A Life That Fits (14 page)

"No, we don't need the notice."

I looked back and forth between them,
surprised. "But I should hand off my projects, shouldn't I?"

Gary shook his head. "We'll take care of
it."

Dana had called me two hours after my
interview to offer me the job, and I'd accepted and then told Anna
and Gary. I hadn't expected them to bawl their eyes out, but they
didn't seem to care at all. I tried again. "I truly don't mind. I
told the new job I needed two weeks so I could finish here."

"Andrea. To be blunt, we are fine." Anna
glanced at Gary, who gave a single nod, then went on. "In fact,
I'll come with you while you gather your personal items and then I
think you should leave."

Her emphasis on 'personal items', as if she
thought I planned to steal files, shocked me. "My new job has
nothing to do with anything I did here, so if you think I'm
poaching customers, you're wrong."

Anna got to her feet. "It's time for you to
go."

Bewildered, I followed her down to my
conference room office, where I packed up my few possessions under
her watchful eye, and then to my original space to check for
anything else. Tina was nowhere to be seen, and neither were any of
my other coworkers. I tried again to talk to Anna but couldn't get
past her cold demeanor.

Once everything was packed, I turned to her.
The urge to just leave, to give up, was huge, but instead I said,
"I'm not sure what's going on. But I want you to know that I always
did my best work for you and I would never do anything to put the
company at risk. I didn't handle my breakup well, and I am sorry
for that, but since then I have been fine. Whatever you think I've
done or will be doing, I promise you you're wrong."

Her eyes narrowed, and I saw confusion in
them along with a strange doubt. Then she shook her head. "I hope
so. Goodbye."

And I found myself on the street outside the
building with no idea what had happened.

I emailed Dana to let her know I could start
tomorrow, then went home and tried to enjoy my unexpected time off
but of course I couldn't. At least my new boss wrote back delighted
to have me on board early, or I'd have wondered if everyone hated
me. I couldn't understand why Anna had been so suspicious of me,
why Gary hadn't even said goodbye and good luck after all the time
I'd worked for them, why none of my coworkers had been around.

At least, I didn't understand until the next
morning. Wendy and I had agreed to have coffee together before my
first day, and though I was a bit early she was already in the
coffee shop looking uncomfortable.

"Hey," I said as I walked up to her, and she
jumped as if she'd been caught doing something terrible.

"Hi." She pushed out a chair for me and I sat
down, worried.

She sighed. "I really wish I hadn't gotten
here early."

"I'm sorry, I should have been earlier myself
so you didn't have to wait."

She gave me a quizzical look. "That doesn't
even make sense. And it's not about you. Well, it is, but it's not
because
of you."

"And you say I don't make sense. What's going
on?"

"Get a drink first. You'll need one."

Has anything good ever followed such a
pronouncement? "Okay. Need anything?"

She shook her head, so I went to fetch myself
a tea. When I got back, she said, "I think there's no point in
telling you what I was going to tell you. It's moot. So. Excited
about today?"

"I was until I walked in and saw my new
coworker looking like she'd been sucking a lemon. Come on, tell
me."

She sighed again. "I was waiting in line
behind two women talking about someone who quit yesterday."

She knew Tina so she wouldn't have referred
to 'women' if one had been her. "What did they look like?"

"A big blonde and a tiny Asian woman."

My former boss and her management buddy
Kathy. "I know them. The blonde's Anna."

She shook her head. "I figured."

"What did they say?"

"They didn't mention you by name, but Anna
said the person who'd left had been great for years but then just
fell apart. She was actually about to fire this person before she
quit. Apparently she, you, pretended to be okay but your coworkers
told a different story. They said you were constantly talking about
changing yourself and doing weird things to make it happen, never
sticking to a decision, and even running away from people at social
events. Anna told the other woman that she couldn't risk having you
at conferences."

"My coworkers? But I was fine with them. And
I didn't go to any social events except with--" The truth hit me,
and I stared at her, shocked. "Tina. She lied about me?"

Her eyes sympathetic, she said, "I think
so."

