A Life That Fits (18 page)

*****

On my way to the park I sent Loren a text
message to let him know I was going to search. He wrote back
immediately.

Thank you. He's tall, skinny, white hair. Blue plaid
shirt, jeans, running shoes. His name's Martin. Thanks for the
phone #. They gave good advice.

I responded, saying I was glad the hotline
had helped and assuring him I'd keep in touch, then left the
streetcar at Leslie Street and walked the short distance to the
park entrance. I'd start at one end and check everything I passed
along the way.

My progress was achingly slow, since I left
the path over and over to look behind trees and inspect the river,
and having to stop every few minutes to answer another of Loren's
hopeful text messages didn't help. I considered telling him he
didn't need to bother, since of course I'd tell him right away if I
found his dad, but I figured he needed to send the messages, to at
least be doing something. I couldn't imagine how helpless he must
feel.

After walking for what seemed like forever, I
saw something on the grass near a tree. A running shoe, a man's by
the size, lay on its side as if it had been tossed or kicked
off.

No guarantee it was Martin's, but it could
be, so I backed up about a hundred meters or so then moved forward
again, searching even more intently than I had before. The trees by
the water were so leafy it was hard to see the riverbed, but I did
my best.

When I'd gone about a hundred meters past the
shoe, I sank onto a huge rock by the water and sighed. What if I
didn't find him? How would I face Loren?

I took a deep breath, letting the gurgling
sound of the river calm me, then just for completeness looked in
both directions along the river before getting to my feet.

Down, nothing.

Up...

Excitement pounded through me. Someone sat,
feet in the water, on a rock a little upstream. The riverbed jutted
out there, shielded from above by trees that prevented me noticing
the person as I passed.

I squinted but couldn't see the person
clearly, so I picked my way along the river's edge, afraid to climb
back up to the path and then not be able to figure out where to go.
When I'd closed half the difference between us, I knew it was a
man, and his plaid shirt and rolled-up jeans suggested I'd found
Martin.

He had his head down, too intent on the water
to even notice my stumbling arrival, and I didn't want to scare
him, so I took a few more steps then stopped and cleared my
throat.

He looked up. Definitely old enough to be
Loren's dad, but his eyes were a basic blue instead of Loren's
gorgeous aquamarine. Maybe Loren had his mother's eyes. "Hello
there, dear."

"Hi. Enjoying the water?"

He nodded. "Want to come see?"

He didn't seem remotely surprised to see me,
or bothered to be talking to a stranger, which strengthened my
belief this was Martin. "Sure. Just let me send a quick message
first."

I held up my phone and snapped a picture of
the man. The phone's shutter sound made me jump but he'd gone back
to staring at the water and didn't react. I sent the picture as a
message to Loren after tagging it with my phone's GPS. If it was
his dad, he'd come find us. If not, he'd let me know and I'd
somehow extricate myself from hanging out with a stranger.

I slipped the phone into my pocket and
approached the man. "I'm Andrea. What's your name?"

"They're back!"

I blinked. "Who are?"

He looked up and waved me over impatiently.
"You have to see. Don't step in the water, you'll scare them."

I made my way to his side, and peered down to
see tiny silvery fish darting around in the water near his bare
feet. "Fish?"

"What did you expect, a llama?"

I laughed, and he looked up and smiled at me
then returned his attention to the water.

"Aren't you afraid they'll bite?"

He shook his head. "They're just swimming
around me. Put your foot in and see."

In the water full of fish poop and who knew
what else? "No, that's okay."

He sighed but didn't say anything.

Such an easy thing to reverse and it would
make him happy. "Actually, you know what? I think I will."

I shucked off my teal suede flats and set
them on the grass so they wouldn't disappear into the river, then
sat next to him and lowered my feet into the water. The fish
scattered, then returned and danced around our feet.

"See? They don't bite."

"You were right. And the water feels great."
My shoes were still a touch too tight even though I wore them a lot
and my feet loved the cool touch of the water and the smooth stones
of the riverbed. So soothing.

