A Mother's Love (6 page)

              Her name was Tammy and she was beautiful. She reminded me of Halle Berry. I mean the woman was gorgeous. She had remarried and was happy. She didn’t have any more kids. Her and Vince was long over and she just wanted to see him happy. She didn’t judge me in my face but I’m sure she talked shit about me behind my back. She stayed very casual with me. Her husband on the other hand was another story. Tyler Pierce, he was older, way older, he was in his sixties. He was a lawyer who used to be a Gangsta. You could tell he was an OG from the way that he walked and talked. I knew Vince was a gangsta but he didn’t act like one.

              I had decided to spend the afternoon with Nancy. We still had a bond that could not be broken. She was like my Mom and although we had our ups and downs we still had a strong bond. We decided to eat at Olive Garden. I had Daphne with us and the two boys were at the house with Vincent.

              “So are yall going to get married?”Nancy asked me as she ate her soup.

              I nibbled on my salad as I waited for my spaghetti. “I don’t know yet we just comfortable as we are.”

              “Girl don’t let that man take advantage of you. Now I know yall are comfortable but you also got three kids. Kids which I might add are not his. So what you need to be figuring out is why he is so nice to you.”

              “Nancy he say he love me. And I think it’s true. Cause he treat me so good.”

              “Alright don’t say I didn’t warn you. That man got motives behind what he doing for you.”              

              I had heard this so many times from Zaharra too. She felt that Vince was taking advantage of me. But I think that people were just jealous. But I did have to think what were Vince and I doing. We had been dating officially for about a year. He hadn’t asked me to be his wife or anything so what was he doing. He made sure I was taken care of so what were his plans?             

              I went home after that brunch and got to asking Vincent questions. He was in the living room watching Shamar play on his little Tonka truck and Jr. was playing with some crayons.

              “Hey baby I missed you.” Vince said as I sat next to him on the couch.

              “Hey Vince I need to talk to you about something.”

              “What’s wrong baby?”

              “I need to know where this is headed. I have kids that I have to worry about. I don’t want for one day you to up and leave me. And then I have no place to go.”

              “Wait. Where is this coming from?” he asked I could tell he was frustrated.

              “Look Shane and I were living good but when things got rough he left.”

              “Look baby I’m a grown ass man, Shane he may be twenty two but he still got little boy thoughts. I ain’t gone leave you or your kids to be left out in the cold. I’m here I’m staying and you staying.”

              “Well why?” I had to ask I didn’t do anything spectacular for Vince.

              I know he had better sex, he been with a way prettier ladies, I had all these kids, and I was still a child I brought nothing to the table.

              “Girl have a little bit of confidence in yourself. I love you because you not trying to use me. You are sincere with everything you do for me. You made mistakes but you don’t try to pin it on nobody you take care of these kids. I love you because you are you and you don’t pretend for nobody.” He made me feel special and after that talk I was content with my man and what we were doing, whatever that was.

              Living with Vince was great. The kids and I didn’t want for anything. He eventually paid off the house so we were living good. He had bought a club on top of having the strip club. We had gone to Vegas and let me tell you what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas; we did some pretty freaky things. He took the kids to Disney World, and then we went to South Beach for a week. Three years had passed and I had not gotten pregnant. That birth control shit really worked. My little sister Tesha had started coming around more since she was eighteen. My Mom had kept her from me saying I would be a bad influence with all my kids.

              It was my twenty first birthday and for once I was not pregnant. Vince was throwing me a huge party at the club. I had bought me an all white cat suit. I had some gold goddess heels to match with my accessories and I definitely was going to be the life of the party. I got my hair straighten. Over the years my hair was still long and was down to my ass now. I guess kids do help something.

              The night of the party was jumping Rick came and brought his boyfriend Aaron, then Red and Yellow was there dressed to the nine. And of course Zaharra’s big booty ass came with her man. She was pregnant so she wasn’t going to be partying like me. I finally got to meet her boyfriend Marcus. He was cute so I gave her props and got my party on the music was knocking in my eardrums. I was dancing and drinking Nuvo like it was water.

              I was dancing for Vince and he was having a good time. Niggas was mad as I danced in the crowd I gave them no love. They knew Vince was my man. I waved to him in VIP and blew him kisses. We ended the night in a hotel room making love. The love making was strong and intense it was like I was falling in love all over again. Vince asked me if I would have his baby that took me by surprise but I told him I had to think about that.

              I talked to Nancy about the whole baby idea. She told me hell you done had everybody else baby. And I had to agree. Plus my kids were older. Daphne was now five and such a big girl helping me out. Shamar was two and Jr. was three. All of them was out of diapers so why not was the answer. I would be completing my Bachelors in Social Work next year so I might as well give my man a baby.             

              I stopped getting my shot and we started working on a baby. It was funny actually planning a baby. It seemed like accidents happened faster. But after three months we got pregnant. It was exciting. It was the first time I didn’t feel scared I felt secure. We had just gotten our ultrasound and found out we were having a girl. I was elated. Daphne needed a little sister. We decided to name her Violet.

              It was a hot day.  I was six months pregnant. That day for some reason I was irritable hot. The kids were with their daddies for the weekend and Vince and I were going shopping for some nursery things. We decided to let Daphne have her room to herself. We had decided to get rid of the office room. I was really irritated and I didn’t wanna go out.

