Unsuitable (26 page)

“He
does.”

“That’s
so. That’s so. I’m incoherent, it’s so exciting.”

The
arriving waitress heard that and couldn’t hide her smirk. Audrey attacked her
coffee in an attempt to contain how anxious this conversation made her. She
loved Reece, but it was confusing. It was too easy to love him because he made
her days run smoothly, because he made her nights so thrilling. He’d saved her
life again and again and how could you not be a little in love with that, and
with the gentle, unruffled nature of him?

Half
an hour later, waiting outside Chris’ office she felt nauseous. The next few
minutes might determine her future and further complicate her relationship with
Reece.

Chris’
door opened and he popped his head out and beckoned. “Audrey, come in.” He
gestured to a lounge suite setting by the floor to ceiling window. She had no
eyes for the view today.

“You
gave us such a scare. How are you feeling?”

“I’m
well. I gave me a scare too.”

“I
had no idea meningitis could be such a deadly disease. I spoke to your
specialist myself. Take a seat, but can I have a hug first. I really thought we
might lose you.” He opened his arms awkwardly, he blushed too. He’d once been a
much closer colleague and it was easy to forget that he was still a friend.

They
hugged, quickly, with more feeling than grace and avoided the lounge to take an
armchair each and regain their distance. They exchanged a few more pleasantries
about Mia, about the new decor in the office and then he said. “What can I do
for you?”

Audrey
hesitated. He’d opened a big door. He might have asked what date she was
expected back or talked about what workload she’d pick up. He might’ve asked if
she was mentally ready to return, if she’d had second thoughts perhaps after
what she’d been through. These were the scenarios she’d talked through with Les.
That’s what she’d have done in his place, especially if the news wasn’t going
to be good, eased into the idea of a redundancy. Instead he’d created space for
her to play with.

“You
could promote me.”

Chris
frowned. She couldn’t take it back. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She’d
filled that free space with a very large, pulsating idea.

“I
wondered if you were coming in here to resign. You went through the kind of
experience that can make a person rethink their life.”

“I’m
ready to come back. I miss work.”

The
top half of Chris’ face kept broadcasting concern, but he smiled. “Your projects
were in a mess when you got sick. Not your fault, but it didn’t endear you to
the people who had to take up your workload. You’ve had extensive time off.”

She
nodded. She’d had more time off than she was eligible for, but no more than was
necessary.

“And
we’ve been generous in paying you for leave you weren’t strictly speaking
entitled to, and now you want to sashay back in here with a promotion.”

She
smiled too. It was either that or fold her hand. “You asked. That’s what I
want. It’s what I deserve.” She said that passionately and it helped her not
cringe when she went on to say what a man would, despite the boasting that made
it sound incredibly self-serving. “I’ll make an excellent director. I won’t
give you any reason to regret promoting me.”

He
stood up. He was terminating the conversation. At best he’d say something vague
that told her nothing. At worst he’d be straightforward and say no. Or maybe it
was the other way around. This is not how she expected this to go, she expected
to be reading between the lines to understand how likely she was to keep her
existing job.

He
held his hand out; there’d be no more hugs. “That’s what I want too. I’ve
wanted this since we spoke about you being passed over when you had Mia. That
was a dastardly piece of business. Being a parent of any sex, single or
otherwise has no bearing on your value to us. I meant to redress that, but I
was tardy and then you fell ill. We need to make it easier for women coming
back after having a child. We need to make it easier for men to take paternity
leave. We’re a long way from good on those ideals. You will make an excellent
director, and if you give me any reason to regret promoting you, you’ll hear
about it.” He smiled. “Plus I’ve been studying voodoo and I’ve got me some pins
with your name on them.”

She
stood, put her hand in his; it was less a shake than two people holding hands
for a moment, sealing their deal. They grinned at each other and Audrey had to
stop herself from laughing.

“There
are tough times coming. I want you back to help see us through them.”

He’d
never guess she had that sussed. “I can do that.”

Chris
withdrew his hand. “No more scares like that, Audrey. Screw up on an account, but
don’t make me stand in a hospital waiting room wondering if I’m going to lose
someone who’s important to the business, important to me personally.”

“I’ll
do my best.”

“Anything
else you need?”

She
nodded. “I’d like to try that hug thing again. I know it’s not politically
correct but I’ve just had some very good news.”

He
laughed and opened his arms again and this time they hugged like two people who
liked each other. On her way out the door he called her name and she turned
back to face him.

“Don’t
screw up any accounts either, okay?”

