What We've Become (My Kind Of Country Book 2) (14 page)

***

Even after her long talk with Chad over coffee and breakfast—and his continuous insistence that everything would sort itself out as long as she followed her intuition—Katie still trembled terribly as she drove toward Jay’s apartment. She had finally made a decision for herself, and that decision was Chad Kirkwood. Unfortunately, even as exciting and appealing as that decision was for her, there were still the consequences of that decision to deal with now. She could no longer live a lie. She knew things would never work out with Jay, and selfishly, she hoped that she was right in her belief that, deep down, Jay was fed up with it, too, so at least she wouldn’t feel like she was the sole reason they’d finally parted ways. She would talk to Jay first, hopefully calmly and maturely like she rehearsed in her head, and then they would both sit down and speak with Mason. She prayed Chad was right, that Mason would welcome the permanent split as a better result than living as they had for the last few months. As long as their son understood that she and Jay were not giving up on being his parents, they could build on that. She’d rehearsed some of the things she wanted to say to him while in the car, too, but doubted she would remember what those wise words were when the time came.

Katie took one last glance in the overhead mirror, wishing that her reflection did not reflect the long, sleep-lacking night she’d truly had. She didn’t regret any of it, but she sure wished she wasn’t wearing such an obvious label that announced it. Reluctantly, she headed for the building. There was no use putting off the inevitable.

She turned the key in the lock slowly, not wanting to announce her re-entry any louder than she had to. The door creaked open and she stepped inside, half expecting to see her luggage bags packed and by the door. Nothing was sitting there, however. At least nothing blatantly obvious to announce anyone’s knowledge of her recent actions. She closed the door behind her, letting out a slow exhale. She let the silence sink in around her, trying to calm her jittery nerves and clear her mind. When she turned around again, Jay was standing there at the end of the short hallway. She jumped at the sight of him, her hand immediately covering the spot where her heart was beating wildly out of her chest.

“Christ, Jay! You scared me.”

“If you’re going to come in, then come in. Stop trying to remain quiet.” He turned around and disappeared back around the corner. “There’s only you and I here, anyway.”

She slipped off her shoes and followed him, leaving her purse by the door. “Where is Mason? You said—”

“I know what I said, Katie. He is fine. He’s just at Julia’s for a little bit.” Jay held his hands up, scowling. “Don’t worry, he has only been there for about an hour. I was with him the entire evening and night while you were...” He made a dismissive gesture with his hand and turned away from her again. By the looks of the dining room table, he had been camped out there a while, his half-filled coffee cup plunked down beside a pile of newspapers, his cell phone, and a plate with the crusts of his toast left over.

Katie crossed her arms self-consciously in front of her. “About last night, Jay. If Mason isn’t here, we need to talk about—”

“Oh, Katie, you have no idea.” Jay leaned across the table and pulled one of the newspapers from the middle of the pile. She watched in confusion as he flipped through a few of the pages and then splayed the paper out on the table, stepping away from it. He gestured her to take a look, his face distorted in anger and disappointment.

Katie took a few steps toward the table. What stared back at her on the page both appalled and frightened her, and she could feel the blood draining from her face as she took in the article and accompanying picture. The full color picture on the front page of the entertainment section of the newspaper depicted Chad and Katie in what looked very much like a lover’s embrace, just the right angle to make it look as though they had no concept of the people passing by them, and like they were making out like a couple of teenagers. While Katie knew that was far from the case, the photograph, and the thousand words it was worth, very clearly made it look like they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other long enough to make it past his apartment door. If the picture wasn’t enough, the article spelled it out, its headline “Ashton’s Mystery Woman” printed in bold font above an article that cited a source close to the couple admitting the woman and Chad Ashton were all over each other, and that she had gone upstairs to his apartment that night, not to be seen again before the newspaper was printed.

“Please tell me this is some kind of joke.” Katie whispered the plea to no one in particular, but she heard Jay scoff behind her.

“So, you couldn’t just be friends after all, I see?” Jay narrowed his eyes, shaking his head at the notion.

“Jay, it was
not
like that. This picture is bogus. I mean—it is real, I was there. This picture makes it look like something it wasn’t, though. He was just giving me a hug. He was just—”

“You’re telling me that you didn’t go there and sleep with him, then? Is that what you’re saying, Katie?” Jay glared at her, waiting for a response. She opened her mouth to answer, closing it again before she could get the words to come out. “Yeah. That’s what I thought. At least you have the decency not to lie about it.”

Tears stung at her eyes, and Katie blinked them back. She grabbed the paper from the dining room table and waved it in his direction, crumpling the picture of the article in the process. “This is not what it looks like! Chad and I—”

“Do you want to know who else saw that picture, Katie?” Jay’s voice was growing louder, and Katie silently prayed he wasn’t saying what she thought he was saying. “Our son. Mason is the one who saw your little make-out session on the front page of the entertainment section first. Mason, Katie!” He slammed his fist down on the table, and coffee splashed over the rim of the mug onto the newspapers below it.

Her heart plummeted, and tears spilled over onto her cheeks. This couldn’t be happening. She and Chad had talked about it all; this wasn’t in the plan. “I never meant—”

“You never what, Katie? You never thought your son would find out? You never thought he would see that in the paper? What about the thousands of other people who got to see your little escapade while they sipped on their coffees this morning and gossiped to their significant others about the woman who’s probably just with Chad Ashton for money, or for her fifteen-minutes of fame?”

Katie shook her head emphatically. “It’s not like that! You know it’s not.”

