What We've Become (My Kind Of Country Book 2) (15 page)

Her mind was racing, an abundance of thoughts flowing rapidly through her mind in quick succession. The seconds ticked by. She lifted her gaze up from the floor when she realized there was only one thing she hadn’t yet questioned him about. “What if I don’t?”

“Don’t what?”

“You said if I leave you to be with Chad, you’ll take me to court for custody of Mason. What will you do if I decide against it? What if I stay?”

He sneered. “I’m not a hypocrite, Katie. I can get past the fact that you slept with him, just like you had to when I cheated on you.”

“I did not cheat—”

He held his finger up to silence her. “Like I said, I can look away from all that. We all make mistakes, Katie.”

“You didn’t answer my question. What if I stay?” Her nerves were humming with apprehension. Jay’s sudden angry grin caused her to feel nauseous again.

“Then you would have a choice to make, and this time there would be no turning back from it.” She didn’t like the sound of that. Not one bit.

CHAD

Chad couldn’t seem to wipe the grin from his face as he tidied up his apartment that morning. He found his t-shirt tossed onto the floor of his living room and picked it up, reminding himself of the bashful yet beautiful look Katie had worn when she’d removed it so ceremoniously the night before.

We’re finally going to be together
, he thought in relief. “Finally.” The word crossed his lips without thinking, but he meant it. Never in a million years had he expected Katie to show up there at his doorstep and finally give in to the attraction and connection they shared. Never had he expected her to decide to stop denying how she felt about him, and never had he believed she would stay the night, allowing him to see her so vulnerable and full of desire in the darkness of the night.

Now, they could move on. Together. No more pushing his feelings aside, and no more holding himself back from being near her. There would be no more pretending and no more hiding. Everything that needed to be said, had been spoken without judgment. There were no more lies, no secrets, and no demands on either of them to be something they weren’t. He wanted nothing more than to have Katie become who she wanted to be; not just a lover or friend, not just a mother. Whoever Katie Wicken wanted to be, he wanted to be there to help her become that woman. It struck him as odd that she was so genuinely sure of how to respond when he asked what she would want to do if she didn’t need to think of anyone else’s well-being in the process, yet she seemed to be so lost on the path that would get her to that goal. He couldn’t fathom what it must be like to not remember who you truly were, so shadowed and erased by the people who should’ve loved you and built you up, so removed from the world still spinning around you.
No more, Katie. Together, we’ll get you back on the path toward a life you’ll love
.

He wanted to despise Jay for it all, to blame him solely for stripping her of her pride, confidence, and desire to live her life. He couldn’t, though. It very well may have never been his intention, even though he’d done things to hurt her and bring her world crashing down around her. Katie had allowed herself to stay within the confinements of the sullen life she’d become accustomed to, if for no other reason than because it was the easiest and safest thing to do. She worried so much about Mason that she failed to allow herself to grow, and failed to see the toxic bubble she had built around them. Jay had failed her many times, but Katie had also failed herself. Chad didn’t want to admit it, but it was true. Now, he felt an inner protectiveness toward her, an obligation to remind her of all that she was missing, and that she didn’t have to wake up each morning with no reason to be content in the life she’d made.

Last night and this morning, with him, within his tiny apartment; it was all just a miniscule glimpse of what it could be like for them. Chad’s mind wandered back to a glimpse of the hours they shared safely hidden within the darkness of his bedroom, with only the faintest hint of moonlight peeking in past the edges of the window blinds, followed by the tender kisses and closeness between them as they breathed easily made promises of the way things would be for them from now on. His last thought was of the words that had fallen so easily from Katie’s lips in the cozy morning light of the kitchen.

I would definitely call this love
.

She seemed so sure, so ready for it.

“Finally.” He repeated the words in a whisper, the corners of his mouth tugging upward once again.

***

He checked his phone for the thousandth time that day, but the display screen still revealed no missed calls or voice messages. The urge to check on her, to send a quick text or call to her, consumed him.
It’s been five hours
. Katie was right, he did sound like a stalker. He wondered if he should be expecting to hear from her so soon, or if he was just being overly zealous with his desire to be near her again.

“I’m going to take that thing away if you don’t stop eyeing it up like it’s about to spontaneously combust.” Barry came back down the narrow staircase into the recording studio, two mugs of coffee clenched tightly in his fists. Chad reluctantly set his phone down on the edge of the switchboard and watched in amusement as Barry’s tall frame walked slowly and steadily toward him, doing everything in his power not to slosh the hot coffee onto the floor.

“Sorry, I don’t even realize I’m doing it, to be honest.” Chad reached out to take one of the mugs from his manager, and Barry exhaled in relief. If it was spilled now, it was not his fault.

“Well, I do. It’s Katie you’re waiting on, am I right?”

Chad raised a skeptical eyebrow toward him. “Since when do we discuss such personal matters when we should be working?”

“Since when have you ever answered me so vaguely? It
must
be Katie,” Barry quipped, setting his mug on the rolling cart beside the control panel. “Well, I hope she calls you soon. You’re driving me nuts.”

“I’ll be sure to let her know that when she calls.”

“Look, it’s not my place to pry—”

“But you’re going to anyway.” Chad smirked, taking a sip from the mug. He pulled his acoustic guitar from the stand beside his chair and began to pluck the strings sequentially, confirming it was in tune.

“I won’t ask any questions, Chad; it’s not my place. I am just a bit worried you’re going to get hurt, I guess.”

“You are worrying too much, old man. Trust me, the worst is over. I appreciate your concern, though.” He strummed a few chords and flashed a witty smile in Barry’s direction.

“If you say so.”