She
laughed and pulled the door closed behind her. She knew without Chris saying it
she needed to sit on this news until it was official. She could leak it to Les,
but more importantly she wanted to share it with Reece. And she knew exactly
how.

She
arrived home to the sound of laughter. Mia’s and Reece’s voices mingling. As
soon as she set foot in the hallway proper they’d hear her. She hovered on the
front step listening to a happy child. Reece was folding washing, teaching Mia
how to match and roll socks. In about an hour Mia would slip out of angel mode
straight into demon child with no suitable explanation and no interim stops in
between, but for now her giggles as Reece tried to get her to fold one of his
t-shirts that would swamp her like a bed-sheet were the cherry on the cake of
the day.

Having
her career didn’t automatically make her a bad mother. It meant she could
provide the best for Mia. It meant she could keep Reece. It meant she had time
to work out what she felt for him, untangle all the threads that defined them: boss,
employee, carer, cared for, lovers.

She
stepped into the hallway.

“Mum.”
Mia’s running feet. She appeared wearing Reece’s shirt over her clothes. “Look,
I’m Reece.” The man himself appeared behind her. He leant against the wall,
barefoot, arms folded. They locked eyes until Mia stood on her toes, opened her
legs and arms starfish style, making herself as big as she knew how. “Hello
Audrey,” she tucked her chin into her neck and made her voice low, “did you
have a good day at work?”

Audrey
dumped keys and bag and went forward to sweep Mia up before she tripped
herself. She settled Mia on her hip. “I had a great day at work.” She looked to
Reece. “I got a promotion.”

He
grinned. “For real?”

She
spun around, dancing in a circle with Mia. “For real, for real, for real.” Mia
squealed, Reece laughed. She stopped and looked at him. She couldn’t conceive
of this house without him in it. Or her life without him in it. She’d almost
lost the chance to have this, laughter and hope and success and family. Tears
burned the back of her eyes.

Mia
put her hands on Audrey’s face. “Mum, are you sad?”

“No,
I’m happy.”

Mia
frowned. “Oh. I don’t understand.”

Audrey
laughed, she blinked the tears away. “Happy and sad are sometimes very close
together.”

“I
was sad when you were sick, but now I’m happy, and there are no more monsters,”
said Mia.

Audrey
looked to Reece. No more monsters, only the monstrous opportunity to be happier
than she’d ever thought possible.

19:   Secrets

Mia
melted down right before dinner. Reece should’ve predicted it. Overtired,
hungry, unsettled by seeing Audrey in her work clothes again—who knows. She
sulked. She pouted. She cried. She wanted to eat in front of the TV, which she
knew she wasn’t allowed to do.

Audrey’s
work clothes did something to him too. He’d gotten used to seeing her in casual
gear with her hair loose or tied back simply, and no make-up. The suit was navy
with fine pinstripes, a narrow skirt, a jacket that should’ve fitted better. He
wanted to run his hands over her legs while she wore those stilt heels, open
her jacket to see what was under it other than the hint of white above the top
button. But for the stunning tantrum that sucked all the air out of the room
and stole the best of his attention, that’s what he’d be doing. Touching Audrey.

He
had to make do with listening to her through Mia’s grizzles as he tried to get
her to eat anything. In the middle of telling him about her meeting with Chris,
Audrey clapped her hands. “Mia, what is wrong?”

“I
don’t like—”

“You
like it perfectly every other time. If you eat in front of the TV this one time
will you stop crying?”

The
Miapocalypse ceased.

Instantly.

Reece
looked at the ceiling. One time wouldn’t hurt. He turned back to the salmon
salad he was preparing for later for the grown-ups. Audrey took Mia’s plate and
cup and a triumphant Mia into the other room. It was blissfully quiet if you
forgave the sound of Peppa Pig.

“Anyway,
it goes like this.” Audrey was back.

He
sighed. He’d get a few moments with her. Maybe even enough time to get his
hands on her. He smelled of fish, she smelled floral and sweet. Mia had tried
his patience today. All he wanted was Audrey in his arms.

“Hi.”
He threw a tea towel on the bench and opened his arms.

She
walked into them and tipped her head so he could kiss her neck. “Hi.”

“You
just waltzed in there—”

“I
sashayed, according to Chris.”

“And
asked for a promotion.”

“I
was bolshie and big noted myself like a man would and it worked.”

She
laughed then turned her face so he could get to her lips. He took them, then
took her waist and sat her on the kitchen counter. Now he could get to her
legs.

“You
were brave.”

Did
he have a right to feel proud of her? Her cleverness had nothing to do with
him, but the feeling that swelled inside him could only be called pride.