He smiled at me, then his forehead creased.
"How did I get here?"

"I don't know. Have you been here
before?"

"Oh, my, yes, lots of times. But not for a
while." He frowned. "I think I'm not supposed to be here now
either. Are you?"

"I should be at work."

"Maybe I should too." He shut his eyes for a
moment, then opened them and looked at me. "Do I know you?"

"We just met. I'm Andrea. But you didn't tell
me your name yet."

"I'm Martin," he said, and relief flooded me.
True, he was confused, but at least I'd found him. Unless there
were two old men named Martin roaming the park, which seemed
unlikely.

"Nice to meet you," I said.

He smiled. "You too, dear. What's your
name?"

Ouch. I took a breath to tell him again then
heard Loren calling me. I stood up and carefully put both feet on
the grass then took a few steps away from Martin so I wouldn't
deafen him before calling back, "Over here!"

"Again!"

"Down here, by the water!" I thought Martin
might question why I was yelling but he didn't seem to notice.

The trees rustled and Loren appeared. At the
sight of his dad, he rubbed his hand over his mouth and muttered,
"Thank God."

Martin looked up. "Hi there... Loren!"

His confusion at first and then his delight
in recognizing his son brought tears to my eyes and I blinked
furiously as Loren said, "Dad, you scared me. Why'd you go out by
yourself?"

"But I'm not by myself. See?" He pointed to
me.

Loren and I looked at each other and he shook
his head. "What do I say to that?"

I smiled though my heart was aching. "He's
smart. I see where you get it."

Loren blushed, and his dad said, "Come put
your feet in the water. The fish are nice."

"Dad, we'll come back on the weekend, okay? I
have to go to work."

I remembered that actually he didn't, but
before I could decide whether I should say so in front of Martin
Loren added, "And you had that cold last week. You shouldn't be
soaking your feet in cold water."

Martin rolled his eyes at me. "He's so
pushy." He got to his bare feet, though. "Where are my shoes?"

"And your socks, for that matter."

We found both socks stuffed into the one shoe
he'd brought down to the water for some reason. Loren dried his
dad's feet on his own khaki pants and put his socks on, and I went
barefoot to let my feet air-dry while I fetched Martin's other
shoe.

"Come with us," Loren said to me once his dad
and I both had our shoes on. "I'll take you to work
afterwards."

After checking to make sure Martin wasn't
listening, I said quietly, "Dana gave us the day off with pay. For
all the work we've been doing."

He shook his head, a smile growing. "She's
always trying to give me time off. Says I need a break. She must
have figured it'd work better if she sent it through you."

I smiled back, touched by our sweet boss.
"Did it?"

"Guess we'll see."

Martin insisted I sit in the front seat of
Loren's obviously old but clean car, and he chattered away from the
back as Loren drove us without speaking to their townhouse a little
north of the park. Once we arrived, Loren handed Martin over to his
caregiver, who'd clearly been crying, then gave her shoulder a
squeeze when she tried to apologize yet again. "It's okay. I know
he's fast. But keep those locks on, okay?"

She sniffled and nodded.

"Bye, Dad. See you tonight."

Martin looked up vaguely. "Okay. Bye." He
turned to me. "Bye."

I smiled and said goodbye, then the caretaker
closed the door and Loren and I left. He paused on the steps,
though, his head cocked to one side, then came forward and said,
"Wanted to make sure she locked the door."

"I doubt she'll forget again. Ever."

"You're probably right."

We stood on the driveway looking at each
other, then he said, "I can't thank you enough."

I shook my head. "You don't have to thank me
at all. I'm just glad I found him."

"Yeah. Me too."

He looked so tired, and so miserable, that I
couldn't stop myself taking a step toward him and wrapping my arms
around his neck. As I did, I wondered if it was too forward, but he
pulled me close at once.

I held him tight and closed my eyes,
overwhelmed by the feelings rushing through me. Relief at Martin's
safe return home, happiness I'd been able to help, sympathy for
Loren, amazement at how safe and protected I felt in his arms and
how right holding him felt...