“I do.” Chad laughed, setting the guitar back down. “She showed up at my place last night. It was unexpected, to say the least, but we’ve finally worked everything out.”

A hint of a grin shone crookedly on Barry’s face. “Workin’ things out. Is that what you kids are calling it these days?”

Chad laughed, stretching out to pull the sheet of lyrics he needed from the table by his chair. “Easy, Barry. You’ll give yourself a heart attack just thinking about it.” He handed the sheet over to his manager. “And it’s not like that with us. Anyway, here, look over these. This is the song I want to cut next for the album.”

Barry glanced down at the paper Chad thrust at him, and his eyes immediately flicked back up to meet his. “We’re going to record this one? You sure you want to do that? I mean, you were so adamant that we couldn’t before.”

“Katie thinks I already have.”

Barry rolled his eyes emphatically, but a glint of vibrancy flickered beyond his entertainment. “Well, as long as you’re sure.”

“I am. It’s time.”

***

Thirteen hours
. Chad plucked the phone one last time from his bedside table, even though he knew there was no text message or call from Katie. The clock was winning this game, ticking by the minutes while he perceived each of them as hours. He knew he was just being impatient and selfish, but that didn’t make it any easier on his mind and his body, both yearning for some sign that she was near and she was okay.

Katie needed time, he was well aware of that. There were a lot of things she was dealing with, and some of those things were undoubtedly weighing heavily on her right now. There were so many things she had to consider before everyone involved could finally move forward.

That was fine, he could wait. This was not a race, and it wasn’t a contest he was out to win. This was their life together, and as anxious to begin that as he was, Katie needed him to be amicable to the time she would need to get her head wrapped around all the changes. He felt guilty about that, all the upheaval she would have to tolerate in the wake of her decision to leave Jay, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a tinge of culpability for what Jay would go through now, as well. Within all Jay’s wrongdoings, Chad had to believe that in some messed up and backwards kind of way, he’d just been trying to do what was best for his family. Unfortunately, sometimes not even the best of intentions could fix a scenario that had that much going wrong within it, and Chad didn’t blame himself for that.

He turned off his bedside lamp, checked his phone once more for good measure, and then laid his head down on the pillow where Katie had slept only a matter of hours ago. As the cloudiness of impending sleep took over his mind, his last thought just before he drifted off was that, in a world with so much going wrong, he was damn glad Katie and him had so much going right.

***

Chad stared at his silent cell phone over his coffee cup. His brain was screaming at him that nothing good could come of not hearing from Katie for almost twenty-four hours, but his heart was telling him she was probably overwhelmed with everything, and had just ran out of time and energy to call. The loudness and persistence of his mind seemed to be winning the war, however, and Chad began to worry. With back-to-back meetings filling the hours of his day, he worried he would miss her if, and when, she contacted him. He picked up the cell phone and put it back down three times before he finally willed his finger to form a short text message.

Everything okay?

He hit the send button and spent the next ten minutes staring at the screen again, begging for it to alert him of an incoming message. It remained silent.

At his meeting with the reporter from Country Weekly magazine, Chad waited until the last possible moment to turn the ringer off on his cell phone. Worry had begun to etch his facial features, and the questioning glances from the reporter told him he wasn’t hiding it well.

“Are you all right, Mr. Ashton?” The reporter’s hair was black, cut bluntly at the shoulders, and the striking contrast between her piercing eyes and hair color caused him to think it must be dyed. There was nothing natural about the look she sported, and she seemed far too flamboyant to be perched atop a bar stool at such a small cafe, while the young barista silently refilled their bottomless coffee cups.

“Of course, sorry. I’m a bit distracted, I guess. You were saying?”

She gave him a terse smile. “I was asking about the young lady in your life.” Her gaze bore into his, a snake preparing to strike, the pen in her hand at the ready.

Chad offered her a small chuckle. “I will tell you the same thing I have told other reporters, ma’am. My love life is not nearly as interesting as you all make it out to be, and as soon as I do have something interesting to inform you all of, I can guarantee I will undoubtedly want to keep my private life...well, private. I am sure you understand.”

“So, you’re not admitting to dating anyone at the present time?”

His eyebrow rose slightly. “Admitting to—Ma’am, there’s nothing to admit to.”

The woman remained motionless a few moments, seemed to realize she would get no information from him, and smiled briskly. “I’m sure there will be a lot of pretty ladies out there with broken hearts when you do find love again, Mr. Ashton.”

Chad picked up on her choice of the word
again
, but he refused to take the bait. He would not discuss his failed relationship with Liz, and he sure as hell had no intention of bringing Katie into the gossip-loving world of the media if he could help it. “While I do find that hard to believe, ma’am, maybe they would rather hear more about my upcoming record and less about my nonexistent personal life.” He smirked, hoping she wouldn’t be offended by his standoffish manner.

Thankfully, she laughed. “Nonexistent? Now that, Mr. Ashton, is something I find hard to believe.”

He left the interview a half hour later with a splitting headache and a dislike for journalism, but he had little time to ruminate about either problems. He had a mere fifteen minutes to get all the way across town to meet with his publicist and the group of songwriters he’d been working with to write songs for the album, not to mention that the city was awake and alive now. Cars inched toward their destinations in bumper-to-bumper traffic, while pedestrians scurried in between the vehicles on their way to their jobs and scheduled appointments. He managed to storm through the door of his publicist’s office four minutes late, only to be greeted by a series of long faces.

“I’m sorry, you guys. Traffic was backed up, and the reporter that Country Weekly sent for that interview kept me there until the last possible second.” Chad scanned the room for a chair, saw that all the padded office chairs were taken, so he pulled one of the folding chairs from behind the door and took a seat, choosing to sit backwards on it, resting his elbows on the backrest.