What We've Become (My Kind Of Country Book 2) (13 page)

“If you only knew how beautiful you—” He was quickly cut off as Katie pushed him back, struggling to sit up. For a moment, he worried he had gone too far too soon, and she was retreating from him, but something much stronger than worry filled within him as he watched her pull the t-shirt—
his
t-shirt—over her head, revealing her olive skin and simple black bra with pink stitching. His gaze passed over the tan lines along her shoulders and chest—lines he had thought about seeing beyond many times before—and he exhaled a steadying breath. “Katie, you are—”

She leaned forward and kissed him again, her hands outlining the edge of his belt before pulling him back on top of her by his belt buckle. Chad fell forward onto one hand again, trailing his other gently across the band of her bra. He broke the kiss, but made no movement to back away. “Katie, if we do this—”

She shushed him, her eyes locking with his as her fingers fumbled blindly to undo his belt. “It’s okay.”

“We can’t go back—”

She brought a hand up between them and pressed her finger gently against his lips. “There is no consequence to me loving you. And if there is, to hell with whatever it is.” She slowly removed her finger from his mouth, replacing it with a sultry kiss. Chad kissed her back, letting his desire fuel his body. He pulled her legs around his hips, silently instructing her to hold onto him. Effortlessly, he lifted her from the couch, her limbs clutched around him. At the doorway to the bedroom, he stopped, pushing her up against the door jamb to kiss her more feverishly, a swell of satisfaction rising in him at the muted whimpers escaping her throat as he kissed down her neck, his tongue dipping into the hollow at the base of her throat.

“Chad...”

Her voice was riddled with hunger and need. There was no question in her statement, just his name on her tongue and a longing to have him.
To hell with the consequences, indeed
, was his last practical thought before he pushed away from the doorframe and carried her into the bedroom, kicking the door closed unceremoniously behind him.

KATIE

The bedroom was still shrouded in grays and darkened corners when Katie reluctantly opened her eyes. Bright light peeked out from the sides of the window blinds, drawn down as far as they would go to block out the day. She didn’t remember Chad pulling them closed last night.
He must keep them closed all the time
, she thought. Though there were no memories of Chad drawing the blinds, Katie recalled many other things he had said and done within the darkness of the room, and heat flushed high in her cheeks as the vivid memories flashed like snapshots inside her mind. Her head felt fuzzy, thick with sleep deprivation, but those images still managed to seep through to her consciousness. A soft groan escaped her lips as she attempted to roll her tired body onto its side. A deep inhale of breath sounded loudly beside her in the darkness, and Chad’s hand snaked under the covers across her stomach, pulling her back against him.

“You’re not running already, are you?” His voice was deep and sleepy, barely on the edge of wakefulness. His breath was warm against the nape of her neck, and Katie relaxed back into him.

“Running? What makes you think I’m running?” She turned over to face him, his squinting eyes and tousled hair visible in the dim lighting.

Chad breathed deeply again, and the sound of rustling covers sounded loud in the silence of the room. “I’ve laid here most of the night wondering if you would wake up this morning and change your mind again.”

Katie pulled on the comforter, tucking it under her arm to cover her bare skin. She nuzzled in closer, and the feeling of his fingers on her hip caused her to sigh. “Only most of the night?” She bit back her amusement.

“Yeah, the rest of the night was spent...well...I didn’t dream it, right?”

Katie chuckled, brushing her hair from her face. “It wasn’t a dream, I can assure you of that. It did kind of seem like it, though. To me, anyway.”

His smug grin of pride was visible, even in the muted light. “So, it wasn’t a dream and I didn’t wake up to find you gone—so far, so good.”

“You have low expectations of me, I see.”

Chad reached around behind her and pulled her closer against him, kissing her forehead softly. “Not at all.” His eyes locked on hers. “But I need to know if you regret it. Even a little bit.”

