Unsuitable (23 page)

She
licked the length of him, more surprised at her own courage than what it did to
him. He made the kind of sound a man makes when he hits his hand with a hammer.
A strangled cry, part pain, part frustration. She knew he’d be that way;
unguarded and honest. He curled his torso off the bed to watch her roll the
latex on him, to catch her face and hold her to his lips, then he lay back and
offered his hands and she took them like she took his heart, because it was held
out to her too. She saw it in his eyes. Nothing held back, nothing not hers to
touch and lick and suck and kiss and squeeze; to hurt as she needed; to pleasure
as she pleased.

She
pushed against the ache, the tightness of resistance in her body. He helped her
balance, kept her steady and eased her way with slow tilts of his pelvis, with
unhurried breaths. She was full, so full of him, it was almost too much, too
intense. He saw it and captured her face in his hands, slowed her pulse with
careful kisses, touched her so she’d soften around him, take his length and
girth.

His
eyes were wide and fixed on her. “You’re beautiful.”

She
felt it. Saw it reflected in his reactions. She felt connected and wanted to go
deeper. So long, so very long since she’d lived in the bliss of her body. Her
brain was melting.

“You’re
so easy.”

He
laughed. His hands were on her back now. “I won’t take that the wrong way.”

She
lifted herself and reseated. She heard his teeth clack as he clenched his jaw. He
was easy, to be with, to want, to trust, but those words were stuck inside the
heat of her thoughts, the vibration in her body. He rocked her forward and they
groaned together. She could sense his patience fraying, in the rigidity of his
muscles, in the pressure of his hands and the pace of his thrusts.

“You
feel too fucking good. I gotta move, baby.”

And
yet he waited till she cried her yes, bowing her body to feel more of him. He
cut loose. He thrust deep and hard and fast, and all her breath rushed out as
her senses took note of his monstrous capacity, his body’s capability for causing
hers to shudder, to mass-produce ecstasy, have it thrum through her limbs till
she was nothing but an exploding star to his universe of motion.

There
were no monsters in this house that night, except the insatiable, shameless,
lustful one they made together.

17:   Wrecked

Reece
didn’t need to look at his phone to know he had another message from Sky. He
had a bunch of them he didn’t know how to answer to her satisfaction. There was
no going back, especially now. He didn’t want to look at anyone except Audrey. He’d
hardly slept but he wasn’t feeling it. She’d slept, and because Mia only
grizzled and didn’t wake screaming, she’d had plenty. There was colour in her
cheeks this morning that wasn’t the doing of hot tea and a BLT. He liked the
idea he’d put it there.

He
liked the idea he’d get to do it again.

Fuck,
he’d wanted to be with her. Not the fricking hide and seek thing they’d had
going. Tic, tac, bloody toe, slipping around each other and the fact they both
wanted more. Nearly killed him to hold off and not nail that last square that’d
give him a straight line to her. But she’d looked too fragile and he knew she
had doubts. Unnecessary scruples. The first mover advantage thing, the whole
she was his boss thing. And Mia, she worried for Mia. But Mia was fine and
Audrey was better, and last night had blown the top of his head off.

She’d
come into his room looking like a fantasy off the Victoria’s Secret catwalk,
sophisticated and so sexy he didn’t know where to look, where to put his hands,
until he got them on her. He’d never felt awkward like that before. Challenged.
He’d clutched the quilt like he was scared of what was under it. He was afraid
she’d see how hard his heart was beating and think he wasn’t up to it.

It
got easier once she took his hand, because she looked at him with such faith he
knew he would make it good for her. And she shook free in his arms, gave him
every emotion she had while he pinned them together. It was the best sex he’d
had sober because he lost it too, forgot himself enough to simply feel good, because
it was safe to, because their minds and hearts were in it too.

It
was a permission thing, he knew it. Deeper than consent, than mutual wanting. Bigger
than timing and place. The curse of his size again, of preferring it slow and
deep, intense and easy, nothing rough or forced. Nothing in the eyes of the
woman he went with sparking fear or looking for something he didn’t want to
give. Audrey gave him permission to be himself and they exercised the trust
they’d built over Mia on the bed.

There’d
have been more exercise, Olympic proportions of it, if he’d known it was going
to happen. One condom.
Shit
. And not in the best nick, slightly tacky to
touch. If he’d been prepared he’d have picked a fresher one. Talk about
unprepared. No, not unprepared so much as not setting things up to fail.

Audrey
said it was once and there was every possibility she’d want to rewind, go back
to before she got sick and they’d started messing with each other’s heads. Though
how that was going to work was as mysterious as whatever the hell Polly was up
to—correction, who-ever the hell Polly was up to, and rebooting was as much of
a no-go as stopping things now.

