A Hopeful Heart (22 page)

Amanda pushed her long, blond hair back from her shoulder. “I want to buy that GED
book and look at it. I’m afraid I’m
not smart enough to pass the test, but I want to try. I can’t shake this dream of
owning my own vet clinic. I could help animals all day long.”

“I believe you’re smart enough, Amanda.” Hannah smiled. “If that’s what you want to
do, and you feel the Lord is leading you down that path, then you should at least
look into the possibilities.”

Amanda stared down at the veterinary book. “But I don’t know if I’m strong enough
to leave. This is the only life I’ve ever known. Would our family understand?” She
looked up and tears glistened in her eyes. “I want to have my vet clinic, but I don’t
want to lose my family. Would
Mammi
and
Daadi
still love me? Would they come to see my clinic? Would they write me while I’m in
college?”

Hannah reached over and took Amanda’s hand in hers, hoping to ease her tears. “Of
course they would still love you and they would support you. They may not understand
why you want to go to college, but you’re not baptized. They would still treat you
like family. You could open a vet clinic nearby and we’d all visit you. It’s your
decision, Amanda.”

“But since you’re baptized, it wouldn’t be as easy for you if you left.”

Hannah shook her head. “No, it wouldn’t be as easy for me. I could easily lose your
sister, and I don’t think that’s something I can live with.”

Amanda nodded. “I understand. You’re in a much tougher position than I am.”

“That’s very true.”

“You should pray about it.” Amanda squeezed Hannah’s hand. “You should see where God
leads you.”

Hannah studied her daughter’s eyes. “I will. And you should do the same,
mei liewe.
”

She said good night to Amanda and then headed downstairs to her bedroom. She stared
at the ceiling and contemplated her situation while begging God to guide her in her
complicated and heart-wrenching decision.

A
manda’s supportive words echoed through Hannah’s mind while she rode beside Trey in
his car the following morning. She’d spent a good part of the night continuing to
stare at the ceiling while praying and contemplating what to do about her relationship
with Trey. In her heart she knew she loved him, and this relationship was exactly
what her hopeful heart had craved ever since she’d lost Gideon. Yet she’d never expected
a new chance at love to come in the form of a man who wasn’t Amish.

During her prayers, she’d begged God to give her a sign telling her what to do. Was
leaving the church the correct path for her? She was also stunned by the news that
Amanda dreamed of becoming a veterinarian. She’d noticed that Amanda enjoyed talking
with Cameron Wood, the neighbor vet who came to help Andrew when he was hurt. She’d
found Amanda over at Cameron’s house more than once when she was supposed to be doing
chores. Hannah had thought Amanda was just being neighborly. She had never realized
how much Amanda liked to talk to the man. She also wondered if Amanda’s situation
was the sign she needed to illustrate that choosing a different path was okay. Maybe
a new start was just what her heart needed.

But when she considered leaving Lillian, her heart ached. How could she leave the
community when it would hurt her other daughter? The painful distance between Hannah
and Lillian was growing. Lillian had only given Hannah one-word responses to her questions
before Hannah left this morning. She felt her precious daughter slipping away from
her, and it was breaking her heart.

“You’re awfully quiet this morning.” Trey smiled over at her from the driver’s seat.
“Are you doing better today?”

“I am.” Hannah ran her fingers over the seat-belt strap.

“That’s good. I know you went through a lot yesterday.” He steered onto the road leading
to the house. “How’s Lily?”

Hannah nodded. “She’s still not talking to me, but I think she may need a day or two
to sort through her feelings.”

He gave her a quick sideways glance. “I’ve been thinking about your meeting with the
minister and deacon and also your argument with Lily. I’m sorry if I’ve caused trouble
for your family.”

Hannah shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. Being with you was my choice. I believe everything
happens in the Lord’s time.”

“I agree.” He turned into the driveway and steered up to the house. “Here it is. If
all goes well, this will be my new home in only a matter of weeks.” He turned off
the engine and pulled the keys from the ignition. “Let’s go poke around.”

Hannah climbed out and met him at the front of the car. “I still think it’s perfect.
I’m so glad you’re able to buy it.” She scanned the large house. “I love the wraparound
porch. My parents’ house had a porch like that. I always wanted Gideon to expand our
porch, but his parents didn’t like the idea. Since they own the house and the property,
we had to abide by their wishes.”

“You rent the house from Gideon’s parents?” Trey started walking toward the enclosed
pasture, and Hannah fell into step beside him.

“
Ya
, we do. Gideon wanted to buy it from them, but he never got around to applying for
the mortgage.”