His sudden serious tone caught her off guard. He obviously wasn’t as sleepy as she had initially thought. “Not at all. Not even a little bit.” The corner of her mouth twitched upward. “The only regret I have is not letting myself love you sooner.”

He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly, a feather light caress on her lips. “Don’t have regrets, Katie,” he whispered. “We’ve got all the time in the world to make up for the time we lost.” He slid his arm in under her pillow, and she tucked her head into the crook of his arm, taking in his scent, a woodsy cologne, tainted with hints of the love they’d made the night before.

“I want you to sing that song to me. The one you wrote about me.”

A glimmer of mischief glinted in Chad’s eyes, and he smiled. “Someday.” His gaze followed along as his fingers grazed her skin, then glanced upward to meet hers. “But today is not that day.”

She giggled, knowing full well he would refuse. “You seem to have an answer for everything, Mr. Kirkwood.” A sigh emitted from her throat. “Any insight into what I should tell Mason, then? He’s the one I am worried about in all this.”

Chad brought his hand up and stroked the side of Katie’s face with his fingertips, idly pushing a stray strand of hair behind her ears. “Mason is a kid, Katie, but I think he understands more than you think he does. It’s not like he can’t see that you and Jay are not happy with each other. He is wise beyond his years, and observant, almost to a fault. Hell, if you asked him, I wouldn’t doubt he would tell you to walk away from Jay.” He paused, rethinking his choice of words. “Well, maybe not, but I think Mason would rather you both be happy than have to live the way you all are now. My opinion in all this is biased, I know that, but I just think it would be better for all involved, even if I wasn’t in the picture.”

She nodded her understanding against his shoulder, closing her eyes as she soaked in the caress of his fingers within her hair. “But you are in the picture, and like you said last night, there are consequences to every decision. It’s not like I can just walk away from Jay and start dating you. He is Mason’s father, and Jay is going to want him to be here. I don’t even have a place in Nashville, and I have the farm to look after, and there’s—”

“Whoa, Katie. Slow down, okay?” Chad tilted her chin to face him, and he could feel her chest beginning to heave as her anxiousness converted to fear of all the questions and uncertainties she was left with in the wake of last night’s decision. “I’m going to ask you again. Do you regret it?”

Her bottom lip quivered slightly, but Katie shook her head. “I don’t.”

“Okay, then we will work it out.” He brushed his hand against her cheek again, and Katie curled herself around him, her panic subsided for the time being.

“There is just so much to think about.”

He nodded against the top of her head. “There is, but it’s not right—or healthy, for that matter—to stay with someone just because it’s easier.”

She exhaled loudly, the tension easing in her shoulders and neck. “I don’t even know what to do next, to be honest.”

He traced a line with his fingertip down her arm, and he idly wondered if he would ever get used to having her with him, so close to him, so intimately. Her head was rested comfortably on his arm. “Well, if you could do anything—without having to think about anyone else’s well-being, I mean—what would you want to do?”

The answer passed her lips before she had time to even think about it. “I would go back to being a nurse. I was good at my job and I liked it.”

Chad held his hand over his heart and feigned shock. “Wow, I just can’t believe you didn’t say you wanted to run the farm full-time.”

Katie reared her head back and looked at his mocking expression skeptically. “What? You didn’t know me when I was a nurse, and, well, farming would not be my first choice.”

“Again, what a shocker.” Chad laughed, planting a kiss on her temple in apology. “I’m sorry, Katie, but a blind person would be able to tell that you never truly loved working at the farm. You were good at it, yes, and I know you have your reasons, but your heart just wasn’t in it, even if you wanted it to be. You can’t force something like that.”

“I never realized it was that obvious.”

“Your body language spoke volumes. I’ve watched you enough to learn what it all meant.”

“You sound like a stalker,” she smirked.

He shrugged it off. “Whatever it takes.” He was still grinning when his mouth landed on hers. They were both breathless when Katie pulled away.