They
weren’t stopping. It wasn’t one night.

This
morning Audrey couldn’t even pretend she thought that was a solid idea. She
watched him like she could see through his clothes; it made his skin prickle,
it made him hard and he fucking loved it. She’d never looked at him like this
before. Never so wickedly greedy. If the Mia juggernaut didn’t have to roll on
schedule it wouldn’t only be eye-fucking they’d do over the breakfast counter.

The
look on her face. He could guess what she was thinking. She knew she’d got him
in a state.

“I
thought I’d come to playgroup with you. Say hello to everyone.”

She
was dressed in yoga pants and a zippered jacket. He’d left her sleeping while
he corralled Mia and made breakfast. “I thought I could go for a walk, start
building my strength before I go back to work.” She licked her lips. “Don’t
look at me like that.”

What?
Like he wanted to make her his main meal for the day?

“Mum,
when I brush my teeth blood comes out.”

She
didn’t break eye contact. “Does it, Marvellous?”

Neither
did he. “Brush gently, Mia.”

Audrey’s
cheeks pinked on the word gently. God, she looked gorgeous this morning with
that flush of health, that hot shot of wanting sex in her eyes. Fuck playgroup.
Maybe he could dump Mia on Carrie and Junna and sneak off with Audrey for an
hour. Yeah, that wouldn’t look suspicious. Much. Not that he cared. He wanted
to put it on a billboard, hire a skywriter, but she might want to be more
circumspect.

“About
last night,” he started. Good to get it out and clear.

“No
monsters came last night,” said Mia.

“I
chased them all away,” he said, eyes on Audrey.

“You
certainly did,” she said. She brushed a finger over her lips. “No monsters left
in this house.”

Unless
you counted the one they’d made last night, a monstrous new desire to get naked
and eat each other up. He closed the dishwasher drawer. “Are we going to talk?”

“I
was talking,” said Mia. “Listen to me.”

He
closed the door and set the dishwasher running. “Audrey?”

“Mum,
I was talking. Mum. Mum. Listen to me.”

Audrey
laughed. “We’re all going to playgroup.” She looked at Mia. “You’ll see all
your friends and I can talk to Reece.”

He
leaned against the counter and folded his arms. That was as much of an answer
as he was going to get for now. He didn’t feel a hint of annoyance about it. He
felt awesome. He drove. Mia sang and made it impossible to talk. Audrey was a
hit surprise guest at the beach.

Carrie
hugged her hard. “Christ on a cracker, Aud. We were so worried about you.”

“How
much weight did you drop?” said Junna. Reece heard more admiration than concern
in her voice.
Jesus
.

“You
look well though,” said Maria.

“I’m
much, much better. I’m back at work soon,” Audrey said, then faced a dozen or
more questions, rapid fire artillery. He kept half an ear on it and watched the
kids until Carrie’s hand on his arm.

“You
did good.”

He
should get Mia to blow her nose, but hey, sleeves could be washed. He cut a
glance at Carrie. “What do you mean?”

“You
took care of both of them.”

He
nodded. He’d keep doing it too as long as Audrey would let him.

In
front of them a bunch of little kids acted like drunks falling down in the
sand. Behind them there was laughter.

Carrie
leaned into him. “I’ve missed my chance with you haven’t I?”

“Ah.”
What to say?

“I
can see it on you. The way you look at her. The way she looks at you.”

“I’m
not sure she—”

“Wants
anyone to know. She’s a fool. I’d want you to wear a sign. Property of Carrie. I’d
have it tattooed on your chest, make you go shirtless so everyone would know I
owned you.”

He
laughed and it sounded shifty. Carrie made him nervous. So goddamn confident. Polly
would like her. Except odds on Polly was liking someone else right now.

She
squeezed his arm. “Oh don’t worry, they can’t hear us.”

“I
don’t have a problem if they can.”

She
yelled. “Hey, Toby. Don’t hit. Hailey. Eugenia, no biting.”

He
stepped forward to sort out the altercation. Maria called Carrie and he heard her
rejoin the women behind him, sitting on the cement steps that lead down to the sand.
He got Mia to blow her nose. He unstuck Tody’s zipper from his underpants and
stopped him whining about sand in his hair. He could hear the women plenty good
enough. Did they want him to? He had to think so, they were cackling loud
enough.

“He’s
like our mascot, Audrey.”

“No
one messes with us when Reece is around.”

“Best
thing you ever did was hire him, Aud.”

“I’d
hire him as my house husband but I think my real husband might object.”

“I
bet he could make doing a load of dirty laundry look sexy.”