"I did talk about changing but not all the
time, and I wasn't doing anything weird. I was just trying to do
the opposite of what I usually did, to shake things up. And
she
ran away from me at a play because she went after some
guy." I shut my eyes as I remembered. "She told me a few times I
should quit, that they didn't appreciate me like they should." I
looked at Wendy and gave a choked laugh. "I thought she was being
nice."

Thankfully, she didn't treat me like an idiot
for believing Tina. "She was pretty convincing, from what little I
saw of her. But yeah, she was after your job. She
has
your
job. All the conferences are hers from now on."

I dropped my head into my hands. "I can't
believe I fell for that."

She gave me an awkward pat on the shoulder.
"You thought you were friends. Of course you trusted her. You
should have, that's what friends do. It's her fault for being a
bitch."

I hadn't always trusted her, though. I'd been
suspicious of her at the beginning, but I'd made myself move past
it, convinced myself I had misjudged her. I hadn't, though. If I'd
listened to my intuition I would probably still have left
DataSource, since talking to Dana had made it clear I'd grown bored
with my work, but it would have been on my terms, not with my
bosses thinking I'd lost my mind.

"I did want a change, but now I feel like I
was
forced
into it instead of making the decision myself.
Just like when my boyfriend left me. Back in May. We'd been
together a long time." I took a sip of my coffee to try to loosen
my suddenly tight throat. "Tina used that against me. She was so
sympathetic when we talked about it, pretended to understand why it
made me want to make changes, and then she smacked me around with
it."

"I'll smack her around myself if she comes
by."

I surprised myself by giggling. "I bet we
could sell tickets to that."

"Two hits, my friend. Me hitting her and her
hitting the floor."

"Cheap tickets then."

We grinned at each other, recognizing we had
moved up a level in our friendship, then I sighed. "This is so not
the mood I wanted to be in to start my new job."

"I should have told you later. Or not at
all."

I shook my head. "No, it's good. I might have
called Tina to tell her how the day went and I'd feel even stupider
later for having done it. Thank you for telling me." I took a deep
breath and tried to pull myself together. "Shall we go to
work?"

*****

"Hardly anyone's here yet," Wendy said
unnecessarily as we passed the empty cubicles. "We have a meeting
at nine-thirty every Wednesday and Dana looks the other way if
people don't show up until then."

"What time do they come in the other
days?"

"Between eight-thirty and nine. Loren's here
at eight-thirty."

"He's the one I'll be working with mostly,
yes?"

She nodded. "He's sweet. Cute, too."

I smiled and didn't bother saying that didn't
matter in the slightest since I had no intention of dating him.

Once we'd finished the tour, she took me to
Dana's office and left me there to sign forms and documents and
banking directives while Dana talked my ear off about everything
I'd be responsible for and how much work needed to be done.

I felt queasier the longer she went on;
during my interview it had seemed like I'd be doing the in-depth
data analysis but she was mostly describing the grunt work of
getting the data together and cleaned up, the stuff I hadn't had to
do at DataSource because we'd kept lower-level staff for that. Once
I had my forms signed, I said, "What about the full-on
analysis?"

"Loren has it covered. If he's feeling
overwhelmed he can pass some along to you."

"So, he's my boss?"

She shook her head. "I am. But he's been here
a long time and he gets to work on whatever he wants."

Lovely.

This wasn't at all what I'd wanted, but I had
no chance of returning to my previous job since Tina had lied so
thoroughly. I'd have to make the best of things here.

We talked a while longer, then Dana glanced
at her computer's clock. "Time for the weekly meeting.
Unofficially, you don't have to get in before nine-thirty on
Wednesdays."

I nodded. "Wendy told me."

"She's a good kid. We're lucky to have
her."

I smiled. True, I was sure, but such a
difference from how my former boss was talking about me these
days.

As we approached the conference room I could
hear the staff chatting, and a little of my tension eased. They
sounded genuinely comfortable with each other, in a way I'd never
heard at DataSource, so maybe they'd be comfortable with me too and
I'd be able to fit in.

Dana stepped into the room. "Better stop
talking about me, I'm here now."

