What We've Become (My Kind Of Country Book 2) (10 page)

Chad stepped closer to her again, his hands on her shoulders to hold her firmly in place. “Katie, it shouldn’t have to be.” His voice was hushed and tender. “I need you to realize...you should be furious with me right now. Hell, you should be grabbing your coat and your son and be storming out of here. Yet, you’re not. You’re standing here with me now, after kissing me back. And you wanted it just as badly as I did.”

She might not have known much about Chad Ashton, but he seemed to know her very well.

CHAD

If silence was truly golden and ignorance was really bliss, it was safe to say that Chad was doing something wrong. While Katie had left the recording studio on good terms with him—he felt he knew her well enough to know if she’d been upset at him for his actions or not—he hadn’t heard a word from her in over two days. The thought plagued him that he’d made a huge mistake by kissing her and letting her know that not a damn thing had changed in regard to his feelings for her—but he didn’t regret it, and that was mostly because he was confident enough that it
hadn’t
been a mistake.

So, what happened? It had been a welcomed surprise when she called asking to see him, and he hadn’t asked why she’d made that call. The reason didn’t matter. Whatever led her to choose to contact him, it was a blessing. When she left, she’d hugged him back, thanking him for giving her and Mason a sneak peek at the life of a recording artist. Mason was jabbering frantically about how cool it all was, and Chad wondered amusedly if the young boy would even be able to stay awake for the car ride home.

He wasn’t sure what he expected after kissing her, and being able to spend some time with her, but two days of utter silence wasn’t it. He kept checking his phone for text messages and missed calls as he ducked in and out of interviews and appearances. His mind played tricks on him, pulling his phone out of his pocket often when he was sure he’d heard the text alert or the ringing of an incoming call. It was driving him crazy, and the urge to call her was beckoning within him in an astoundingly loud voice. He couldn’t push her, though. Kissing her—and then blatantly pointing out her positive response to that kiss—was forward enough. Anything more might drive her away instead of bringing her closer. Emotionally, Katie was so close to him, it was as if she was a part of him—he could feel it. Mentally and physically, however, she might as well have been a million miles away, her uncertainty and distrust erecting concrete walls he would never break down if she didn’t give him the chance. When it came down to it, he could want her and love her all he wanted, but Katie needed to make the decision to come to him; he couldn’t do it for her. He wouldn’t do that to her.

He wouldn’t be like Jay.

How that man managed to treat Katie the way he did and still keep her for himself, Chad would never understand it. While he couldn’t be one hundred percent certain of it, his gut told him that no love lived within that home anymore. Katie had distanced herself from everyone following Jay’s choice to leave her, only to push everyone further away when Chad’s true identity had been revealed in such a cruel and disbelieving way. Now, she held on to the only thing she seemed really sure of: her loveless, but convenient, relationship with the father of her son. It was illogical thinking in Chad’s eyes, but he could see how, after everything she’d been through, Katie found an odd comfort in the low expectations she had of her current relationship. Jay, on the other hand, seemed just as disinterested in truly being with her. To him, their relationship seemed a practical ruse that looked good from the outside, and that made sense, despite the lack of true companionship and the nonexistent connection. To Chad, Jay seemed to want Katie as his own because he should, not because he actually wanted to want her; like he owed her that much after everything he’d put her broken heart through. Despite his dislike of the man, Chad believed that Jay, deep down, must mean well in his reasoning. He hoped, anyway.

However, could he not see that things were getting worse, and not better? They may have once loved each other—Chad couldn’t attest to the validity of that—but now their union seemed volatile and destined for destruction. It was a ticking bomb getting dangerously close to exploding and destroying everything and everyone in its wake. How could Jay and Katie not see that?

Objectivity is the key
, Chad surmised. Well, perhaps Chad’s perspective was somewhat biased, but he still didn’t believe he was wrong in his assumptions. He might be in love with Katie and wanting to do right by her and Mason, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t see what was right in front of him for what it really was.

Did it?

A gentle knock sounded at the door of the office he was camped out in while waiting for his next meeting—his producer for the new album had a few things he wanted to go over—and the interruption saved Chad from having to ponder this question any further. Chad quickly heaved his boot clad feet from the desk, sitting up in alarm at the unexpected company.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear
, Chad thought, his jaw clenching tightly at the sight of Jay, who stood comfortably leaned up against the door jamb, his hand still on the handle.

“I have made some pretty big mistakes, Chad.” Jay didn’t look angry or agitated as he spoke, but his finger tapped rhythmically against the door frame, giving away his inner tension.

“We all have, I suppose. That’s life...” Chad covered his confusion with a fake grin. “...and that’s what country songs are spawned from.”

Jay didn’t seem to hear his joke. “One of my biggest mistakes was taking her to your single release party.”

It irked Chad that he didn’t even have the decency to say Katie’s name. “Well, I would beg to differ, but I could see how you would see it that way. It was a bold move, Jay. And a confusing one, for that matter.”

“Like I said, it was a mistake. And as for mistakes, I’d like to request that you leave her and my son alone.”

Again, he didn’t use Katie’s name, and Chad bit back the urge to snap at him for it. Chad had more important things floating through his mind.

Does he know I kissed Katie?
The thought resonated through him, and he finally decided that Jay couldn’t possibly know or he would have jumped over the desk between them by now and fought to recover the pride that had gotten him into this mess in the first place. “We’re friends, Jay.” He would make no promise to stay away; there was no use making a promise he knew he could never keep.

“Funny, that’s the same rehearsed answer she keeps giving me.”

“It’s not rehearsed; it’s the truth.
Katie
and I are friends, despite what you might be thinking.”

Jay scoffed, shaking his head in protest. “I’m not blind, and, frankly, I don’t blame you. All I’m asking is that you don’t ruin this chance for her to start over.”