“You are absolutely right. I know it’s not, but all those reporters, and all the folks reading the damn paper do not have a clue. To them, it is exactly as it looks, and what it looks like, is that you and Chad Ashton are making out, hot and heavy, on the sidewalk in front of his place. What it alludes to is that you went back up to his place and spent the night in his little love shack. So, I’m telling you right now, Katie, no one gives a damn about how it actually is.”

Katie leaned against the table for support, unsure how things had gone so horribly wrong. “Is Mason okay?”

“Oh, now you’re thinking about Mason’s well-being?”

His words stung her like a slap in the face. “Jay, don’t you dare! You know I always put Mason first! Hell, I am always putting everybody first! That’s how we got into this mess!”

Jay snickered, pointing at her. “You got one point right, anyway. This is definitely a mess.” He turned away from her, pacing across the kitchen and then back again. “And Mason seems okay, but I’m sure he wants to talk to you, seeing as I didn’t say much. It’s not up to me to do your damage control.”

“I will talk to him.” She spat her words out, getting fed up with the distasteful looks he was giving her. She wiped the tears from her eyes. “I will explain it to him.”

An angry sneer formed on Jay’s face. “I would love to hear that explanation. The thing is, Katie, there
is
no explaining this away. This is how it is always going to be with him! No matter what you and Chad have surmised during your little love affair, this is how it is always going to be. Your every move is going to be questioned, documented, and embellished. You will be viewed as his little play toy now, not to mention having cameras and reporters in your face everywhere you go, making things look different than how they actually are. There will be no getting away from it.” He reached forward and ripped the newspaper from her hands, causing her to flinch again. “That’s fine if that’s the kind of life you want for yourself, Katie, but you need to ask yourself...is that the kind of life you want for Mason?”

“I would never intentionally hurt my son. Neither would Chad.”

“Maybe not, but if you had seen his face this morning when he saw you in the paper, you would realize that you’re pretty good at it unintentionally.”

“That is
not
fair,” she choked out. “I am not allowed to be happy with someone because it will hurt my son. That is what you’re telling me right now?” Katie squeezed her hands together, her mind reeling.

Jay scoffed again, this time glaring at her with such disgust that even Katie averted her eyes to the floor to avoid his stare. “He is seven. For that reason alone, you might be able to smooth it over with him and make it sound like you did nothing wrong. What I want to know is, what about when he is older, Katie? What about when he is old enough to understand that you walked out of here yesterday, directly into the arms of someone else?”

“You told me to!” She blurted the words out before she had time to think about them, covering her face immediately with her hands.

“Are you seriously blaming me for this?”

“No.” Her sobs made it difficult to speak. “I am not blaming anyone, but do not sit here and make it sound like I did
you
wrong, Jay. You know I didn’t. You and I have been over for a long time, and even you finally admitted it yesterday by giving me an out.”

“I did not give you an out, Katie. I gave you a choice.” He held the newspaper up again, tapping his finger hard against the picture on the page. “And trust me, your choice has been made, loud and clear.”

“
He
is my choice!” She wiped the tears from her face. “And I hate that me loving him has turned into something so wrong according to everyone else. I wasn’t thinking—”

“There is the first smart—and true—thing you’ve said since you walked through that door, Katie. You’re right, you weren’t thinking! That’s the main problem! The other issue is that you chose him over your son, and I’ll be damned if I’ll sit here and tolerate that.”

Katie swallowed the lump that was now restricting her airway, her eyes growing wide as she made eye contact with the man she once thought she loved. “I did not choose anyone over my son, and you know that. I chose him over you. There’s a difference.”

A wicked laugh escaped Jay’s throat, and he shook his head, sending incredulous glances in her direction. “That’s funny, Katie, because I am pretty sure the courts won’t see it that way.”

“The courts?” Katie repeated the words as though they were foreign on her tongue.

“You heard me.”

“You’re planning on taking me to court?” The walls were closing in around her, and the room suddenly felt smaller than ever before. “You have got to be joking.”

“That is your biggest problem, Katie. You’ve never really taken me seriously.”

“Jay, we are not—”

“Do
not
say we!” Jay erupted, his voice loud and hostile. “If you have made your decision, then it looks like mine has been made for me.”

She held up her hands, the tears no longer spilling from her eyes. Instead, a growing fury was smoldering within her, building with each vengeful word he threw at her. “Are you telling me that if I end things with you to be with Chad, you’ll take me to court for custody of our son? Are you seriously doing that to me?”

“Ah, so you are listening to me, after all.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

He glanced down at the newspaper again, turning it so she could see the picture once more. “You might be okay with subjecting Mason to this kind of life, Katie, but I sure as hell am not. This kind of pictorial evidence will go far in helping my case as well.”

Katie felt sick, her stomach churning incessantly. “Jay, don’t do this. We can’t put Mason through that kind of turmoil.”

Jay rolled his eyes. “But you think you can put him through this and it’s okay?” He tossed the newspaper at her, and she watched it fall in a crumpled heap on the floor. “I’m through playing these games, Katie.”

“You were fine with it when you left me—and him—to be with Liz.” The words were meant to sting, but she watched Jay’s face transform into one of vacant amusement.

“No one had her and I plastered on the pages of the newspaper, Katie. No one even knew about us, not even you and Chad.”

In that moment, Katie hated him. She hated Jay for the cocky, narcissistic manner he was discussing his infidelity in. She hated him for threatening to have her son taken away by the courts because she could no longer put up with the ruse of a relationship with him anymore. “I don’t even know who you are anymore, Jay.”

“People do crazy things when their back is up against a wall. You brought it on yourself, I’m afraid.”

“I’m his mother! The courts won’t take him from me.”

Jay averted his eyes toward the crumpled newspaper once more. “You sure you want to take that chance?”