Unfortunately, she stopped just inside the
door so I couldn't get in, and also couldn't see who said, "We
weren't talking about you. You're not that interesting."

Everyone laughed, including Dana, then she
said, "Mental note, fire Jay at earliest opportunity," and moved
forward.

I followed, and she looked back and said,
"Sorry, Andrea, was I in your way? Everyone, this is Andrea. She'll
be working with Loren. That's him at the end of the table."

I turned in the direction she was pointing
and found myself looking into aquamarine eyes.

Surprise flickered through me, and he
blinked, clearly also recognizing me from Cats and our eye contact
in the subway station. "Welcome, Andrea. Nice to meet you."

"You too." Loren. Mister Eyes. Small
world.

Dana introduced me to the other four staff
members then said, "And you already know Wendy, of course."

My friend grinned. "Come sit with me so I can
protect you from your new boss."

I did, smiling, and Dana gave a snort and
said, "It'll take more than that."

The meeting lasted about an hour, and my mood
somehow managed to go up and down at once. Up because everyone
seemed friendly and committed to their jobs, down because the work
I'd be doing so didn't interest me. I thought sadly of the
gloriously complicated work I'd had at DataSource, the depth of the
puzzles I'd needed to solve to make everything work out, and though
I kept a happy smile on my face inside I was raging at Tina for
taking that from me.

Guilt tainted the pure rage I wanted to feel,
though. She hadn't taken it. Yes, she'd lied about me and that
certainly hadn't done me any favors. But I had quit on my own. I'd
decided I didn't want to be there any more.

Oh, how I regretted that now.

When the meeting finished, I went with Loren
to his cubicle across the aisle from mine, and he helped me set up
my access to the various computer systems I'd need then began
walking me through the current projects, all of which promised
varying degrees of tedium.

"I know it's a lot of grunt work, and I'm
sorry."

He seemed sincere, and I looked into his eyes
and said, "Thanks. I'm obviously willing to pull my weight,
though." Did he wear tinted contact lenses? I couldn't see those
little telltale lines around his irises, but I'd never seen such a
pure clear eye color before and couldn't quite believe it was
real.

"I'm glad. I need the help."

That had become obvious as he showed me the
huge collection of projects left undone. I could tell that he
worked hard and had done everything humanly possible to keep up,
but one person couldn't do all that work alone no matter how many
late nights and lunch hours he devoted to his job.

At ten to twelve, Loren's cell phone alarm
went off and he said, "Time for lunch. I'll be around in the
afternoon if you need anything, okay?"

And he was gone before I could respond.

Weird. A guy who seemed so hard-working had
an alarm set so he wouldn't miss lunch? Diabetic, maybe? Or on some
really strict diet plan? He
was
a little overweight,
although he carried it well.

Wendy and I had agreed to meet in her cubicle
at quarter past twelve to go eat together, so I played around with
the computer systems to get myself acclimatized then headed to meet
her with every intention of asking why Loren had such a fixed
schedule.

When I reached her, though, she was on the
phone, and clearly with the brother-in-law who'd been so nasty to
her before. From the sound of it, he hadn't changed.

"No, Henry, I--I think we're busy that day.
What? Oh, you did? Well, again, I don't--no, I won't. Henry. Henry.
Henry!
I have to go. Yes, work. No. Bye."

She hung up and tapped herself between the
eyes. "Put the bullet right here, okay?"

I smiled. "Wouldn't shooting
him
be
better?"

"Oh, don't tempt me." She picked up her
purse. "Could we have lunch without discussing any member of the
male gender? I've about had it with them."

I'd save my Loren-related question for
another time. "Sure."

I worked hard getting to know my new job and
coworkers, and played with the orchestra and went to my dance class
and hosted my first crochet group, so I was busy over the next
week, but my real accomplishment was reorganizing the bookshelves
in the living room. I'd left them alone, even after deciding I
didn't want Alex back, and though I had deliberately not given them
much thought I knew why I hadn't changed them: filling in the most
visible gaps he'd left in my life felt awfully final.