              Vince was excited he hadn’t gone shopping for a baby, well his own baby in fifteen years. We got in the car and were headed for the mall. We jumped on the highway and I noticed a black car following us. I thought I was tripping and since Vince didn’t seem worried I was not going to worry. He was excited and ready to hit up the mall. We got to the parking lot and I noticed the black car again. I was about to say something to Vince about it but it was too late. The black car sped up raised down the windows and started shooting. I opened my door and rolled out of my seat onto the concrete. I made sure to fall on my back as not to hurt my stomach. I heard people screaming and glass shattering. I heard the car screech off and I got up. I looked at the car in horror. There was Vince lying on the steering wheel, blood everywhere, holes all throughout his body. I knew he was dead. My knees buckled, and I felt really hot and then everything went black. I woke up in the hospital. My body felt sore and I was confused. When I started to remember I started screaming Vince’s name. A nurse rushed in and calmed me down.

              “Ma’ am you are going to have to calm down the baby is already in stress from the shooting.”

              That made me calm down I didn’t wanna lose the only thing that was attached to Vince. I cried but I tried to remain calm. I called Zaharra and she was happy I was okay. My sister Tesha came up to the hospital to visit me. She told me my kids were still with their daddies. She was going to get them and bring them to see me.

              I had gotten shot in the shoulder. I was ready to go home although I dreaded Vince not being there. I had to make the funeral arrangements. I was released from the hospital two weeks later. I made funeral arrangements for my beloved and was preparing myself to deal with my lost. It was hard explaining everything to the kids they adored Vince.

              I used all the money in Vince’s safe for his funeral. It didn’t matter the house was paid for, so the utilities bills could be paid for with my job. I could just ask for more hours. It had been a month since Vince’s death. I was dealing well with the lost. Even the kids were okay now. They were just confused and Shamar my youngest would sometimes ask for Vince and I had to explain the he was gone and wasn’t coming back. It was hard to explain the lost to the kids. At the funeral Daphne broke down I wanted her to see what was going on I wanted them to understand.

              I was coming home from work. I had just got the kids and when we pulled up to the house the sheriff was there. I made my kids stay in the car and got out.

              “Ma’ am are you Denesha?”

              “Yeah that’s me.” I said to the officer. He was white with gray hair.

              “You need to get some of your things out the house this house now belongs to the Federal government.” I damn near lost my mind.

              “What the fuck do you mean? This house is paid for.” I said.

              “Yeah paid with drug money, this is the last time I am going to tell you get your stuff and get out.”

              I ran into the house and tried to grab as much stuff as I could. I was crying and distraught. I called Yellow hoping she would answer I had nowhere to go. Yellow told me that we could come stay with her for awhile.

Chapter Nine

              That was years ago. Now I was with a terrific man. Quincy was everything to me. Vince was everything until I found out that he was a drug dealer. He tried to act all intelligent and was out of the street life. When really he was a damn drug dealer who left me with nothing that lie almost cost me my life and my kids. The shit l learned after he died was indescribable. I thought after the sheriff let me go that everything was okay. But they hunted me down at my job and started asking me questions. They arrested me in front of my co workers. So you know that was a wrap for my job.

              Tesha got my kids for me while I was being interrogated and treated like a criminal. They told me more shit than I knew about the man that I loved. Vincent was a drug dealer and had been one for years. He was a killer also. They showed me pictures of Vince’s work. People were mutilated and tortured by him. The shit was horrific. I was hot and sweaty and after thirteen hours in the interrogation room my stomach started hurting. I knew what it was. The stress, of all the bullshit I was going into labor.

              The detectives thought I was lying and made me sit there in pain. I was crying and screaming I need to go. They were torturing me my water bag broke and I knew the baby was coming. They finally took me to the hospital and I delivered Violet. I almost died. Violet was premature and had to be in ICU. I was about ready to die. Thank God to my sister that she kept my kids for me. While in the hospital I became depressed. The police left me alone they could have gotten sued for the shit they did to me. But since I was twenty three years old with four kids and no money what could I do.

              When I was released I was happy. I went back to Yellow’s house with my kids. I knew I had to do something. So I decided to work at the club with Yellow and Red. For a chick that had four kids my body was still on point. I had minimum stretch marks, my stomach was flat, my ass was fat, and I could dance. I went to meet Omar, their boss. He was handsome I had to say. I wasn’t quite healed from giving birth but I wasn’t bleeding. I had to put on a dance show for him and two of his boys. I wasn’t really nervous more embarrassed. Red came with me and told them that she would dance with me to settle my nerves. I had also drank a bottle of Patron to settle my nerves.

              I wore a white dress and I had on some lace underwear underneath. These were the same niggas that had just seen me flossing when Vince was alive. I knew they were loving this shit. But I didn’t give a damn I had kids to feed. So I put on the best damn show they had ever seen. Of course they gave it to me. I was embarrassed but I knew I could get paid. I decided to use Delightful as my stage name.

Delightful not Denesha…

              I had been working at the Club for about a month now and I had already gotten my own place. It was another low income but it was a three bedroom. I put Daphne and Violet in one room and Shamar and Jr. in the other room. Violet was still not home yet. They said she would probably get out the hospital the following week. I had to get things prepared for her. I had to buy all new shit for my kids so I worked extra hard at the Club. I made sure I did extra to receive extra. I had made enough money to get my kids some bedroom sets. I had bought them some new clothes and shoes since all our shit was back at the house.

              I couldn’t believe Vince had left me in this situation. But I’m gone get up and pick myself up and not let this get the best of me. Tesha watched the kids at night when I worked. I made sure I looked magnificent some out of town niggas was here so I had to be up to par. I had my hair crinkly. I wore a police custom tonight cause I was trying to arrest this money.