“I
was foolhardy. In every scenario I rehearsed with Les I was losing my job and I
was losing you.”

He
ran his hands up her calves to the back of her knees, got one between them to
her thigh. She clamped her legs around it. Her skin was so hot through her
stocking. He had a picture of her cool under pressure in the office but steamed
up under him in bed.

“Never
going to lose me, Aud.”

He
undid her jacket with his free hand, there was a silky slip of a thing under it
that flowed on her like last night’s whiskey had coated his anger.

“I
like the sound of never.” She had one hand in his hair, one under the back of
his shirt.

The
skirt was too close around her legs to let him stand between them, to allow him
to move his hand much further up her thigh. Something had to give, the skirt,
his hand. He could see the outline of her bra, her nipple. What? “Did you just
say—”

“I
spilled it.”

They
both jumped at the sound of Mia’s voice. He pulled away from Audrey and reached
for the kitchen towels. His phone rang, vibrating on the counter, they all
looked at it. He went with Mia and cleaned up the spill. Then he got her bathed
and teeth cleaned and into bed without much protest. Little monkey knew she was
in trouble. His phone went off again. He let it ring out. He read
The Cat in
the Hat
until Mia’s eyes started drooping and when he got back to the
kitchen it was empty.

Audrey
came in while he was listening to the messages. The suit was gone, in its place
she had her chunky dressing gown on. He wanted to smash his phone underfoot. Sky’s
timing was superb, beat even Mia’s.

“It’s
not what you think,” he said.

“What
do you think I think?” Audrey levered herself back on the kitchen counter where
she’d been before. She still had the shoes on. They were usually the first
thing she dumped, along with her bag, phone and watch.

He
tossed his phone into the fruit bowl. “You think I’ve got something going on
the side with Sky.” Goddamn, that fucked him off that she’d think that, but why
else the cool manner, the stodgy dressing gown. He knew she’d looked down at
the phone screen same as he did and saw Sky’s name come up.

She
took the clip out of her hair and shook it out. “I don’t think you’ve got
something going on the side. You don’t have time for a side and even if you
did, you are not a man who’d two-time a woman.”

There
was nothing in her voice to give him a clue where her head was at. She might be
mocking him. “You don’t think. But you saw.”

“I
saw an ex-girlfriend, someone you cared for, call you. Annoyingly.” She played
with the tie on the robe. “If you’ve got something you want to tell me, you’d
better do it.”

“There
are no secrets. You know everything there is to know about me.” Audrey simply didn’t
need to be bothered with this. “Sky wants us to get back together again.”

“Ah.”
Audrey reefed the tie on the gown tighter.

“She’s
been calling.” He scrubbed his head, irritated beyond cranky kids and spilt
milk. “I need to go see her, talk her down. I’ve been putting it off. Yes, she
means a lot to me, but I was never in love with her, Audrey, and there’s no
future for Sky and me.”

“You’re
sure? You don’t owe me anything. We can go back to how we were before. This new
job is going to soak up time. I won’t have much energy for anything else.”

He
folded his arms. First he’d gotten defensive about Audrey knowing Sky was
calling, and now Audrey was saying she didn’t have time for him.
Head spin
.
Hadn’t she just said the whole never being lost from each other thing sounded
good?

“Are
you telling me there’s no room for me in your life, only Mia’s?” That’s what
the fugly dressing gown said, loud and clear.

“I’m
asking if you’d rather be somewhere else.”

“I
told you last night where I wanted to be and just then, before the spilt milk. I
mean it.”

“Good.”
Her eyes were down. “I only wanted to be sure.” She pulled the tie on the robe
and drew it open.

Air
snagged in his throat. “Holy fuck.”

“You
like?”

She
had proper matching sheer underwear on, completely see-through. She had old-fashioned
stockings with clips and a belt to hold them up. He had to unstick his tongue
from the roof of his mouth.

“You
had this on under that suit?”

She
nodded. “I figured it was going to be a bad day. I only had to look like a good
girl on the outside. Thought I’d lose the war, but come home and win the battle
with you.”

He
pressed a hand between her thighs and moved her knees apart. “You look like a
good girl to me.” He shifted between her legs. The underwear hid nothing.
Jesus
.
Her nipples were furled and rosy. His gut tightened.

She
laughed. “That’s not what I was going for.”

He
put a finger under one of the straps that held her stocking. He’d never been
with a woman wearing these before. All manner of nano-underwear, string and
slits and cut-outs, lots of skin art; tattoos and piercing, especially during
his fighting days, but not this sweetest of dirty seductions. He ran his finger
between the clip and the top of the belt, elastic lace on one side, warm, silky
skin on the other. “I’ve forgotten the question.”