“I need coffee.” She kissed his forehead before sliding away from him and swinging her legs off the edge of the bed. She held the covers tightly to her body.

“Some things will never change. I’ll make some, Katie. You can stay here if you would like.” Chad sat up, dragging his legs out over his side of the bed, and Katie stole a glance behind her to admire him, the muscles in his back highlighted by the shadows about the room. She turned away in an attempt to squelch the wave of wanting that bubbled to the surface of her skin.

“If we’re going to talk about such serious topics, I need to make sure you make the coffee good and strong.” She pulled on her bra and panties, turning to find Chad watching her hungrily. A knowing blush rose high into her face and she turned away again, her eyes locked on the floor in search of her clothes.

“You’re going to monitor me while I make coffee. What are you, the caffeine police?” His voice was closer than expected, and she turned abruptly to face his bare chest. She glanced upward, prepared to jokingly defy him. Instead, he ducked his head toward her ear and whispered, “Your shirt is on the living room floor, in case you forgot how it got there.” Blushing fifteen shades of crimson, she watched in silence as he, his bare torso, and his smug expression slipped past her, his hand brushing her abdomen affectionately as he went, and he disappeared out the bedroom door, leaving it opened behind him.

Instead of having to pass Chad’s cognizant gaze in order to get the t-shirt from the living room floor, Katie chose to duck into the bathroom attached to his bedroom and retrieve her own shirt instead, still hanging on one of the hooks behind the door where she’d left it after her shower the night before. She stole a few moments to splash water on her face and run her fingers through her hair, staring at her own reflection in distaste. Lack of sleep had never looked good on her, and her puffy eyes and sallow complexion confirmed it. She thought about sifting through the drawers and cupboards in the vanity to search for mouthwash, but decided against it in the end. It would just taint the delectable taste of her coffee.

She emerged from the bathroom to find Chad puttering around the kitchen, two matching mugs already set out with spoons, cream, and sugar beside them on the counter. He must have noticed her out of the corner of his eye because he snapped his fingers and quickly pulled the coffee pot from its base, only partially full, and began to fill one of the mugs for her.

“You could have waited until it was finished brewing, you know.” She smiled graciously as she took the mug from him.

“True, but being the coffee connoisseur that you are, I wouldn’t want you to have to wait for it and, besides, there’s a thirty-second timer on that machine just for such an occasion.” He offered her a playful wink and pushed the coffee pot back into place. The steady stream of brewed coffee dripped into it, picking up where it had left off in the brewing process. “The coffee is stronger that way, anyway. You know, so we can discuss serious matters.”

“Are you making fun of me?” Katie pressed her lips into a tight line to hide her amusement, but Chad just winked again.

“You just drink up. You’ll be more receptive to my charm once the caffeine hits your bloodstream.”

Katie’s eyes widened, and she choked mid swallow, laughter bubbling unexpectedly. “Oh, charm. Is that what it is?”

Chad rounded the corner of the counter and hugged her close to him. “I don’t know, what is it, Katie?”

She held the mug out away from them so as not to spill it, looking up to meet his eyes. A million sarcastic, laughable answers came to her, but instead she chose the truth. “You can call it what you want. I call it love.”

She watched as Chad’s eyes glinted, making her break out in an even bigger grin. “Is that so?” He lowered his face to hers and kissed her. “I just want you to know,” he brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. “I understand that Mason is your number one priority, and I’m okay with that. He should be. But I also want you to know that I won’t let him get hurt in all this. He’s a child, not a pawn. No matter what, we’ll do what’s best for him, okay? I won’t let him get hurt, and I mean that.”

Katie stared at him in awe. After everything she’d put him through, everything they had needlessly gone through, he still understood. Chad Kirkwood was the man she was supposed to be with, the one she was meant to build a life with. This was where she was supposed to be, in his arms; she could see that now.

“Yeah, I would definitely call this love,” she whispered, kissing him again.