And a desperate desire to kiss him.

I couldn't believe how strong it was. I'd
never thought of kissing him before but now my mouth burned with
longing. But I couldn't, of course. You can't just kiss a coworker
because you feel like it. Not to mention, I'd never kissed anyone
but Alex and changing that would be such a huge sign I'd moved on.
I
had
moved on, but was I ready for that?

I pressed my cheek to his chest and refused
to let myself do what I so wanted, and we held each other for a
long moment before he squeezed me a little closer then let me
go.

When I looked up at him, his eyes were
suspiciously bright. Tears tightened my throat and I looked away to
give him a chance to recover. I couldn't imagine how he was dealing
with everything.

"Thanks," he said gruffly after a few
seconds.

I cleared my throat. "Hey, it's the least I
could do after you got me to pull the handle on the bungee
ride."

He chuckled. "Hardly the same thing, but if
you say so. All right, what should we do with our day off?"

I blinked, surprised he wanted to spend it
with me.

He flushed. "Oh, geez, I'm sorry. Of course
you don't have to--I mean--"

I shook my head. "I was just surprised you
didn't want to relax on your own. I'd love to hang out with you.
But are you sure?"

His face began to return to its normal color.
"Definitely. I'm always at work or with Dad. I'd enjoy spending the
day with you. If you want to."

Did I want to spend a whole day with a man I
longed to kiss? "Absolutely."

*****

Since he hadn't eaten yet, we decided to head
to the Eaton Centre for breakfast for him and a snack for me and
then see what we wanted to do next. The shopping center wasn't open
yet, but he took me to a tiny coffee shop that was and insisted on
paying for my snack, the best croissant I'd ever tasted. We stayed
for ages since everyone else was rushing in to buy things before
work and didn't need the chairs, and chatted non-stop. No topic was
off-limits, and he made that clear right after we sat down.

"Look, I think I owe you an apology." His
neck reddened. "You'll probably hate me but I have to tell you. You
used to work with Tina, right?"

I nodded. Oh, please, don't let him want to
date her.

"She was with my friend Brent for a while,
and she was bitching about her job and how some girl was standing
between her and the job she wanted. I..." The flush deepened. "I
got frustrated listening to her gripe about how messed up this
person was after a big breakup and said, 'Maybe she'll just quit
and you can take her job.' She seemed happy and it shut her up, but
when we talked at Wonderland and I realized how you came to work
with us... I've felt terrible."

He felt bad about
that
? I remembered
his reaction at Wonderland when I'd mentioned dealing with a
breakup and knew he did. How sweet. "Come on, it's not your fault.
I think Tina was well capable of coming up with that on her
own."

"Maybe, but I should have stayed out of it.
If I hadn't said anything she might not have decided to
make
you quit."

I sighed. "I suppose. But honestly, I think
I'm better off."

He wasn't convinced. "One stupid comment and
I changed your career path."

I reached out and patted his arm, partly to
comfort him but mostly because I wanted to touch him again.
"
She
changed it. You've been nothing but great to me." I
gave him a squeeze then let go though I didn't want to. "Besides,
she was right in one regard. I
was
messed up."

"Because of your ex?"

I nodded, and told him about my breakup with
Alex and how strange my life had felt afterward and how I was
crocheting and bellydancing and trying to figure out who I was as
an adult. He listened and empathized and asked questions about my
new hobbies and let me show him far more pictures of Harrison than
anyone needed to see and even convinced me to teach him the snake
arm movement I'd learned in dance class the week before, making us
both teary-eyed with laughter when his snakes were more like metal
pipes than sinuous reptiles.

When we'd calmed, I said, "And what about
you? I didn't know about your dad."

He shrugged. "I don't like to beg for
sympathy so I don't talk about it much. My mom died of cancer two
years ago. At that point Dad was only a little forgetful, but I
think she knew something was happening. She made me promise to keep
him at home and take care of him, and I said I would. I'd have said
anything to make her happy at that point. But I don't know if I can
do it forever."