“I want to ask you something, but it’s not my business.” Trey stopped and leaned against
the fence.

“You can ask me anything.” She shaded her hand over her eyes to block the bright sun
and looked back toward the house, taking in the large trees filled with chirping birds.

“You said the minister and deacon were trying to lead you back to the fold. Right
now you’re breaking rules by seeing me. Does that mean you have to leave the faith
to be with me?”

“
Ya
, I would have to leave the church.”

“And what would happen then?”

Hannah folded her arms over her chest. “If I were to leave the church, I would be
excommunicated.”

“Is that the same as being shunned?”

“
Ya
, it is.”

“What happens when you’re shunned?” His expression was full of worry.

“When you’re shunned, you can’t do business with anyone who is Amish. No money can
exchange hands. That means I couldn’t rent my house from my in-laws or stay in business
with Joshua. I wouldn’t even be able to shop in an Amish store, so I couldn’t buy
cheese at the deli where Amanda works.”

Trey frowned, and she wondered what he was thinking. The intensity in his handsome
face caused her pulse to race.

She glanced around the property to break away from his stare. “You asked me where
I would plant a garden.” Hannah pointed
toward an area between the house and the fence. “I would plant one there and expand
it all the way to those two big trees. You could grow peas, tomatoes, strawberries,
eggplants, zucchini, raspberries, string beans, lima beans, peppers, cauliflower,
broccoli, onions, asparagus, carrots, and herbs.” She motioned toward the other side
of the large yard. “You could even do potatoes and sweet potatoes too. And if you
really wanted to be ambitious, you could do corn.” She turned to him, and he raised
his eyebrows. “What? You think I’m silly?”

“No, not silly, but ambitious may be the correct word. I would need help to do all
of that work.” He smiled, and her heart fluttered. “Come with me.” He took her hand
and urged her forward. His warm touch made her blood hum fast through her veins as
they walked the length of the pasture together.

“This is beautiful.” Hannah looked up. “Listen to those birds singing to God.” She
looked up at him. “Have you thought more about a name for the bed and breakfast?”

“What do you think of A Slice of Paradise?” He gestured with his free hand. “Isn’t
it a perfect fit for this land? It is a little piece of paradise, isn’t it?”

She nodded. “
Ya
, it is.”

“Especially when you’re with me.” He squeezed her hand, and her heart thumped in her
chest.

They stopped by a small pond surrounded by cement benches.

“I think the previous owner spent a lot of time back here.” He led her to a bench
and they sat together. “This is so soothing. I think after a long day of work, you
could come back here and just sit and think or pray. You would just feel like you’re
surrounded by so much of God’s beauty with the birds and the flowers.” He pointed
toward the rose bushes and tulips. “Isn’t it just perfect?”

“
Ya
, it is. I could stay here all day and forget all of my worries.”

“I know.” Trey cleared his throat. “I need to be honest with you about a few things.”

“Go ahead.”

“I’m in love with you, Hannah. I’ve known it for a while, but it really hit home last
night.” He held both of her hands in his, and his eyes sparkled in the sunlight. “I’ve
been thinking about what happened last night with the deacon and the minister and
also your argument with Lily. I can tell our friendship has caused you a lot of heartache
and stress.”

“Trey, I told you not to blame yourself for this. It’s my choice to spend time with
you.”

“Please,” he began, “let me finish. I’ve wrestled with whether or not I belong in
your life, and I even stopped by the church on the way home and prayed last night.
I asked God to show me a sign that will tell me whether or not our relationship is
a part of his plan for us.” He paused and took a deep breath. “Last night I dreamt
you and I were married here in this garden. And you were going to help me run this
bed and breakfast.”

Hannah gasped. “You dreamt that?”

Trey nodded. “I did, and it felt like the sign. We were happy in the dream. Your children
were here, and they lived in the apartment with us. It was perfect. It was paradise.”
He cleared his throat again. “So, I want to ask you something.”

Her heart thudded in her chest and her eyes filled with tears.

“Hannah, I love you.” He lifted her hands and squeezed them again. “I want to build
a life with you. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I see my future when
I look into your eyes. I believe the Lord brought us together to give us another
chance at happiness. Would you do me the honor of being my wife and making me the
happiest man in the world?”

Hannah gasped. She felt as if the world were spinning out of control right before
her eyes. She looked back toward the house and imagined herself living there, running
the bed and breakfast with Trey, as his wife. The idea warmed her heart, but could
she walk away from the life she’d known and loved since birth?