She
laughed.

He
asked his own. “You’re not mad at me about Sky?” He pulled his finger away, the
elastic flicked against her thigh and they both flinched.

“I’m
not mad with you. Hard to envisage I ever could be.”

She
put her hands to his shoulders. He was having a hard time looking her in the
face. There was so much else to look at, and knowing she’s worn this gear for
him as much as for herself on a day she expected to lose made it impossible to
concentrate on anything else. She was wet. He could smell it and see it. A real
apocalypse wouldn’t keep him from her.

“I
love you, Reece.”

Now
he looked at her lovely face, flushed and clear of make-up, just her spiky eyelashes
left. Her hair was wild, curled around her shoulders, her eyes so bright they
sparked.

“Mia
was loud a lot today. I think I’m going deaf. What did you say?”

“I
love you.”

He
dropped his eyes to her legs. Couldn’t hide his face splitting grin. “Still
didn’t get that.” He flicked the strip of elastic deliberately, making her
jerk, and ran another finger across the top edge of the bra down to the bow at
the centre and then across her other breast. She shivered; he was painfully
hard. Mia had better stay in her damn bed.

“I
love you, Reece. I’ve been scared to feel it. But I know it’s true.”

He
closed his hand over her breast. Was this really happening? “I’m a fair dinkum
hero. I get the job and the girl.”

She
groaned because what he was doing to the girl was no job, all pleasure for both
of them. He licked the nipple he’d just pinched through the thin net of her
bra. She pulled at his shirt and he stepped back to yank it over his head. Fuck,
yeah, this was happening.

Audrey’s
eyes were locked on his. “If that kid gets out of bed, we’re risking bad dreams,
wet sheets, a stuffed animal invasion, attachment problems as an adult. We’re
yelling at her till she gets back in there and stays.”

He
grinned. He could deal with that. He needed to deal with sheer silk and lace
and satin skin and the smell of Audrey’s arousal more than he wanted to wrangle
a kid who didn’t want to go to bed. He sent up a prayer that Mia wouldn’t
choose tonight to have sore toes, or a moth in her room, or need a drink of
water urgently in the one special glass that was unwashed in the dishwasher.

“You’re
so beautiful, Audrey.”

She
held her arms out. “You’re pretty awe inspiring yourself.”

He
stepped between her legs again slid his hands around her waist under the robe
to palm her butt. He lifted her into him, pressed their torsos together; heat
and the scratch of that lace became fierce need. He kissed his way across her
shoulder, up her neck, to her mouth.

He
didn’t know if having Audrey love him was going to change things more than it
had already done since they’d fallen for each other, and he didn’t care. He’d
roll with whatever she needed for herself and for Mia.

He
nipped at her lips, teasing her with his teeth until she clawed his chest. His ‘ow’
was muffled in her mouth, soothed away by her tongue. The house could burn down
around them he wasn’t giving up this kiss, this chance to be with her, to make
certain she knew it meant love not just fucking around.

He
lay her back over the counter and drank her in. Fucking sexy. How was it some
other guy wasn’t doing this to her? How was it he got to be the one she chose?

Her
cheeks were pink and the rosy hue filtered down her neck and across the throat.
She was gorgeous. That bra was like a frame on a favourite photograph, he liked
it, he’d leave it, but the stockings had to go before he could get to her pants,
and the pants had to go no matter how pretty they were.

“I
love this stuff.” He studied the hook on the stockings. Not like a bra hook. There’d
be one at the back too. He ran his hands round her thighs and found it. “Can’t
believe you wore it to work.”

“I
wore it for you to take off me.”

Hell,
yeah
.
But that was going to slow things up. He was all thumbs and couldn’t work the
clip and he didn’t want to tear any of it and that looked too easy to do. She
put her hand down on his and showed him how the hook worked. He pressed a kiss
to the skin above the edge of the stocking. It made her gasp. He fastened his
lips there and took both hands to the back of her thigh and unhooked the
stocking. He drew it down her leg, his mouth following, open and tonguing, down
her thigh, over her knee, her shin, all the way to her ankle. He took off her
shoe, drew the stocking off her foot and lay it over the back of a chair,
bringing her bare foot to his chest and pressing his thumb under her toes. She
groaned and lifted her hips and he really could see everything, so fucking hot.

He
put the heel of his hand between her legs, just held it there and grunted when
she bucked against it, moaning, trying to get off.

“God,
baby. You think I’d go anywhere else, with anyone else for this. Not ever.”