“I
think if I saw Reece unstack a dishwasher I might spontaneously orgasm.” That
was Carrie. He turned and glared at her, she grinned back. “You can stack my dishwasher
any day, big boy.”

He
opened his arms, free-shot wide. Why not, they were taking them. “I’m right
here and I’m not deaf.”

“We
know, sexy. We’re funning on you,” said Junna.

“You’re
totally...” sand squeaked under his foot as he ground it, searching for the
word.

“Objectifying
you,” said Carrie.

They
laughed. Audrey looked down at her feet.

“My
old boss never let a day go by without commenting on my appearance. He thought
it was being nice. It was creepy,” said Maria. “Didn’t matter that I asked him
to not to.”

“Every
time I see my dentist he wants to know if I date. He knows I’m married. Every
time,” said Janine. “I need to change dentists, but it’s a hassle. “And what
about you, Audrey? All those guys at your work, patronising you.”

Audrey
looked up at him. “No, it’s not that—”

“You
got passed over, right.”

“Yeah,
that—” She got interrupted again. They all talked on top of each other. Audrey
mouthed the word ‘sorry’.

“We’re
just getting some of our own back, Reece.”

“You
can take it.”

“It’s
just a bit of fun.”

Yeah,
he could take it. He was built like an army tank and he was a nanny. He didn’t
have to like it though. He walked forward and held his hand out to Audrey.

“Audrey
needs to walk. Get her fitness back. If you guys watch Mia, I’ll go with her
and bring back coffee.”

Not
a cackle. They were all looking at his fucking hand. Why did he do that? She
wasn’t going to take it. Not in front of them.

“He’s
determined to get me fit again.” Audrey stood, her hands busy brushing
imaginary sand from her thighs.

“No
hurry,” said Carrie. “Eugenia, stop that.”

“We’ve
got Mia,” said Junna. “No throwing sand.”

He
led off, going up the steps behind the women; he wanted out of their sight. He
could hear Audrey behind him and then he felt her hand on the back of his hip.

“Slow
down.” He stopped. “Are you mad?” She put her hand in his. “Please tell me
they’re not always like that.”

He
looked down at her, brows mashed down low in concern. He cupped her face and
kissed the furrow on her forehead. “Nope. I’m not mad. I don’t know what that
was about.”

“I
do.” She squeezed his hand. “Every one of them wants what’s in your pants.”

He
laughed. “It’s playgroup for fuck’s sake. There are kids.”

“There’s
you, looking like you do, so unexpected. They’re all bored. Maria can’t wait to
go back to work. Janine hated working, but resents being at home, and you know
Carrie’s story.”

He
shook his head. Rather not think about that. “You tried to say it wasn’t that
bad, the objectification, at work.”

“It’s
not. It’s a male dominated workplace, but I like it. I love it. There’s
discrimination, I’ve experienced it up close and, yes I deserved a promotion. Having
Mia cost me that.” She frowned again. “But no one ogles me or seriously
propositions me.”

“What
do you mean seriously propositions you?”

She
shrugged then tugged his hand and they started walking. “Nothing I can’t
handle.”

He
stopped, making her stop too. “Like what? I want to know.”

She
sighed. “There’s the whole you must be lonely vibe. Especially at conferences. When
I was first starting out it was much rougher.” She tugged his hand again, and
they walked on. “I worked in a smaller construction company. I managed customer
relations.”

She
sighed and he saw memories chase across her face; grey clouds over blue skies.

“But
I was always the cute chick from reception. I was honey, or sweetheart, never
Audrey. One character insisted on calling me Holly Golightly after Audrey
Hepburn’s character in
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
. She was a kind of an
American geisha girl, a virtual prostitute and he knew that. That was his whole
shtick. Didn’t matter how often I asked him to quit it.”

Reece
stopped again, but he wasn’t aware of it until Audrey pulled on his hand.

“They’d
ask me about my boyfriends and whether I wore a bikini to the beach, would I
play strip poker with them, if I wanted to sit on the office Santa’s knee and
give him a kiss at Christmas. They knew they made me uncomfortable. That was
part of the joke, like what the girls were doing to you. It’s a power play. Stinks,
but it’s rare to find a woman who hasn’t experienced some form of it. You
either fight it, and that’s tricky if you’re one person against, well, you saw
how that goes, or you shut up and get on with it.”

He
let all that wash into him. He’d heard stories like it from Charlie. Probably
not the worst of what happened to her, and Sky once got molested on a crowded
train. She’d been furious with herself for letting the guy touch her and get
away with it rather than cause a fuss. He’d wanted to rip train carriages apart
for her, find the guy and pound him into the tracks.