Memories flashed through her mind as tears flooded her eyes. She remembered running
through the pasture at the house where she grew up. She thought about sitting on her
mother’s lap during church services when she was a little girl. Her memories moved
to the one-room schoolhouse of her childhood and then to the youth group gathering
times she spent with her friends. When her thoughts moved to Gideon, and their courtship
and wedding, the tears streamed down her cheeks.

Her Amish community was where she’d grown up and planned to raise her family. How
could she leave it all behind? And where would this leave Lily? It all seemed too
surreal.

“It’s too soon, isn’t it?” He let her hands fall from his grip. “I’m pushing you too
hard. I shouldn’t have asked yet.”

Hannah took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her warm cheeks. “No, don’t apologize.”
She cleared her throat in an attempt to strengthen her thin voice. “I’m really overwhelmed
right now. I’ve thought about where this relationship could lead, but I never imagined
getting there so quickly.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you.” He shook his head and his frown deepened. “I
should’ve kept my feelings to myself.”

“No.” She touched his arm. “That’s not what I meant. I think of you constantly, and
when we’re apart, I find myself daydreaming about when I might see you again.”

His smile returned. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”

“I want to be with you, but I need some time to think about all of this. By marrying
you, I’ll have to uproot my family. I’ve already told you I can’t stay in my house
if I’m shunned.”

“I understand. And it will be devastating for the children.”

“I’m just so worried because Lily has already threatened to move in with Barbie. She
wants to become the schoolteacher where she’s the assistant now. She also plans to
be baptized, and there’s a boy she hopes to date. My heart breaks when I think of
her moving out. I never thought my family would be broken apart. Losing Gideon was
difficult, but I can’t imagine also being separated from a child.

“Andrew said he would go with me wherever I choose to go. Amanda’s transition would
be much easier than her sister’s. She told me that she wants to get her GED, go to
college, and become a veterinarian.”

“Wow.” Trey smiled. “That’s an amazing dream. How do you feel about it?”

Hannah shrugged. “I would support my children in whatever they want to pursue. I just
wish Lillian would support me and see that I don’t want to lose her.” Her eyes filled
with fresh tears. She looked toward the house again and, to curb her threatening tears,
imagined planting a garden there. She imagined herself helping Trey run the bed and
breakfast. She would be living her dream of cooking and caring for the guests. But
where would that leave Lillian?

“I need some time to think about it.” She looked up at him. “Leaving my community
will be very difficult. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I do.” Trey leaned down and brushed his lips over her
cheek, sending the pit of her stomach into a wild swirl. Her heart rate surged, pounding
fast in her ears.

“I love you, Hannah. I’ll give you all of the time you need.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. She touched her cheek where his lips had been and thanked
God for bringing love back into her hopeful heart.

Trey sat in the hotel’s restaurant Wednesday afternoon and sipped a mug of coffee
while glancing through the paper. Although his eyes scanned the newsprint, his mind
couldn’t focus on the stories. He couldn’t stop worrying about Hannah and praying
for her ever since they’d parted ways yesterday. He wished she were enjoying a cup
of coffee with him as they’d done only a few weeks ago.

When he’d dropped her off at her house, she was close to tears again, talking about
how much she loved her community and how much she would lose if she chose to be with
him. She promised to call him in a few days after considering his proposal. He’d spent
most of last night glancing at his phone and praying he’d find a missed call, even
though he kept the phone close by at all times. He knew it wasn’t logical to expect
her to make such a life-changing decision within twenty-four hours, but he prayed
she would.

He’d hoped to run into her at the hotel today, and he’d even lingered in his room
this morning to see if she would come by while cleaning. Yet he hadn’t seen her at
all, and he worried that something had happened. His mind ran wild with possible tragedies
that had kept her away from him today. What if she’d been hurt in an accident or was
at home with a sick child?

Trey finished his coffee and moved through the restaurant toward the elevators. He
stopped when he spotted one of Hannah’s coworkers coming out of one of the employee
offices. The woman looked to be in her mid-sixties; she had graying hair peeking out
from under her prayer covering. She glanced toward him and smiled, and he felt the
urge to ask her about Hannah.

“Excuse me.” Trey approached the woman. “I was wondering if you’ve seen Hannah Glick
today.”

She shook her head. “No, I haven’t. She’s not in today.”

“Oh.” Trey frowned. “Is she okay? Is one of her children ill?”

The woman tilted her head. “Are you Mr. Peterson?”

“Yes, I am.” He held out his hand and she shook it. “I’m surprised she told you about
me.”

“I’ve heard quite a bit about you. I’m Ruth Ebersol.” She motioned toward the office
she’d just exited. “Come in here for a moment, and we can speak in private.”