sense into the idiot,” Mike said gruffly. I laughed.

“Good luck. I don’t know how he and Julie are going to get through any problem, they’re two of the most stubborn kids I’ve ever handled.”

“I can only take blame for half of that,” Mike said as he stood, “I better get back, not that I think Jon is missing me. I have a feeling he’d be happy if I avoided him all day. But I’ll get him to crack. I’m going to knock some sense into him. That girl may have gone through it, but she’s amazing. He’d be a fool to let someone like that slip by.”

JASON

“Do you have any idea who we’re meeting with?” I asked Michelle as we sat in an empty classroom. Lena had told us to be here by noon, and to dress up a little.

“No, but it’s definitely a stranger, considering the dress code.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked. I hadn’t really thought much of having to wear a button down instead of a t-shirt. I probably would have done that anyway since Mindy’s parents were supposed to show up at some point that afternoon.

Michelle shrugged, “who do I know that would expect me in a dress?” she asked, adjusting the hem of her skirt.

“Maybe Lena’s trying to spice up your love life with the cop,” I joked, raising my eyebrows at her.

“I cannot believe you just said that,” Michelle retorted.

“You’ve known me a long time, of course you can,” I argued with a laugh.

“If you’ll just follow me,” we heard Lena’s voice approaching the room and turned to look at the door, “hey guys. Glad to see you’re here on time. I’d like you to meet a colleague of mine. We worked together at the facility I worked before coming here.

“Marianne, this is Michelle Miller, and Jason Fischer. Guys, this is Marianne Dubrow.”

We sat down again after shaking hands and trading pleasantries.

“So guys, I called Marianne in here because the two of you are about to turn eighteen. I’m not saying that either of you are ready, but I want you to discuss the options you have for your next steps,” Lena explained.

“No offense Lena, but, next step? It was a stroke of luck that I’m even here. We’re both orphans. Do we even have choices once we break outta here?” I really hadn’t thought about the future because I didn’t want to. I was an orphan. I knew that my free ride was over once I left here. I knew I would have to find a menial blue-collar job because I was graduating with a GED, the clothes on my back, and rehab and jail on my permanent record.

“That’s why Lena wanted me to speak with you guys," Marianne jumped in, "I was also in the foster system, which in Washington State at the time was pretty abysmal. You all know the story. Moving from foster home to foster home, nothing becoming permanent. Eventually you fall in with the bad crowd. It wasn’t long before I used and suffered with addiction. I attended various state-funded detox facilities until I aged out. That’s when I was really screwed. I was homeless for a stint and ran into an old friend I had known through partying. They were living in an adult sober living home, or a halfway house. That’s when everything started to turn around. They had an opening and after the mandatory detox, I moved in. They helped me figure out the next step. I was able to get a part time job and applied to community college. It was something I had never even known existed.

“Was it easy to live there? Of course not. But when you’re an addict, you don’t get normal. You have to live with the challenges of being an addict every day. Being in a halfway house helped. I could come home at night and not worry about the temptations of college life. I was able to focus on work and school and wasn't as tempted by the drinking and drugs and sex that come with college life.

"Did I have a couple of slip ups over the years, yes. I'm not going to lie to you. But for me, living in a halfway house was essential. Being around like-minded people helped a lot. It’s not for everyone, and maybe you think you’re ready to dive feet first into college and dorms and real life, but this was a safety net for me."

“What are you guys thinking?” Lena asked. I saw the hope in her eyes but this was all too overwhelming for me.

"Do you think I can start college in the fall?" Michelle asked. Her excitement matched Lena's and I didn't like it. I had never been here without Michelle. We had been here for almost the same amount of time and yet I had no idea that she was ready to leave. It was surreal thinking about being at Horizons without her.

“Well, again, that’s why Lena had me come in to talk to you guys," Marianne jumped in again, "Eighteen is when you accept that you’re an adult and start making the hard choices in life.”

“Whoa, just because I'm turning eighteen I need to figure out what I'm doing next? Lena, you guys aren't kicking us out right after our birthdays, are you? I didn't think we could age out of here," I asked. This conversation amped my anxiety up; I suddenly felt like I was being ambushed.

"No, Jay. You're not aging out," Lena quickly jumped to soothe my nerves, "Everyone comes in here at such different age levels that we extend passed other youth programs, but it's more difficult the longer you stay. Our rules don't change. You can't have a cell phone or a car. We're far from any of the colleges and we don't have a shuttle that can bring you. You can start taking some classes online, but that's limiting at best. Most of our students start making decisions to leave when they reach eighteen or nineteen. But of course a lot of them move home for a while, until they land on their feet. Unfortunately, you two have a harder time with this since you are orphans, you don't have the same safety net that others have.

"I'm not trying to rush you or scare you, Jason. I just wanted to bring it up in advance, so you're prepared," Lena said.

"It's always better to start thinking about this sooner rather than later," Marianne piped up. I was starting not to like her. Michelle on the other hand.

"So at a halfway house, we can have a cell phone and a car and a job and go to school?" she asked with a gleam in her eye. I started to see the appeal from her point of view. Michelle had never learned to drive, never had a cell phone, and was almost banned from seeing her boyfriend. To leave campus there had to be a schedule, a chaperon, a shuttle. It was limiting at best, to use Lena's words.

"Yes, you're able to have a car and a cell phone. But they are privileges that you must earn and that can be taken away. You're responsible for your own schedules and making class attendance and good grades. You will have a curfew, but we are more lenient. And we hold sessions at the house. You can go to other ones as well, but you’re required to do group sessions a couple times a week," Marianne advised.

"If you guys are interested, I was going to ask Jeff about maybe taking a trip out to see what living conditions are like, visit some of the local schools in the area. I figured I'd see where your guys' heads were at before bringing it up to him," Lena said.

"I'm in," Michelle said immediately before looking at me.