Chad arched an eyebrow at his insinuation. “I would never ruin anything for Katie. Don’t blame me for your faults, Jay.” Chad stood, deciding this conversation needed to end soon, before it turned into something neither of them wanted within the halls of Mercury Records.

Jay stiffened, his tone growing terse and impatient. “You’ll ruin everything, Chad. It pains me to admit it, but
you
have the ability to ruin everything for us, and I hate you for that.” Jay’s frigid glare pierced Chad’s gaze. “I know I’m to blame for much of what led us here to this moment, but, damn it, if there is any time I’d like you to hear me out, it would be right now. Just leave them alone and let me have my family back.”

Chad didn’t move. He couldn’t. Shock paralyzed him, though he struggled to maintain his outward composure. Jay saw him as a threat, admittedly hated him, and was asking him to back down and let him have another chance at being a family. Politely enough, even. Chad never thought he would ever have an ounce of respect for the man that stood before him, but he did.

“I can’t let you have something back that I don’t have in my possession to give you. Katie is not mine, but you and I both know she’s not yours, either. Your comments and suggestions have been duly noted, Jay, but I’d recommend that you question your own motives in all this and decide who is really putting Katie’s chance at starting over in jeopardy. You can close the door behind you.”

Jay stared incredulously at him, obviously wanting to retaliate in some way. Chad’s cell phone rang shrilly on the desk between them, breaking the tension, thick as fog between them. He dropped his gaze to the caller display, seeing Barry’s name flashing on it. He picked it up and let his thumb hover over the answer button, glaring expectantly at Jay.

“You have a good day, Mr.
Ashton
. It’s been a pleasure, as usual.” The door clicked shut behind him and Chad let out a breath of relief. He let the call go to voicemail. Barry would recognize the uneasiness in his voice, and he didn’t feel he could ever explain that he had just been advised to stay away from the one person he would give anything to hear from, yet hadn’t heard from in two full days. He hadn’t promised to keep his distance from Katie, but so far he had to say he was doing a pretty good job at doing as he was told.

KATIE

Katie heard the door squeak open as Jay entered the apartment, which was surprising considering the whoops and cheering coming from the living room. Mason and Bobby were competing against each other in their racecars via the video game console, bobbing and weaving their shoulders and sidestepping as they moved in time with the movements on the television screen. His mumbled greeting was incomprehensible from Katie’s vantage point, but as she folded the rest of Mason’s laundry and tucked each item neatly into his dresser drawers, she could already tell Jay was not in a good mood. She listened as he roughly kicked his shoes off at the door, made his way to the kitchen counter where he slammed his briefcase down, and stomped his way down the hallway, stopping briefly at each doorway.

“I’m in here,” she called apprehensively, knowing he obviously must be looking for her. She tucked the last few shirts into the bottom drawer and slid it closed, breathing a steadying breath. Tension was radiating from Jay’s impending presence, and she needed to steel herself from whatever storm of anger was headed her way.

He stopped abruptly in the doorway, both hands clutching the side of the doorframe. “It’s time to talk about this.”

“About what?” She glanced past him but couldn’t see the boys. Their laughter and witty banter was still going strong, and Katie was relieved they weren’t paying any attention.

“You know what I’m referring to. Him. Chad.” Jay spat his name out in disgust.

“What’s he done wrong now, according to you?” She wasn’t in the mood for this again. Obviously, neither was he.

“Why did you wait to tell me about you and Mason going to visit him? Why did Mason have to be the one to tell me?”

Katie crinkled her forehead disbelievingly. “Jay, you’re making it sound like I had the intention of purposely hiding it from you, which I didn’t. Mason was excited, he had just been to a recording studio, seen and done some cool stuff he’d never been privy to before. You were barely in the door and the words were already spilling from his mouth. You know that.”

“Would you have told me yourself if he hadn’t?” Jay’s eyes were wild with anger and jealousy.

“Are you seriously asking me that? Of course I would have!” She hissed her response in an attempt to keep her voice down. “Mason has a friend over, can we not hash this out—” She reached out to put her hand on the door, wanting to block their heated voices from reaching the boys in the living room, but Jay shoved her hand away, making her flinch. He turned around, taking long strides down the hall.

“Mason, it’s time for Bobby to go home.”

Katie began to protest, taking a few steps down the hall, but Jay turned and locked his gaze on her—the menacing look in his cold eyes stopped her in her tracks. Jay’s request was met by protests from his son as well, and both boys were wide-eyed in wonder of what was happening.

“Mase, Bobby has to go home now. Do me a favor and go with him for a few minutes, okay? I need to talk to your Mom about something.”

Katie stood there in silence as the boys saved their game progress and exited the apartment, bewilderment outlining their young faces. At least Katie wasn’t the only one wondering what the hell was going on.

“Jay, you need to tell me—”

“No, you need to tell me why I’m so convinced I can’t trust you to be in the same vicinity as Chad Kirkwood.”

Katie crossed her arms. “That is unfair and you know it. Whether or not you trust me with him really has nothing to do with me, now does it?”

“It has everything to do with you. You took my son to see him the moment I walked out that door to head to work!”

She arched a brow. “You’re being a little dramatic. We’re friends, Jay, and friends hang out and have coffee—”

“That’s all it was, Katie? Friends just hanging out? Be honest with me. Hell, be honest with yourself!”

She pressed her lips firmly together, choosing to ignore the question. “We are friends, and I have no one else here to—”

“Then go
find
friends, Katie!” he exclaimed. “Go out and meet other people who aren’t Chad goddamn Kirkwood! Put a little effort into making this your home!”

“This is not my home!” she fired back. Once her breathing leveled out, she cocked her head to the side. “Have you talked to Liz lately?”